CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 8

I watch in amusement as the boys do ridiculous things while playing truth or dare. They really do set themselves silly challenges. I laughed out loud when they asked Diane to swallow a raw egg. I guess karma always comes to you wherever you are.

"Are you having a good time?" James asks with his jaw resting on my shoulder. I nod, settling in between his legs.

Neither of us are playing games, just watching and laughing at each other. Sometimes it's best to be a spectator and not a partisan.

"What about you?" I ask him back, leaning against his chest.

He nods after giving a quick kiss on my cheek.

After a few seconds, I glance at his phone when - so that his arms are on either side of me - he takes it in his hands and reads a message: "How's the party going, Nate?"

I'm sure that's Dereck and I confirm it when I read his name at the top of the screen. It's strange for me to see that he calls him Nate, I always forget that James has another name. I always forget that his first name is Nathan.

I read when James replies to Dereck:

"Fuck you, asshole, you're going to pay for it."

The response comes almost immediately:

"Answer the phone your sister is going to call you. Enjoy a very pissed off Little Red, motherfucker".

I smile when I remember that Little Red is Dereck's affectionate way of calling Anna Sophie, James' sister.

"Fuck," James grunts as his phone glows with an incoming call. He answers: "Hello, Anna."

Because his phone is right next to my ear, I can hear the conversation perfectly.

"Anna nothing! Dereck told me about the party you threw!" His sister sounds angry. "Our parents are going to kill you, Nathan!"

"I don't..."

"It's been one day since they've been gone! One day and you're already throwing the house out the window! Dad's going to kick your ass and I'm not going to defend you when that happens!" I also hear a manly laugh on the other end of the phone and I'm guessing the owner of that laugh is Dereck.

"Tell the bastard to stop laughing!" James rants, "He's the one who called half the school and threw the party, not me!"

There's silence on the other end of the line and then a loud female scream: "DERECK! I'll kill you!"

"Give him a year without sex for being an asshole" James says with a bit of amusement. "And tell him he's the one who's going to clean the house very early tomorrow morning. I'm not cleaning up shit that isn't mine and, since the party was his idea, let him clean up the mess."

I hear them struggling on the other end of the line. "Give me the phone, let me... the phone, Little Red" finally someone seems to hold the phone, then a boy's voice says: "You're a big mouth. My Little Red didn't have to know."

"Fuck you, asshole."

"That's what I say to you, Nate, because your sister called your parents a few minutes ago and told them about the party..."

"Fucking..."

"And they were pissed as shit" Dereck laughs. "Hopefully they think it was you, Nathan."

"Dad's going to kick your ass when he finds out the truth, Dereck," James says.

"Your dad loves me and he's going to kick your ass because your sister said it was you."

"Anna has a big mouth, how the hell did she think to call them and tell them that if they are on their honeymoon?"

"My Little Red thought your parents were playing chess, when in fact they were fucking" Dereck lowers his voice a little. "Does your sister know what you do on a honeymoon? Because she swears your parents are playing board games in a hotel room."

I bring my hand to my lips to stifle my laughter.

"Dereck, don't make fun of me!" She yells at him.

"Love, I'm sorry" Dereck doesn't sound sorry at all. "I'll make fun of your brother now."

"Don't..."

"Remember to use a condom, Nathan. I've left a box of condoms in your bathroom for you to use with that girl you keep naming all the time... what's her name, Red?" He asks and I hear Anna shout: Thea! "Ah yes, Thea. There are enough condoms, so there's no excuse if you get her pregnant..."

"Damn it, Dereck," James growls as I freeze in his arms, "Thea's with me and she's listening to you."

"Oh, is she?"

"Yes."

"Perfect" Dereck laughs again. "Hi, Thea! Nice to meet you, remember the box of condoms is in the bathroom. There are two boxes of a hundred, I think that's enough for one night..."

"I'm going to hang up on you, you son of a bitch" James growls at him.

"Don't forget to call your mother! And the condom..." James hangs up the phone line.

"Sorry about that," he says quietly.

I turn my face slightly to see his profile and am pleasantly surprised to find that he's blushing.

"You blushed" I tell him with a laugh wanting to escape my lips.

"That's not true" he replies, turning his face away so I can't see it.

"Of course it's true" and without being able to help it, I burst into loud laughter.

James mutters some bad words while I laugh like a madwoman.

"Ouch!" My laughter stops abruptly as my neck takes another bite. "You're going to kill my neck!"

"Don't tease me" he whispers.

"Okay" I reluctantly agree because I don't want to lose my neck. He looks like a vampire, only without the blood sucking part. And there I go again, getting distracted. I shake my head and concentrate. "They call you Nathan," I tell him.

He nods.

"It's my first name."

"What do you prefer to be called? Nathan or James?"

"Nathan" he answers immediately.

