old wounds
Ashira
In my room I make my way to the bathroom to shower and look presentable so that my appearance don't make it to the list of things nona would nag me about today, it's like the woman still thinks am a teenager for crying out loud . grabbing the door knob to the bathroom which feels cold , I twist open the door to reveal the bathroom ,with a shower at the other end of the bathroom concealed by the transparent shower curtain which fogs up when taking a shower , two meters in front is the sink above it is the bathroom mirror , the toilet a meter in front of the sink and the floor white tiled.
grabbing the green brush I keep in the blue cup at the sink I almost scream when I come in contact with my reflection on the mirror. my hair looks like a bird made a nest on it and then had a fight with a fucking raccoon, no wonder nona scowled , the woman probably had a minor heart attack right there, my tank top has some stains on it probably from yesterday's pizza . putting some tooth paste on the brush I clean my teeth, make my way to the toilet to do my business and then hopped in the shower.
Walking out of the shower I grab my pink towel and dry my body carelessly not bothering to get all the beads of water attached to my body but I wipe it enough to make sure I don't wet the floor 'don't want me tripping and falling anytime soon', wrapping the towel round my body I step out of the bathroom making my way to the vanity at the edge of the room near the window, surveying the array of vitamin serum and oils placed next to each other in order of height I finally spot what I was looking for , my body lotion, squirting some lotion on my hand I run it down my legs feeling the thornlike hairs on my leg as a result of not shaving yesterday and today on my palms.
A little sigh escapes my lips 'I will do it tomorrow ' I mutter to my self.
A knock on the bedroom door reminds me that am not alone and the food nona made might be getting cold. Hastily I walk to my wardrobe running my hand through my waist length black mane on the way 'seems like I will leave it to air dry today' , pulling out a loose ash joggers and a blue t-shirt that has "my eyes are down here" written on the middle of the t-shirt , bending down to the lower drawer I pull out a pair of faded yellow socks with blue kitty heads drawn on it , deciding to go braless since am not going anywhere today and my shirt doesn't have a neckline that can flash anybody even if I decide to stroll , I make my way downstairs to eat breakfast.
Settling down on the same stool I occupied before, nona brings a plate of blueberry pancakes with syrup and sets it in front of me discreetly checking my attire she purses her lips and shakes her head, probably disappointed am not dressed up to the nines, what can I say I like my comfort . "I checked your fridge ash , when was the last time you restocked " nona asked as she Carries her own plate of pancakes and settles on the stool opposite mine . Sighing I rubbed my hand down my face dreading the direction this conversation would be heading very soon.
Clearing my throat I rack my brain to remember when my grocery was used up " last week nona it has not been that long" I replied.
Raising one eyebrow to indicate she does not buy my shit . " really ? " she continues "Cause I saw an expired carton of milk in the fridge and the date was 3 weeks ago". Lowering my head to take another spoonful of pancakes and chewing lightly "maybe I didn't see that one when I was cleaning up the fridge ".I smile at nona, but the old woman was not having any of it . "Ash you need to take care of yourself, maybe if you meet a man , get married you would learn to be more responsible " nona says . Oh no I know where this conversation is heading, abort mission I repeat abort mission. Oblivious to my inner turmoil nona continues "I met up with some of my friends and they had grandsons of marriageable age willing to settle down , I can arrange a date with few of them for you ".
"Nona you know how I feel about your blind dates , I don't want to meet up with your friends grandchildren, always walking around like the world revolves around them and behaving like they got a stick up their ass" I groan out.
"Ashira you are 26 not getting any younger, and those men are eligible bachelors, most people would kill to be in your shoes right now " nona states " well nona have you ever considered that maybe I don't wanna get married, and even if I do it wont be with someone I met due to an arrangement ". I counter , this talk of marriage is giving me a headache
Nona clearly not getting the hint speaks up" don't wanna get married?" Her voice an octave higher as if she can't fathom the idea of me never getting married. "You know that a queen needs her king , he makes her stronger. " she says
" history begs to differ , queens in history were much stronger without their king" I argue back this time the food clearly forgotten.
" It's because of cheryl your mother isn't it , you still haven't gotten over her death have you. And I keep telling you it isn't your fault Ash" nona replies . At the mention of my mother anger fills up my veins like a volcanic eruption , setting my body and tongue on fire ,
"no it isn't my fault it's yours and mine nona, had you come to meet her sooner , had you set aside your pride and searched for your daughter maybe she would be here with us. We killed her. Maybe not physically but we couldn't help her,no I couldn't but you didn't !! .she was your only child for crying out loud" hot tears of anger stream down my face , I hate the fact that tears spill from my eyes whenever am angry but I can't help it , standing up I grab my plate and walk to the sink loathing my self for the words I uttered when I heard quiet sniffles from where nona was seated.
Head hung low I turn to walk back to my room and stay there at least until nona leaves , but before I could reach the livingroom I heard nona clear her throat and a quiet voice address me " I thought I was forgiven Ashira?" . "You are but it's hard to forget. If you need me I'll be in my room , when you are done you know the way out . I just want to be alone now." .
Reaching my bedroom door I push it open and slip in to the comforts of my bed and duvet , my brain running a mile a minute playing every scene from that day as if it happened yesterday, turning my body to the left my eyes meet the analog black alarm clock I kept on my bedside table and note the time 1:56pm , sighing I suck in a deep breath to calm my nerves and breathe out. I wont let this break me again, I have become stronger than that .
I kept staring at the clock like it was the most interesting thing in the world not even bothering to check my phone for messages, so much for the enthusiasm for the plan I had of bingeing Netflix today , when the time was 3:54pm I heard the door shut and a clicking sound . once again blanketing me in silence , Guess my nona have left. Slowly I felt sleep capture my senses leaving me immobile and barely unconscious , I really hope this would be the worst day of the week but who am i kidding it's the first day things could get worse or get better. With that thought in mind the day rolled away carrying me with it while I was wrapped in a blanket of sleep.