Therapy

The solution for Mei lied in the [Nostalgic Room], with its ability to heal mental and physical wounds. He had also helped with Yan's instability using that skill, too.

But could he transform into Sophie now, in front of Mei? Asher didn't want to reveal himself, even to her, so he decided on a compromise.

"Mei, I have to leave to do something overnight, okay?"

Mei stiffened, feeling betrayed by his sudden departure. She weakly embraced him.

"Don't die, okay? I don't think I could live another day if you did." Mei said that with such honesty that it only sealed Asher's decision.

Asher stood up, leaving Mei to her own miseries as he closed the door behind him.

Immediately, he synchronized with Sophie.

But he waited a few minutes longer, judging when it would be appropriate to knock.

*Knock Knock*

The air stilled as Mei stopped crying. A knock at night...

"Are you in there, Mei? It's me, Sophie."

A slight pause, and a shuffle toward the door. Mei greeted him, with as cheerful of a mask as ever.

"Hey, Sophie! Haven't seen you in a while!"

Mei pulled him inside, where she immediately began to ask him questions.

"So, how are things going with Asher? Why are you here so late? How's the Office? Are you-"

Asher stopped her with an outstretched palm.

"Asher and I are both doing great. But we're worried about you, Mei."

Mei attempted to wear an even thicker mask, curving her lips into an even wider smile to hide her emotions. But Sophie stared at her until the fragile glass casing shattered. The beginning of the breakdown was hinted with a tremble of the lip.

"T-Thank you dear, but you have no clue how I feel... Bell... She was Bell! A-And I failed her! Now even Alicia's gone, she won't be remembered by anyone except for me! How she smiled, how she laughed... How she was my best friend!"

Asher clenched her hand in his.

"But I do know, Mei. I know that pain."

Mei stared at him, red eyed. She didn't believe him, but she was just barely tactful enough to not deny it outright.

Sophie stared listlessly at her fingernails. A wonderful performance by Asher. Unbeknownst to him, he had become quite a good actor.

This time, it was Mei's turn to squeeze Sophie's hand as the girl seemingly also had some pain in her heart.

But the words that left Sophie's mouth were not what Asher had in plan.

"I lost my mum when I was six. She was... used. U-Until-"

Oh shoot. Asher tried to reign in Sophie's memories, but it was too late. Sophie's eyes leaked crystalline blood.

He could have forcibly stopped her, but perhaps he wanted to see how things played out. Perhaps it would strengthen Mei's bond with Sophie and make his job easier.

And Asher also learned something new about her. What a pitiful life she had led. Only six years old when her life fell apart.

Mei, being a kind person at heart, put aside her own pain for now. She pulled Sophie into her embrace, disregarding her ruined nightgown as it soaked in Sophie's blood.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have said that..." Mei cooed mindlessly as the girl sniffled in her arms.

Finally, as the final nail in the coffin, Asher said what he originally planned to.

"A-And now Asher doesn't remember me anymore... He doesn't remember what we had before, now he has amnesia..." This time, the tears from his eyes were crystal clear, a mere act. The croak in his voice, the flutter of his eyelashes. An act.

...Asher felt kind of dirty for doing this to Mei, but in actuality, this cheap trick had many uses. A stronger and more 'real' connection with his other self, a stronger bond with Mei through shared hardship.

And a seal on his destiny. Now, even death would be preferable over revealing his identities. But was that necessarily a good thing?

Though there was no time to regret. He had gone with the flow of the mood.

Mei's eyes shone as she saw the true extent of pain in the girl's small body. The trembling arms and quivering pink lips... She felt a deeper connection with Sophie, who perhaps went through even more hardship than she did.

Asher's manipulative plan was working.

"But Sophie, don't you need to go home? It's night..."

"I don't have parents, so I don't think anyone'll care if I stay here? Asher told me he had to do something tonight."

Mei wanted to comfort the pitiful girl, so she pulled her into her chest.

"Of course..." In reality, she also was feeling lonely from Asher's absence, even if she treated him so harshly when he tried to comfort her. She still didn't know what came over her when she rejected him like that.

Her mind was kept busy, as her less happy thoughts were replaced with the thought of comforting Sophie.

