61:Nightmares

(Nathan POV)

I entered the platform before the siblings and my sister. I placed my trolley to a side and waited for them. First came in the sister and following was the little brother. They looked surprised. It was a usual response. Shortly after sis also entered the platform through the wall. I took my trolley and waved at them. They all spotted me and waved back. I walked slowly towards them. Aug was looking at the roof while walking. Suddenly he bumped his foot and fell.

"Hey, look out." I shouted and jumped towards the kid. I wanted to catch him before his head hit the ground.

(Just a little further.)

My hand touched his head and I caught him in my embrace.

"OOHHH thank God. Are you hurt anywhere." I asked

"Big brother Nathan." Aug spoke

(What the hell. I thought he wasn't able to speak then how did he say that.)

"Big brother Nathan." This time he pulled at my hoodie.

"What is it." I put the thought In the back of my mind for the time being.

"Why did you do it?"

"I caught you so...…. You would not get hurt I guess." I was confused.

"Why did you do it." He said again.

"Did I not just tell you. Are you okay?" Now I was more concerned than being confused.

"Why did you do it." He said it one more time.

(Is this kid pulling a prank on me.)

"Why did I do what?" I still asked him.

That was when he raised his head and looked me into the eyes.

"Why did you kill me." His mouth did not even move. It was just a voice coming from him.

My mind went blank and I forgot to breathe. His face was emotionless. And emotions were not the only thing it was missing. He was lacking every feature of his face. In my lapse was just a corpse. It had no eyeballs and blood was gushing out in the form of tears. It rose its hand and tried to grab my face.

"AAAHHHH" I let go of the corpse on impulse and it fell down.

My breathing was getting heavier and I could not understand what was going on.

"Why did you do it." This time the voice came from behind. I turned around and saw none other than sis. She was wearing the same clothes as moments ago but now they looked decades old. Her appearance was the same as that of Aug. Blood was gushing out of her nostrils and eyeball sockets. All the features on her face were gone. She had no hair. On her body. she was walking slowly...…. More like dragging her feet towards me all while mouthing the same words again and again.

"Why did you do it? Why did you kill me?"

"Sis what happened to you sis." I was scared. My legs were trembling and my hands were getting numb.

"What happened to me. It's what you did to me brother. Did you not love me." Her mouth did not move as well.

"I DID NOT DO ANYTHING." I shouted at her in fear.

With those words, she stopped walking.

"But brother look around you. It was you who did all this." She slowly raised her hands and spread them.

I immediately looked around and I was simply horrified. The scene around me was nothing short of a warzone. Countless bodies were laying here and there. The floor was dyed red from blood. There was a full moon in the sky but it also had a reddish hue to it and it was way bigger than usual. But at that time I did not have the luxury to admire the red moon because all the corpses started to get up saying the same thing.

"Why did you do it."

"Why did you do it."

"Why did you do it."

"Why did you do it."

All were in the same condition. Featureless. But somehow I knew who was who.

Breathing... something that every one did for every single second of their life, felt like the most difficult thing for me. There were new and there were old faces among the dead. I looked at a corpse and immediately I knew who it was.

"M-M-mom?" But the corpse only said one thing.

"Why did you do it."

"D-D-Dad"

"Why did you do it."

"Sis I did not do it."

"Why did you do it."

All my family members were there. And even some unexpected faces.

"Beatris?"

"Why did you do it."

"Hermione?"

"Why did you do it."

I was losing my mind. It was way too much for me at this point.

"I DID NOT DO IT." I shouted, "So JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Why did you do it."

"I SAID SHUT UP. I DID NOT KILL YOU PEOPLE." At this point, my legs gave in and I fell to the ground. "I did not do it." Tears started to fall from my eyes.

Everything fell silent. I was crying and it seemed like no one wanted to disturb me.

"I *HIC* did not *HIC* do it." I was sobbing.

"Then why are your hands like that."

"Huh?" I looked up and saw a face only centimeters away from mine.

All the corpses were now surrounding me. I looked at the corpse who was just standing there blankly and then my gaze fell on my hands. The moment my sight fell on them I felt like puking. My hands were like that of a butcher. There were stained in red. And a red none other than the red of blood.

"You did this to us." All the corpses said with a single echo-like voice. "It was your sword that killed us."

I was staring at my hands and the.... There were Aurora and Vespira in my hands. Their shining blades were now crimson red due to blood.

"See see. That's the proof. You killed us all." The corpses started to walk in circles around. They all held hands and started to spin around me like in a child's game.

"NO" I was losing my mind.

"You did this to us."

"NO NO"

"Nathaniel Morningstar you killed us all."

"NO NO NO"

And then it all vanished. All the blood was gone and all the corpses disappeared. In front of me were sis and Anna chatting happily while on my left Aug was sitting shyly not taking part in the conversation. We were all in our train compartment on our way to Hogwarts. What I faced was nothing more than a dream.

Even though it was just a dream it had a great impact on me. My body was drenched in sweat and my hands were shaking.

(No matter how many times. Although it is different every single time the concept is more or less the same. But I still can't get used to it.)

