Yuki

"I know I'll enjoy it, but I enjoy it even more when I know it's good for you, too. When I said 'as long as you enjoy it', I meant 'as long as you aren't forcing yourself'. What's the point if you don't enjoy it? If you're not you when we're doing… that, then I don't want to do it. I like doing it with you... Ah… this is complicated to explain…" I mumble, though Suna chuckles, his eyes softening as he smiles at me. "No… I think I get it. I like doing it with you too, a lot… but you're right, if you didn't enjoy it, it wouldn't be the same. So… I'm going to take my time to truly appreciate you, because I want to." Suna says and I feel my cheeks burn as I purse my lips. "Oh. Um, okay… that's uh… totally fine. I mean… no one's ever told me that… I uh… shit." I mumble as my heart flutters, covering my face as I feel my body burn. "Wait, are you embarrassed?" Suna chuckles, brushing my hands away from my face as I bite my bottom lip. "What? Me? Embarrassed? No… just… it made my heart flutter. Is that normal?" I ask and this time Suna's cheeks tint pink, his eyes softening as his smile spreads. "I dunno, but mine just did." He whispers and suddenly I feel shy, staring into his eyes as I slide my hand to his chest.

I lay my hand over his heart and he chuckles, leaning down and his lips over mine softly. His heart stutters in his chest and I feel like a thousand butterflies took flight in my veins, my breath catching in my throat. I can't help but feel a little giddy as a smile spreads over my face, feeling myself turn to goosh. "You know… moments like this? It makes it worth it… all the bullshit, the pain, the fear, the sadness… and then the butterflies come, and I just… I feel so happy… it makes me feel okay, in a world where shit just isn't okay." I whisper and Suna chuckles, his heart pounding in his chest as he leans down and kisses my cheek. "The butterflies?" He asks and I giggle, putting my other hand to my chest. "I don't know what it is… but there are times when it feels like millions of butterflies fluttering through me, starting in my chest." I croak and he smiles widely, chuckling as he closes his eyes. "Ah, butterflies." He hums, leaning down and kissing as I let my eyes fall closed. His heart pounds against my hand, his lips soft on mine, flowing as I slid my other hand up to twine fingers with his. He squeezes my hand softly, his hot tongue brushing over my bottom lip, though I greet it with mine.

Our tongues tangle in a slow dance, Suna's other hand sliding down and stroking my hip gently with his thumb. I moan softly, sliding my hand up into his hair tilting my head lightly. He deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth, exploring as I feel his body heat melt me. He pulls away from the kiss, dropping his lips down to my neck, softly and gently kissing my pulse. I suck in a sharp breath as I feel my heart stutter, Suna's lips tracing my pulse as he hums softly. He nips my neck and I jump, gasping as he chuckles softly. "You…" I groan, tugging his hair gently and making him gasp as he tilts his head back. I kiss his neck, licking it before I suck the spot gently. Suna hums as he bit his bottom lip, squeezing my hand tighter. "You…" he groans throatily as I pull away with a pop, admiring my handy work. "Innocent little me?" I tease and he laughs, grinning down at me as he captures my lips in another kiss. His hand on my thigh slides between my legs, his fingers sliding over my slick heat as he lets out a soft groan. I suck in a sharp breath as he slides his fingers in, slowly pumping them in and out. I moan softly, squeezing his hand as his thumb rolls over my aching bud.

"Ayo! I hope you're not planning on doing anything." Arthur says as he comes back in the room, making me jump as Suna sighs. "I know, I know. I should probably stop before I do, it was getting too tempting." Suna chuckles and I feel my cheeks burn as he pulls away from me. "Thoroughly distracted?" Suna asks, licking his fingers- god that was hot. I feel my face burn as I roll onto my side, pouting as I cross my arms. "Thoroughly teased. Jeez, Arthur, you're the second to last person who would stop me from having my fun." I say, making Arthur laugh as he comes over with a bag. "Oh, if it were up to me, I'd tell you to go all out. I would never stop you from having your fun, but I'm under the instructions of a very pregnant lady. Everyone is under the threat of if they do it then she'll eliminate them from the competition and ground them from 'Nirvana'. Pretty sure she meant you." Arthur says and I blink at him, slowly sitting up. "Aima? You're kidding right? This is Aima we're talking about, the girl is the one that begged me to finally have sex for five fucking years and obsesses over my sex life." I ask, raising an eyebrow at him as Arthur just laughs, offering me the bag.

"Oh, yeah. That one. Yupp, she's got everyone by the balls, no sex for you, princess." Arthur chuckles and I take the bag, hesitating. "But Arthur, you'd let me get away with it, right?" I ask and Arthur cackles, shoving my shoulder. "Sorry, but she has a prize waiting for me if I cooperate. You're SOL. Plus, she's been trying to get a hold of you for the last 30 minutes. Go shower, get dressed, I'll tell her you just woke up and are getting around." Arthur says and I groan, rolling onto my stomach and pounding on the bed. "What the fuck did she bribe you with that you didn't even choose me?" I whine, Arthur laughing even harder as he crosses his arms. "Oh, you'll see~" Arthur cackles as I huff, turning to spare him a glare. "She's gonna make me do something for you. God, I should've known you two would be my downfall." I grumble and Arthur laughs, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go!" Arthur says, pointing towards the bathroom though I look at Suna over my shoulder, giving him puppy eyes. "Suna, please?... I want you." I beg softly and he groans, covering his face with his hands. "Oh, that's so not fair." He says, dragging his hands down his face as I wiggle my legs together.

"Suna… I need you." I beg and he groans, though Arthur laughs. "Jesus girl, you must love teasing him. Suna, let me give you a little helpful hint here…" Arthur chimes, leaning over and cupping his mouth as he whispers something in Suna's ear. "Suna!" I whine as I bury my head into the bed, letting out a frustrated groan. "Oh." Suna chuckles before he moves to straddle my ass, my breath catching in my throat. "I'll supervise to make sure nothing more happens." Arthur chimes, plopping down on the bed beside me as I look up at him, confused. "What the heck?" I croak as Suna lays against my back, his hard cock pressed against my ass through the fabric of his joggers. I suck in a sharp breath as his lips brush over the back of my neck, a shudder tearing through me as his heat soaks into my skin through his bare chest against my bare back. His hand reaches up and takes mine, twining our fingers together as his other hand slides under me, finding my slick heat. "Sunshine… we can't do anything right now, you'll just have to deal with this." Suna whispers in my ear, making me shiver as his lips trace over the back of my neck, my skin tingling all over.

