The Green-Eyed Visitor
The old man Em Jay sat at his sleek modern desk, the sun setting down. The city outside began to slow its pace, while his apartment, as usual, remained quiet and reflective. As he opened his laptop, a faint sense of melancholy washed over him. Today, he decided, he would share a contemplation that once shadowed his life: jealousy.
Greetings to all my dear readers,
Comparison can be beneficial at times, providing motivation and perspective.
However, too much comparison often leads to jealousy, which is far from healthy.
Living in jealousy isn't motivating; it creates a discomfort deep inside us that can grow into hate.
Why do I want to share this?
The green-eyed monster doesn't give privilege to older folks like me.
The people around us, especially those who cheer with us now and then—our gossip acquaintances—from time to time will put on the table a comparison. Comparing one achievement with another's.
It could be fun at times. Yet, the emotions that feed during the conversation can lead to jealousy.
When I was in my 40s, my business was doing quite well. But somehow, I didn't feel like it was a success worth celebrating.
Why?
Because people around me, my drinking buddies, kept injecting ideas that a friend of mine in the same field achieved more.
The comparisons at the beginning were just passing statements, but when they kept surfacing, I began to wonder: what made him so special? What made me so unfortunate? The attention he received made me feel uneasy. Praise for him was so irritating to me.
Bit by bit, a distance was created. Yes, I did work harder to prove I was capable. Yes, I did prove myself. I won.
To my surprise, the one who was supposed to be irritated seemed unaffected at all.
My drinking buddies, whom I felt were responsible, didn't bother much about my achievement either.
That made me realize: the struggle I was putting in was, in a way, positive, but there was shame inside me. I was the one being too sensitive, too inferior.
From then on, I made myself immune to comparing my achievements with others.
Until today, this is the first time I let it out openly.
In this old age, the same situation presented itself.
A folk like me got carried away with being jealous.
How do I know?
The gossip from his lips, the comparison, the kind of irritated face.
What do I do?
Nothing. Why?
To me, when a person is trapped by the green-eyed monster, no sound reason could free him until he himself hits the wall.
To me, jealousy is contagious, so in order to avoid being infected, I kept my distance.
To know one is immune to jealousy is when one is also immune to being gossiped about, bad-mouthed, or over-praised.
One is in control of one's life.
To anyone out there struggling with jealousy, know that it's a visitor you can choose not to entertain.
Celebrate your own path, and find joy in the success of others. True happiness lies in acceptance, not comparison.
Love,
The Old Man Em Jay
He saved the document, feeling the weight on his chest lift slightly. The visitor might return now and then, but Old Man Em Jay knew he had the strength to face it, to greet it with understanding rather than resentment.
As the city settled into the quiet of the night, he leaned back, a small smile playing on his lips. The journey of acceptance had firmed, and with it, a newfound peace that no visitor could take away.