"So why do you let them call you James at school?" I asked, not understanding.

"Because I am Nathan to my family and James to others."

"Oh."

"Oh," he snaps at me, laughing against my skin and pulling me closer to his chest. "You can call me Nathan."

"I prefer James," I tell him because I'm used to it. "Do you mind? But you don't know how hard it is for me to remember someone's name, and now to change someone's name? God, much worse! I don't even know how I remember that my name is Thea, sometimes I say mom to dad and dad to mom, you know what I mean? But if you want me to tell you Nathan, I can make the effort and....

"Thea!" He shouts, laughing in my ear. "You're rambling again."

"I'm sorry" I bite my lip, now full of shame.

"Tell me however you want" he gives a quick kiss on my cheek and then stands up. "I'm going to call my mother. I'll be right back."

He walks away and I just sit there while I wait for him to come back.

I pull my knees up to my chest and look with amusement at Ben, who has had to put a girl's bra on his bare chest.

He looks so funny.

"Thea?"

I raise my face when a tall figure stands in front of me, obstructing my view.

"Mathew?" I smile at him. "Hi"

"Can I sit next to you?" He points to my side as if it were a chair instead of the cold floor.

I laugh.

"Sure, the floor is all yours."

When I have him next to me, he is silent, not saying a word. I feel bad because there were no awkward silences between him and me before. Rather there were no silences because we were always talking.

"How did it go?" He finally asks.

"Fine, and you?" I turn my face to look at his profile. "Did you pass all your exams?"

He nods, "I did well, did you pass math?"

A big smile stretches across my lips.

"Yes, James helped me."

Mathew frowns and looks away as soon as James' name leaves my lips.

"So James..." he mutters. "The boy stole my girlfriend and my best friend," he mumbles bitterly.

"James didn't steal anything from you" I tell him in a soft voice because I hadn't stopped to think that Ben has also walked away from him. "Ben still loves you, I'm sure of that."

"Do you?"

What about me?

"What about me?" I ask, not understanding.

"Do you still love me?"

"Sure" I answer immediately and he smiles with all his teeth. "You're like my brother. We grew up together, have you forgotten that?"

His smile immediately falls and another awkward silence forms between us.

"I miss him," he says, pointing to Ben who is doing something silly in front of everyone. "I miss you, Thea."

Without thinking, I bring my hand to his and give it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm here. I haven't gone anywhere, Mathew."

He smiles at me again, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes.

I look away because I can't stand the thought of him in pain, but then I meet James' gaze. He is looking with an unfocused face from Mathew to me, and back again.

I freeze in place because I don't know what is going through his head. James knows how important Mathew is to me, he knows I care for him. But he also knows that I'm over him, that I only see him as a friend.

He knows, doesn't he?

Holy Macarena, apparently he's forgotten because he gives me a death stare, shakes his head and goes like a bullet up the stairs, thus disappearing from the place.

"Talk to you later, Mathew" I walk away from him and run after James.

When I see him, he is inserting a key into a wooden door, opening what appears to be a room.

"James, wait!"

But he doesn't wait and enters the room, closing the door almost in my face.

Son of his... of his... of his beautiful mother!

I turn the doorknob and enter without asking permission. How rude, Thea! My inner self chides me, but now I don't plan to be polite.

"What's wrong with you?" I enter the room in near darkness, lit only by the night light coming in through the open window. "You slammed the door in my face!"

"Then go and keep talking to Mathew's ass-licker!"

"Don't be rude!" I retort, not daring to touch him because he looks fierce. His back is to me, his posture totally rigid. His hands are resting on the wall and his head is bent to the floor, avoiding looking at me.

"Go away, Mouse!" He growls through his teeth, his voice almost unrecognizable.

"Are you jealous, James?" I ask cautiously, advancing a cautious step toward him.

His laughter rings through the room, a laughter devoid of mirth.

"Jealous? How stupid!" He laughs again as he shakes his head. "I'm not jealous."

"You are jealous" this time I state it, not ask it.

"Yes, yes, I'm jealous up to my balls!" He turns suddenly to face me. "I'm pissed that guy looks at you, talks to you, touches you! I'm pissed he's holding your hand like he's got the fucking right!" He finishes with two long strides the space that separated us. "I'm fucking jealous!"

And he kisses me.

I remember clearly that our first kiss - in front of half the school - was not a shy kiss, on the contrary, there were already tongues wagging around. But this kiss? This kiss is hot as hell.

Thea, don't swear! I scold myself inwardly.

But I quickly forget my angry inner self, because James smashes me against the wall without a care as he drinks from my lips like a thirsty man. He's not careful, not patient. He is desperate and rough. And he doesn't wait for my consent to lift me by my thighs, thus wrapping my legs around his narrow waist. He breaks away for a second to noisily draw air into his lungs and again, his mouth reaches mine.

