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The Crafter and The Slug

Zach is a normal human thrown into something completely out of this world. He meets a Legendary Sannin in a bar and gets his ass whopped while his friend stands there and watches. Then gets blessed by a couple gods only to be put into a cheesy rom-com movie situation. Follow the lovey-dovey story of a man who's pull-out game is weak and the princess of Konohagakure. Can he survive on Naruto's world, or will he have to build a Death Star and just say screw it? Heads up, I know the beginning is really rough I'm sorry. I'm not good at starting stories, or even writing them. This is my third attempt at writing and the longest so far. I'm trying to keep to a two-a-day release schedule. From what I've been told the story picks up after Ch. 16, but he doesn't get very bad*ss until around Ch. 19 Discord: https://discord.gg/Eph2esQ

Yay_Pepto · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
79 Chs

Ch.68

-- Zach POV --

The next morning I woke up and snuck out of bed to make breakfast and some coffee for me and Tsunade. During the process, I had turned on the tv in the living room to listen to the morning news. They had a feel-good piece about an at-risk student baseball team that had been winning baseball games. I mainly tuned it out until something caught my ear and I stopped what I was doing to listen.

Female Anchor: "In other news, last night there were reports of a serious scuffle at the critically acclaimed restaurant Kajiya. More on that story is Rachel Haddox."

Rachel: "Thanks, Barbara. I'm here with Tony Stark who was assaulted last night by the Kajiya's owner and wife. Could you please tell us what happened Mr. Stark?"

Tony: "Rachel just call me Tony, we've known each other long enough."

You could hear the faintest, "Come on Tony, we're live."

Tony: "Well last night Obadiah Crane and I were having a wonderful dinner. When the owner's wife came in with our food and tried to seduce me. I firmly denied her since she was a married woman, I may be a playboy but I have my limits."

By now my anger had started to boil over and killing intent was leaking out. That caused Tsunade to rush into the living room in full momma bear gonna fuck your shit up mode. She looked around and didn't see the threat and she followed my eyes to the TV where Tony was being interviewed.

Rachel: "That sounds horrible, what happened next?"

Tony: "Well after I refused her she seemed to get irrationally angry and held me against the wall with a knife to my neck."

I could hear the gasp from the reporter.

Rachel: "Oh my god, are you ok Tony?"

Tony: "I'm still standing, but I was rightly terrified. To make matters worse the owner came in spitting mad then grabbed my throat. He didn't even ask any questions as he carried me from the private room to where he literally threw me out the door, all by my throat."

Looking at the TV I could see the giant bruise shaped just like my hand. That gave me a little satisfaction, and the reporter gasped again playing up the situation.

Rachel: "Has anything become of the owner and his wife?"

Tony smirked and looked directly into the camera.

Tony: "I went by police headquarters today to report it. Also, I've been in talks with my lawyers to file a civil suit."

Rachel: "You heard it first on Channel 3, thank you so much Tony for shedding light on this heinous incident."

Tony: "I just want justice."

Rachel: "I'm sure I can speak for everyone, we do too. Back to you Barbara."

I turned off the TV and just stared at the blank screen for a bit. It didn't take long for Tsunade to speak up.

Tsunade: "What do we do?"

Zach: "We find a lawyer. I'll take care of that if you would take care of the kids"

Tsunade nodded at that and went off to tend to the twins. I went over to a cabinet that contained a couple of phone books that I had picked up when we did the tours. Flipping through the pages I found the section for lawyers and started to call down the list in alphabetical order.

It had been 4 hours of non-stop calling and I was beyond frustrated. Once they heard my name the lawyer's office usually hung up. The couple that I was actually able to talk to proceeded to hang up when they heard the case would be against Tony Stark. It's sad that even in this world the rich are trying to fuck over those they view beneath them. But unlike in my world, I have power, and something worth fighting for.

When I got to the W's my bad luck finally ran out. After dialing the number it only took a couple of seconds for someone to answer the phone.

???: "Thank you for calling Walters Lawfirm, my name is Jennifer. How may I help you?"

Zach: "Hello, my name is Zachary Briggs and I'm in need of a lawyer."

Jennifer: "Wait, the Zachary Briggs, who owns Kajiya?"

Zach: "That would be me, is there a problem?"

Jennifer: "No way! I was at your restaurant last night when you threw at shit-bag Stark out!"

I was shocked at that. She doesn't like Stark and saw at least half of the incident.

Zach: "Well, that's what I'm calling about. He's apparently pressing charges and going to sue us in civil court."

