I love him

"He is not a part of my world. He is my world."

Anna whispered as she gently moved her fingers on the photo frame in her hand. She lingered her sight at the picture that it contained.

"These words never meant so much to me. But they do now. You are the first one with whom I am sharing my heart Ashton." She paused and inhaled deeply before accepting her feelings. "I love him."

She muttered softly and closed her eyes to relish those words that brought immeasurable content and peace to her heart as if relieving her from all the burdens and baggages that she was carrying till now.

"Would it be selfish of me to say that I still love you. You are an inseparable part of my life that will always be close and dear to my heart. But I am in love with him. I love Regan. I don't know when and how, but now when I think about it, it feels so surreal that I can't believe that it's the same me to say these words. He changed me so much, but I am happy Ashton to be a part of his life.....You understand me, right? He has surpassed the barriers and penetrated deep into my heart without my knowledge. I never once thought to move on in my life. These two words were so surreal for me, but he changed everything and I didn't even realize it that I love him. Someone other than you. These words..... This feeling is so strange, so overwhelming, but it still makes me feel complete and absolute. I know how fragile and vulnerable I have been, but I want to be strong Ashton. Strong enough to face my fears, strong enough to love again, strong enough to take the risk of being broken again..... I have went through loses that have shattered my heart and soul, but I am willing to take this risk again as I know he is worth my life and I want to give him my everything that is left in me."

By the time she finished, her face was streaked with tears and eyes puffy, but she still felt a wave of euphoria streaming in her body by accepting her feelings. Her eyes rested on the ring that adorned her finger since many years. A fresh droplet of the warm liquid from her eye fell down on his picture as she gently removed it with her trembling hand and controlled the sob that escaped her lips. Realizing that if she really wanted to move on, she had to move away and leave her past. It was difficult but she mustered every ounce of her strength to do it to make things right.....for her and him.

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The car ride back to home was silent. Although, she tried to maintain her composure by continuously looking outside the window, she couldn't help but frequently glanced in Regan's direction. Her face would light up with a soft smile whenever she looked at him. She was unknowingly fiddling with her fingers not knowing how to tell him about her new found feelings. She was a simple person who didn't know to hide her emotions when she felt something strongly. She knew that she had made him wait for a long time that was more than enough and she didn't want him to wait anymore. She had already decided to tell him about her feelings as soon as they reach home.

The moment they stepped inside, Regan excused himself and went to the study saying that he had some urgent business that couldn't wait till the next morning. Anna reluctantly agreed and decided to wait for him. Even after a couple of hours when he didn't return, she drifted into a deep slumber waiting for him.

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Regan was in his study with a glass of wine in his hand, head rested on the back of his chair lost in deep thoughts. He wanted to go back to her as he knew she must be waiting for him, but didn't have the courage to see her then.

The sight of her sitting on that bed with Ashton's photograph was imbibed in his memory and the more he tried to get it out of his head, it hovered over his mind to make him crazy. He had intended to go and call her to leave but was taken aback with what he saw. He couldn't hear what she had said, but he still understood everything. The way her face was glowing with a beaming sparkle in her empty eyes was something that he always wanted to see. But today, when he saw that, he was surrounded in desolation of not being the reason behind it. He couldn't understand how a mere photograph was able to light her face with such warmth and content that his love couldn't give her. He was jealous and furious. With him. With her. With everything. He knew he had no right. He knew his promise to accept everything the way it was, but witnessing the depth of her love for Ashton with his own eyes....He felt as if was stabbed brutally. The pain was unbearable. He knew it was selfish of him to have those thoughts, but he felt as if his heart was crumpled and he didn't know how to gather the shreds of his lost hope to be loved by her. Ever. It was easier said than done. He had always assured her that his love was enough for both of them, but the more he went closer to her, the more his heart unknowingly wanted and expected more from her, especially after her confession that she liked him too. He wasn't upset with her, but furious with himself for having those thoughts, for being selfish and giving more importance to his heart than her happiness.....even if it was just for a few seconds.

He was unable to meet her eyes. He had noticed how she had wanted to talk to him about something, but he left her alone in the middle of that room which suddenly looked too crowded to breathe and suffocated him. He left her like a coward. He told that he would return back soon, but it was the last the thing on his mind as he wanted to stay away from her, as far as possible, to collect the broken pieces of his heart that were scattered just like him.

The next morning Anna woke up alone on the cold bed beside her. She had expected to see him as usual, but the neat side of the bed opposite to her suggested that he wasn't beside her the entire night. The anxiety of him being bothered by something to keep him awake and away from her filled her heart with an uncertainty and melancholy that she couldn't dechiper. She quickly darted out to see him, but was greeted by Briella who informed her that he left early in the morning without having breakfast. The frown on her face made Briella to explain further how he had an early meeting that couldn't be avoided and he had to rush early.

It was like a deja vu. She remembered the last time when he left her, how miserable she had been. She didn't want to go through that same turmoil again. Still keeping the negative thoughts away and considering his reason, she half heartedly got ready for the day, but made sure to pack a couple of his favorite dishes for breakfast that he missed. She reached the office an hour early to talk to him, but to her disappointment he wasn't present at the time and eventually decided to pour her attention in her work as she knew he would be more eager to meet her as soon as he would step in.

The whole day passed by as she had back to back meetings and she couldn't get to see him for once because of their clashing and tight schedules. She had called him a few times, but everytime her call went to the voicemail where she even dropped a message and asked if something was wrong. She was desperate to see and talk to him and decided to wrap up in the evening so as to meet him at home.

She was on her way back to home with Zander when she got a call and she felt as if her world came crashing down in an instant.