Her pain

I stir from my sleep, curled around my teddy bear with an arm draped over my waist- wait, last thing I remember was being on the porch swing? How was I back here? Who had fetched me? Had Kuroo come and I blanked it out? I put my palm to my head- no fever, I felt fine too. I slowly slide out of the bed, careful not to disturb Judas- I trudge to the kitchen, hearing faint talking. "-and then he took off." My grandpa says as I get within hearing distance, though my grandma giggles. "Reminds me of you when we were that age." She chimes, making my grandpa chuckle softly. "That's what I thought, too." My gramps says, though they both fall silent as I enter the kitchen. "Good morning." I yawn, stretching my arms over my head and humming softly. "Good morning to you, too, sleepyhead. You were out late last night." My grandma says, raising an eyebrow at me as I give her a sheepish smile. "I promise I didn't do any extreme excercise Mamma, the others took care of me. We were out so late because we were catching fireflies and lost track of time." I say and she hums, slowly nodding her head. "Who won then?" She asks, making me smile as I sit down at the table.

"Would you believe me if I told you I won with one firefly? I got not one- but two tarantulas on me! I friggin' lost it, I was screaming bloody murder! It freaked the others out so they came, abandoning all their fireflies- Kozu and Suna got them off of me, but one was being stubborn. They flicked it off and I caught one firefly after that." I laugh, making my grandma laugh as her face blossoms with joy. "That's insane! Two tarantulas? And you still managed to win with one firefly?!" She laughs, making me laugh even harder as I nod. "Yeah! It was so much fun, you know, other than two tarantulas trying to kill me- Suna and Kozu were mean. They teased me by saying I had one more, though it was just Kozu's hand- I swear, it scared me so bad; I jumped into Kuroo and knocked him over. He comforted me though- oh, oh! And he carried Judas under his arm and Arthur over his shoulder- by his knees! I swear, we were all laughing so hard!" I laugh giddily, my grandparents joining in with their own boisterous laughter. "I'm glad you had fun, sweetie; Kuroo brought you in from the swing out back, you must've been exhausted." My grandpa says, offering me a sweet smile and patting my back.

"Is that what happened? I remember sitting on the swing- and then I woke up in my room." I admit, my grandpa humming and nodding as the coffee pot stops. "Yupp, he came in carrying you like a princess. Almost got shot for it too- apparently he was going to look at the stars and found you asleep on the porch. I let him use my telescope for a bit and we had a chat." My grandpa says and I hum, curious what they had chatted about. Grandma pours two pots of coffee, putting creamer in both and giving one to my grandpa. "He knows quite a bit about science, doesn't he? We were talking about my current project, he seemed pretty knowledgeable on chemistry." My grandpa asks and I nod, grandma getting started on breakfast for everyone. "Oh, yeah. He's really smart, I think he's even the top of his class. He helped me study and catch up on my science when I fell behind, he was a great help- he was so patient and explained everything really well to me." I say, my grandpa humming and taking a sip of his coffee. "Is that so? He seems like a good guy." Gramps says and I offer him a big smile, giggling. "They all are, in my opinion." I chime, lifting up my fingers and humming.

"I actually met Kozu-kun first- he and I met through video games and became close friends. He always listened to me, never judged me and was always so caring. He's not really good with words, but… I know he cares a lot, so it's actually really comforting! Sometimes he just holds my hand and gives it a little squeeze- I know he's trying to comfort me and it just makes me feel better. He calms me down, I guess." I say, giggling softly as I tap my fingers on the table. "I met Kuroo through him, but… he was always teasing me and getting on my nerves, I mean, really, he just got my blood boiling all the time when we were playing games together. He was really annoying for the longest time- but then I met him in real life and well… I dunno, something changed I guess? I felt safe with him, I feel… alive, kinda? It's hard to explain but, he has this weird thing we're he just gets you going." I say, shrugging my shoulders and blowing out a breath. "I met Suna last- in fact, we met pretty recently, but we became close really quick. I felt free with him, like I didn't have to hide, pretend or anything. He's just… someone I want to be around." I admit, lightly kicking my feet and humming.

"They're all very special to me, but they're all so different, too. When I'm with all three of them, I get really happy- I mean, it's crazy how happy I get." I say, my grandpa taking another slow sip of his coffee. "You don't say." Grandma hums softly, though my grandpa sets down his mug. "Which one's your mom's favorite?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me as I hum. "Well, she knows Kozu and trusts him. She hasn't met Suna yet- but Kuroo is definitely her and Akira's favorite so far. Nen met and knows them all, he thinks they're all really cool. He told me that he wants them all to be his Daddy- boy, was that a conversation. Not that the boys know! I mean, Kuroo knows. He and I had a talk about it… Suna wants to be his dad, he admitted he would be okay with it… oh, Suna's great with kids, I mean, he's fantastic. He's got a younger sister too- she's adorable." I say, my grandma's face lighting up as her eyes sparkle. "Oh yeah? From the sound of it, Mr. Kuroo wants to be your boyfriend, but so does Suna." She chimes, raising an eyebrow at me as I give her a sheepish smile. "They all do, I think… but I have a boyfriend, back home." I mumble, my grandma dropping her spatula and turning to me.