He sucks my lower lip between his lips and opens his own path with his tongue to the inside of my mouth. I am only able to bring my small hands around his neck to pull him closer to me. I mean, I may be clumsy and distracted, but I'm no fool. And only a fool would refuse his kiss.

"Thea" he growls before yanking off my t-shirt in one fell swoop.

Red alerts ring in my head, but are quickly forgotten as James' hot mouth falls back on mine. One of his hands pulls away from my skin for a second where I hear a small click! My desire clouded mind belatedly understands that it was the latch on the door right next to me, but again James pushes away the warning sounds in my head as his lips descend down my jaw towards my neck. They feel like fiery licks traveling straight down to my belly. And I can't even think, all I can do is feel. So the only thing my mouth chooses to do, is let out soft little sounds I've never uttered as his lips insistently roam all over my neck, anchoring his teeth every few seconds.

"James" I let out when his lips reach the exposed skin of my bra.

Diane did not warn me of this. She didn't warn me that his touch was going to leave my head in a world of only sensation.

His hands run up my waist to my breasts and he gently cups them between his hands, giving them just enough attention to get my world turned upside down.

"Can I take it out, please?" He asks huskily, bringing his hands behind my back, right to my bra clasp.

Yeah, no, I don't know.

"No" I finally decide, my forehead resting on his shoulder as I try to clear my head. "I'm not ready."

"You're not ready to have sex?" He asks bringing his touch back to my breasts, eliciting another small moan from me.

"No, yes, I don't know," I tell him just what's going through my head, "I'm not ready, James."

He leaves his hands on my waist and I can almost cry over it.

You don't even understand yourself, Thea!

"It's okay" he whispers with his lips on my shoulder, trying to calm down.

I pull away to look into his eyes.

"Is it really all right?" I ask softly, "Are you okay with this?"

"Shit, no," he rests his forehead on mine and looks at me closely, "I can't lie to you and say I'm okay with it because I'm not. I'm in pain from wanting you so much and I want to fuck you like crazy... But I respect you, Thea. And if you're not ready yet, I'll force myself to be okay with it until you want to do it."

"Y-yes?" I ask in a trembling voice.

"Yes, but.." he hesitates a little and whispers a soft "Fuck it!" Then he continues speaking: "I'm not a nice guy, let alone a saint. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not, so I'm going to tell you just what's going on in my head. You want me to tell you?" I nod. "I'm thinking it's okay, I can wait as long as you want, but.... Shit... I need to see you fall apart for me."

"You... what?"

God of crackers, he's speaking in another language because I didn't understand his last words.

"We can do other things" he says cautiously. "You'll like it, I promise."

What?

"And h-how do you know h-how do you know i'll like it?"

"Are you wet?" He asks with a wolfish grin.

"Wet? What do you mean, wet? What? Where?"

What kind of dumb question is that?

My breath catches in my throat as he brings a hand between us and presses it to my center.

"Like here," he whispers against my lips. "Yes or no?"

Holy Macarena... what are he doing to me?

I nod, and immediately his smile turns into an arrogant one.

"You'll love what I'm going to do to you," he looks into my eyes. "I promise."

I stand still as he lowers me to the floor and unbuttons my jeans to pull them down without any inconvenience. Then he carries me again and carries me to the bed and settles me on it. My legs are on the outside and then he kneels on the floor, right between my legs.

"W-what do you do?" I ask in a trembling voice as soft kisses are left on my thighs.

He ignores my question.

"Do you trust me?" I place my elbows on the bed so I can look at him better. "Do you trust me, Thea?" He asks again. I nod immediately. "Can I take them off?" He holds the elastic of my panties between his fingers. I go completely blank, not knowing what to say. "May I, Thea?" He insists gently.

What would Diane do at a time like this, Thea?

Oh, come on, forget it!

You think, Thea! Think, think, think, think!

Oh my God, I don't know what to say to him!

Is it even legal to name God at a time like this?

Thea, honestly, how barbaric you're becoming!

"Thea?" James asks, looking at me with pleading in his eyes and all I can do is nod.

He smiles and soon my panties are somewhere unknown in this room.

"Trust me," he whispers, depositing soft kisses on the inside of my thighs, anchoring his teeth gently.

I lie down on the bed and close my eyes because I like his lips on my skin. I've always liked him kissing me, of course, he's never kissed my thighs before, but....

"What are you doing, James!" I lift my back off the bed when his face buries itself between my thighs.

He lifts his head to look at me and I catch a glimpse of his tongue flicking out to lick his wet lips. Why is watching him do that hot? I'm losing my mind!

"You'll love it, I promise" and before I can reply, his face buries itself between my legs again.

Holy Macarena!

And that night, James watches me fall apart for him.