Wish I had a twin

Mattoe's POV,

Honestly reflecting back to yesterday happenings, I so hate myself right now.

Even though I wasn't really myself yesterday, I can still remember how my brothers came to find me and took care of my drunkass miserable self.

I seriously regrets the way I've acted towards them.

Everything I've said to Antonio, I didn't mean a single one of it.

I've always agreed with Antonio decisions because they've always been for our own good. I just said all those things to him because I felt so shamed of myself and also I was still very much affected with the break up message from Favour and reason for the break up too.

I don't really have any valid excuse to take drugs but it was the only thing I could turn to as I couldn't build the courage to go to any of my brothers for comfort. I know they'd definitely comforted me but I let my fears get the best of me and then pinned the whole thing on Antonio.

He's done nothing wrong as far as I know. He've a right to be judgemental after his

Experience with our bastard father.

Antonio doesn't deserve everything I said to him. He'd been a father to me, to all of us.

He'd always put our interest and needs first. He's the best gift I can ever ask for. How could I really say those things to him. I'm such a bastard. Now I seriously need to apologize to Antonio. But then again how can I face him?

Shit!

Right now, I'm sitting on the bed. My head hammering like someone was using axe to hit it. Well it's what I get for being an asshole.

I looked at the pain killers in my hands which I'd seen on the bed when I woke up. Without questions, I know Antonio had put them there.

I gulped some down with water and then went to take my shower. all through, I was thinking on how to face Antonio.  I know I must apologize to him but I delayed things on purpose because I don't know how to approach him.

However finally making up my mind, I went out of my room and headed for Antonio room. After knocking severally on the door and he didn't respond, I know he wasn't in. I heaved a relieve sigh and went to his office. Same thing. He wasn't in.

Where could he be this early? I mean it was just 5Am.

Anyway Maybe this is a cue for me to prepare myself to face him later.

I don't know why but while walking past the room for shooting exercise, I decided to go there.

It's been long I aim at target board. So I went in with my gun with the intention to go clear my mind but when I got in, I met Antonio there shooting.

My heart honestly skipped at the sight of him.

I suddenly didn't have the courage to face him this time because I seriously didn't expect to meet him here so I tried escaping but his sharp eyes caught me.

"Don't worry mattoe you can come join me" he said, his eyes not leaving the board he was aiming at.

He usually does this when he's overwhelmed with problems. We all do this when we are down.

Swallowing lumps, I went to stand beside him.

"Trust you'd a goodnight rest. Yeah?" He asked dryly.

"Yeah" I said quietly. Actually I really did not after sleeping like a dead ass and woke up to a banging headache.

Moment of silence passed between us and none of us said anything. The thing is I was waiting for him to scold me about yesterday so I'll start apologizing.

"I thought you came here to test your aiming skill. What are you doing?" Was what he said to break the silence. After mouthing an 'o' I brought out my gun, wore my helmet and starts firing at the target board. I missed just few shots but won most shots.

With a pat on my back, Antonio commended me with a smile and it took me back to childhood days when we'd often do this for the fun.

"You never fail to amaze me Mattoe. You are all so good at this" Antonio said nodding.

"Thanks bro. I learnt from you so you're the best" I couldn't help but smile.

"Uhm...Antonio..." I called quietly. I needed to make  a move as Antonio wasn't ready to.

"About everything that happened yesterday. I'm really sorry. Trust me I didn't mean any of those things I said to you. I was just really out of my damn mind." I said under my breath bitting my lips.

Antonio stared at me for a while, almost like he was awed and then he heaved with a sigh.

"Cmon mattoe you really don't have to apologize. I was the one at fault.

I easily judged you just because of our dad's mistake." He said wearily. This side  of Antonio is very rare. He's only this weary each time it comes to the topic of our parents and I felt so much like shit remembering  him of his past.

"Antonio I'm really sorry. I really am" I apologized again. "And it's not your fault that you're being judgemental. I totally understood you. I should understand you. I mean you've always been sacrificing a lot for everyone of us. You've been our backbone and the parents I never had. I rarely say this but thank you so much Antonio."

"You don't have to thank me. I mean you guys are all that I've left so it's my right to look out for the welfare of you all. I could die if anything happen to anyone of you." Antonio said with a small smile then he asked me one question I've always dread. "What's going on with you mattoe? Why are you really taking drugs? You know you can confide me right?"

If only it's a situation that's that easy.

"Don't worry Antonio I'm fine now...I'll be fine. It's nothing you should worry about trust me" I assured and thankfully Antonio didn't push it. He just nodded with a sigh.

In his eyes, I know he really wants to know my problems but I just don't have the courage to out myself to him and that made me feel more like a bastard for denying him that.

"Antonio do you think mother could be still alive?" I asked Antonio out of the blue. Maybe to change the topic but It's really been one thing that's been lingering in my mind.

Antonio frowned in shock for a while. " well I want to believe that she is. Of course she should be alive and I intend to find her soon." Antonio said gazing far into space.