"What?!" She asks, her eyes wide open as I shrug my shoulders. "Yeah, right before we came to Japan I got asked out and I said yes." I admit, my grandma's jaw dropping as my grandpa hums. "I didn't hear about any boyfriend… do the boys know?" He asks and I nod as my grandma quickly picks up the spatula and rinses it off. "How did they react?" My grandma asks and I fiddle with my fingers, nibbling my bottom lip. "They were all really upset and hurt at first… but then I explained the situation and they calmed down, they seem relieved even… you see, a friend of mine, a dear one I'd say- though not as much as them- has been having problems with his fangirls at school. He asked me to be his pretend girlfriend so that they back off, at least till the end of the year. I agreed, but it's on the DL- down low- not even Arthur knows. Don't tell anyone, okay?" I whisper, my grandma pursing her lips as my grandpa chuckles, running a hand through his hair. "Sounds like you gave them quite the fright." He says and I nod, a faint smile on my face. "I think me having a fever got it off their mind really quick- I came here straight after." I say, my grandpa humming and nodding his head.

"Well, you oughta wake those guys up. Last time I did it I came back and you were making your grampa's lunch. You won't fool me twice, little missy." My grandma says in a light scolding tone, though she has a subtle smile on her face. "Okay, I'll be back; I'm gonna take a shower first." I say, sliding off my chair and stretching my arms over my head. "No funny business with those boys." My grandpa calls and I hum affirmatively, heading to the shower. I took a shower and got dressed in the clothes Judas let me borrow; dark denim jeans, a baggy white shirt- Judas was slightly bigger than me in the chest area; I was petite and she was a bigger girl, but I compared on a scale. I rolled up the bottom of my pants so they didn't hang since Judas had long legs and I was shorter by more than half a foot. I then head to the guest house with the spare key, sliding in and heading to the first room. I peek inside, seeing Arthur laying on the bed, still fast asleep- luckily for him, it was a bigger bed with no stuffies on it, so he could toss and turn all he wanted and not fall off. I walk over, grabbing one of the pillows and testing the stiffness. I fluff it lightly, a smile spreading over my face before I lift it over my shoulder.

"Wake up, bitch!" I chime, smacking Arthur in the face with the pillow and he jolts awake. I assault him with the pillow, laughing as he desperately tries to defend himself with his arms, laughing heartily. "Son of a bitch, Kiki! Okay, okay! I'm awake!" Arthur laughs, snatching the pillow from me and smacking me with it. I laugh, scooting back as we both catch our breath, still smiling. "Help me wake the others?" I ask and Arthur perks up, his eyes sparkling. "You wake up the two upstairs." He says and I hum, nodding my head before I jog up the stairs, entering the first room. Kozu is laying on the bed, curled up into a ball around a pillow. I smile as I walk over, crawling onto the bed and leaning over him. I kiss his cheek, peppering kisses all over the side of his face, his exposed neck and his shoulder as I gently wrap my arm around his torso. He stirs lightly, still clinging onto his sleep as he hums ever so softly. "Ohayo, Kemma~ it's time to wake up." I chime softly, Kozu stirring more as he slowly blinks his eyes open. They were dazed, still half asleep, a familiar sight with Kozu. "Wakey wakey, Kemma~" I whisper in his ear and he shudders, slowly rolling onto his back and wrapping his arms around me.

"Mm-mm…" He hums defiantly, making me giggle as I lay next to him, lightly fiddling with his hair. He closes his eyes and pulls me close, burying his head into my shoulder. "Oh Kemma… come on, you gotta wake up now." I say, Kozu humming defiantly and squeezing me a little tighter. "Even if I give you a good morning kiss?" I ask and he doesn't respond, though he makes a weird debating face. I cup his cheeks, softly brushing my lips over his- he groans softly, capturing my lips in a tender, sleepy kiss. He pulls me flush against him, relaxing into me as I giggle, kissing him back. I slowly slide my fingers from his cheeks into his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss and slightly parting my lips. He immediately slides his tongue in, groaning softly as I playfully nip his tongue. He pulls his tongue back, nipping my bottom lip and making me shiver. "Mm. Good morning, Pudding." He whispers, his voice low and scratchy from just waking up. "Good morning, Kemma." I whisper back, burying my head into his collar and taking a deep breath. "Mm… come on, up and around. I gotta go wake up the others, grandma's making breakfast." I say, Kozu seeming to perk up even more as I pull away, sliding off the bed.

Kozu slowly sits up, lazily rubbing his eye as I slip out of the room, heading to the next one over. I peek in, seeing Suna laying down on the bed- he was laying on his back, one of his arms tucked under the pillow and the other was laid across his torso. I walk over and crawl onto the bed, laying down next to him. His arm under his pillow slides down, wrapping around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. He rolls over, grabbing my thigh and pulling it over his hip- all while still asleep. I can't help but giggle, sliding my arm around his torso and lifting my lips up to his ear. "Rin, it's time to wake up." I whisper in his ear, though I get no response. "Rin… Rintaro, wakey wakey… Rin… Suna… Suna~ Rin, babe. Rin-babe-o… um… Suntaro? Mm… hm…" I whisper softly, though I still get no response from him- how do I wake him up? I hum, carefully pinching his nose shut- his lips slightly part, making me giggle. I lean up and slide my tongue into his mouth, gently pressing my lips against his- Suna groans, pulling me flush against him and biting my tongue, eliciting a soft moan from me. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue into my mouth, engaging in a hot, lazy tango.

