Lucifer “Spilling the Tea?"

Lucifer had his arm loosely around his Baby Girl's waist as they walked along the shaded path through the woods. The suns were setting, and the remaining light flickered through the branches, casting a dancing glow all around them. He knew she was cold, but he also knew she was stubborn and had already made up her mind. He had thought about just scooping her up but knew she would fight him, and he was too worn out for that.

"So what did you two do while I was incapacitated?" Lucifer asked as they entered the empty clearing where they had camped.

"Oh, well, not a whole lot, In truth." She shrugged, looking around at the empty space with a glowing smile that matched the feelings floating in the cool air around them, "I mean, last night I didn't see you, uh, him, much,"

"He hurt you last night. I sensed your pain," Lucifer interrupted in a low growl.

Her eyes turned to him with an annoyed glare, "For the last time, it's fine. It wasn't that bad, and honestly, I think I hurt him more when I slapped him."

Lucifer laughed loudly, remembering that moment, "That was an impressive slap. Foolish but impressive."

"Foolish?" She snapped, almost stopping, but he pulled her by the waist to keep moving. He was truly concerned about her becoming sick from her wet clothes.

"My sweet nieve Baby Girl. You still have no clue about the danger in which you and anyone else were in. With me unable to control him, if he decided to hurt you, there was absolutely nothing you are anyone else could have done."

"Okay, but he didn't. Didn't try, and only slightly threatened. I'm sure you're just as capable,"

"Yes, but I'm not a half-sane demon who acts like a child that doesn't know how to take no for an answer."

'Bit harsh there, Louie.' He heard in the back of his mind but ignored it.

"All I'm saying is just because he can doesn't mean he will." She protested.

"Anyway, what happened today?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject. "I know a few bits and pieces, but is there anything I should know about?"

"Not much. We went to the hospital. Oh, I got to drive! That was fun!" She smiled, kicking a stone along the path.

"For you, he didn't seem as pleased." Lucifer chuckled, causing his Baby Girl to smirk. "Apparently, you have a heavy foot."

"Always have." She informed, "What can I say? I like to go fast."

"He upset you on the drive."

"A little, but no worse than you have in the past." She reminded, and Lucifer felt a pang of guilt, "We got to talk a lot," She paused and chewed on her bottom lip, trying to figure out her wording, "He's interesting, for sure, and he was coming around."

"Interesting, hum?" Lucifer hummed, "He's been called many things, but interesting has got to be one of the nicer ones."

"Sure, he was a bit of an asshole, but I can't completely blame him. Your guys were at least the same level, asshole, especially Milril. I know they have bad blood, but damn."

"Yeah, those two are like fire and ice." He sighed.

"Bet that's tough."

"Not anymore." He replied, "So we're at the hospital,"

"I would tell you about the poor nurse that you practically gave a heart attack, but you already know." His Baby Doll accused, glaring up at him while Lucifer tried but failed to keep the smile off his face, "Talked to Azazel for a little while after you questioned her, and then we left the hospital and went to a little cafe,"

"A cafe?"

"Yup, I promised Lucifer that I'd get him a cookie if he behaved. It was meant as a joke, but he was quite persistent."

"Not surprised. He loves sweets, but I can imagine my father was happy about the little detour."

"Oh no, he was not." She admitted, "Though it worked out. Actually, I have some tea to spill!" She stated with a burst of excitement.

"Tea to spill?" Lucifer repeated, looking down at her, "I'm going to assume that this is another one of those phrases you like to use that I have no idea what it means."

"Ugh, it's just like you fifty thousand-year-olds! So out of touch with the kids these days." She jokingly replied, "Spilling the tea means gossiping."

"I'm not one for gossip." Lucifer quickly dismissed.

"Are you sure? You and I uncovered quite the scandal," she teased, plucking a leaf off one of the trees as they walked.

"Really?" He questioned curiously, "Go on then."

"Okay, so we leave the hospital and walk maybe a block to this cute little cafe. We go inside, and it's all but empty except for this one couple sitting at a table arguing under their breath. Lucifer, being the ass he is, tells them to leave, but the guy completely ignores him,"

"What! He ignored me?" Lucifer growled.

"Straight up, and honestly, for Lucifer, he wasn't that rude. I mean, the guy's back was facing us, so he didn't know who you were, and the girl was pretty upset and focused on the guy, but still, he didn't even bother to turn around. So Lucifer demanded they leave again, and this time, he caught their attention, but the guy still didn't turn and instead just snapped back, saying something like, 'Who are you to tell me and my girl to leave?' but his girl had looked up, and she went pale. Like, I have a tan compared to how pale she became. She tried to warn him, but he hushed her and even put a finger up to her face then pulled the 'this guy doesn't know who I am,' as he slowly turned around and then his jaw hit the fucking floor. He was speechless for a moment before they scrambled to leave. As they were leaving and he was apologizing, he said something strange at the time. He told you that the woman with him was his client."