"Can I use your shower?"

Sophie played with her fingers and the hem of her dress. No longer did Asher know if he was acting or if his actions were affected by Sophie's fused personality.

Mei smiled, immediately heading to the bedroom to prepare some clothes for him.

As Mei busied with her preparations, Asher stripped the clothes off himself.

Herself? Themselves?

'Eh, doesn't really matter.' He had long since considered Sophie as another extension of himself, the only difference being a slight- no, quite noticeable shift in personality and different memories. But otherwise, she was simply him.

Though, the same could not be said for the other way around.

But as Sophie's bare body stared back at him in the reflection, Asher found himself admiring her near transcendental beauty.

Glossy skin as white as milky cream, palish blue eyes that sparkled like rare diamonds.

Her figure, petite and slim while bound in cloth, hid curves and softness that revealed themselves noticeably when unbound.

Aiko's crush on her was not unfounded, even persisting after the incident with the Fragment's melody. Sophie's monstrous transformation only made her presence more mysterious, and thus more attractive in a way.

Of course, Asher's admiration of Sophie's body was not of the same species of emotion as Aiko's. He took a second to make a 'V' symbol with his hands, attempting a bright smile.

The hand gesture was made, but Sophie's mouth only twitched.

Asher, slightly disappointed at the lack of emotive movement, turned toward the shower and flicked it on.

The space inside was surprisingly large for him, as his body barely covered a third of the area.

He plopped down on the floor as water ran down his face, enjoying the sensation of water pooling around his pale legs.

*Knock Knock*

The door swung open before he could say anything.

"Sophie, do you wanna- eh, what are you doing on the ground like that??"

Asher muttered softly, standing up from the comfortably cold tiles.

"What do I have the option of wanting?" Odd word choice, but hey, Sophie's choice.

"Wanna take a shower together?"

"I-If you want to...?" Asher hastily covered his eyes as Mei took off her clothes in front of him. Mei was not the same as Sophie; he might not be affected by the sight now, but how would he feel when he desynchronized?

The next few minutes were pure bliss, as well as pure torture. Being in Sophie's form, he wasn't affected by Mei's bare body all that much. So half of him enjoyed the feeling of Mei's fingers running along his scalp and back, tickling his skin.

The other half was praying to whatever deity existed in this world. Because when he desynchronized, Sophie's personality would disappear, but the memories would stay.

Though in reality, he would feel nothing when he transformed back. After all, she was his mother, the person that 'adopted' him from the streets.

And he loved her for that. But it was no romantic love.

...

Mei let out a breath, revealing a genuine smile, the first in quite a while.

"That was fun, wasn't it, dear?"

Asher nodded his head. It was fun.

They were lying on the bed, side by side, with matching linen pajamas as well. The lights were closed, and they breathed quietly in the dark.

"Good n-"

Asher interrupted Mei before she could finish her sentence, because if she did, she would only revert back to thinking about Bellecote. Not yet.

He distracted her with a hug, worming his way into her blanket.

"Aww, cute kid... Bell's daughter would've-" She froze.

But before the breakdown could start again, Asher mumbled under his breath.

"[Nostalgic Room]!"

And the world faded to black.

Time for therapy, Sophie style.

...

Mei opened her eyes to the scent of roast goose, a blazing fireplace, and pine chairs. A strangely nostalgic view.

Looking down, she found herself on one of the chairs lining the table. A table filled with an awe-inspiring feast. Dozens of roast meats, plates loaded with potatoes, bowls of steaming gravy...

Not the types of dishes she would normally eat, but she somehow knew the taste of every single one of them.

And she couldn't wait to start.

She began with a plate of-

"...Mei?"

Twisting her head at the sudden noise, she found a familiar figure sitting beside her, wreathed in shadows. As the shadows cleared, her face drained of blood.

"B-Bell?!"

The woman screamed, crashing to the ground with a thud. She stared at her hands in horror.

How could she eat, when Bellecote was dead? How could she relax, when Bellecote was dead?

A terrible dream, a terrible nightmare. Her body subconsciously relaxed, but her brain forcibly filled her body with misery.

She had almost forgotten that Bellecote was dead. They promised each other... Nothing mattered now. Not even that.

