5. Having it All

It was mid afternoon before Lena made it in to Lcorp.

Trust the Department of Extranormal Operations to have, well, extranormally expansive Non-Disclosure Agreements. She really should have had her lawyers look over the paperwork before she signed it, but then she supposed that would have rather defeated the purpose of signing it in the first place.

Still, it was done, and after a quick stop back at the new apartment to change into something a little more professional, Lena could finally close her doors behind her and take a deep, cleansing breath in the undiluted white haven of her office. She had a few minutes before the rescheduled board meeting, and she used them to sweep the room for anything out of the ordinary, but everything was just as she’d left it. There were no baby pictures on her desk, no finger paintings on proud display, no screensaver selfies with Kara, no unusual appointments in her calendar, no sign that she was anything other than what she had been yesterday; The CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, a single workaholic recently estranged from the remains of her lunatic family, with one friend and no social life.    

Perfect.

Taking a seat behind her pristine and uncluttered desk, utterly alone for the first time all day, Lena could almost convince herself the entire morning had been dream. Except, of course, for the two silver rings on her finger. She twisted them idly, fingertips lingering on the sharp, sparkling diamond.

Kara had proposed. In this strange, warped reality Lena found herself in, Kara had asked Lena to marry her, and Lena had said yes. She almost wished that was harder to believe. Lena would have liked to have met the man or woman or alien who could have said no. Kara was... Lena stopped that thought before it could go any further, flattening her hands on the top of her desk.

It didn’t matter what Kara was, or, more importantly, who Kara was. She wasn’t Lena’s, no matter what some fifth dimensional busy body had to say about it. That had certainly been made clear today. Even if Mike, or Mon El, or whatever his name was, wasn’t a factor, Lena had been entirely mistaken in her understanding of their relationship. She had thought... but she’d been wrong, and she’d only embarrassed herself. She wasn’t special; she wasn’t part of some select group of super friends Kara had trusted with her identity.

Lena had a gift for recognizing when someone was lying to her. People had been lying to her all her life, but she hadn’t thought anyone could lie that badly unless they were doing it on purpose.

She’d been wrong.

“Miss. Luthor?” Jess stuck her head in the door, tone apologetic. “The Board is ready for you.”

“I’ll be right there.” Lena meant to slide the rings off her finger and leave them in her desk. She had no interest in fielding the inevitable questions that would arise when they were noticed, but at the last minute she simply twisted the engagement ring around, so that the diamond was hidden from casual observation. Plain silver bands weren’t likely to excite much comment, and it was possible she wasn’t quite as resigned as she’d like to pretend.

 *****

 Two hours in, Lena would have welcomed an interrogation about her sudden change in marital status.

That would have been a vast improvement over passive aggressive insinuations, thinly veiled accusations and, of course, the usual misogynistic condescension and avuncular bullshit. If Lcorp had still been a private company she would have replaced the entire board the moment she took over as CEO. Lex had been the one who wanted to go public, but now the public had lost its faith in the Luthor name, if not the Luthor product, leaving Lena with a board that didn’t respect  her, shareholders that didn’t trust her and a city that didn’t want her.

Not, that she didn’t have a few allies.

Two of them; Thomas Crow,and  Melanie Rivers, were the only reason any work was getting done today at all.  Crow had been a friend of her father’s, and he was shrewd enough to see past her age and gender to the leader Lional had raised her to be. Rivers had all the empathy and compassion of a shark, but she was smart. She paid attention and she knew how to play the long game. For now, her goals and Lena’s were compatible.

Still, even with them on her side, they were only about halfway through the agenda, and Lena could feel a migraine coming on. She was just about to suggest a five minute break, when her secretary tapped on the door, providing a welcome interruption.

“Ms. Luthor, sorry to interrupt, but Ms. Danvers is here to see you.”

Okay, maybe not so welcome.

Lena looked past Jess to see Kara waving sheepishly through the glass half-wall. The child was fast asleep in her arms, curled up trustingly against her chest with one little fist tangled in her hair. Lena saw several sets of eyebrows rise around the table before she excused herself and hustled Kara out of sight.

“I’m so sorry!” Kara said once they were around a corner. “Jess said you were in a meeting, so I was going to leave a message, but she insisted you’d want to see me, and I didn’t know how to say no to her...”

 “Kara, breathe.” Lena interrupted the overflow of apology with a hand on Kara’s wrist. “It’s okay. What did you need?”

“Oh,” Kara shifted the sleeping child in her arms. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.  You kind of rushed out of there once all the paperwork was signed, and we never really got a chance to talk about...” She made a kind of wooshing motion with her free hand. “You know...”

Lena did know, and she also couldn’t help but notice that Kara was still wearing her wedding ring. A completely irrelevant observation, and no reason at all for her chest to suddenly feel tight under her black designer blouse.

