Chapter 25 - Lola

It has been a week and i still can't bring myself together to talk about our wedding. I know it's a week away but i just can't stop thinking about what could have happened. What if there is a new branch he wants to open somewhere else would he behave the same way? or if some other lunatic decides they want to revenge for some mafia reason will he have to put himself in harms way again? It was too much to process. "Hey there. Who are you hiding from?", Xavier said joining me in the backyard. I released a breath while smiling at him. "Am not hiding Xavier, am just thinking", i replied taking a sip of wine. He looked at me knowingly, "Lola, you are like a daughter to me and am so happy that Xander met you when he did. You both needed each other", he said looking at the garden. "I think am the lucky one", i said with a nervous laugh. It was clear that he could sense my frustrations. "Lola, do you still want to marry him?", he asked looking at me in the eye, i couldn't find words to say. "I wont tell him, if that is what you are thinking", he added. "Honestly, i don't know Xavier, am scared", i said knowing very well that worry was all over my voice. "What are you scared about Lola?", he asked. "Loosing him...loosing us. What if he wants to expand to another country? will he ghost me for months just because am a distraction? or if someone is kidnapped will he put his life at risk again? will he survive or...", i was crying at this point not knowing how to continue but i just knew that i needed to tell someone and since Xavier was a good listener i just let it out.

He stood up and came to sit next to me pulling me in a hug as i sobbed. "Lola, i lost my wife because of someone that i did business with and before i met Amanda i thought i would never move on. I know how being scared of loosing someone feels, i know how loosing someone who means the whole world to you feels. It always comes down to what your heart is telling you. Do you love Alexander?", he said looking at me in the eyes when i was done soaking his shirt with tears. "I love him so much it hurts", i said in between hiccups. "Then there is no reason for you to think the worse of this marriage because this is what both of you want. This is what both of you need. As much as he tries to pretend that this delay is not killing him, it is but, do you know why he is not pressuring you?", he asked and i honestly did not know. Xander hasn't talked about the wedding since the last time we had a fight and alot has happened that i thought he was just remaining quiet because he had alot to do. "I don't know Xavier", i replied feeling a tear running down my cheek and him whipping it away, he had a smile on his face. "He has hope. Hope that you will look past this and allow your happily ever after to happen. Hope that you will trust him with your life, trust that he will always come back to you. Lola i need you to have the same hope. Am not saying that what you fear will not happen but you need to believe that he will come back to you because as much as you care about your family with him, he also cares about the people he works with because they are his family too", his words meant so much to me. They made me realise that this was bigger than me. All i needed to do is be there for him and trust him. "W-would you walk me down the aisle?", i asked him with a smile. Well i hoped that he would not be surprised because i didn't have anyone. Hi face lit up, "Are you sure?", he asked with doubt. "Yes, why wouldn't i be?", i asked making him smile like a kid in a candy store. "It will be an honour", he said pulling me in a hug. We felt someone else joining making it a group hug and by the sniffing i knew Amanda was eavesdropping. "I love you guys", she said making us laugh. "We love you too", Xavier said then kissed the both of us on the forehead pulling Amanda to his lap.

"Now that am done messing up my make up, can we go and get the wedding dress?", she said making me nod my head. "Great! Baby, you are coming with us", she said pulling Xavier to the parking space. We reached one of her best friend's boutique that was full of amazing dresses, no wonder she always looked like a model. "This is she? Gosh she has curves for days", the old lady said as we walked in making me giggle. "Do your magic Fairy godmother", Amanda said as they sat at the viewing sofa with her head resting on Xavier's shoulder. The lady took me to the back where there were like ten wedding dresses but only one caught my eye, it was nude and body hugging. "I want that one please", i said making her smile. "I knew it was the one, that is why i hung it first in line", she said handing it over to me. I went to the changing room and tried it on and it was just perfect. Yap, i was not going to be an ordinary bride after all. I walked out slowly to where Amanda and Xavier were sitting. They were busy talking about the wedding location. "Guys, what do you think?", i asked making them smile. "That is the one. OMG! Xander is going to go nuts", Amanda said with a huge smile while Xavier stood and walked towards me, taking my hands into his. "You look absolutely beautiful Lola. Xander is going to freak out indeed", he finished making Amanda laugh.