Because you love him.....

The next week, Emily and Jack invited Regan and Anna for a family dinner to celebrate the arrival of the new member, Gianna Blossom in the family.

Anna had brought numerous gifts for her as she couldn't contain her excitement in watching all the adorable stuff while shopping. They had pleasantly finished the dinner and were talking about random things. When Anna's eyes landed on Regan, she couldn't help but chuckled on his futile attempts to make Gia smile who was looking at him with her doe eyes. She looked extremely tiny in his arms, but it was a sight to watch him mingle with the little angel.

"Who would have thought that he would be her one of the favourite person amongst us?"

Emily said while grinning and Anna's smile widened on hearing her.

"He loves her already."

"Hmmm....But he loves you more."

She instantly flushed on Emily's remark which made her laugh on her reaction.

"Don't you remember what did he say last week?"

Anna recalled his words that brought a smile on her face now, but had created a havoc in her mind then.

"We are not going to have any baby."

As soon as Regan's cold voice had reached her ears, she had turned to his side with wide eyes, still trying to process and understand his words. Neither she was ready to take a further step in their relationship nor had she thought about it before. Nonetheless, his abrupt declaration dumbstrucked her to no point. She thought he loved her and would be willing to..... She was trying to be as good and compatible to him as he was to her.

'Am I not good enough for him?' She thought.

On the other end, while Emily was shocked at his words, Jack was furious on him. Regan was standing besides Anna with a deep frown on his face while looking at the baby.

"Why? Don't you like babies?" Emily asked him curiously.

He sighed not exactly knowing how to explain.

"I do, but I don't want Anna to go through the pain that you suffered from." He glanced at Emily and shrugged nonchalantly. "You literally burned my ears with your screams. Indeed she is precious, but I don't even want to think about the pain in that process." He possessievly encircled his arms around Anna's shoulders and pulled her closer.

"I love her too much to let her suffer. If it means no babies, then be it."

While Emily and Jack guffawed on the most unexpected reply, Anna looked at him with different emotions swirling in her eyes.

Jack however controlled his laughter and looked at Anna. He could see and understand her state of mind on his reply.

"Don't you want a family then? A baby completes the family Regan."

"She is my family and everything else that I want to feel complete. So we don't need one."

His reply silenced them all and before he could made to understand what he was saying, they were interrupted by the doctor. On one hand, where Anna felt like the ground may swallow her due to his open display of affection, on the other hand, she felt more loved and cherished still unaware about the extent of his love.

A small smile erupted on her face when she remembered that day. She shook her head and looked in his direction. He and Jack had taken little Gianna with them for a walk while she and Emily were seated beside the fireplace as it was a cold evening.

"When I met him for the first time, I didn't know he would be like this."

"Like what?"

Emily leaned forward and rested her chin on her palm while wiggling her brows that caught Anna's attention from Regan to her.

"Did I say that loud?"

"Umhm...." Emily laughed out loud which embarrassed her.

"Oh!"

"Come on baby girl! Just say it okay."

She looked in his direction and found him rocking Gia in his arms to lull her to sleep while talking with Jack at the same time. She sighed as she spoke.

"I thought he would be insolent.....conceited.... crude..... intimidating and..... just as people presumed him to be....." She shook her head on her false assumptions about him and licked her lips. "But he was nothing like that."

"Then how was he?"

"He was" She closed her eyes as she remembered the day when she ran into him falling into his arms while he held her from going down, just as he had always been with her till date. "He was polite .....chivalrous.....courteous.....

gallant.....and a bit intimidating but in a good way."

Emily smiled on hearing her and decided to probe her more to make her realize the things which were clearly seen in her eyes but she was unable to understand.

"Are you happy with him Anna?"

Anna moved her gaze to Emily while she held her hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Does he make you happy? Whatever the reasons maybe, this marriage was an imposition. I just want to know if he is good to you. I know he is.....I can see that. It's just that I want to hear it from you baby girl. I just....."

"Does he make me happy?" She inhaled deeply before answering. "He makes me happy all the time. Happiness. It was one of the many things that I lost in my life. But he brought it back along with the other things. Happiness, trust, hope, love.....everything." A lump formed in her throat while her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I had thought that marrying him was the biggest mistake of my life. I had never thought of giving into this relationship so easily. I had thought that I would hate him for what he did...But I couldn't do that. I couldn't do any of it. He broke all my barriers, all my inhibitions and accepted me the way I am. Lost, broken and fragile."

"Anna!"

"He is too good for me. Too kind and understanding. Sometimes I don't understand.....how to return him the things that he do for me or make me feel. "A painful expression covered her face as she looked in his direction. "My happiness makes him happy and I intend to be happy...for him. I just don't want to hurt him. Ever."

"Don't Anna. Don't compel yourself to do anything that's too overwhelming for you. Take your time. I know it's not easy for you to accept all this so easily but....."

