Reminisce

As Su Guang continued asking Bai Shuixian more questions, she could only respond briefly and mysteriously. There were a few times when she was able to give a bit more details, but it was only a few times at that. To her, it was a mystery why she could not remember what she had done in the past two days.

There were a few moments that Bai Shuixian felt like her consciousness was returning, but it would be lost immediately. Sometimes, she would be able to see a blurry scenery in front of her that looked to be her life, but it was so blurry that she could barely tell who was in front of her. Other times, she was unable to see, but she was able to hear.

It was only through this that Bai Shuixian knew about the favors. If she had to be honest though, she only briefly heard the conversation about the favor. Even then, she could not hear clearly and could only make guesses.

Thankfully, it seemed that Su Guang believed her words the more she spoke, so Bai Shuixian became more confident. Still, she was wondering who she talked to in the place full of bright and warm light. The deep toned voice that told her to not stay with her grandma.

Bai Shuixian wanted to think more about what happened, but could only look at the tip of the iceberg before being hit with questions from Su Guang. In the end, she even became tired and begged her grandma to stop asking them.

"Grandma, my little head hurts. Please stop asking questions," Bai Shuixian cutely begged with a puppy face.

When Su Guang saw that face, she resigned, "Fine. As long as you're safe. Well then, let's go home."

Su Guang had been confident that she stopped Bai Shuixian from leaving the capital, but she did not know that her little boy was already persuaded to not live there.

With difficulty, Bai Shuixian said, "Grandma, I can't live here anymore."

Shocked, Su Guang asked, "What?! Why not?"

Her eyes widened in surprise as Bai Shuixian continued to keep her silence.

Putting her hands together and with a guilty face, Bai Shuixian stated, "Grandma, I've decided that I need to venture out."

Eyes reddening and tears threatening to spill, Su Guang asked again, "But why? The capital is a good place…"

"Grandma, no matter how good it is, I still cannot stay. Grandma, I need to grow stronger," Bai Shuixian said albeit a little unconsciously. "I need to see and experience the hardships of the world."

Her tears now falling, Su Guang brought out her handkerchief as she wept, "But Grandma cannot bear for Xiao Xian to face hardships."

Su Guang had experienced the long waits of Bai Deming continuously going to war without knowing if he would come back. She did not want her grandson to live on the edge of the world. She wanted her blood to live stably without having to wonder everyday if they were going to be able to live till the next.

With a calm and mature voice, Bai Shuixian said, "Grandma, Xian'er loves Grandma very much. But… If Xian'er wants to protect Grandma, Xian'er needs to become strong. That is why, it is imperative that Xian'er leaves."

Wiping the tears from Su Guang, Bai Shuixian continued, "Xian'er promises that Xian'er will come back safe and stronger than now. Xian'er will come back and protect Grandma."

Throwing her handkerchief to the side, Su Guang embraced Bai Shuixian and choked out, "Xiao Xian… Grandma really doesn't want you leaving."

Closing her eyes, Bai Shuixian embraced Su Guang back and quietly mumbled, "Grandma, one day… one day Xian'er will tell grandma the truth. The truth about everything."

Opening her eyes, the little bit color of silver had completely disappeared and all that was left was black.

With his deep, pulling black eyes, Bai Shuixian calmly and collectively said, "Grandma, if you care about me, please drop me off at the eastern gate. Magistrate Chen should already have the guards standing attention at another place."

Withdrawing from the embrace, Su Guang asked, "Xiao Xian, is this mandatory?"

Staring at Su Guang, Bai Shuixian answered, "If I continue to be spoiled, I will never learn to protect myself. The Bai Clan has been destroyed, but there is no promise that people will not attack the heir. Do you want me to die from being weak?"

"I understand," Su Guang continued weeping. "The eastern gate, right?"

"Yes," Bai Shuixian said with a resolute look on his face.

Reaching the eastern gate, Bai Shuixian opened the window to look at the capital city. Though he said nothing, his eyes expressed what he was feeling. With nostalgic eyes, it was easy to understand that he was thinking back on all the events that had happened thus far.

He had been created as another alternate person in this tiny body with the name of Xuan Yueji, but it had been too late for him to save his creator. A night of chaos had caused Bai Shuixian to run away instinctively, leaving him unable to take action. What the little girl thought to be just a few days, was in fact a few weeks.

Once in a while, Xuan Yueji was able to resurface during the escape and help Bai Shuixian find food or shelter for the day. However, the moment he left, she would start struggling again. There were moments he left her by herself hoping that she would learn to become more independent.

However, he did not think that Bai Shuixian would die. Xuan Yueji had been at the forefront, looking on at her pitiful body while constantly repeating, "Get up. Little Xian, get up."

Xuan Yueji knew that she was hungry and that she was tired as he had not taken control for three days. He wanted to, but he resisted as he knew that if she survived this calamity, she would no longer need him. He was created to help the creator, so that was what he tried to do.

When Bai Shuixian laid on the muddy pool, Xuan Yueji wanted to cry. However, he did not. He kept his cold facade.

At that time, another alternate personality asked, "Yueji, you're not going to help her?"

He had answered, "I cannot."

Patting him on the shoulder, that alternate had said, "Yueji, don't keep it to yourself. All of us alternates are here to help."

"The more alternates she has, the more it means she is struggling," Xuan Yueji rivaled.

The alternate had sighed, "Do what you must then."

Despite staring so intensely at Bai Shuixian, Xuan Yueji still did not expect her to commit suicide. When he had seen her running full force at the tree, he immediately tried to take over the body. But, he could not.

This time, it was not that he did not want to save her. This time, it was because she was resolute. This time, it was because her will to die was stronger and tougher than his will to save her.