His long fingers slide into me and his lips kiss the base of my skull as I suck in a sharp breath. His fingers slowly pump inside of me, eliciting sweet moans from me. He traces kisses along the back of my neck and my body quivers as waves of tingling heat wash over me. "Do you like it when my fingers are inside of you?" Suna whispers in my ear and I turn to meet his gaze. His eyes were hot, a subtle grin on his face as his fingers slowed down more. I open my mouth slightly and run my tongue over my teeth before dragging my bottom lip between my teeth. He huffs, leaning down and nipping my bottom lip as his fingers pick up their pace. I moan softly, sliding my tongue into his mouth as I begin rolling my hips back against his cock. He groans, squeezing my other hand tight as his fingers meet the pace of my hips. His tongue slides into my mouth and I bite it, though his fingers thrust into me in retaliation. I cry out in bliss as his fingers slam into the spot that makes me see stars over and over again, clawing desperately at the bed. Suna doesn't stop, his mouth dropping down to the back of my neck and biting it. I buck my hips as I gasp, my head dizzy from all the bliss and arousal.

The sound of his fingers slipping in and out of my wet heat sounds through the room, Suna letting out a shuddering breath. "Holy fucking shit…" he groans, laying his head onto my shoulder as I tremble. "Suna… Suna!" I whine, alternating between panting and moaning as he gently sucks on the back of my shoulder. I feel the weird tension start to build and I squeeze his hand tight, choking lightly. "S-Suna, g-gonna- f-fuck… 's… comin'..." I croak, Suna's breath catching as his thumb rolls over my aching bud. "Gonna... what, Sunshine?" Suna whispers as I moan helplessly, my body writhing from the overwhelming bliss and the tension building. My body feels so hot, between my legs so wet I could barely feel his fingers moving, but all I knew was he was hitting the spot that made stars flash over my vision. I let out a guttural cry as my body tenses, trying to fight the tension as it threatens to snap. "Do it. Squirt on my fingers, Sunshine." Suna whispers and I suck in a sharp breath, relaxing as the knot snaps. Suna's fingers bury inside me as the liquid pours from between my legs, a groan escaping him as he kisses and sucks behind my ear, Arthur clicking his tongue.

"I'm so not cleaning that up." Arthur grumbles, making Suna laugh as he withdraws his fingers from inside of me. "I'll do it, don't worry. Go take your shower, Sunshine." Suna says as I try to catch my breath, my cheeks burning from embarrassment. "Oh… and by the way, I can't wait for you to do that… on me." Suna whispers in my ear, making my face burn as I press my lips tightly together. "Suna… you… I… Jeez!" I squeak as he chuckles, sliding off of me and squeezing my hand lightly before letting me go. "Go shower! Aima's waiting! She's been spamming your phone this whole time!" Arthur says, pulling me off the bed and making me stumble as my legs were weak. Arthur shoves the bag he held in my hands, pushing me towards the bathroom as I huff. "Arthur! Give a girl a second, my legs aren't so hot right now!" I hiss and Arthur laughs, winking at me as he crosses his arms. "Oh, I know someone who would be plenty willing to give you your signature calf legs, but you need to shower. Go!" Arthur says and I groan, shuffling my way into the bathroom and taking a long hot shower. Arthur had gotten me a really soft gray long sleeve dress to wear with some black cotton boyshorts panties.

"Dude, this dress is almost like a fuzzy blanket." I hum as I step out of the room, though Arthur shoves my phone into my hands. "She's gonna start foaming at the mouth if you don't answer her call right now. Come on, let's go!" Arthur says as Suna walks over, picking me up and carrying me downstairs. My phone rings and I answer, though I don't put it to my ear immediately. "I swear to God, I'm about to kill a bitch!" Aima screams from the phone, Suna raising an eyebrow as I hesitantly put my phone to my ear. "Okay, what's the plan? We talking kidnap and torture or a drive by?" I ask and Aima snorts, though I hear her phone bing. "Oh, sweetie, you don't even wanna know. It started this morning- just a random text asking for me. I was like okay, who is this texting me? Potential competition member?" Aima says and I run a hand over my face as Suna carries me into the drawing room. "Was it my grandparents?" I ask and Aima snorts as Suna sets me down on the couch. All the other guys were also gathered in the room, discreetly watching me. "No, worse." Aima says and this time I snort, dropping my gaze. "I seriously doubt that." I say though Aima takes a deep breath, blowing it out.

"It's your ex." Aima says and I purse my lips, dropping my gaze. "Oh. Well, pretty damn close to worse, but not quite." I mumble though Aima seems to pause, her phone binging. "Son of a fucking bitch! Will you stop texting me?" Aima screams at her phone and I quickly pull my phone away from my ear, wincing. "Aima! For the sake of my hearing, please!" I croak and she groans, though I hesitantly put the phone back to my ear. "Okay, so I'm guessing the meeting with your grands went to shit?" Aima asks and I grimace, blowing out a breath. "Yeah, it went to shit. I had some butterfly fungus though, that was weird. Rich people and their need to put expensive rare stuff in their food for absolutely no reason…" I grumble and Aima laughs heartily. "Seriously? Butterfly fungus? Isn't that the one shit… what's it called? The Viagra of the Himalayas?" Aima asks and I shrug, looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah, it's called that too, but I'm not sure if it has any aphrodisiac tendencies. It'd be mega freaky if my grandparents gave me that stuff if it was though." I say and Aima cackles, though her phone bings. This time she pulls her phone away as she goes on an angry fit.