Yes! It was the truth. I was having these dreams frequently for the past few days. Even sis knew about it. These started from the day we tried to break the seal on my powers. Well, I should not say break because we did not break it but opened it. That was not the challenge instead the challenge was to control the overbearing power that resided inside of me. But I had failed miserably at that. It was a simple test of will. And I lost big time. The power started to gush out and take over. But sis was there so she quickly placed the seal back. But between my power running wild and sis being inexperienced in sealing magic, the seal became flawed. All the power it was supposed to seal, it turned out that it was a bit too much for it. So, it ruptured. Now the seal had a hole in it. The power was leaking bit by bit. That was causing these nightmares. That sealed power was kind of like another entity. He was another self of me. He was vile, arrogant, selfish, and violent. His only aim was to run rampant. And if I let down my guard, he would take over my body. He was formed from my darkest emotions and desires.

I took in a few breaths and tried to calm myself down. In a minute the trembling stopped. I looked up and saw that sis and Anna were still busy in their own conversations. I turned my head to look at Aug and surprisingly enough he was looking at me. Our eyes met and his voice reverberated in my head.

\Big brother..... are you okay. You look a little pale./

{A/N: I do not know if I have said it before or not but \/ will be used for ligilimency talking. You know what I mean.}

I was again surprised. I never thought that he would be able to sense that something was wrong.

"Yeah everything is alright you do not need to worry." I ruffled his hair.

He closed his eyes and ducked down. Then he opened them again and looked into my eyes.

\don't do that/

"HAHAHAHA okay I won't."

\Brother tell me if something is wrong. I can help you. Did you have a bad dream/ He said.

"Okay, I will. Just..... why are you calling me big brother. I am but one year older than you." It was not that I disliked it or anything. It just made me feel old.

\Sister Erica told us that we should call the people that are older than us with respect. That is why I am calling you Big Brother./

At this, my eyes opened so wide that I thought my eyeballs would fall off.

(This kid...… has such a nice heart and his eyes are so pure. Damn it. Why were you chosen by fate to be a wizard? This damn world is not made for you. I wish that you would have never been chosen.)

I clenched my fist in frustration as the events of my own life played in front of my eyes. I felt another tug on my shoulder. I looked towards Aug again and our eyes met.

\What happened. You do seem a bit frustrated. Tell me I will help you./

I do not know what came over me but I hugged that pure little kid and there was a single thought in my head.

(Don't worry I will protect you.)

|KUKUKUKU. Like you protected your mother.|

{A/N: '|' sign will be used when Nathan is having a conversation in his mind with his darker half}

I immediately let Aug go.

"I am sleepy so I will sleep a bit. You should talk with those two." I told Aug while pointing at the girls in front of me.

He looked at me and nodded. Then he turned his face away from me and towards the girls. I closed my eyes and placed my head on the wall.

|YOU will protect him. Oh please| The voice appeared in my head again.

|Shut up|

|It is the truth. Why are you denying it? You can't protect anyone. You only bring calamities. You are the cursed child... remember.|

|I am called the cursed child because of you.|

|Aaaaawwwwnnnn that was harsh of you. Accept it. The both of us...…. We are not different. You and I...….. We are the same. I am just an extension of your emotions.|

|You and I are nothing alike|

|Hmmmm maybe you are right. I mean how can we be alike. It was you who killed all those people.|

|I DID NOT KILL ANYONE.|

|Not directly but if you would have accepted your fate, the massacre would not have occurred. You protect that kid. Don't make me laugh. The only thing you should protect that kid from is yourself.|

|Shut up|

|You are a killer. You can never be normal.|

|Shut up|

|Just accept yourself and embrace me. You can never protect anyone. People will always get hurt around you because you are the crimson eyed cursed child...….|

"I SAID SHUT UP" That was when I lost it. I shouted shut up with all my might.

A burst of magic power was released from my body. As soon as it left me it took the form of fire and spread outwards. I do not know how but sis was ready for it. She immediately hugged Anna and cast a portigo. The shield appeared and protected them from my flames. But sister could only be so fast. She had shielded Anna but Aug was further away. He did not have any kind of protection.

"Oh no..... AUG." I immediately called my flames back but it was already too late.

The eleven years old tried to protect himself using his hand. That did shield his face but his hands were now in a very bad condition.

"Oh no, I am so sorry. I am so sorry." I sat down immediately beside Aug who was now on the floor.

"Are you out of your mind Nathan?" Sister shouted.

"I-I-I" I wanted to say something but Could think of nothing to say.

"Let me help" I said but sis pushed me back as she cast her healing spell.

"Just stay back and let me do my thing. You have done enough." She was not harsh or anything but those words hit me in the heart like an arrow.

But that was not what broke me. It was Aug. He moved his hand and tried to talk in sign language. I looked at him and then something inside of me shattered. My chest felt as if it would burst any moment. His hands moved slowly and I understood what he was saying.

<Please do not scold Big Brother Nathan. He is not well. A while ago he was even having nightmares. I could tell. He was even talking in his sleep. He must not feel well. This was just an accident. I am sure he did not mean it.>

{A/N: I am so sorry but this is probably the last one...….. Look I can't help it … okay. I need to have this many types of conversations in my story. So <> will be used for sign language.}

|KUKUKUKU Look at that. Will you look at that! You have shown your true self. KUKUKU|

I stood up calmly and quietly.

"Sis I am going out." I spoke

"Wait Nat" She tried to stop me but I was already outside.

My hands were in my jeans pockets as I slowly walked down the train.

(He was right. I am a liability. Anyone who comes near me will get hurt. I have to stay away from people. Aurora, Vespira, that long assed test was useless. Trust you said. I do not need that. My journey is the one that I must take on alone. I will not affiliate myself with anyone anymore. So then maybe people around me will not get hurt.)

That was what I thought at that time but who knew, fate had other plans.