“I had a meeting,” she said, dropping her hand and stepping back, “and I already knew, so you don’t have to explain anything. I’m sure you had your reasons for keeping it a secret. I certainly haven’t given you my entire life story. You hardly owe me yours.”

Kara’s face fell. “Right...well, I won’t keep you, I’m sorry for interrupting.”

Lena felt like an ogre. A puppy-kicking ogre. She caught Kara’s sleeve before she could walk away.

“I’m sorry, that was... not your fault.” She gestured back at the boardroom. “It’s them, not you. Honestly, you’ve probably saved me from adding a murder charge to my record today.”

Kara hesitated. “That bad?”

Lena snorted, untangling her fingers from the fabric of Kara’s sweater and curling them around her wrist instead. “If I thought the board was hostile before my mother chose to continue the family tradition of xenophobic lunacy... well, let’s just say they’re making no secret of the fact that they’re not entirely convinced I should have been exonerated.”

“Can they force you out?”

“With Lex behind bars, and my mother on the run, I control the majority shares of the company, so no.” Lena shook her head, trying very hard not to stroke the soft skin under her hand. “But they can make my life difficult.”

Kara didn’t seem to notice Lena’s internal struggle. “Do you want me to throw any of them into space for you?” She asked, all earnestness.“Because I can do that.”

Lena laughed. “No, I think I can handle it. Though that mental image may be just what I needed to keep me sane through the rest of this meeting, so thank you for that.”

“The offer stands,” Kara said, still very much in protective mode, only to soften instantly when the child she was carrying stirred and whimpered, burying her face further into Kara’s chest and tugging on her fistful of curls.

“Ow, ow...” Kara gently pulled her hair free, grimacing at the unexpected strength in that grip. “Okay, I think that’s my cue to go and find this one a better place to have her nap. Call me later?”

Lena nodded. “I will.” She gave Kara a little push. “Now go, so I can get back to work.” She made sure to say it with a smile, so Kara would know she was teasing, but inwardly, her stomach clenched with the thought of going back into the boardroom. She had very little hope that this fresh bit of gossip was going to improve productivity.

And she was right.

Though... not exactly in the way she had expected.

“I’m sorry for the interruption,” she said as she resumed her seat. “Where were we?”

Crow gave her a conspiratorial wink, blue eyes twinkling. “Don’t worry about it Ms. Luthor. When my wife Rosie was still with us, she’d have had my balls if I’d ever let my secretary keep her waiting.”

Lena blinked.

“You’re too soft, Crow!” another voice chimed in. Monroe, from accounting, and usually one of Lena’s harshest critics, though she couldn’t have guessed it from the broad smile underneath his mustache. “I doubt our erstwhile leader here is leashed quite so tightly.”

“Ha!” Crow fired back. “I’d like to be there to see Miranda hear you say that! I seem to remember a certain Christmas party...” he was hushed, loudly, but there were chuckles from around the room.

“And your little Lizzy,” Fizgerald, their communications specialist added.  “She’s nearly the same age as my Tyler, isn’t she? He just had his second birthday last week.” And then he was actually pulling up pictures of the party on his tablet and leaning over to show them to her. Lena couldn’t remember ever hearing a single unprofessional  word from him, and now he was thumbing through photos of his kid covered in cake, clearly smitten, and completely at ease with the situation.

“Twenty-one months actually,” she said in something of a daze. “Her birthday is in June.”

There were a few mentions of “the terrible two’s,” from around the table, and one or two commiserations from board members who had been there. Rivers snorted and put in that she was damned glad her husband was the one staying home with the kids.

Lena couldn’t quite make sense of the sudden change. From cautious cooperation at best, and open hostility at worst, to... this? She wasn’t even sure what this was. Clearly Winn had been right this morning, and seeing Kara with the child had been some kind of visual trigger for the reality shift, but why that should so completely change her board’s attitude towards her, she had no idea.

“Could we...?” she asked, tapping the agenda.

There were a few good natured sighs, and a cheerful grumble or two, but everyone shuffled their papers and got to work. It was like the first two hours had never happened, and within half an hour, they were wrapping up and she was shaking everyone’s hands and bidding them all an oddly sincere goodnight.  

Lena was feeling very much off centre as she made her way back to her office.

She was looking forward to wrapping up and going home to her own apartment. She felt a slight twinge of guilt at the thought of leaving Kara alone to deal with the child and all the rest, but the professionals at the DEO had been quite clear about Lena staying out of it, and Kara hadn’t argued the point. If she wanted Lena’s help, she would have asked for it. It was that simple.  

