chapter 17 pain

Getting to the Port was almost nostalgic, remembering everything from that night like it was yesterday, the first time I was released on target with no leash attached, also having someone see me for who was. Meeting zodiac was easy he already set up a sniper for himself to cover our escape giving us three bags of swim gear. It's her father's yacht and lit up like it was the first night I met her "this is going to be fun isn't it" says zodiac myself an mikki are about four hundred yards out, as we start swimming to the boat we get lower in the water then wait for it to come to us, while underwater Mikki as well as myself roars of the people on the boat. Getting was quite easy we take down two guests, and use their outfits, Mikki disguises herself while I use my guise to change into the many with roses on his neck, we make are way to the main deck, there are people from all over Goliath here (hello, "yes" go to the engine room I'll take care of Saya "good hunting")  making my way through the crowd of people on the main deck was difficult there are crowds of members to the Pandoran collective, they're everywhere Saya must be on nearby, a distant voice yell from further in "the newest member of our collective is about to come into this world" shit the kid, it being born today, I then immediately fire my gun, as well as slicing my though other combatants "free for all" says a distance voice, everyone around me starts attacking each other, using it as a distraction, everyone is fighting now with everything they have { what's going on I heard gunshots (it's nothing ugh…) are you okay (I'm fine) I've planted semtex, and I've searched everywhere for Athena (leave) what about you (I said leave)} there's blood and death all across the deck, making my way to the top deck there are two guards guarding some door that wasn't there the last time I was on the yacht, Monika takes pop shots at them taking them out, my putting my helmet on, my body the break through the door there are doctor's as well as nurses moving back in fourth. all I hear is screaming, Athena's scent it's nearby, filling it led me to a room where Saya is there, she's screaming as if she being stabbed. Looking at her I see her giving child birth, dropping to the floor from being overwhelmed by what I'm seeing, something is pushing my helmet, it's Athena she doesn't look tied up, she probably scheming, she saying something to me, but I'm unable to hear her, all that I can hear now is the cries of a baby, reloading my gun, then I kill everyone in the room walking to Saya, Athena is trying to push me back, throwing her across the room helped, my gun is now pointed at the child and Saya, looking at her she says "I win" she then hands me the child, the child reaches out to me grabbing and scraping at my necklace, looking back at Saya she then passes on, my gun hand then points at Athena "James dont" she screams (why not) "because I can give you back Cindy (how) just give me the child, I want to take him to a safe place that was the deal me and Athena made (for what) so she wouldn't attack us anymore (no) you can't be serious, you can't raise a child (your right I can't) then why are you doing this (because… I must) what does that mean just give me the child (no ! You are going to make someone exactly like me, a monster)" someone comes in the room with me even noticing they're covered in blood,it wearing my helmet, (Cidny?) "H… calm down…" she said this while pointing a gun at me after she took off my helmet, she walks closer to me, my hand moves my pistol into double action "H… I'm going to take off your helmet (helmet off)" my helmet then breaks in half, to show them that there is tears running down my face "H please drop the gun she was just trying to help (your helping her) yes her and I want the same thing (to stop Pandora) no to protect your child and the people of this city that you've given your life to protect (are you going to shoot me)... Are you going to shoot Athena (you worked with Athena knowing that she lied to you about me being dead) after she told me Saya was having your baby… I knew that you would try at nothing to finder her, so I did what you would do (you became a monster) no! Quit it with this monster bull shit, you are a person who sacrifices his own life for people who don't even you exist, you fight so that baby that you hold in your arms has a chance at a life better than the one we have now, so drop the gun and give me the baby  (no I'm going to kill this baby) no!!!" As I point the gun at this newborn child, it just touches the barrel with its left hand, my legs give out,.my weapon fall, while I scream at the top of my lungs, Cidny then wraps her arms around me in the child, she smiles with me, as we gaze upon the child Athena sighs as loud as possible before saying "H did you run this op? (Yes…) you planted explosive on this boat didn't you (run)" grabbing the baby and Cidny hand we run to the Port side of the deck as fast as are legs can move (did you come here on a boats) "yes just keep running" she says that while I'm bursting through crowds of people while firing upon them, Athena jumped off as soon as she saw water, getting on the boat we take off, the moment after we leave the yacht explodes as well catching on fire, the bodies of people on fire fall off the side. 