How could she feel happy when Bellecote was dead? How could she feel happy when Bellecote was dead? How could she feel happy when Bellecote was dead?

I cannot.

I claw at my skin.

I tear past it like pap-

"Mei, Mei!" The woman's reverie was broken by two pale arms wrapping around her. Even in her dreams, Bellecote was the nicest person she had ever known.

"Bell, why are you here? You're dead..."

"I'm not-" But the figure paused, thoughts flashing through her eyes. She seemed to come to a conclusion.

"Talk to me, Mei. You can talk to me. What's on your mind?"

...

Mei positioned her body, nearly gluing her body to the familiar figure. She whispered in Bellecote's ear, her voice listless, dead.

"Don't you hate me now?"

Bell tilted her head.

Mei continued.

"I could have saved you if I noticed earlier... I left you behind. I should have died back then, not you."

Mei looked at Bell, but she only stared back at her.

"Do you truly think I hate you?"

"Of c-" Mei looked down, rethinking her true feelings. Right, she knew that Bellecote was not the type of person to hold a grudge on her, even for her own death.

And so Mei's actual feelings were revealed.

"I hate myself. I hate how I was too late to notice something was wrong, how I ran away and left you to die. I want to die instead, even if it won't bring you back. I just want to kill myself, to ease this acid in my heart."

A period of silence passed.

Mei blinked as Bellecote handed her a plate of mashed potatoes. It was a comedic situation, replying to such a manic monologue with a plate of mashed potatoes.

She nearly laughed despite herself, letting out a strangled cough from her throat.

"How can you be so carefree? You're dead now; your daughter is dead too. Everything you have is gone... How can we be eating this?"

Bellecote reached out to Mei, sealing her mouth with a spoonful of mashed potatoes.

"I regret a lot of things, sure, and I didn't want to die that early either. But it happened, and none of us can change that. And..."

Mei swallowed what was left in her mouth. Seeing as Bell still had more to say, she reached for a second helping. The food calmed her soul, for lack of a better term.

The figure smiled.

"Think about what will happen if you kill yourself, Mei. Think about Asher and Sophie, how would they feel? Would they feel the same as you right now, wishing to end everything as well?"

Mei hesitated slightly. In the heat of the moment, she said that she wanted to kill herself. But her son, Asher... Sophie wouldn't care about her death, surely. And how could Bell know Sophie?

"...Sophie wouldn't care if I died, would she? Wait, how do you know Asher and Soph- oh, this is just a dream."

Bell continued, like she didn't hear what she said. But a light behind her eyes told Mei that she heard everything.

"I regret it. I regret that I died. I lost all this time which I could have spent with Alicia, after all. But you're still alive, Mei. Don't you want to spend more time with Asher? Don't you want to see how he grows up?"

Mei's lips twitched as she thought about the boy she adopted. She did.

Bellecote looked at her hopefully.

"So, can't you enjoy the life that you have, for my sake?"

Mei trembled as she heard the words her mind so desperately needed.

For her sake.

...

I can manage that.

I might be sad.

I might feel like nothing is alright.

I might feel like only death can heal my pain.

But I look around me.

And I find some that would miss me dearly.

If I disappeared.

So I hug the figure in my dreams.

My last chance to say goodbye.

The goodbye I couldn't say in real life.

I wrap my arms around her.

One last time.

I pull away-

No.

Two last times.

I pull away-

No.

Three last times.

I realize something.

I don't want to let go.

fourfivesixseveneight-

please, thirty more minutes.

I wail and babble like a child.

please, thirty more minutes.

I clutch the hem of her dress.

please, thirty more minutes.

I repeat myself, whispering.

She smiles and complies.

Opening her arms.

I sank into her warm embrace.

I think I cried.

I think she cried, too.

Thirty minutes passed.

And I think I can do it.

I am sure I can do it.

I must do it.

I let go.

The world shatters.

Into fragments of rippling light.

The last time I will see her.

Is this moment.

As her smile breaks apart.

Into that same fragmenting light.

But it's alright.

My tears may hold regret.

And my breaths may hitch in pain.

But not sadness.

Because I know she still lives.

In my heart.

I smile.