"He has been spamming me since this morning, begging me to talk to you! How did he even get my number? I sure as hell plan on finding out!" Aima says and I snort, running a hand through my hair. "You'd think after last time we talked he would've gotten the hint. Is he just asking to talk to me?" I ask and Aima sighs, something rustling as I hear her start to shuffle around. "Oh, he's been asking a lot of questions. Who you've been with, how far you and Toru have gone, if you're open to-" Aima chimes and I groan, rubbing my eyes as I press my lips together. "Yeah, yeah, I think I get the picture. He's onto his old fucking bullshit and this time he's harassing you since I blocked him." I sigh, though I hear Aima open the fridge. "Is Aima having a hangry craving?" I joke softly and she laughs, shuffling around in the fridge. "You know it. Pickles and jelly are the new thing for me." She says and I wiggle my nose, sticking out my tongue. "Pickles and jelly? Ew. What the hell are you giving your fetus?" I ask as I hear her crunch on a pickle. "The real question is what the hell is my fetus asking me for?" Aima asks and I laugh, though her phone bings again and I pull my phone away from my ear.

"Holy fucking- I swear to fucking God! Will you just leave me alone?! I am going to- Urgh!" Aima screams, groaning loudly as I snort. "Why don't you just block him?" I ask as I put the phone back to my ear. "Cause I want to know how he got my number, but he's not saying." Aima says and I sigh, glancing around the room. "Any of you give Aima's number out?" I ask, everyone shaking their head as I nod my head. "It's not anyone here." I say, though Aima hums softly, crunching on her pickle. "Still at the mansion?" She asks and I glance down at the table, humming softly. "You know what, yeah, we are. Weren't we supposed to be out of here by now?" I ask, turning to Arthur as he shrugs his shoulders. "I rented it for another day, but it's probably just going to be us for the rest of the day." Arthur says and I clap excitedly. "Aww yeah, we're getting hella fucked up later! I'm sick of dealing with bullshit!" I laugh, Arthur whooping and pumping his fist. "Just don't get so drunk you start kissing and touching on me again." I joke in russian, Arthur laughing heartily. "That was just one time! To be fair, you could turn a gay man straight!" Arthur laughs and I snort, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, well, I don't wanna do that. By all means, you do you boo, but don't bring me into it." I say, though Arthur rolls his eyes and grins at me. "Whatever. Just keep me off of my phone so I don't do something I regret." He says and I laugh, raising an eyebrow at him. "Like that one time you bought an 100 air mattress cause they looked like giant ice cream sandwiches?" I ask, making him laugh as he nods his head. "Well, that too." Arthur says and I nod, grinning at him. "Okay, keep me off the fucking chandelier then." I say though Arthur laughs maniacally. "Oh I remember that, that was hilarious- expensive, but hilarious." Arthur says and I laugh, shaking my head. "I swear, I was so lucky that I landed on the couch." I say, though I hear Aima's phone bing- I quickly pull my phone away from my ear. "I swear to God, I am going to murder you! How did you get my number?" Aima screams, letting out a frustrated scream as I bite my lip. "Should I talk to him?" I ask softly as Aima takes deep breaths to calm herself. "I'd prefer if you didn't have to talk to him, but it's pretty fucking obvious he's not going to let it go." Aima grumbles and I collapse onto the couch, laying my phone right next to my head.

"If he's bothering you, I'll talk to him." I mumble, running a hand through my hair and rubbing my eyes. "I know you don't want to talk to him, Kimiko. I can't blame you for not wanting to, especially after what happened. If you're willing to…" Aima says and I roll onto my back, draping my legs over the arm of the couch. "I know him, Aima. I know him. He's not going to leave you alone until he gets what he wants. You'll end up caving or doing something you regret. I don't want you to do something you regret on my behalf, especially when I know I can just deal with his bullshit and get it over with. Thing is, if it's me that caves, it's all on me. I can get high off my ass, have Arthur by my side and tell him to just fuck off a million times. I don't want you and your baby stressing out on my behalf. I can handle this." I say softly, Arthur reaching over and grabbing a blunt, lighting it up though I lift a finger. "Oi, Omi and 'Tsumu are gonna need a ride back to the group first." I say though Arthur hits the blunt, passing it to me before pulling out his phone. "I'll get them a ride. You worry about how you're going to deal with dick fuck mcgee." Arthur says and I take it, hitting it as I look up at the ceiling.

"So, I don't know how to unblock people on my phone. How are we going to do this? Add him to the girls group chat and let me deal with his bull while you two get all the tea?" I ask, making Aima laugh as I hear her start tapping around on her phone. "No, I think I have a better idea." Aima says and I pause mid hit of my blunt. "Aima, you're not going to add him to the competition group chat are you?" I ask, taking a big hit of my blunt as she giggles. "No. I'm going to make a new group chat." Aima chimes and I slowly exhale the smoke, sitting up. "You're going to make a new group chat… with my ex in it. That's a lot of tapping for just me, you and him, Aima. Who else are you adding?" I ask as she cackles, though I rub my eyes. "Oh, you'll see." Aima chimes and I groan, kicking Arthur's shin lightly and pointing towards the liquor cabinet. "Aima… when I agreed to do this, I did it under the pretense that I don't have to air my dirty laundry to anyone who doesn't already know. You know what happened, Misaki knows what happened… that's pretty much it." I say, though Aima snorts as I hear her munch on her pickle. "Well…" she mumbles and I pause, Arthur heading to the liquor cabinet.

"Did you tell someone?" I ask as I hear her pause in her chewing. "What? No, I haven't told anyone. Apparently he's been telling everyone a bunch of bull that you were a huge slut so he broke up with you, but he had a change of heart and he wants to give you another chance." Aima says and I slide my legs down, staring at the ground. "Hold on just a fucking second, he what?" I hiss, taking a big hit off of the blunt as Arthur glances back at me, raising an eyebrow. "You see, that's the thing. He added me to a group chat of his, a bunch of people he's been lying to. They are trying to convince me that you're a whore who cheated on him, that he's an angel for wanting to take you back- sounds like he's been airing plenty dirty laundry in his favor." Aima says and I feel my blood beginning to bubble with anger as I tick my jaw to the side. "He doesn't know that you have the pictures to prove that he's the one that's been lying. I have all his friends' contacts, I'm going to add them and the boys in." Aima says though I take a deep shaky breath, running my hand through my hair. "No, wait. Let me start the group chat. I'll add you in." I mumble, pulling my phone away and opening my messenger.

