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THE LOVE I MUST HATE

My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?

RosyKosy · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
13 Chs

WITHIN THE WALLS OF LOUIS NOBIS

POV: GABBY

 

I can't believe I agreed to meet Jeroita for Lisa. Honestly, I do. I could never say no to Lisa even when it means to face the girl I hate most.

With Lisa, I could be myself. She may not say a word or contribute to my too much talking, but she listens. She has never given me a reason to feel neglected or a body language I am disturbing. She endures and accommodates me.

Lisa and I joined Louis Nobis the same year; to elaborate, we came into the school the same day. Her parents accompanied her and me, my father, and four brothers.

From the school's large parking lot, I saw Lisa, and instantly saw our differences and compatibility. With quiet parents bringing her load from the trunk, I was circled by my noisy brothers and a father, repeating the words of goodbye they told me from the day Louis Nobis' letter of acceptance reached our mailbox.

Seeing Lisa struggling to lift her boxes, I urged two of my parrot brothers to assist a girl in need, and they hurried to her and pretended to be perfect gentlemen.

"Thank you," Lisa said, ignoring my brothers, who huffed and saddled back to the car.

Lisa's attitude and composure elevated my likeness for her, and I decided to stick to her until Louis Nobis evaporated.

We marched down to the hall like every other new student. In corners were seniors in their sister-like uniforms, standing and directing confused new students where to head.

"Your boxes look heavy," I said to Lisa.

She struggled to pull her boxes along, and too bad, I have no free hand to support her with.

"Tell me about it," she sighed. "They wanted even my spirit out of the house." She arched her eyebrows at her parents, who were still watching us.

I burst into laughter, and my sudden reaction brought everyone's eyes to me. I felt embarrassed for causing such hawking and gawking responses. I turned to Lisa with poor esteem to see if she was also affected by my laughter, only to see her smiling at me.

Her eyes were full of warmth and confidence. She didn't care about my outburst instead, she leaned closer and whispered.

"I also packed my ghost. I need this escape from them."

"Me too," I laughed but was cautious not to cause another attention, so I covered my mouth.

"Laugh all you want, …."

"Gabriella," I helped her out.

"Laugh all you want, Gabby. We are about to enter a corpse zone, and soon will turn to zombies like them." She gestured at the senior students.

I smiled. How humorous and warm-hearted of her. 

Lisa gave me the name Gabby. Everyone I tell my name always adopts the 'Ella' short form, but Lisa was the first to use 'Gabby.' I found it unique and better. So, I went with it and told anyone who cares to know my name that I am Gabby.

Lisa made me feel less lonely at Louis Nobis. She only didn't care for me, but she took in my loudness.

I have always been a loud person. You can say this is an outcome of growing up amidst five men; whatever the reason is, I do not know how to act as soft as normal girls.

Well, I learned how to act soft the hard way. Jeriota taught me hard. Like they said, everyone has a secret; mine is deeper than an ocean.

A lot has been going on in my life, and coming to Louis Nobis and the terrible encounter with Jeriota added to my messed life.

Jeriota is a classmate. She also started the school year with me. However, Jeriota and I were never friends. It is hard to explain why. I found her domineering, impenetrable, and rigid. There is no warmth around her, and I avoid her like a plague.

Despite my free-spirited self, I couldn't stand Jeriota. She breathes annoyance and pollutes the air; everything around her is moody. Okay, I do not hate her, but I do not like her.

My impression of her worsened in our senior year. After she was made the Study prefect, her bad aura tripled. Her arrogance multiplied and I sweat having her in the same class with me.

Excluding her irritating personality, I must confess she is academically rich. She is at the top of the class after Pamela, the Head prefect.

The Study function suited her. There is nothing she connects with other than her books.  Her books are the only thing that can stand her attitude and of course, her reading glasses.

I couldn't stand anything about her especially when she steal glances at me and only to throw her face away when I looked at her.

"She did it again," I complained to Lisa who I told about Jeroita's glancing ordeal.

"Befriend her already and quit disturbing my peace." Lisa would say.

No! I would never befriend such a rock.

Jeriota doesn't scare me; she only makes me oddly nervous. I hate how we are agemates and yet, I feel I should crawl into a hole at her presence. No, I wish I had the power to beat her up.

No matter what I feel and wish, Jeriota looks challenging and unexplainable.

And Lisa pleading I meet Jeriota for the class key is more challenging.

"How bold of you," Jeriota said as I asked for the key.

I am not so bold with Jeriota. She has tamed me that I see her more than a classmate now.

Tame me? Yes, she did.

"Please," I pleaded. "I promised Lisa to get it."

"Lisa?" She frowned.

I know that look. Jeriota has made it clear she doesn't want me near Lisa. She believed Lisa and me to be closer than she could understand.

"Yes."

"You," she came to my face. "Is it your wish to upset me now?"

"I only need the key. Let me have it, and I will go."

"You believe you could get it out of me." She stepped backward, tucked on her reading glasses, and corked her lips into that half smile that makes her look creepy. "You are right to believe so." She added.

Before you conclude how easy it was for me to get the key, hear Jeriota's next speech. If I know this domineering demon, she will demand I get down on her tonight for the key.

"But," she started. "You must pay a price, and I think you know just how."

"Not tonight."

"You do not get to decide. You come to me when I say so, Gabby."

I swallowed the pain and nodded. I knew it would end to that. I wasn't surprised.

I took the key to the happy Lisa. Receiving Lisa's hug and hearing her appreciation mended a bit, the hurt of becoming Jeriota's call girl.

After dinner, I headed to our hideout to wait for Jeriota. Well, it was my hideout before the demon took it from me.

I found the hideout to ease my stress. I am hypersensitive, there is no explanation for how I came to be, but once I am stressed, angry, or anxious, I relax only by reaching orgasms.

This part of my life began three years ago. Dealing with five men at home as both a mother and sister was tough. No, I wasn't seen as the princess among the knights. I was pushed to grow up quickly and pick up the role of a home keeper.

When my stress dilemma started, I tried to do all sorts of things to relax — played music, danced, saw a movie, read a book, and even slept. None of these helped until I read about how sex reduces stress. Not just sex but reaching orgasms.

As a virgin, I have no one to have sex with. So I read more on ways of reaching orgasms, and I discovered touching oneself isn't only the fastest, but cheapest.

Without any knowledge of masturbation, I took to adult sites, and with a few videos, I mastered how to revive myself.

Coming to Louis Nobis and meeting the high maintenance and standard fits, I fell back to stress. 

I see no one diminishing like I was doing; everyone seemed to be adapting to living in the middle of a forest with bells everywhere to direct our daily actions; they all looked fine, which drove me crazy.

I tried to hold in. I tried not to commit my masturbation in a place so religious, but when the stress took a better hold of me, I searched and found an abandoned school store to touch myself to relaxation.

Then a few weeks ago, on my usual moment of reaching orgasms, Jeriota walked in on me, shocking me to the bones.

"Why did you stop?" She smirked.

I pulled my underwear to my butt and stood speechless and scared. I was because I did not know what a person like Jeriota would do.

"I asked why you stopped." She repeated.

"I…"

Suddenly, she pushed me down to the sacs on the floor, lifted my gown, and took off my underwear.

"Jeriota…What are you doing?"

"You will like this better," she whispered.