Chapter I: The Return

[English is not my native language so please forgive me for any spelling/grammar mistakes.]

My name is Glenn Throne and having just turned thirty, I was informed by my doctor that I had cancer and that treatment might not work. At first I downplayed the whole idea, as I had never been exposed to any carcinogens and was even wary of second-hand smoke, which I had read about many times on the internet, but after numerous X-rays and CT scans, I slowly began to doubt it.

A few days after the last examination, I remained locked in my flat, cutting myself off from everything, which in turn led to my expulsion from work. So I was left alone, wondering what the hell I should do now, my first instinct was to grab the phone and try to call my family, but the line was busy...

- Maybe it is even better this way? - I said out loud, but only the echo which was the curve of my hoarse voice answered me. Rolling on a quilt stained from the remains of junk food, I finally lay down on my back (which surprisingly made it easier for me to breathe) and looked carefully around the flat.

For over a year, I had been renting a small studio apartment lying somewhere on the outskirts of this godforsaken city. For as long as I can remember, there has always been not much space here, if someone else lived here, there would probably be nowhere to put one's feet. In general, the flat was a very small and neglected room of almost twenty square meters, in the northern part of it there was a cooker and a small kitchen top, in the eastern part there was a bathroom separated by a thin wall, and in the grey corner of the room there was a bed.

- I would give half a kingdom for a better view - I said, assuming a half-lying position and looking through the window. Just outside there was a small whack-a-mole where a neighbour used to periodically take care of the carpet, while now there were a few pissants who didn't look like they were more than sixteen years old. Behind them was a liquor shop, and right next to it, a bakery.

I should not complain about these conditions. The rent was relatively low, which meant that my savings allowed me to stay here longer, at least until I ran out of money, because then...

My thoughts were interrupted by the bottom tune of the phone ringing, in retrospect I don't remember giving out my number to anyone, so the only possibility is...

- Dad? - I said before I could look at the display to get a good look at the number - Hello? - I said again, but again there was a deafening silence - If this is a joke, believe me it's the last thing I want -

- Glenn...? - I was interrupted by the muffled and crying voice of an older man, now I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was talking to my father.

- Dad...something has happened- I wanted to get this burden off my chest, but I was suddenly interrupted...

- She is dead! - He shouted desperately.

- "Dead?" Calm down dad, tell me what's going on... - I replied straining my gaze at some imaginary object in the corners of the room....

- Mary is dead...my-m-my beloved daughter is dead! - We both said no more words, I listened in silence to the weeping, and despite my attempts to endure, I was flooded with tears myself. Mary was my sister, four years younger, my friend, thanks to whom I was able to spend my childhood in a normal way, as I had no one besides her. Now I know how stupid I was to leave...

It's been seven years since I left my hometown to take up a new job, and since then my contact with my family has been fading, until last year when it stopped.

- I understand - I lied - I will come home, wait for me... - I replied, ending the call and then catching three slow breaths. How was I supposed to tell him that I was terminally ill? Now that I found out about my own sister's death, I don't want him to have to worry about me yet...

Grabbing my wallet full of coupons and a small amount of cash, I ran out, slamming the door and heading for the nearest station to take the train...

Suddenly it started raining...

***

I had to change trains twice, and it was raining like a whirlwind. Hour after hour passed and I was trying in vain not to think about what had just happened, I grabbed a newspaper from the compartment and started to read it when an announcement appeared on the small display about the nearby station, which was my destination. To tell the truth, despite the changes, the journey itself was comfortable, thanks to waitresses whose figures would be the envy of many models. The menu was rich in all kinds of home-made dishes, but their price — although low — was not worth wasting already small savings.

So, after a few more minutes, I finally arrived at the platform and, after getting off the train, I was greeted by a gentle summer breeze, which seemed to be a consequence of the rain.

The family home was not far away, so covering the short distance on foot was beneficial in terms of money and time.

On arrival I was greeted by the same building as before, but after time spent away from it, it seemed strangely alien to me. Upon opening the door, I was greeted by the bottomless smell of the air and the creaking...

- Oh, you have arrived! - I was worried that something had happened to you — he stopped for a moment — God! How you have grown...

My father greeted me as I took a few steps towards the living room, grabbed me with both hands and then hugged me. His appearance hadn't changed in all these years; his face — full of wrinkles and concavities — remained the same; his hands were the same too, probably only the colour of his hair had changed, from bright blond it was getting greyer and greyer...

- Dad — I said, losing my cheerfulness — What about Mar-

- The funeral was a week ago...

- A week ago! - I replied somewhat surprised, given that the funeral was a week ago, why didn't my father inform me about it earlier? - Why-

- I was weak, son — he interrupted and put his hand on my shoulder — I thought I'd manage somehow, but I didn't give a damn... Everything took a turn for the worse.

I hugged him tightly, even though I already have these thirty years on my neck, I couldn't help myself anymore. My father seemed to be losing his temper...

I couldn't tell that his son might soon die of cancer...

- Besides — he said — There is something I have to show you...

I went with him to the next room, but I didn't expect to see exactly that... On the floor, right next to the fireplace, there was a little girl with long grey hair, playing with some toys.

- Dad, k-who is this girl?

He sighed loudly.

- Shortly after you had left us, your sister got pregnant...her guy, that pathetic son of a bitch, ran off somewhere out west and was never heard from again - it's finally been a few years since I left the family.

- So you're saying this girl is Mary's daughter! I was close to screaming, but I suppressed it — How How old is she? Seven years old? Does she know about what happened to her mother?

- I told her about it as best I could...Do you expect me to go and say 'Your mother died in a car accident'? I said she was at peace...

There was a deafening silence again...

- Glenn...

- Yes?

- I'd like you to take care of Alice... - he said with a downcast face, he had a sad expression on his face now, probably the same one he had when he told me about Mary's death...

- Me? I shouted unintentionally, thus attracting the attention of the child, this time more quietly, I turned to the father — Dad Dad, I don't even know how, I recently lost my job and I can barely make ends meet...

- I can't take care of her, I will go for a treatment in a while, and I can't leave the girl alone — he came closer to me — if you don't take care of her, the social care will take her away, my heart would fall apart if that happened...

I took my gaze from him and directed it towards the girl, who answered me with a radiant smile...

For some reason I felt warm...