"Are you sure?" She asks and I hum, taking a hit off my blunt as I add Aima and another girl into a group chat. "Oh yeah. Take screenshots of him begging for me back and send it to this chat. She'll know what's up, and she'll gladly help us out. After all, it's not the first time he screwed her over for a chance at me." I say, Aima oohing excitedly as I set her to speaker phone. "So this is that chick?" Aima chimes and I snort as she starts sending the screenshots in the chat. "Oh yeah. He thinks we stopped talking- and we did, since I decided to remove myself from the situation. We had an agreement- if I ever had evidence of him seeking me out like that again, come to her and she'll make sure that she and her daughter get severance." I say, Aima gasping as the girl starts typing. "No! You didn't say anything about that!" Aima cackles as I hum, Arthur coming over with a bottle of liquor and a big grin on his face. "He only called before. I couldn't just tell her that he called me to beg for me back- once it was quiet he probably figured he was safe to pursue." I say, Aima giggling excitedly as she and the other girl start making a plan to catch Yuki in the act.

"Hey, somebody is here to pick you up." 'Samu says, looking out the window as 'Tsumu gets up, walking over to the window and peeking out. "Who?" 'Tsumu asks, putting his fingers to the glass as he looks around. "There are no cars but a garbage truck." 'Tsumu says, gesturing out of the window as seeming confused. "Exactly." 'Samu says, though 'Tsumu looks at him, mildly confused. 'Tsumu's seems to realize what 'Samu was implying, his face lighting up with recognition. 'Samu sips his coffee, staring at 'Tsumu with a straight face. 'Tsumu's face curls in a mix of disgust and anger, 'Samu's face curling in a sly grin. 'Tsumu lurches at 'Samu and 'Samu takes off running, throwing his coffee as the two begin to chase each other around the room- 'Tsumu tackles 'Samu to the ground, the two of them begin to wrestle as the others laugh at their antics. Usually it would make me laugh, but I couldn't help but feel somber as I stare at the chat that just transpired. Kita walks over to the twins, bonking them on their heads as Suna records it all. "That's enough, you two." Kita scolds and the two scowl, glaring at each other though they stop fighting, pulling away from each other.

"Fuck yes! Oh, I bet he's super mad right now! Take that, asshole!" Aima cackles as I take a swig off of the bottle I was drinking, blinking to keep the tears from my eyes. I had done a pretty good job at hiding my pain- I think… Kuroo sat beside me, his arm over my shoulder and gently rubbing it with his thumb. "Is he leaving you alone?" I ask, setting my phone down as I lean back, shutting my eyes. "Oh, I think I'll enjoy him being pissed more than him being persistent." Aima cackles and I take a shallow breath, looking up at the ceiling. "Maybe his friends know how he got your number. You should ask, but I'm probably gonna head out for the night." I say, taking my phone off speaker phone and putting it to my ear. "Are you okay?" She asks softly and I run a hand through my hair. "I'm just tired." I mumble, Aima humming as she fiddles with something. "Are you going to tell me what your grandparents said?" She asks and I slowly open my eyes, looking at the ceiling. "Ask Arthur. I told him all about it, he can tell you." I say and Aima hums, setting something down. "He was an asshole for saying all that." Aima says and I press my lips together as a lump forms in my throat.

"You never told me he said all of that." Aima says and I choke out a soft laugh, blinking the tears from my eyes. "Yeah, well, when you look at things through rose colored glasses… red flags… they just look like flags." I say and I hear Aima sniff softly. "You better not start crying. You're an ugly crier, Aima, and you've been especially messy now that you're pregnant. You'll get snot all over the walls and carpet, and I sure as hell ain't cleaning it." I say, Aima choking out a laugh as I hear her rub her eyes. "It's just… I didn't realize he was such a fucking asshole! Yeah, he cheated on you, but to think he was being a complete ass the whole time you were just-" Aima says and I sigh, running a hand over my face. "Aima… he didn't cheat on me." I say and she pauses, everyone looking at me though I just stand up and walk for the door. "What do you mean, he didn't cheat on you?" Aima asks, sounding extremely confused as I slip out of the room. "Simple. I was the one he cheated with… his 'side piece', as he called it. That's all I ever was, except… I was never anything to him, just an aspect he was trying to work out in his favor." I say, fiddling with the glass bottle in my hands.

"Kimiko, you were together for two years!" Aima gasps as I take a swig from my bottle, pressing my lips together at the bitter taste. "Yeah, we were. She was there first, I was his side piece for two fucking years… and I had no fucking clue." I croak, wiping the tears from my eyes as I slide into the theater room, collapsing into one of the chairs and curling up. "She was pregnant while he was taking me for joy rides at two in the morning, just us laughing and hanging out… When she gave birth, he told me that his grandma was in the hospital. He was texting me while holding her hand as she pushed out their baby." I whisper, Aima silent as tears streamed down my face. "And when I caught them together… it was his birthday, I was going to give him a surprise… I was going to give myself to him… after all, it was all he ever wanted from me… but I caught him and his fiance in his bed, his baby asleep in the car seat." I say, letting my head fall back as my lip trembles, the lump in my throat choking me. "I… I'm so sorry…" Aima says and I close my eyes tight, swallowing the lump in my throat. "The last thing I want to be…" I croak, my voice trembling as I sniff softly.

"The very last thing I want to be… is a homewrecker. I don't want to be the reason why a child goes without a parent, or why a family is torn apart- or... or…" I choke, beginning to sob as I bury my head into my arms. "I'm so fucking scared right now, I'm terrified… It's like Ray all over again, but… All I know is that I told her that he sought me out, she confronted him and now he's mad! W-When it was Ray… he killed her, Aima, he killed her because I told her! He told me it was my fault, that I should have just shut up and taken it, taken him! But I couldn't, I couldn't do that to Ray… I still can't! But here I am, doing it again." I sob uncontrollably, my body trembling as I hear Aima begin to choke. "Aima… what if he kills her? What if he kills their baby, and it's my fault again? I… I can't do it! I just can't, I'm so fucking… I shouldn't have done it…" I sob helplessly as I clench onto the bottle in my hand, my only comfort. Aima doesn't say anything, too busy crying and making me feel even more guilty. "You… You call Lev, I'll… I'll go talk to Arthur and… Don't worry about me, okay? I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'll text you later." I croak before I hang up, biting my bottom lip and throwing my phone across the room.