Distracted, Lena didn’t immediately notice anything different about her office. She’d intended to answer a few emails, double check her schedule for the next day, and then head home, but as soon as she sat down behind her desk, those differences became impossible to ignore. She saw the photographs first; two pictures in elegant white frames, one to either side of her monitor. The first of Kara, nose crinkled in a laugh, and the second of the child, sleeping, her precious stuffed dog tucked under her chin.

The other additions were obvious as soon as Lena lifted her eyes from her desk. A painting hung over her couch, a landscape, not dissimilar to the one she had seen half-finished in Kara’s apartment. A few toys were scattered around the room, a pile of blocks were tucked into one corner, and a small stack of children’s books had taken up residence on her coffee table. It wasn’t much, but Lena couldn’t help but feel like her space had been invaded. 

This was worse than the Board’s sudden turn around.

Abruptly deciding that she’d rather work from home, Lena gathered up her things and left the office, but Jess waved her down before she could make her escape.

“Ms. Luthor, have you had a chance to look over those event details I emailed you this afternoon?”

“Event?” Lena was drawing a blank. Lcorp didn’t have anything coming up that she knew of. Though right now, nothing would surprise her.

“Your anniversary party...” Jess explained, looking slightly concerned. “Lcorp and Catco are throwing a joint Gala fundraiser in support of LGBTQ+ rights, with you and Ms. Danvers as the guests of honour... I just need you to approve the final plans before I send them over to Mr. Olsen.”

“Oh,” of course. Lena had seen the marriage certificate, and she’d realized, abstractly, that the date was coming up, but she’d assumed they would have this sorted out by then. The idea of an anniversary party hadn’t even occurred to her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see the email. I’ll make sure to look them over tonight.”

“Tomorrow will be fine, Ms. Luthor.” Jess assured her. “I know you prefer not to work from home.”

Really? Because this was the first she was hearing about it. Apparently married Lena had a better work/life balance than single Lena. She wondered if that was Kara’s influence, and then remembered that Kara technically had two full time jobs, so she probably wasn’t in any position to judge.

“Tomorrow, then,” Lena promised.

The drive home was uneventful, dusk just settling over the city and her apartment building was unchanged. The doorman waved her through with a tip of his hat and a cheerful “Good evening Miss. Luthor,” so she was completely unprepared for the sight that greeted her when she unlocked her front door.

It was empty.

Completely empty.

Her furniture, her books, her personal possessions... they were all gone.

Lena shut the door behind her, leaning back against it, and closing her eyes against a rising tide of panic. She was shaking, and she swallowed hard against a surge of nausea, sliding down to the floor so that she could rest her forehead against her knees.

It wasn’t about the material things. Logically, she assumed many of them would be in apartment she was supposed to be sharing with Kara, along with her clothes. Lena didn’t even have much she was particularly attached to. It was more than that.

It was her life.

She had moved to National City for a fresh start. She had been trying so hard to make a home here, to make a new name and a new life for herself. There had been setbacks, but it had all been hers; her company, her office and her apartment. And now... some want-to-be-Genie had swooped in and changed everything, and there wasn’t even anything Lena could do about it.

Criminal family drama, death threats, alien weapons and viral warfare, those she could handle. This was fucking magic, and it was so far outside of her experience that she barely even knew where to start.

She clenched her hands, wincing against the unfamiliar pinch of her rings. Lifting her head to look down at the two bands of silver lies and false promises, she was tempted to yank them off and threw them across the room, but something Kara had said stayed her hand.  

She might not have the tools to deal with this, but she knew someone who would.

Swallowing her pride, Lena pulled her phone out of her purse and searched through her contacts, breathing a sigh of relief when she found the one she wanted.  

*****

Alex had a hot cup of tea waiting when Lena came out of the bathroom in borrowed sweats and a tank top, hair still wet from her shower, and her feet bare against the hardwood floors.

“Better?” she asked, holding out the cup.

“Much,” Lena said, taking it, and sitting down on the couch. “Thank you, for letting me stay here tonight. I know it’s an imposition.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex took the other end of the couch, tucking her feet up underneath her. She was already dressed for bed, in leggings and a T-shirt, her brown hair tousled and her usual sharp edges softened. “I called Winn while you were in the shower to fill him in on what happened at your office and he’s pretty sure that confirms our theory on how this thing is spreading. He’s staying with Kara tonight, and he says she’s really sorry for making it worse and she’ll try not to do it again.

 “That makes sense.” Lena wrapped her hands around her cup, the silver of her rings tapping softly against the ceramic. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not usually this...”

“Freaked out?” Alex finished for her. She snorted. “You don’t have to apologize for that. Kara’s apartment was cleaned out too. Winn says the kid is running her ragged and she’s a superhero, so she’s not doing a whole lot better. I know I’d be a mess if this was happening to me. Hell, I’m still adjusting to the idea of being an aunt; I can’t imagine becoming a mother overnight.”

Lena winced. “That was... quite the surprise,” she admitted.