"Isn't it what you have always wanted for me?" She cut her with a little disdain in her voice.

"Please baby girl. Forgive me and dad for doing this to you. We just wanted you to be happy. And we knew Regan could be the one behind it."

"And what about him Em? What about his happiness.....his feelings? Did you ever think about him?" She whisper yelled and shook her head thinking if she would ever be able to understand her.....how she felt due to this.

Emily looked down on her accusations. She knew she was right as they never bothered about anyone or anything except her happiness.

"Initially, I was furious with all of you because I thought you did wrong to me.....But it wasn't me Em. It was never about me. I am angry with you, with dad and even with myself.....because I have all of you to take care of me. But what about him? Why does he have to suffer because of my overbearing past? Why is he being punished for loving me? He deserves all the happiness of the world. Sometimes, I think if I am even worthy of his selfless love."

"Anna....."

"When I met him for the first time, I had already lost everything. Still he fell for me. He poured his love into an abyss. He hanged onto something that was so incomprehensible. When I told him that I won't be able to give him anything.... he told me that he want nothing. How can I avoid him when he has laid his heart out for me without any expectations and demands." A tear escaped from the corner of her eye. "He makes me feel safe, warm and loved. Just one look at him, I feel like home. I want to give him the same things Em. I want to change.....move on.....for him."

Emily teary eyes looked at her with a soft smile.

"Then move on for him Anna. Give him everything that you have and he deserves."

"How? I can't.....I can't forget Ashton. Every time his thoughts cross my mind, I feel like I am betraying Regan. He was my world Em. He still is. A month before this wedding, he used to be my everything. My days started with his thoughts and would end with only his name. But now.....everything is changed. He is not a part of my thoughts anymore. He is not the reason of my nightmares anymore. Just because of Regan. Because of his love, understanding, warmth. Because of everything that he has given me. And after all this, when I still think about Ashton.....I feel like I am betraying him and disrespecting his love."

She stood up to leave not able to continue, but Emily's voice stopped her before she could leave.

"Come with me Anna."

Shortly, they were standing outside her bedroom which was Ashton's. When Emily turned the door knob to get in, Anna stood rooted on her place. She never once visited her room since the day she married Regan. His memories were imbibed in her heart and so was he. The day he died, he gave her his everything along with his bedroom which was one of the few things that reminded her his presence in her life. All this time, she had avoided to come there as she was afraid to break down, but here she was, so close to him and his memories, yet so far from him.

"I know what you are thinking, but nothing has changed baby girl. This room is still yours just as him."

Emily took her inside and she finally broke down unable to control the emotions that flooded through her eyes. Her eyes wandered to every nook and corner of the room which was filled with his essence and memories. She went to the bedside table and took his photograph while caressing it. She didn't even realize that Emily had already left her hand. She was still admiring his picture when his voice echoed in her ears and she got dumbstruck not expecting to hear his voice after so long.

'Annie...

Would you hate me for breaking my promise? My promise to never leave you. I want to say so much...but I don't think I have enough time or strength to do so. I am sorry for not protecting you love. I am sorry to let you go through such pain in front of my own eyes. I am sorry for everything. I may not be alive after this but I want you to live my love..... as the strongest person you are. Live for me Anna. Don't ever give up on yourself. When you will open your eyes, you may not find me near you, but I will always be around you. I want you to see happy Annie. I know it would be difficult but don't give up ever. Hold on to your dreams and happiness for me. I will rest in peace if I would get to see you smile. I love.....I love you Annie and I know how much you love me, but don't let my love be the barrier to your happiness. Take care of you for me...I love you.'

A sob escaped from her lips as the voice stopped reminding his last words that were laced with love and concern for her. He was in the ambulance when he had asked Emily to record his last words for her. He was barely able to speak. His critical condition was evident in his voice which seemed to be a painful cry in a trembling tone afflicted by enormous pain. He still poured his heart leaving away his final words for her, still thinking about only her. She turned around to find Emily with the recorder in her hand. Her own eyes were flowing down, but she held her gaze. She came closer and hugged her tight.

"Didn't he want it too Anna? Your happiness? Now that you have found it, what's stopping you? You are not betraying anyone baby girl. You deserve the world. He has been your everything and would always be, but you can't deny the feelings that you have harbored for Regan. You are willing to do anything for him, aren't you? Do you know why? Because you love him baby girl."

As soon as those words left Emily's mouth, Anna pulled away, appalled from her straight declaration.

"Yes, you do Anna. May be he is not your world yet, but he is definitely a part of it. An inseparable part. Stop fighting yourself. Stop betraying yourself. Accept what you feel and embrace it wholeheartedly. You deserve this and so as he. Don't deny your heart anymore."

Saying that, Emily left, compelling her to think over what she said.