I chug the bottle as tears stream from my face, though I just end up throwing that across the room too. I curl into a tight ball, squeezing my eyes shut as my body trembles. Ray smiling flashes across my vision, her tinkling laugh echoing in my ears- right with the sound of her choking on her own blood. I grab my rubber band, pulling it back and snapping it on my wrist. It doesn't go away- I pull it farther this time, sobbing as I snap it again. It still wouldn't go away; I sob uncontrollably, snapping the rubber band over and over. Work, work, work- someone grabs my wrist and I flinch, looking up to see Kuroo with an anguished look on his face. He pulls me tightly into his arms, holding me tight as I wail in his arms, wrapping my arms around him. He slides us down to the floor, holding me tightly as he just pets my hair. He doesn't say anything, just rocks me side to side and holds me in his hot embrace. I'm grateful for the comfort, no questions and no expectations. Just him holding me, soothing me as I ache from my painful thoughts and memories. No promises, no lies, no 'it'll be okay' without knowing that it will be okay. He buries his head into my hair and I feel his tears as he holds me close.

He was crying too- the thought made me cry even harder, though I didn't know if I was relieved or felt guilty that he was crying with me. I bury my head into his chest, clinging desperately to him as I wail helplessly. Kuroo sobs softly, clutching onto my dress as he pulls me tighter. We cry together, my body trembling with the power of my sobs. I don't know how long I cried, but Kuroo just gently stroked my hair and held me tight. I let the feelings come- the fear, the sadness, the anger- they tear through me, only to be soothed by Kuroo's hot embrace. At some point I just go limp in his arms, spent from all the emotions and feeling numb. Painful hot tears gather in my eyes, though I just blink and they tumble down my cheeks. Kuroo scoops me up in his arms, pulling my head into his chest as he carries me out of the room. "Pudding head, come on." Kuroo calls as he begins to carry me up the stairs, though I hear a door creak open as shuffling follows us. "Could've sworn I just said Pudding Head, not pudding head and company." Kuroo mumbles as we reach the top of the stairs. "I saw you carrying her… she looks like straight shit, so…" Suna mumbles and Kuroo sighs softly.

"Do you want him to leave?" Kuroo asks me softly and I shake my head, tugging his shirt tightly. "Lucky you. She wants you to comfort her." Kuroo mumbles as he carries me into a room. "What about Pudding Head? Do you want him here?" Kuroo asks and I slowly nod as he sets me down on the bed. He goes to leave but I grab his shirt, whimpering softly as I tug it gently. He pauses, turning to look back at me and furrowing his eyebrows. "You… want me here?" He asks and I nod, tugging his shirt gently. His eyes soften and he leans down, kissing my forehead as he runs his fingers through my hair. "Cuddling with four people isn't so easy, kitten." Kuroo chuckles and I shift, dropping my gaze. "I can sit out on cuddling if you want." Suna says though Kozu pulls me onto his chest as we lay in the middle of the bed. "You guys take either side." Kozu says simply, wrapping his arms around my waist and gently kissing my forehead. "That works for me." Kuroo says, crawling onto the bed and laying to my right, laying his head on his arm as his other hand runs through my hair. Suna slowly comes around the other side of the bed before crawling in, settling down on my left.

He lays his hand over my hip, gently stroking his thumb over it- Kozu's cool comfort against my chest, Kuroo and Suna's hot embrace on either side of me… it was so nice and soothing, reassuring. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, pudding?" Kozu asks, gently squeezing my waist as I bury my head into his chest, taking a deep breath of his familiar scent, mixed with Kuroo's fruity smell and- a forest? I hum softly, turning to Suna and leaning over, sniffing him softly. He smelled like a forest that had just got a mist, earthy- but kind of spicy? "What is with you guys and smelling good? I swear, it's like… I dunno." I mumble, Kuroo chuckling softly as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "We asked a question, Kitten." Kuroo asks and I spare him an anxious glance as I slide back and bury my head into Kozu's chest. "I tried to dodge it…" I mumble and Kuroo sighs, leaning over and kissing my temple. "And I have a feeling this is one I shouldn't leave alone." Kuroo says and I swallow thickly, closing my eyes as my heart feels heavy in my chest. "I… It's… It's a lot… like, a lot…" I croak, tears gathering in my eyes though I quickly try and blink them away- Suna and Kuroo wipe them away.

"Sunshine, I already told you that you can tell me anything. I'll listen, no matter what, and I'll be your friend no matter what." Suna says softly, squeezing my hip lightly as I press my lips together. "Pudding, how long have we known each other? How many things have you come to me about and I've listened to it? I can and will comfort you, no matter what." Kozu says, kissing my forehead and I feel my resolve beginning to break. "I may not be as comforting as these two… but I do care for you, Kitten. I'll listen and I'll be here for you no matter what." Kuroo says and I can't help but choke out a laugh, my body trembling as the tears come back. "You… you're all… so soothing… comforting… you're a killer combo of 'open up and spill your guts out to us'. That's… that's really scary, because I've… there's something I've never told anyone… at least, no one has listened. It's always been dismissed, brushed off like it wasn't serious… and I want to say it. It's been tearing me up inside, but it's a secret I want to take to my grave… but I want to tell you… I'm… I'm so scared… that I'll lose you, that you'll look at me and see a monster..." I croak, tears streaming down my face and onto Kozu's sweater.

"I could never see you as a monster." Kozu says softly and I close my eyes tight, a sob escaping me. "You say that, but that's scared me even more! It's like a false hope- I am a monster! Why can't you see that?! Why can't anyone see that? Why do you put me in the light, when I should be in the darkest shadows?" I croak, shaking my head as my bottom lip trembles. "I'm even more scared that you won't see me as a monster. What I did… only a true monster is capable of." I sob, burying my head into Kozu's chest as I clutch onto his chest. "And I don't regret what I did- not one fucking bit. That's what makes me a monster…" I spit out, though they all gently stroke me, soothing me even though I was telling them I didn't deserve it. "Shouldn't we be the judge of that? Why don't you tell us everything, and we'll determine on our own if you're a monster." Kozu says softly and I take a deep breath, pressing my lips together as I squeeze my eyes shut. I try to fight their comfort, their soothing, their warmth- but I break, my walls falling as I sob, melting into them. "I… this… it's… Ray… our best friend, our figurative big sister, our guardian…" I start, my voice trembling as I take a shuddering breath.