Jennifer: "Good for you for fighting back, he pressured one of my female friends a while back into sleeping with him. He then gave her some hush money, he's so disgusting."

Zach: "Yeah… So, can you put me in touch with one of your lawyers so I can see if they'll take my case?"

Jennifer: "Oh they'll definitely take the case."

Zach: "How can you be so sure?"

Jennifer: "Because I'm the only one here, and I am the lawyer."

You could hear it in her voice that she was grinning at that. I was a bit hesitant about accepting this lawyer's help now. Before I could hang up on the solo act she spoke up.

Jennifer: "You can try to call the rest of the lawyers after me, but no one else would go against Stark."

I stayed quiet for a couple of seconds.

Zach: "How long have you been practicing law?"

Jennifer: "Just opened my law office last week."

We both remained quiet at that. I guess this would be her big lucky break. I wasn't so helpless as everyone thought, I had an ace in the hole.

Zach: "Good, you're hired."

Jennifer: "YES! My first case!"

Zach: "I have audio and video of the room and the rest of the restaurant. It's crystal clear, and you can hear every word spoken."

The only reply I got was the sound of her phone hitting something, and I loud long scream of joy. Mixed in that scream of joy is what I thought was, "JACKPOT!" and "SLAM DUNK!" I let Jennifer tire herself out before I heard her pick the phone back up.

Jennifer: "Urgh-hmm, sorry about that. I'll be over right away to go over what you need to do."

Zach: "You know where we live?"

Jennifer: "Uhh, shit. Where do you live again?"

I chuckled at her scatterbrained excitement. At the very least this would be a more fun ride than last time. Worst-case scenario we just re-locate, best case I own Stark Industries.

Zach: "We live on the 3rd floor of the building where the restaurant is. You'll enter the door on the side and take the elevator, we're 301."

I could hear her scribbling on paper.

Jennifer: "Got it! I'll be over there as quick as I can!"

She hung up the phone and I chuckled and hung up mine. I went to our room to see Tsunade in bed feeding the kiddos 2nd lunch. Tsunade looked at me when I entered the room and saw the smile I was wearing.

Tsunade: "Good news?"

Zach: "It'll be interesting at least. Our lawyer's name is Jennifer Walters, and it'll be her first case."

Tsunade frowned at that, and I just shrugged at her as I started to get undressed to take a shower.

Tsunade: "What? Now? I'm feeding the kids!"

I laughed hard at that and shook my head as I walked to the bathroom and started the shower.

Zach: "As much as I'd love to, we've got to get showered and dressed. She's on her way here and I still need to go downstairs to get the videotape from the security cameras."

Tsunade harrumphed at that and I could see a hint of disappointment. Trust me, honey, I want to ravage you more and get my share of the milk. But duty calls, and I need to keep us out of prison for our children's sake.

I took a quick shower and dressed, then I took custody of the sleeping twins as she took a quick shower. Once she was done and dressed I gave the twins back to her and made my way down to my office in the restaurant where the security system was based. After grabbing the tapes I went to the side door to make sure it was unlocked for Jennifer then went back upstairs to the apartment.

When I arrived back I found Tsunade and the kids in the living room. The TV was on and she was watching a rerun of a FRIENDS episode while the kids were in their floor chairs playing with the little knick-knacks on them. I walked to them, bent down, and kissed the two before making my way and kissing Tsunade. When I sat down next to her I wrapped my arm around her and she laid her head on my shoulder. We watched the kids and FRIENDS until Jennifer arrived.

Jennifer's arrival came when there was an excitedly frantic knock. Tsunade groaned at having to lose her living pillow as I extracted my arm around her and got up. As soon as I opened the door a female hand shot forward for a handshake, I mindlessly took it and shook it.

Jeniffer: "Hello, I'm Jennifer! Now let's see this video."

I gave a nervous chuckle as I let her inside and closed the door behind her. I led her to the living room where the family was, and the TV. When we arrived Tsunade had gotten up and met us with her hand out, Jennifer quickly took it and shook.

Jennifer: "Nice to meet you, ma'am. My name is Jennifer Walters and I'll be your lawyer. I'm sorry that shit-bag is doing all this to your family."

Tsunade: "Hello Jennifer, I'm Tsunade nice to meet you."

By the look in Tsunade's eyes, Jennifer had won her approval. Jennifer finally caught a glimpse of the twins and then lost her shit. She hurriedly went over to the two and squatted down, cooing and making silly sounds to them. Tsunade leaned over and whispered in my ear.

