Resolve

A tragedy...

How could Mira forget.

She started to truly muster the courage to approach Eugine only when they entered the university. Before that, Mira could only watch him from afar, stealing glances occasionally but too afraid to talk to him.

She finally remembered it. A tragedy that changed Eugine fundamentally. Mira's heart started to beat fast. That's right... A few months before they graduated, Eugine didn't go to school for a week. After he came back, he became even more quiet. He was originally already an aloof person, but after that week he became more distanced from the others.

From then on, Eugine became occasionally absent from school. The teachers didn't look for him and they also didn't bother him that much about his absences because he still maintained his good grades.

That tragedy.. It's not only one. You could say it was a series of misfortune.

Maybe because Mira wasn't directly involved with Eugine yet that those events didn't stuck to her memory well but Mira could remember them now. She remembered today's date.

At the winter of this year, Eugine's older brother would get into an accident and unfortunately die... And a month after that, his father would follow after a few weeks of suffering from a terminal cancer.

Losing two beloved family members in the span of a month... Even the strongest person would collapse. Mira remembered the pain she felt when her own mother died. She felt as if her heart was being ripped apart. She shuddered when she imagined the pain Eugine would have felt.

"Mira? Are you asleep?"

Mira found herself looking at Eugine.

She realized that Eugine might be right. The him right now... She might not really know him.

The Eugine she knew is someone who was cold, practical, decisive and was hardened by the cruelty of life. The Eugine beside her was not that kind of person.

But if Mira acknowledges that...

If he was not the Han Eugine that she knew... Then who was it that she's longing and at the same time resenting for?

What was she doing then?

Mira felt her resolve crumbling.

She didn't want to deal with this. She wanted to stop thinking.

Despite not receiving an answer to his first question, Eugine didn't mind. He leaned his head against the counter and looked at the time. They didn't realized it while they were playing the game but it's already 9:00 pm. His stomach suddenly grumbled.

He looked at his side to see Mira looking at him intensely.

"Im hungry." He said as if explaining.

Mira pursed her lips while still deep in her thoughts, before opening her bag and rummaging through it. Her hand came out with a pack of crackers with seaweed flavor.

"Jamie gave it to me at lunch, saying she bought too much of it. I was full so I just put it in my bag." She explained.

Mira opened the biscuit pack to see that there are four individual packs inside a plastic case which she assumed was there to prevent the biscuits from being crushed. She gave the two to Eugine.

"You sure?" Eugine asked before taking the biscuits.

Mira nodded.

They ate in silence. Only the sounds of biscuits being munched on can be heard.

While eating, Mira was quiet once again. She looked calm outside but her mind was a mess and her heart was in turmoil.

Once they were done eating, Mira leaned against the counter and closed her eyes. Eugine didn't bother her thinking that she was already sleepy. It was already close to 10:00 pm. Eugine did the same thing ang closed his eyes.

Mira was not sleeping though. She was thinking deeply, contemplating about her choices. About 30 minutes later, she opened her eyes and looked at the sleeping figure of Eugine.

He may not be the same Eugine, but Mira could still remember the future she led.

She won't let the same thing happen in this life.

She swore that she would be happy no matter what. That was her first priority.

Eugine...

She wouldn't hate and resent the him right now, because he doesn't deserve it. Just because she knew what would he become like doesn't give her the excuse to be unreasonable. But despite that, Mira wouldn't just forget the life she knew. No. She could never forget even if she wanted to. But she wouldn't be controlled by it. Mira doesn't want to live a life with a heavy heart.

The future was like a water and changeable. It is not fixed in stone. The choices you make today makes a difference in your tomorrow.

While looking at the sleeping Eugine, Mira made a choice.

To avoid the future that she knew, she wouldn't pine for him. Wouldn't love him to the point that she lost herself. She would not make the same mistake.

But she wouldn't also let him become the same cold person that she knew. She wouldn't abandon him to the future that cruel.

Mira smiled bitterly and sadly.

This might be the best.

She wouldn't chase him. She would be content by just being friends.

No matter how much her heart yearns for him, nothing will change.

She refused to have the same ending.