"She would always be there for Arthur and I, she'd always save us from whatever trouble we got into… she was our light, the thing that kept us together, the thing that made us strive for the light, kept us from tumbling over the edge… we loved her, she was like our family, especially when our families were falling apart." I croak, sucking in another breath as I blink the tears from my eyes. "And then… she met someone, she was so happy, we were so happy for her, even though we were slowly losing her. She… she got pregnant, and we realized we had to say goodbye. She was going to have her own family… but it wasn't goodbye, it was her saying hello to a new life full of happiness. We were glad to say goodbye, because we knew it's what she deserved; our angel of a big sister was leaving her mischiefs so she could manage her own little mischief. We promised to be good for her, that we wouldn't worry her too much. So we walked away from the edge and actually got a hold of our lives…" I say, pausing for a moment to regain control over my breathing. "For Arthur, that meant family duties, preparing for his inheritance and position as a Pendragon." I croak, closing my eyes and grimacing.

"For me… that meant bringing my family together after my father's death. We kept in contact with her, listened to her progress- she was so… fucking happy… she would be the best mom, I know it. She was so ready- she had managed us, after all. A baby would be a walk in the park to her." I laughed half-heartedly, though Kuroo gently squeezed my shoulder. "Akira… he was young, not even 5. I was there for him constantly, helping him through it. He was… he never got to know dad. I helped my mom raise him so she could work, but it was never enough… I turned to Ray for support, just someone to talk to. She gladly took the job, said it was her job as a big sister. I met him… the father. He seemed like a really nice guy, fantastic- he treated her so well, he was so tender with her, so sweet. It was so beautiful, I admired that… I wanted that. I mean, in no way did I want him, I respected Ray way too much for that. They were just the ideal relationship for me, right there with my parents." I say, taking a deep breath and squeezing Kozu lightly. "He… took me under his wing. He nurtured and cared for me like he did for Ray…" I croak, tears falling from my eyes as I trembled.

"I was so… so stupid… I thought that's just how he was. I found him even more endearing for that, and I was even more happy that Ray found such a wonderful person. He was like a big brother, a father even, when I had just lost all the support in my life." I say, my face souring as I felt the guilt build in my chest. "I was an idiot… I should've known… he was turning his attention more and more to me… Ray was too happy about having a baby to notice. I was too happy to have a support to fall back on to notice. It took me completely off guard when he asked me… if I would be his, if I would run away with him. I was… I was so shocked, so confused. He told me that he loved me, that he loved me more than he loved Ray, that he couldn't live without me… that he knew I loved Ray too. He told me we could keep it a secret for as long as we liked, but… I couldn't." I say, shaking my head furiously as I furrow my eyebrows. "I couldn't do that for so many reasons. I was so angry, so betrayed- I felt so guilty, so sad… I ran to Ray in tears, and I told her everything. She was utterly destroyed, she knew I would never lie to her like that…" I say, a sob tearing from me as I began to cry again.

"You… you weren't even 11 at that time, and he put that on you?" Kozu mumbles and I nod, choking for air as I close my eyes. "That's… that's not even… the worst part…" I croak, swallowing thickly as the tears don't stop- my eyes hurt so bad. "She… she confronted him. She was so mad, so upset, so sad… that day, I got a bad feeling. The worst feeling I could ever get- it was in the middle of school- but I ran, I ran as fast as I could. I just… I just fucking knew. My intuition never lies… it's a blessing, and a curse…" I croak, my body trembling as I desperately gasped for air, though they all stroked me. "It's okay Pudding, take your time… just breath." Kozu says and I sob helplessly, burying my head into his chest, remembering that day like I was still living in it- sometimes it felt like I was. Sometimes it felt like I was still in the entrance of that alley, staring at him as he stood over her body with a knife. I cried even harder, wailing as I clutched onto Kozu tight, tears pouring from my eyes. "He had killed her. You… you don't have to tell us about that. It's like it was in your hallucinations, wasn't it? It was gruesome, brutal… it traumatized you." Kuroo says and I choke as I nod, crying for a while.

"Is that all?" Suna asks and I shake my head, sniffing as I take a shuddering breath. "He… he told me that if I had just been quiet and agreed to be his he wouldn't have resorted to such methods. It… it made my blood run cold. Like… I was ice, just numb to it all. I felt my body moving, felt it when I kicked him to the ground, when I stomped his teeth into the fucking curb. I couldn't stop. I couldn't. It… it felt so good, and I did it right in front of her as she was dying. He had cut her tongue out… but she begged me to stop. I knocked him out, lugged him into a car I hijacked… then I walked over to her and held her as she died. I held her until her body was cold… and I just cried. I don't know how long I cried, I just… I couldn't get his words out of my head. It was my fault, if I… if I hadn't… if I hadn't told her… if I found another way…" I choke out, all the boys tensing as their hands stopped moving on me. I felt relieved and scared, knowing they had finally realized that this was darker than they thought, that I had done something like that. "I don't regret what I did… not one bit. I'm going to hell for it, I know it. He'll be waiting for me." I croak softly, going to pull away from them though they all squeeze me.

"It's not over, is it?" Kozu asks and I meet his gaze- it was distant but focused at the same time, trying to process what I had said. "No… I took him a place only I knew about and… I made an anonymous tip to the police about her body. His blood and skin were under her nails, it was his child in her stomach, it was his prints on the weapon. A crime of passion, they called it. They put a warrant out for his arrest, stationed cars everywhere; I already had him stashed away. He wasn't going anywhere either, not until he paid…" I snarl, feeling the anger build in my blood at the memory of him- the satisfaction of what I had done- it would never be enough for him to pay. "They didn't even question me, I was just a little kid; I was grieving, crying every night in my bed, disappearing after school… it was normal habits for Arthur and I, they were just glad we weren't causing trouble. There was a murderer on the loose, after all." I croak, dropping my gaze as I run my tongue over my teeth. "They never found him, I made sure of that... It's been longer than 6 years now, I've moved countries…" I croak, falling silent and shifting in their arms- they were still holding on tight.