When we get back to the cafe everyone is already waiting for us, Cidny holds the child in her arms "what are you going to name her" she asks (her?) She might not even be my child, it could've been one of Saya's lies, but looking at that child, there's this feeling inside me telling me to protect this child, it's the same feeling that I have whenever Cidny is near me (Cleo) "I like it" she says, (I don't know how to raise a child "neither do I, but we'll make the best of it" I'm sure we will) opening the doors to the cafe we are berated with confetti and congratulations from everyone, they all believe it's over now that Pandora's leadership has crumbled, though I still believe that this might only be a small portion of  of pandora's full strength, realizing that Kelly is in the cafe, my hand quickly turned on my guise, Kelly notices me instantly then jumps on me saying "Aedan… that blonde women told me you were apart of that boat that blew up on the news" that was fast, the news already covered the explosion she then tightens her grip "who's that" she asks while looking at Cidny and Cleo (this is my sister and her daughter) Cidny then punches me in the spine before walking towards Candyce then leaving with her, releasing myself from Kelly grip, I take her to my room, her hand shivers while walking up the stairs, we passed Monika, Francis and Mikki who seemed to be burning the playing card with Saya's name on it. Putting Kelly in my desk chair, I then lock my door. "Uhm what ya doing" her voice sounds very nervous (I'm going to show you who I really am "huh?") Turning my guise off, she then saw my real face, her hands cover her mouth as she falls down on her knees crying, walking to her she then slides away (my name is Huntley  Adams) she then stood up to then run at me wrap her arms around me she states "your're my hero" looking at her we then talk about why I'm her hero, a long time ago two boys took her to the back of an alley and tried to rape her, before I intervened. She was so terrified by the blood, in shock she ran away from me after my fight with those two boys was over. She lays on the bed with me as she laughs at the fact she stalked me for a while, she wanted to meet me more than anything just to thank me (you know that woman wasn't my sister "I kinda put that together, I did read up on you on Pandora's feed" and you're okay with what I've done "well I'm not okay that you didn't tell me sooner other than that I'm fine with it" huh… thank you "why are you thanking me" don't worry about it "so the masquerade balls in one day" it already morning "oh… I guess it is--" why did you just hit me "stop surprising me, and tell Monika that you don't like her instead of dragging her along---" you know hitting me isn't getting you anywhere "what about this") she kisses me, her lips are soft, and taste like cherries. She then starts groping me while I slowly started taking off her clothes, as she runs her hand across my chest she softly pushes me onto my back. How long will it be till this is all over, my patience is waning, my breaking point is very close, how am I aloud to have this moment. My nature is starting to show more and more, that nature is being a wolf among sheep. Everytime I thrust into Kelly, the memories of all my pain, all my suffering, all my sacrifices start to run through my mind, their the scars that remind me of who I am. Hearing Kelly pant louder and louder, my ears catch on to a sound coming from the door handle "do… you… wanna stop?" She ask me (no) the smell coming from the door, though I can't see the door itself, the smell is a curtain fragrance, Its Monika's scent, the door opens, Kelly didn't seem to hear it, there is no one there, Kelly screams again before covering her mouth, there are more footsteps coming from outside. Getting up Kelly asks "what's wrong, did you finish?" Opening my door looking to see if anyone around there is only Mikki, she then slaps me in the face, before walking off. (Hey wait "what !" Lewis capaldi I'll sing it "you've never sung before" (does that matter) she then leaves, getting back to my room (michael [yeah…] show me footage of Monika [password] prey… Michael unlock her door code palace) the footage Michael showed me was of her trying to hang herself "wait what is going on ?" Kelly shouts at my direction while trying to get dressed, rushing to Monika's room, my body stops by hitting her door (Michael I said open the fucking door [I can't shes overridden the electronic controls] Monika I know what your about to do, stop it ! Monika… Mikki get over here " what now!" Monikas trying to kill herself "fuck" (Monika speak to me ) my body hit the door with all my strength punching through the door with my right hand, I look through the hole and she already hanging there (no no no no) I then pull the door open after unlocking it, using the blade in my right arm to cut her down she then falls into my arms (Monika open your eyes) checking her pulse, there seem to be none (Mikki we need a difibultore, why are you just standing there get me a fucking difibultore "she's gone" no no no no no no Monika please come on wake up ahhh… ahhhh…. Ahhh) everyone enters the room. To see me hold her dead body in my arms, this is all my fault.

