Chapter 19

.../n... Y/N!"

"Eugh..."

I couldn't sleep soundly because I was so sensitive. After two nights of barely even falling asleep, I finally slept well and had a warm and fuzzy dream. I tried to ignore the voice of someone who seemed to be calling me, and I fell back into the abyss of my dream.

I was eighteen in my dream. Although the Emperor was still Rupert Raspereich I, he did not hate the Bellua. I was so happy on this ordinary day when I was eighteen, which I had never thought was so important before.

...is this a hand?

After that, I felt like someone was really holding my hand and really grasping it. My hand shook continuously as if someone was shaking it as I slowly realized the bitter truth that, in reality, I had never gone on a walk alone before, let alone holding a man's hand. I slowly opened my eyes at the fuzzy line between dream and reality.

Ugh, I just fell asleep.

My anger intensified as I felt my mind coming back to reality.

"Y/N! Y/-..."

When Tori's voice woke me up and was telling me to get up, I barely managed to swallow my irritation and turn my head.

She was staring at me while standing in the small space between the old olive wall and my bed.

"Tori?"

The pure white light of the moon shines on her frizzy hair. She's been out for a long time because her face is tanned and her cheeks are freckled. Her clothes kept getting wet because tears kept falling from her eyes. I was frozen stiff, and I couldn't even get away from her when she grabbed me and shook me for no reason.

"What, what? What happened!"

"Y/n... Y/n..."

I used a hoarse voice to try to calm her down. I woke up grumpy, but Tori grabbed me out of bed and helped me regain my balance. She's crying so much that I thought someone had died.

"Her Highness is acting weird... hic... She's... she's having a bad dream and couldn't breathe."

"Tori, calm down, don't cry."

Rupert was probably breathing, but Tori also said it didn't look like he was. She was crying so hard that she couldn't even breathe. It was as if a nightmare had swallowed her up.

I patted Tori's shaking back and frowned. Tori's concern is that he can't sleep. But maybe it's just something that keeps him from falling asleep.

A nightmare, perhaps?

"Did you already call the Imperial physician?"

"I...I can't... Her Highness doesn't want... HUHU, Her Highness can't wake up because of her fever... WAAA!"

'Right. I forgot he's trying to hide his gender.'

"For now, I have medicine for fever and pills to help me sleep."

I ran by Tori, who was starting to cry again, and quickly ran to the chest of drawers to find a first aid kit.

When I got injured by Evelina's training and from the numerous assassination attempts from Amanda and other enemies, I would bring a spare kit, just in case. Though I don't use it frequently.

An old saying goes along the lines of 'a person gives an extra piece of bread to a person in need,' but this medicine is much more valuable than bread.

And Rupert is even a bigger jerk.

I'll have to charge him later in a different way. After I finished my calculations in front of Tori, who seemed to go crazy because she was worried about her sick master and other stuff like that, I went over to Rupert, who was gasping for air.

"Your Highness?"

Originally, his skin was so pale it could turn blue. He was shaking his weak limbs and sweating a lot. He couldn't move and had difficulty breathing, as if something hard was pressing on him.

'Shit.' I thought. 'This is too bad.'

I felt so much pain in my heart in this state.

I didn't waste a single second to rush to his aid.

'Cruel.' I thought sadly. 'I suffered like this for years.'

"How long has she been like this?"

"She's having nightmares for a long time now, but it's only now that she's unable to breathe!"

When Tori said that, I put my hand on Rupert's sweaty forehead.

Hot.

I broke up the herbs I had brought, put them in the palm of my hand.

Rupert's eyelids, out of focus on my hand, opened as if seeking light. He forced his eyelids open and looked at my face right away. He must have known I was not Tori because he widened his eyes when he saw me. He looked upset that my hand was on his forehead, but he couldn't move, so all he could do was bite his lips.

I saw how embarrassed Rupert was, showing me his weakness. So I looked at him closely with worried eyes, as if I didn't know anything.

"Your Highness, it's me... Y/n."

"Get... lost."

I'm not sure if he thinks he's dreaming or if he knows that I'm real. It seemed to me that he knew that I was real, but I didn't care. I just need to act like a loyal maid that is worried that her Master is sick.