"I don't regret what I did, he paid 10 fold for what he did to her. I tumbled over the edge, there was no going back after that... I vowed that I would never do anything like it again, that I would take the secret to my grave… I won't tell you what I did to him, where he is… he got what he deserved, and he can take it out on me in the throws of hell. I vowed on Ray's grave that I would never, ever do it again… and I've held true. I've never felt the urge to do it since." I admit, the boys seemed to relax slightly as I sniffed. "And now… my ex, all that… it's… it's almost like a repeat. They had the perfect relationship- years together, a child, she was so happy… yet he strung me along for 2 years and I was none the wiser. Rose colored glasses… when I was with him, I thought… maybe what I did wasn't that bad. Maybe I could have a happy, normal life, a happy, normal family. I was willing to try, I was ready to give him my everything… and then I walked in on them. Their baby was in the car seat, asleep." I say, cackling softly- I had no tears left to cry, just the pain. "What a sick twist of fate. He wanted me to sit on the back burner…" I say, a bitter taste forming in my mouth as I grimace.

"I broke it off then and there. I explained everything to her, and we secretly exchanged contact info. If he reached out to me again, I'd let her know. She'd give him one second chance." I mumble, taking a shuddering breath. "I knew… from the moment I saw him again… that I would have to text her. I knew, when he called me that night, I should tell her… but I was so fucking scared. I'm scared it was going to all be a repeat- that he'd hurt her, that she'd end up like Ray. Sure, I don't know her… but every time I think of them, I think it's a disaster waiting to strike, and once again I'm stuck in the middle. I just… I couldn't. I couldn't do it, I couldn't hide it from her. I'm so scared it's going to happen again… I can't do it. I just can't. I can't be a homewrecker." I croak, going limp in their arms- it was all out in the open now. All I could do was wait for them to process, to pull their hands away like I burned then with fire. For them to look at me like I was a monster- which I was. I mentally prepared myself to lose what I considered three of my greatest friends, people I had opened my deepest and darkest secret to- one of them had even saved my life, the other had wanted to take my place. Did they regret it now?

We sit in silence for a while, just them processing what I said, still holding me and giving me their comfort. Suna is the first to act, leaning over and kissing my forehead, pulling me closer. "I can see why you're scared… I'm not sure how bad that guy hurt Ray, I'm not sure I want to know… but, I'm sure he got what he deserved. I can't say I blame you for doing it either." Suna whispers softly in my ear, though I feel myself trembling as I close my eyes tight. "Oh… I'm sure he got what he deserved. What he did… he was a monster, I'm more surprised that I think what you did was right then by knowing you did that. Of course it is a big surprise…" Kuroo mumbles, reaching over and kissing the other side of my forehead. "I think there are other ways to go about it, but… you can't change the past, and that's in the past now. You can't change what you did but… I know who you are today, and the person I know isn't a monster. Even if… look, I'm not saying you did the right thing. I'm saying that I understand and that there's no changing what you did. I know you, I know that you would never hurt someone who didn't deserve it." Kozu says, gently stroking my back as he looks up at the ceiling.

"I also know that you've saved a life- Arthur's. I'm sure that Ray would be proud of you for that. I can't say how she would feel about… that… but it takes a lot to dive off a roof on an off chance that you can somehow save someone dear to you. You… almost paid your life for that. I don't think a monster would do that." Kozu mumbles, gently kissing my forehead as I can't help but laugh softly. "You guys… are ridiculous. How can you still comfort me, still hold me, still kiss me… when you should be running for the hills, looking at me like I'm insane. Who in their right mind would just accept what I did." I croak, though Kuroo chuckles, pulling me closer to him. "I guess I'm just not right in the mind, but I'm still going to comfort you." He hums, burying his head into my hair, making me feel warm and fuzzy inside. "I mean… I always kind of knew there was something different about you, that you were special. It sounds to me like it itself was a 'crime of passion', not a crime of a monster. If I was in that same position… I don't blame you for doing what you did. I really don't, it would take a monster to not want to do that." Suna says softly, my chest feeling tight as I bite my bottom lip.

"You've always been passionate. That's just who you are… seeing someone you loved so brutally murdered… it must have been horrible. I don't want to know the details of what you did to him, I'm sure you were passionate about that too. I understand what you did and why… it doesn't justify it in my mind. I won't say anything or tell anyone, but if you do something like that again… I don't think I could be by your side." Kozu mumbles and I giggle softly, looking up at him. "At least someone here has the mind to comprehend it… but I won't do that again. Nen… he's my redemption. I won't do it for him. That's… that's why I won't fight the man unless Nen is in danger. I know what I'm capable of." I say and Kozu grimaces, holding me tighter. "I don't… I don't want him to hurt you, but even more I don't want to see you lose yourself." Kozu mumbles, sighing softly as he lays his head back. "I don't think you have to worry about your ex doing that though. I mean, he already got caught once, he knew what he was getting into the second time… I think it'll be just fine, if he was going to do something, he would have done it already, would he?" Kozu says and I hesitantly nod- it made sense, he would have.

"Paradise! Arthur needs you!" Tendo chimes, bouncing in the room and I blink as the others look over at him. "Arthur needs me?" I ask and he nods, coming over and scooping me out of their embrace. "Yupp! You three, go to the… the whatchamacallit room." Tendo says, carrying me out of the room as I wrap my arms around his neck. "Eh? What does he need me for?" I ask, though Tendo just smiles at me as he shrugs. "No clue! Just said he needed you for something." Tendo chimes as he carries me to the VR room, opening the door- Arthur was playing the VR. "Hey Arthur, what's up?" I ask as Tendo sets me down, leaving and closing the door behind him. "There's some pills on the desk over there, take them. Don't worry, it's not a hallucination drug." Arthur says and I walk over to the table, taking the pills and tossing them back. "Even if it was, since you actually told me I'd take them." I snort as I take the water bottle beside and wash them down. "Oh, well… whatever. Are you good?" He asks- he was playing the duck shooting game, shooting every duck that passed by the screen. "I think I'll be just fine." I admit, rubbing the back of my neck as Arthur smiles lightly.