It is now the night of the masquerade festival, everyone is still torn about Monika, the school will be holding a memorial service for her, they believe she was apart of the deaths caused on the yacht, its all my fault if I wasn't so selfish this would never have happened. Kelly is trying to keep a smile on my face any which way she can, even Cidny who carried Cleo in hand tried to cheer me up, because they all knew, that I blame myself. While getting dressed, my mind is slowly being drawn back to the person that used to be  Kelly points out to me "your shoelaces are untied" while fixing my cufflinks (I know "stop that" stop what "do you think… what do you think Monika would say to you right now, if she saw you in this state" … I'm sorry, "it's okay baby, Cece said he'd meet us at the school, Francis already went ahead as well with Mikki to set things up" I know your also in pain "d-don't worry about me now let's go" we haven't even buried Monika yet. We head to the festival on my old motorcycle. On arrival we see many of our classmates in black to mourn the students they've lost, I'm the only one dressed in white downing the mask of the wolf, Kelly wearing the mask of a fox is wearing multiple shade of red. we get to the auditorium building where francis is tuning his guitar while Cece is setting up the sound equipment, Mikki is just standing in the middle of the stage right next to the piano, standing next to her she asks what are we going to play with a fake smile on her face (were going to start off with Lewis Capaldi someone you loved, then we'll do coming over by dillion francis, then Cece will do is violin recital he's been working on "are you going to dance with Kelly ?" do you not have a dance partner ? "I'll be fine" after this why don't we… "you don't have to push yourself for me, just you still being here is good enough for me, and you know Kelly is getting a little jealous right now, with your arm wrapped around me" she knows I treat you like a sister "you try, but we've kissed, I almost raped you, and kill you, I' ve tasted your blood" you did "you don't know this but when

I was on the yacht planting the explosives, I put them on a timer" I knew "You know looking at Kelly and you together, is reminding me of when you were with Cidny, you were happy, do you still think about her?" I've never stopped thinking about her " if it's okay for me to ask, then why are you with kelly?" she's different, she reminds me of myself in a way, I can't truly describe it to you, but unlike Cidny where I'm drawn to her, Kelly gives me a reason to become stronger "wow" what ? "nothing, I just envy you for having an answer for everything" (it's almost time) I wasn't lying to Mikki when I told her how I feel about Kelly, sitting in front of the piano practicing, someone sits next to me, paying them no mind I keep practicing, they hum to the sound of the piano, the humming reminds me of Monika, finally looking to the person next to me, to my surprise, Monika is the one sitting next to me, my hands stop practicing as I try to grab at her, though when that happens, my hands don't touch Monika, but instead Kelly "are you okay" she asks, as she slowly wipes my face, slowly she leans in delivering a kiss "good luck". People start crowding the auditorium, minutes pass as the auditorium finally get filled. Backstage Kotegawa talks to Mikki, Francis as wells as myself about potential threats tonight, because Pandora is still in active group, he also told us that he has asked some of his old colleagues to help with tonight's events, after talking with is as a group, he pulls me over to talk privately "hey I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about Monika (don't be it wasn't your fault) it wasn't yours either (are we done talking) no we're not (listen I know your my father) for how long (since I got back) do you resnet (no,but I don't want your pity, I know you're trying to help but I failed to protect someone close to me, the last thing I need is my absentee father telling me it's not my fault that I failed someone close) alright, you should know though, I'm not trying to show you pity, I'm trying to tell you I'm proud of you, when you first came into my office you were exactly what I was when I was younger, strong headed, lifeless, and aggressive now your ten times the man that I am now, I just wanted you to know that (are you done) "sure" making my way on stage everything is already set up, sitting down, I place my hands on the key, the feeling that someone next me is there again, but looking around there is no one near me. (Alright everyone, we are here today to remember the ones we have lost, and to honor their memory, by being better than we were yesterday) I then start to play Monika's favorite song (I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me...This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy...I need somebody to heal....Somebody to know...Somebody to have...Somebody to hold...It's easy to say...But it's never the same...I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain...Now the day bleeds...Into nightfall...And you're not here...To get me through it all...I let my guard down...And then you pulled the rug....I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved...I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to...This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you...Now, I need somebody to know...Somebody to