I felt his pain as my heart ached for him.

"Your Highness! You need to eat this... say ahh and swallow."

When I told Rupert to eat out the valuable herb, he spat it out.

"You... shut it."

"I don't know what kind of nightmare it is for you to sweat and have a fever like that."

"I told... you... to go? Tori!"

Rupert calls out for Tori, but his voice is raspy.

I stopped Tori from running to him and asked for some water. Tori hesitated, looked at me and then at Rupert, and then left the room quickly.

"Do you think that I poisoned you?"

I sighed as I saw him bite the herb that I had put in his mouth but didn't swallow. As if to prove myself, I took the herbs to my mouth and ate them.

"Look here, I also ate them."

Rupert slowly chewed on the herb. He even confirmed that I had swallowed it.

Am I a big walking mass of doubt? I feel like he won't trust even the tips of his fingernails to me.

I just smiled at him. He was so weak that he couldn't even move my hand off his forehead.

"Don't be embarrassed to show me when you're weak."

"..."

"Don't be shy... we all have bad dreams."

Rupert stabilized quickly since the medicine was expensive and helped him feel better with its excellent medicinal effects. He swallowed the sleeping pill in pill form that Tori had brought along with the water and laid still while I wiped his forehead with a damp towel. The shape of his long, thick eyelashes is so pretty that it's hard for others to believe he isn't a girl, so until he's fifteen, he lies about his gender.

"Does it hurt anywhere else?"

"..."

His features were so beautiful that it looked like the artist put his heart into each one. However, those eyes are nothing compared to the eyes of the backstreet thugs. When he looked at me with a fierce look, I lowered my eyes and mumbled.

He was soon breathing softly and quietly as he fell asleep. He'll finally get the sleep I've wanted for a long time. Rupert slept like he was dead, like a corpse, and I just stood there and watched.

"Tori, go to sleep… I'm looking out for her tonight."

"No… I can't let you do this alone."

"Don't worry about that… It's part of my job as a servant, like you."

"But you don't usually stay with her at night…."

"I can do it tonight."

Even though I was determined, Tori was still unsure. Her face showed she was tired, so I smiled and took her hand.

"Are you sleepy? It's okay to go."

"Then I'll shift with you in the morning."

Tori yawned with her mouth wide open. She slowly got up, probably because she was tired, and bowed her head toward Rupert, who was sound asleep.

I can't even imagine Rupert hearing her say her proper greetings. Tori never learned proper etiquette in the Imperial Court, but she was very good at greeting people. After she leaves, there is nothing but silence. Rupert's thin breath filled the quiet room evenly, quiet as a dead mouse.

He can't even trust me even though I'm on his side. He also has no faith in me whatsoever. Even though Rupert was conscious, he wouldn't take the medicine I gave him. I don't even look like I work for the Queen, but there's still that bone-chilling mistrust.

He can't even trust me even though I'm on his side. He also has no faith in me whatsoever. Even though Rupert was conscious, he wouldn't take the medicine I gave him. I don't even look like I work for the Queen, but there's still that bone-chilling mistrust.

I don't blame him.

In the Imperial Palace, it is either all or nothing.

I just stared at his terrible face and then sat on a chair.

It was no problem for me to stay awake.

Hours and hours later, Rupert's condition started to deteriorate incredibly.

He was back to his old state.

'Alchemy.' I thought quickly. 'This could work. There's almost nothing Alchemy can't do. '

I quickly placed my hand on his forehead and started the spell.

Bright green light emitted from my hand as chain-like structures wrapped around Rupert's body and head and rotated for a mere second, as though it is analyzing him before disappearing inside of him.

He was back to normal.

His breathing and pulse rate was normal.

He was sleeping as his features slowly relaxed.

I placed my hand once more on his forehead before heaving a sigh of relief, a tear drop escaped from the stress I got.

I sat beside his bed on the floor and held one of his hands, in fear of his high fever to return.

'Trust me, Your Highness. I won't betray Your Highness.'

Small beads of sweat drooped down from my forehead, faintly smiling and gripping his hand once more as my tired, heavy eyelids shut tight.