I and Antonio shot at the target board for half of the morning and we were back to normal.

He didn't even scold me about last night drinking, I'd even forgotten about it well not until Jayden walked into us a the passageway while we where heading to our sisters rooms.

He was on athletic outfits and he was sweating profusely evidence that he've gone out for a workout.

"And here comes the award winning drunk of the house. When it's the next show coming up?" He didn't bother to hide the sarcasm in his voice and that riled me up a bit but I tried to contain it. Considering that he helped me yesterday and I'm really on the wrong.

"I'm really sorry for getting myself drunk and being a Burden to you guys. I'll try not to make it happen again" I said apologetically.

"You'd better keep to that. Because the next time you decides to be an asshole and drink your brains out instead of settling our misunderstanding amicably, you won't like me anymore." Jayden strictly.

Well who ever told him I like him before? tsk.

"Please don't start Jayden and Good morning to you too" Antonio intercede.

"Of course I am not intending to cause any troubles." Jayden defended and then turned back to face me. " now that you're apparently back to your senses mattoe  I think it's high time for us to talk about your weird behavour and activities of lately. The calls, texts, getting drunk and making a joke out of yourself out there in some bars. What the hell happened yesterday. No what exactly have been going on? What the hell are you hiding from us?" Jayden lashed out bluntly.

"Jayden please not now." I contended under my breath.

But trust Jayden to be so stubborn and impulsive then he'll deliver.

"Then when? Till you completely looses your  mind and be a reproach to not only yourself  but everyone of us? Look mattoe I won't have you continue getting drunk, and getting into a drunk fight while I go through all the stress of fixing your drunk ass up. You'd better start telling us what we need to know so we can fucking  help you as your brothers"  even though Jayden was yelling angrily, I know he was being so concerned about me.

I opened my mouth to say something but then a voice interrupted me.

"Will you guys not be so loud? It's fucking still early" we turned to meet Racheal rubbing her sleepy eye as she whined.

"Hey recheal how are you doing?" Antonio said with a brief smile.

"Good morning baby how was your night?" I added quietly with a smile.

"You know it isn't nice to interrupt a conversation like that right?" Jayden deadpanned making rechel's scrunched her nose. She frowned hard at Jayden and then rolled her eyes dramatically throwing him a 'whatver'

Jayden ignored her and continued to press me into telling them what's going on with me?

Antonio insisted that he shouldn't pressure me, perharps we could talk about this another day which of course I really do appreciate.

I thought I was free not until Jayden next words that made my heart flew.

"Right since we aren't talking about that at least let's talk about the baby and princess you were rambling about yesterday."

I went on electric mode for a long time as I remembered yesterday.

"Yeah mattoe tell us. Do you have a girlfriend?" Antonio asked humorously.

Racheal who was just coming out from the kitchen with a cup of water slightly flinched.

"What...? What the hell are you guys talking about?" I played ignorance. Blinking my lashes. Jayden tried to elaborate but I just dodged the question by saying. "Whatever I must have said yesterday, It's the influence of alcohol. Can't even remember I said anything like that. I'm having slight headache. I'll head to my room for now..."

Jayden tried to stop me obviously none of them believing  me but I walked out in haste.

Racheal's POV,

"You are quite close to mattoe Racheal. Is he dating?" I almost choked on my water as Antonio asked that the moment mattoe hurried out of sight.

After exchanging looks between Jayden and Antonio who were keenly staring at me like I was with thier birthright, I sighed.

"How the hell am I to know that?" I know, I know so much about mattoe but one thing is certain: he doesn't have a girlfriend but he's dating. However it's not on me to tell our brothers that if mattoe doesn't want to spill the shit.

"It was just a question Racheal." Jayden says rolling his eyes as he walked past me.

"fine whatever. I'm starving what are we having for breakfast?" I asked Antonio, pouting like a baby making Antonio chuckle.

"Come here. what would you want for breakfast? And where's your twin?" Antonio said while making his way to the kitchen.

"She's With Liam." I said following him.

Liam's POV.

I just hate school for many reasons but the top most of them all, is getting to wake up to a fucking alarm every morning just so I catch up with school on time.

I mean I love being in control of how long I sleep and not being controlled by a motherfucking alarm.

After tapping my phone to stop the bastard from shouting, I headed to the restroom.

There, I did my shit and at 7, I was done getting primped up for school.

I do wear the school outfit, which is a navy tux trouser and white sleeves but I don't  wear that stupid tie and sandals. I go with a timber land.

Getting all set for school, I decided to head up to the kitchen to make my breakfast for myself but then I realized I now have another highschooler in the house whom like me, doesn't like school.

So I headed for Racheal's room to go check whether she was up but getting there, I didn't find her.

I got worried a bit but then went to check Clarissa room. To my surprise, she was sleeping on the same bed with clarrissa. They looked so adorable and I couldn't help the smile that crept to my face. For all the time i stared at them, I wished I was a twin too.