heal...Somebody to have...Just to know how it feels...It's easy to say but it's never the same...I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape...Now the day bleeds...Into nightfall...And you're not here...To get me through it all...I let my guard down...And then you pulled the rug...I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved...And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes...I fall into your arms...I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around...For now the day bleeds...Into nightfall...And you're not here...To get me through it all...I let my guard down...And then you pulled the rug...I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved..But now the day bleeds...Into nightfall...And you're not here...To get me through it all...I let my guardown....And then you pulled the rug...I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved...I let my guard down...And then you pulled the rug...I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved) looking at the crowd after the song was over, they were all holding their phones up, they didn't cheer or if they did I couldn't hear them, all that really caught my eye was Kelly, her lips were moving, she was trying to tell me something, then she started the next song  "Is it alright if I come round...Is it too late if I come now...Would you stay up to figure this out...Some way...If I stay here would you come back...If I stay cool would you be mad...Would you want me if I want you...That way...'Cause all I can think about is coming over, coming over...All I can think about is coming over, coming over...All I can think about is coming over, coming oh, coming over...Isn't it strange?...Oh, oh, oh, oh...Isn't it strange?...This song, oh, oh, oh...Isn't it strange?...Oh, oh, oh, oh...Isn't it strange?...This song, oh, oh, oh...Isn't it strange that every time...I look at your name I'm suddenly high...For you to feel the same I would do almost anything...I'd give away this, give away that...All of my shoes and all of my hats...All I need's you and a bit of music...'Cause all I can think about is coming over, coming over...All I can think about is coming over, coming over...All I can think about is coming over, coming oh, coming over...Isn't it strange?...Oh, oh, oh oh....Isn't it strange?...This song, oh, oh, oh...Isn't it strange?...Oh, oh, oh, oh...Isn't it strange?...This song, oh, oh, oh...'Cause all I can think about is coming over, coming over...All I can think about is coming over, coming over...All I can think about is coming over, coming oh, coming over" after Kelly sang Mikki came from behind me and said "go to her" walking towards Kelly she drops her guitar before leaping into my are, slowly putting her back down are hands entangled themselves together Cece then started playing his Melody on high violin as we danced on stage Kelly then whispers in my ear "I'm sorry" she's apologizing for the fact that she believes she was the reason behind Monika suicide, I don't say anything, we just dance as if we're the only couple in the room, though something caught my eye Cece was smiling (everyone get out) there was explosions from the piano instantly throwing me against a wall, while also knocking me out, Cece why ? I wake up to being dragged by someone, there is rubble everywhere my ears catch the sound of gunfire, there is Francis in the distance he's firing at something, he gets shot in the head his body rolls towards me, Kelly is behind cover screaming while Mikki's next to her firing ahead of her, looking at Kelly she is bleed ing"son wake up" Kotegawa seems to be dragging me he picks me up then hands me a knife "go to them go!" Immediately I run towards the fire stabbing combatants left and right suing their own weapons against them, bodies are falling left and right, students are crawling away with half their body missing looking back at Kotegawa, I see Cece shove a sword through him (no!) Shooting while running towards Cece he throws a knife directory into my shoulder before I tackle him to a wall ripping out the same knife to stab him in the collar he laughs "you enjoy this don't you the suffering I can see it in your face your the same as me" using my teeth, I rip out his throat, his words do not reach me as he grabs at my face before he dies, Kelly ! Running to her Mikki says "I'm so sorry when you said get down she pushed you out of the way i-im so sorry" holding Kelly there's pieces of large shrapnel in her back she tries to speak (hey baby don't talk just look at me, were gonna get rid of this right Mikki… Mikki… "its… okay…" no don't do this to me "I know… you still… love her" no don't say that just save your strength "I love you… I've always have… since the first.. day I met you… be happy please" Kelly ? Kelly !) Her pulse has stopped, slowly putting her body back down I move to the voices of the remaining soldier, firing upon them while walking, they run, then I run faster catching up to the last guy, my hands grip his arm while my leg keeps him down he screams for his life, my hands rip his arm off, before beating him with it (ahhhhhhhhh what the fucck am I not enough for you word, when will you stop taking everything from me, my arm, is my body not enough for you somebody answer me… please ) looking down it seems there are knifes sticking out of me as well as swords. My body then falls to the ground, the last thing I see is the sun rising, It's warm.