Noh-Noh-Noh, the Potatowned Potatohead must die and can we just skip to the part where the MC is alive and what the hell is this rando doing here

"Can we just get to the point where Ramza's not dead and is already back in action?", Neunji asked.

"Sure!"

*ziiiiip!*

"Hey, I'm Ramza, nice to meet you and I'm not dead. Let's finish the story now!"

*record scratch*

Haha, NOPE. You think I'm that stupid to rush it, Potatowned?

*ziiiiiip!*

"Beeeeehhhh!", the queen and the princesses all stick their tongues out.

"Mary Sue-loving cock sucking sonnuva bitch!", Soyi said while flipping the bird.

"Back to the story!", Arkram added.

Are you afraid to die?

...Well, are you?

You must be so afraid to die....

So, so, soooooo afraid... and the more you live, the more you fear it because it just happens in a snap.

I can probably kill you from this screen while you're reading. I can come to your sleep and kill you.

I can put you in a cabin with a ghost that chases you around to death.

I can be the clown with a chainsaw in hand beside your bed at 3:12 am.

Or maybe put you in a bathroom underground and leave you with no lights, screaming your lungs out until they give out?

Hell, why don't you die sucking on deez nuts?

Or maybe... I did it for the lulz.

I did it for the lulz.

I did it for the lulz.

...Gotcha. HAHA!

Candyman... Candyman... Candyman... Candyman... Candyman...!

If you're so tough behind that keyboard of yours criticizing everything because it gives you so much pleasure that it leads to premature ejaculation, tell me what death is beyond the scientific basis.

Am I a dream demon...? Nawgh... I'm not a demon. I'm not God. You don't even believe in God, do you? Even if you say otherwise, you're filth like me.

IN GOD WE TRUST! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

FOR THE LAND OF THE FREEEEE-YEEEEE

AND THE HOME OF THE BREEE-EEEEYV!

*record scratch!*

Wait a minute. That ain't right. From the top!

FOR THE LAND OF THE YEEE-YEEEEEEEE!

NOT THE YEE-YEE ASS BRAAAAAVE!

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FREEDOM AND BRAVERY.

YOU'RE NOT FREE. YOU'RE NOT BRAVE.

ONLY THE DEAD ARE FREE AND BRAVE.

Hey.

Where are you going?

Come back, precious. We're not done reading yet. It's just getting started.

...You're no fun.

bloop

bloop

bloop

I don't want to set the world on fire~

bloop

bloop

bloop

...Are you getting scared?

Bwahahaha.....!

Why so scared now? I'm just a voice in your head.

What makes you think though that you can run from me? This is what you want, right? Rush it by killing the idiots?

They already want to die, but death soooo eludes them.

It won't come to them....

...but it will come to you. :D

Yes, it will.

Yes, it will.

Nuke 'em.

Nuke 'em.

NUKE 'EM!

NUCLEAR WAR, BAYBAAAAAAAY!!!! BINDING BLAZE, MOTHA'FUCKAAAAA!!!

I... am Death....