Tsunade: "It will be interesting, I like her."

I laughed at both their antics.

Zach: "Jennifer, I'd like you to meet our babies. The boy is Vulcan and the girl is Hitomi."

Jennifer spoke to them in her baby voice.

Jennifer: "Nice to meet you Hitomi and Vulcan, I'm Jenn and I'll be helping out your mommy and daddy."

Hitomi and Vulcan gave coos and giggles of approval for the silly lawyer, and it confirmed my belief in picking her. Even if it is her first case, she at the very least treats my family well. That will pay her dividends later and it wouldn't matter if we win or lose the case.

Jennifer finally broke away from the babies and turned to us with a big smile.

Jennifer: "So, can I see the videos?"

Zach: "I'd thought you'd never ask."

I led Tsunade to the couch and directed Jennifer to the love seat. After the two were settled I went to the TV and popped the footage of the private room in the VCR. I grabbed the VCR controller and took a couple of steps back and pressed play.

Once the shot of the room with Tony and Obadiah in it came on the TV I sat down next to Tsunade. We watched as the waiter took their drink orders and brought their first drinks, Tony had started out with a double scotch. I decided to explain a couple of behind the scene things.

Zach: "I knew Tony was a womanizer, so I had only male waiters serve them."

Jennifer: "Smart, but what caused you to go in there Tsunade?"

Tsunade: "All the guys were busy when it was time to bring their food. So the waiter came and got me. I figured being Zach's wife he wouldn't do anything, and I wouldn't dare put any of the other girls at risk."

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. If any other ninja was in there, they probably would have castrated him. I'm surprised Tsunade didn't. While we talked I continued to watch the video and saw Tony drinking the scotch like he was fish. He was probably 4 doubles in by the time the food arrived. When I saw Tsunade walk in my heart clinched because I knew what would happen, even though I had not seen it yet. She silently snaked her hand into mine and interlaced her fingers with mine then squeezed my hand tightly. The tension left me with her touch re-assuring me.

[ Tony: "I'll have you first and we can eat together."

Tsunade: "My husband wouldn't like that, and I'm not that kind of woman."]

Watching the video made me want to lose my shit. But I couldn't with the kids and Jennifer here. So I bared it with gritted teeth and squeezed Tsunade's hand as I saw the drunken waste of breath go off his chair. Both our grips got tighter as Tony moved behind Tsunade and held his waist against her behind. Then all my rage disappeared and turned to pride as she dropped everything, took out her hairpin dagger, and had it at Tony's throat and pinned to the wall.

Jennifer: "Holy shit Tsunade, you kick ass."

We continued to watch as Tsunade held him there with the knife to his throat, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted to kill the man. Not even 20 seconds later there is me showing up and going straight ham as I grabbed his neck. Tsunade surprised me as she yelled beside me on the couch.

Tsunade: "That's my man! God, you were so hot there baby."

Jennifer: "Totally."

I stared at Tsunade who in turn stared at Jennifer. Jennifer felt the death gaze of Tsunade and looked at her questioningly.

Jennifer: "What? As much as I'm all Ra! Ra! Girl Power! There is just something about when a man defends what is his."

Tsunade: "Well a girl has to defend what's hers too. Don't get any ideas, I've stared down Goddesses and they blinked first."

Jennifer nervously chuckled at that. I got up and went to the TV to switch out the video with the one from the hallway that showed me carrying him out by his neck and sat back down. Tsunade started to squirm next to me and placed our hands in between her thighs. I engaged the best poker face I had ever done as we watched the finale. Once I threw Tony out and banned him I stopped the tape and we all sat there in silence until Jennifer broke it.

Jennifer: "So, how do you want to play this? Do you want to go for the money?"

Zach: "What do you think is the best course of action?"

Jennifer was silent for a minute before answering.

Jennifer: "As a lawyer, I'd say go with the police let them bring charges, and let Stark file the civil suit. It would be the most profitable."

Tsunade: "What does Jennifer want?"

She fidgeted at that.

Jennifer: "Release it to the media, maybe it'll cause some women to come forward about him. I doubt it, but there is always a chance. Plus it will show that women aren't weak and inspire more of them to stand up for themselves."

Zach: "Good thing I made copies."

Jennifer's eyes sparkled at that and she regained the energy she had when she first arrived. I decided that it was going to be a fun week and kissed Tsunade.

Zach: "So, who's hungry? I can order from downstairs or I can make us something."

Before Tsunade could answer Jennifer did.

Jennifer: "RAMEN PLEASE!"