“Let me guess,” Alex said. “Children weren’t exactly in your five year plan?”

“They were, actually.” Lena laughed softly at Alex’s poorly concealed surprise. “I know, I’m not exactly the maternal type, but Lex and I used to talk about having it all, careers, love, kids... we even planned to have our children at the same time so they’d be more like siblings than cousins. He only wanted one, a boy to carry on the Luthor name, but I always thought I’d have this huge clan running around underfoot... I didn’t want them to grow up as lonely as I did, you know?” She curled into the back of the couch, drawing her legs up against her chest and resting her cup on her knees. “And then he went mad, and went to prison, and all of our plans were ruined. When Mother followed in his footsteps, I decided that was it. The last thing this world needed was another Luthor.”

“So Lizzy...”

“Threw me,” Lena admitted. “Did you know Louise was my real mother’s name?”

Alex shook her head, expression solemn.

“I don’t remember much about her,” Lena continued. “But I remember how it felt... being loved the way a mother is supposed to love you. I suppose it might have been easier growing up with Lillian, if I hadn’t known the difference. I can’t imagine not loving a child with her name... but I’m afraid if I get attached...”

“You’ll lose her,” Alex said.

“She’s not real,” Lena pointed out. “I was never pregnant with her. I didn’t give birth to her.  When you and your team break this spell, or curse, or whatever it is, she’ll be gone.”

“But she’s here now.” Alex reached out, pressing a hand to Lena’s knee. “And it’s okay to be scared, or confused, or even angry about that. If it helps, technically, she’s not just a Luthor. She’s a Luthor-Danvers, and we’re pretty hard to get rid of.”

“I’ve noticed,” Lena said dryly. “I haven’t managed to frighten Kara off yet, though she is made of steel, so I supposed she’s a little harder to scare than most.”

Alex chuckled, leaning back. “How are you doing with that by the way? I know you knew, but it’s still different, knowing something in company rather than knowing it alone.”

Lena took a sip of her tea instead of answering right away. She thought about brushing it off, but she had the feeling that if she did, she’d regret it. She had swallowed enough of her feelings lately, and Alex was surprisingly easy to talk to. “Have you ever felt, I mean really believed,” She began, “that you had this special connection with someone? And found yourself doing and saying, and feeling things that you never would have considered because you’d always been alone, but now you had this... this chance to be a part of something important? But then of course, you realized that you were wrong, and everything you’d felt and done still mattered, it was still good and that connection was still special, but it wasn’t what you thought it was...” She trailed off, biting her lip at the startled expression on Alex’s face. “I’m sorry, that was-”

“No,” Alex cut her off, gently. “It’s fine, and yes, I think I know exactly what you mean. But Lena...” She looked troubled. “I have to ask, did you...?”

“Make a wish?” Lena finished for her, when it looked like Alex wasn’t going to quite be able to bring herself to say it. “Not that I’m aware of, though I’ll admit the same thought occurred to me when that Mike, or Mon El suggested it this morning. I would have told you if I had. I may not be entirely opposed to this reality, but I’m not in the habit of wishing for things I can’t have.”

Alex nodded. “I believe you. I still think this is about Kara. Mxyzptlk was obsessed with her, and she’s always wanted a family. Deep down I think she knows Mon El isn’t exactly father material, but she trusts you. You would be a safe choice, and I know she cares about you.”

“Even if it’s not quite the way I’d prefer?” Lena added ruefully, looking down and swirling the tea in her cup. It should have been harder, she thought, to tell Alex how she felt about Kara. It had been a joke when she’d called them sisters this morning. She knew Kara had meant what she’d said in the car, but Lena had only been trying to lighten a tense moment. She’d never expected to find herself believing it, but oddly enough, she was starting to.

 “You won’t say anything to Kara?” She asked, even though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

“No,” Alex assured her. “But you could, if you wanted to. Kara wouldn’t let it come between you. She’s pretty amazing like that.”

“Maybe,” Lena lied. “Once this is all sorted out.”

“I’m here, if you ever want to talk,” Alex offered. “But right now I think we should get some sleep. You’ve got pillows and blankets, and there are extras in the hall closet if you need them.” She stood up. “Good night, Lena.”

“Good night...” Lena set her cup down on the coffee table and set about making up the couch. Alex turned off the lights, but left a lamp on so that Lena could see what she was doing, switching it off once she was settled.

Lena didn’t think that sleep would come easily. It had been a long time since she’d slept on a couch, and there was no shortage of thoughts to keep her awake, but it seemed luck was on her side for once, and she dropped quickly into a deep, dreamless sleep that carried her gently through the night, until she awoke with the sun on her face, and the inexplicable feeling that everything would be okay.

She was also in bed with Kara again.

So it seemed like staying away from each other was off to a great start.