"Client? But he called her his girl,"

"Yeah, he did! Remember that. So, they leave, and I push the odd encounter off, chalking it up to another strange day in Hell. Lucifer and I enjoy our cookie and talk a bit more before heading back to the castle, and that's where shit gets crazy. Almost as soon as we walk through the door, your dad is waiting and smacks the shit out of you,

"He hit me?" Lucifer gasped.

"Twice, and I freak out immediately thinking it was because we ran from Thron,"

"What? You ran from Thron!" Lucifer growled.

"Just home. Lucifer put me on his back and ran us home. No big deal, but then your dad starts going off about how we were supposed to come home right after the hospital and really laid into Lucifer, which really bothered me. But, he then asks Lucifer if he recognized the man in the cafe, which Lucifer says he didn't, and your father proceeds to tell us that this man complained to his dad about how Lucifer treated him and that this man's dad is a friend of your dad." She explains, tossing the leaf.

"Was he a kid or something?"

"No! This was a full adult, Luce, and he went crying to his daddy, but the dumbass lied. He said you threatened and embarrassed him in front of a bunch of people. Naturally, both Lucifer and I protested this accusation, and I explained there was only us and the two of them. Suddenly your dad's demeanor begins to change, and he starts asking questions about the couple, and with each question, he gets less and less angry. Come to find out, this guy, who I now know as Fabel, was cheating on his wife."

"No shit! Fabel, huh, what an idiot." Lucifer laughed, "Frita is going to destroy him."

"From what I heard, she isn't so faithful herself. Apparently, infidelity runs in the family."

"See, I'm just a product of my upbringing," he tried, only to get smacked in the arm. "Look, Fabel and Frita are another example of an arranged marriage, but for him to be out in the open cheating on his very powerful and prominent wife is a big issue." Lucifer tsked, "Such a shame. She was planning a huge birthday party for him in about a month. Now, I suppose it'll be a divorce party."

"Speaking of birthdays, when is the twelfth of Hell showers? Also, is there a calendar somewhere I can use to keep track of the days?" She asked.

"Why would you want to know that day?" Lucifer returned with a wary glare.

"Cause it's your birthday. I want to do something special for you."

"No," he snapped. "I do not celebrate my birthday, and how did you find out when it is?"

"Micheal told me." His Baby Girl answered.

"Micheal, as in my uncle."

"The one and only. You know that guy is a huge prick."

"When did you talk to him about my birthday?" He demanded.

"Last night." She replied.

"Fucking fuck! He's here?" Lucifer snapped, coming to a stop just short of the tree line.

"I imagine so." She shrugged, "I figured you knew. Do you and Lucifer not talk to one another?"

"Not really. Though this might have been something worth sharing!" he snarled. "Did Michael say what he was doing here?"

"He claimed he had something important to talk to both of us about once you were you again."

"Well shit, I was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with him again for another couple hundred."

"Maybe we should just get it over with?" She suggested.

"I really don't have the mental strength to put up with him tonight." Lucifer sighed, "I can already hear the criticisms and insults,"

"Okay, then, not tonight." She agreed.

"The question is, how do we get around him?" Lucifer mumbled.

"Where's his room?" His Baby Girl asked.

"He doesn't have one. Michael hates Hell. Though he loves the idea of ruining my day and hopefully my Father's, he spends as little time as possible here. Until last night, I don't think I remember him ever spending a night here." He explained, glaring at the castle from behind the trees that hid them.

"Maybe he's busy making your dad miserable, and we can very quietly sneak around him?" She proposed, "I imagine he's either in the throne room or your dad's room."

"Unfortunately, I have a feeling my Father is with Frita, which means Micheal is lurking." Lucifer deduced. "There is only one option. Climb on." He ordered, squatting down.

"Oh no, what are you planning, Luce?" She sighed hesitantly.

"Balcony." He pointed to what she could only assume was the balcony to their room.

"I don't know, Luce,"

"Baby Girl, I cannot deal with my Uncle right now,"

"Are you sure you're strong enough to do that? I mean, with me on your back?"

Lucifer stood up, pondering the idea. He felt stronger but still worn and tired. "If it were just me, but I can't leave you here."

"That's it!" she suddenly exclaimed, startling him. "Duh. You go, and I'll walk through the castle myself. If Michael finds me, I'll tell him I don't know where you are."

"So you're willing to lie to an archangel for the Devil?"

"No, but I am willing the feign ignorance for my husband." She smiled sweetly.