"Well, I'm glad." Arthur says softly and I smile, using a little bit of the water to clean my face. "You?" I ask, taking a seat at the desk as Arthur hums softly. "I think I'll be just fine too." He says and I nod, walking over and patting his shoulder. "It'll be okay. You'll always have me." I say and he nods, reaching over and patting my hand. "You scared the shit out of me- this is a horror game after all. Now, I'm gonna finish this game and then we're going back to the others." Arthur says and I laugh, going back and sitting on the chair. Arthur easily kills all the ducks- shooting the dog in between rounds and then defeating the dog boss. "Aye! Done! Come on, let's go!" Arthur chimes, taking off the headset and setting it down. He grabs my hand and drags me to the drawing room, though I furrow my brows. "Wait, Arthur, what was-" I ask though he shushes me, offering me a big grin. "You'll see!" He chimes and he settles me in front of him, covering my eyes as we arrive at the door. "I'll guide you! Open the door, step inside- I'll be bringing you to the couch." Arthur says and I nod, nibbling my nip anxiously as I open the door. I slide in, letting Arthur guide me before I sit down on the chair.

"I thoroughly hope you enjoy this, little sexy girl." Arthur cackles as he removes his hands from my eyes. "Well, I don't really know what I'm supposed to be enjoying so…" I mumble as I open my eyes- all 12 of the boys were shirtless, only wearing baggy joggers. I quickly cover my eyes as I feel my face burning, choking lightly as I bend over. "Okay, what the heck!" I squeak, running my hands over my face as I look at Arthur who was perched on the back of the couch. "Your own personal cheer up party! I know for a fact that-" Arthur chimes and I slap my hand over his mouth, shaking my head. "Okay, how is this a cheer up party? I mean, I don't get it." I ask and Arthur chuckles, shoving me hand away as he grins down at me. "Why don't you wait and see. Look!" Arthur says, pointing over at the group- I glance over, doing a double take. I slap my hand over my mouth as I snort, unable to stop my body from trembling as I giggle- Kozu was wearing cat ears. "Is this what you want? Hm? Hm? Meow!" Kozu asks sassily- I hear a little jingle and I choke, unable to stop my laughter. "Bruh, I'm a cat boy. I'm a cat boy." Kozu says, flipping his head side to side- the bells on the ears jingle.

"Look at that. You see that? Vintage bells on the ears? Look at that, you hear that jingle? That ain't just a jingle." Kozu says as he points at and I almost fall off the couch from laughing so hard, but Arthur grabs me. "Think twice before you talk trash, I'll swat your ass." Kozu says and I clutch onto my stomach, tossing my head back as I laugh heartily. "Oh my- it's so- ah, I can't!" I laugh, covering my face as my whole body shakes with my laughter. I feel something fall into my lap and I glance down, seeing a pair of cat ears in my lap. "Here, I got two. You get one too." Arthur says and I snort, offering them to him. "By all means you can put them on yourself." I chime and he rolls his eyes, putting the ears on for me. "Whatever, they'll look ten times better on you. Now that we got you in a good mood, it's time for the real fun to start! Make sure to watch nice and close!" Arthur chimes and I snort, sitting back on the couch and watching the boys. They started dancing- by far Suna and Tendo were the best dancers, but the others managed to keep up with their pace. I couldn't help but feel impressed by their moves- the bouncing, the grinding, the swaying of their hips, their coordination to the songs.

My body started feeling hot when all the boys flexed their arms to a song, my cheeks burning though I covered them, glancing over at Arthur. "Uh… Arthur…" I mumble and he hums, grinning at me as he stares intently at the boys. He was enjoying the show way more than me, a big grin on his face. "That uh… that stuff…" I ask, my voice a little low and rough as Arthur cackled. Tendo stepped forward out of the group, doing a special dance- before beginning to grind on the ground. I couldn't help but imagine I was the floor- blistering hot, wet heat exploded through my body. "God fucking damn it- Arthur!" I protest as he lets out a maniacal laugh, leaning over the couch and grinning at me. "So you realized! Yes, that, darling, is it in action. Of course you still can't do anything… Aima's orders. I'll be the one to guarantee that." Arthur chimes and I groan in frustration, running a hand through my hair. "You… you are evil. How could you do that to me? You're such a fucking- god damn it!" I whine, covering my face as I wiggle my legs together. "Bwahaha! Take that, you horny ass bitch!" Arthur laughs and I huff, grabbing him from over the couch and flipping him over and onto his back.

He lands with a grunt and I stand, leaning over him as I glare at him. "You gave me an aphrodisiac?" I ask, tapping my foot as the boys all paused, looking between Arthur and I. "You know me and mischief, I couldn't help it. It must have activated by now- seeing all the flexing muscles and moving hips… I bet you got a mess between your legs." Arthur laughs and I run a hand over my face which felt like it was on fire. "You… fucking… suck." I grumble, turning to walk away though Arthur laughs even harder. "You don't even know how to take care of it, do you? At least, you won't be fully satisfied without help. Aima grounded you though, anyone that was at this party or that you've had sex with before won't touch you." Arthur cackles and I click my tongue, curling my nose in frustration. "You- god, I- why? What did I do to you?" I hissed, kicking his side as I dragged my hand over my face- between my legs was aching with heat. "Nothing! I just want you to be horny as hell, it's fun when you are." Arthur chimes and I suddenly get an idea, flipping myself over the couch. "Oh, but there is someone I can go to. Someone very willing and ready." I chime, running out the door as Arthur pauses.

"Kimiko fucking Suzuki, you are not going to-" Arthur yells as I laugh maniacally, grabbing my bag and heels from the mudroom before I dash out to my car. I hear a stampede of feet behind me as I pull out my keys, unlocking the car. I toss my heels and purse in, sliding the keys in the ignition as I hop in. I turn it on, pushing down the E-brake and letting the car roll as I put my seatbelt on. "Kimiko!" Arthur yells from the lawn and I flip him off, sticking my tongue out at him as I pull my eyelid down. "Baka, baka~" I tease before I take off, hooking my phone up to the Bluetooth. I see Arthur climb into his Lincoln and I giggle, speeding up- I was barefoot, so I could feel every tick of the car through the petals. I blast 'rules' through the speakers, reaching the circle that leads to the gate. I grab the E-brake and flip it, spinning the wheel- I easily drift around the grass circle, pushing the E-brake back down before I straighten the wheel, taking off through the gate, turning left onto the main road. I nibble my bottom lip as I take my phone, tapping on it without looking before I put it to my ear. It rings a few times and for a moment I wonder if he would even pick up- we had never done anything before.