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THE LOVE I MUST HATE

My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?

RosyKosy · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
13 Chs

COSTLY FEELINGS II

I haven't been alone with Uriel. Any time we are together, there are students at reach or cameras hanging around to record us.

It is Saturday and there won't be working cameras in class. If there is, I know a perfect class with a broken camera. Mine. And Uriel hasn't been in it. It could be her showing me something and I, showing her my class and desk. Oh dear! It feels like a date.

Gabby brought the key for me and I ran to class. The classroom building is quite a walk from the hostels. The reason for building hostels far from classroom blocks is best known to the Reverends.

On reaching the building, I met Uriel sitting on the stairs with a bag folded to her chest.

"Uriel?"

"Senior Lisa…" She stood up at once and climbed down the stairs to me.

"You…" I lifted her face. "Were you crying?"

"No," she wiped her tears, shaking her head along.

"You were crying, Uriel. Did something happen?"

"I waited for you," she snorted. "I thought you forgot."

"How could I?" I took her hand. "Jeriota is stricter than I thought."

"Did you succeed?"

"What do you think?" I waggled the key in her face and she smiled.

We climbed the stairs to the door. I keyed into the padlock with Uriel's hand wrapped over me.

"I was scared," Uriel whispered and I stopped opening the padlock to look at her. "While waiting for you, I was scared." She repeated.

I understand. The Reverends have the school and convent built in the middle of a forest, leaving everywhere oddly silent and dangerous.

We are not only exposed to wild animals but there is also the possibility of intruders invading the school one day. We have no male security or armed personnel, but only faith in Holy Mary for safety.

I was also scared running down to the building. At that point, I didn't think of Uriel's safety. I was only occupied with meeting up with her and having the night with her.

I am so ashamed of myself.

"I am sorry," I apologized.

"It is okay. You are here now. I feel safe."

"Hmm…"

Uriel has a cute way of using words on me. Saying she feels safe in my presence, boosted my credibility and importance.

I took us into the building and led Uriel into my classroom.

"This is where you sit to learn," she smiled boldly as she explored every nook and cranny.

"Yes."

"Which one of these is your desk?"

"Take a guess…"

"If I get it right, what would you give me?"

A kiss.

"What? No!" I screamed against my thoughts.

"Senior Lisa?"

I had screamed loud to Uriel's confusion.

"I mean you can't possibly get it right." I lied.

"I am good at guessing games, senior Lisa and if I am that good, I would say with your stubborn personality you are among the back sitters."

"Stubborn?" I chuckled.

"But because you are also jovial and caring, you wouldn't want to be with seniors like Jeroita."

I laughed out so loud that my voice echoed everywhere.

"So, where do you think this stubborn, jovial, and caring senior is occupying?"

"There!"

She pointed to my seat and I stood stunned to my bone marrow.

"From your look, I believe to be correct," she clapped.

"How did you?"

"Because you are Senior Lisa, I feel everything about you."

"What?" I whispered.

Her sudden words left my heart pounding and vibrating.

"I know everything about you!"

No, she said 'feel.' I want to hear the word again.

"You…"

"Can I show you what I have for you now?"

Her question cut me off and helplessly, I withdrew from adding meaning to a mere word.

"You can."

"I have to dress up for it," she tapped the bag she had been holding.

"A costume?"

"Beautiful one."

Her expression changed as she said the beauty word and suddenly, the light bulb shone across her face and I became nervous about whatever Uriel had for me.

"Do you need help?" I asked after minutes of savoring the moment.

"I got this," she lifted her bag and headed to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To dress up, Lisa."

"Lisa?" I was surprised but Uriel smiled and walked out of the door.

Lisa? Uriel called me by my first name? Holy Mary! Why does this feel wildly intimate?