Diary #2

August 29, 2022

Monday

It's Monday. The first thing that woke me up was the smell of cooked eggs, dried anchovies, and hotdogs for breakfast. It's unbelievably quiet since Emily is not here. She went on a vacation in the Bahamas when she didn't even have a job. What a life.

I did my morning routine as usual and when I went downstairs, I saw Simon kissing my mom in the dining area. When my mom eventually caught me watching them both trying to have sex she softly pushed Simon away and started glaring at me, so I just gave her two thumbs up and a grin, and I knew at that moment she was annoyed and embarrassed, it was totally obvious on her face. Simon immediately apologized for what happened and he greeted me in his usual polite manner.

I knew that my mom will refuse to make me a lunchbox for the rest of the week, which is great because whenever I pissed off my mom, Simon bought me Chick-fil-A or McDonald's instead or he will give me 100 dollars to buy whatever I want. He's a great dude but I don't understand whenever he talks about fishing. He doesn't even eat what he catches, he just took pictures of it and releases it back into the waters. They just fish for a show off which is quite weird, I mean..grilled fish is scrumptious too especially with tomatoes and onions inside. Yum!

I'm going to university now, I am enrolled at the University of California. Simon didn't want me to live in a dorm since the university was just a minute's drive away from our house. But before I went to the car, Simon handed me a 100-dollar paper bill and told me to be safe. So I nod and said goodbye. Well, just like what I expected.

And yeah, I can drive, I used to drive my ex-crush, Daniel, wherever he wants to go. Turns out that he's just using me to get free transportation, talking about the complete cheapskate and douchebag here eh?

How we got a car in the Philippines? Simple. Because of my mom. No, she's not one of the casts of Trike Patrol, she is a Lumpia wrapper businesswoman. After she married Simon, she sold our car to earn enough money for the visa. And right now she's helping Simon run a laundromat. My mom is always a business-minded woman. She raised me all alone, I have no idea who's my father since he got eaten by a shark. No one knows that except my closest friends in the Philippines. (If I tell this story to any of my classmates it'll be totally unsettling)

The University of California is perfectly fine. But when I heard the story of how it was established I was expecting that the University is also an old cemetery like in the Philippines schools but sadly no. And I'm sincerely disappointed. There will be no possessed students and there will be no American ghosts haunting and peeping on the toilets. I'm honestly sick of Filipino ghosts, they're all women crying for vengeance. Like bitch, please? The one who killed you is probably deceased too so why stay at school? It's so lame and dumb. And why wear all white? They probably didn't know that they could also wear pink or yellow. Boring.

Anyways it's been days since the first day of school started. Some of them already have enough friends like HOW!?

From my observation, my classmates have different personalities, from the way they dress, talk, and act. Some are still confused about what they are doing in their lives, some students are thinking about their future careers, or they just force themselves to be there because they don't want to work in a fast food chain in near future, and some of them are creating TikTok videos or promoting their SoundCloud music that sounds like somebody's taking a huge dump on the toilet. They are all unique in their ways, but one thing is for sure. I don't like them all.

It's just making me miss my High School friends in the Philippines. Bunch of weirdos but you can rely on them, especially on examination days. I only have two friends but I do have a bunch of crushes, don't get me started on my celebrity crushes and my campus crushes or simply strangers I met while I'm helping my mom in our Lumpia stall only for them to be stored in my memory and heart forever.

So I just sat on my designated chair, obviously nearby the window. And started scrolling through my phone while secretly watching some BL series and wishing that it should be me :(

But an annoying generic blonde girl sat in front of me and said Hello with a huge smile plastered on her face. I just stared at her for two seconds and based on her looks. She is.... blonde and probably a new chick who will ruin my entire day or my entire semester who knows?. So I just went back to watch that BL series and ignore her whole existence. And I can hear her sighed out of dismay. Yeah right, stop pestering me.

But our professor unexpectedly came in so I just rolled my eyes. What great timing.

I took BS in Nursing. Why's that? Because my mom wants to. I simply don't know what I want for my future. I just want to have a boyfriend. I prefer bisexual or gay men. I think they're hotter. It's always been a fantasy of mine to be in a relationship with one of them, I wanna know how it feels like to be loved by someone who has a feminine side in themselves. According to my friends, I'm probably queer or gender fluid or maybe just straight-up horny but I don't know. I don't have that much knowledge about other sexual identities and I have no idea that you can sexually identify as a fluid..but... I LOVE GAY MEN!

P̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ ̶r̶a̶i̶l̶ ̶m̶e̶

(yeah no, I'm not that desperate like what you think. But I'm tired of being single plus my DMs are much drier than dried anchovies that my mom cooks every morning, please hit me up)