We both pull away a minute later, panting heavily as he slowly opens his eyes, a blistering heat held within. "You're such a tease…" Suna groans, his voice throaty and rough as he starts gently kissing my neck, making me shiver. "It's not like I try to be… you didn't wake up, so I kissed you like a prince." I joke lightly, Suna's hand sliding down to cup my ass and pulling me against his throbbing cock. "I'm awake, I have been since you crawled into the bed… and this? This is the result of your teasing, your kiss." Suna says and I suck in a soft breath as he gropes my ass, making me shiver. "Then you should have said something, silly." I whisper, my cheeks burning as I look up into his eyes. He takes a slow, deep breath- before he exhales, rolling back and tossing his arm over his face. "I'll come to the main house in a minute, you go on ahead." Suna says and I hesitate- he didn't seem upset, but… "Um, do you-" I say, though he presses a finger to my lips, making me fall silent. "Shh… go on. It's okay, I just need a second to compose myself." Suna mumbles, pulling his hand away and dropping it onto his chest. I hesitate before I slowly nod, sliding off the bed and heading back downstairs.

Once again, it felt like Suna put up a wall between us; was I not imagining it? He wasn't upset, at least he didn't seem like he was; it didn't really seem like he was pushing me away either, more like- "Well, hello Kitten. Did you sleep well last night?" Kuroo asks, drawing me from my thoughts and offering me a sweet smile. "Huh? Oh, oh yeah. I slept fine, thank you." I say, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear and dropping my gaze down. "Better than sleeping on the porch swing, I'm sure." Kuroo chuckles and I feel my cheeks burn as I clear my throat. "Yeah, um… thanks for bringing me back in, gramps told me you guys had a talk. Come on, Suna will meet us there." I say, Kuroo humming as I slide past him- Kuroo, Kozu and Arthur all follow me out of the guesthouse. "What did you guys talk about?" Kozu asks, Arthur coming up beside me as Kuroo tells him about my grandpa's project. "Hey, uh… can we talk later? In private? I want to talk about… stuff." Arthur mumbles and I look up at him, seeing that he was anxious. "Sure. Can you go wake Judas?" I ask, patting his shoulder lightly as he groans, stepping into the house. "On it, boss." Arthur mumbles, parting off to the left, heading to my room.

I take a seat next to gramps, Kuroo sitting beside me, Kozu sitting across from me- Grams sets a plate full of food in front of us, a big smile on her face. "Ohayo, thank you for the food." We all say, beginning to dig in- oh, her cooking was always so delicious. I hear a loud thunk from my room, Kuroo looking up and raising an eyebrow. I place a hand on his shoulder, shaking my head and swallowing my bite. "Judas isn't the easiest to wake up." I say and he hums as we hear a whole lot of grumbling that sounded like cursing. Arthur comes out of the room with a scowl on his face, rubbing his shoulder as he sits on the other side of Kuroo. "She'll be coming in a moment." Arthur grumbles, my grandma setting a plate of food before him, seeming to perk him up as my gramps chuckles. "I swear, that girl is something else…" He mumbles, taking a sip of his coffee and flipping to the next page of his newspaper as Suna comes in. "I forgot to ask, have you seen Xavier recently?" My grandpa asks and I almost choke on my bite, quickly taking a drink of my orange juice. "Um, no, actually… I didn't see him yesterday, he must've been busy." I say, my cheeks burning as my grandpa hums softly.

"A shame, that boy was always my favorite." My grandpa says as Suna slowly comes over, the trio looking between us curiously. "Pappy…" I say sheepishly, fidgeting lightly in my seat as he grins lightly. "What? He was." He says and I slowly nod, digging back into my food as Judas trudges out of my room, her hair looking like a birds nest. "Morn'." She mumbles, collapsing into the seat besides Suna, grams setting a plate of food before her and Suna. "Good morning to you too, sleepyhead." My grams says sweetly, Judas offering her a kind smile and digging into her food. "You always make the best scrambled eggs, Mrs. Hayato." Judas groans, making her giggle as she gets back to the stove, working on making my gramps lunch box. "Best for hangovers, of course; we all know that." My grandpa jokes, making my grandma scoffs as she points her spatula at him with a small smile. "Not my fault you dared me to do a keg stand in college, I had to figure out a miracle cure all egg recipe for the hangover that lasted a week." My gram says, making me laugh heartily as I cover my mouth. "It runs in the family, then." Arthur says and I quickly reach over and sock him in the shoulder.

"Ow! That's my bad arm! Right where Judas got me, to..." Arthur groans, my grandpa laughing as he lifts his mug to his lips. "I'm proud to say that Kimiko got her grandpa's hangover habits- that being we don't get them unless we get blackout drunk. Boy, you sure can drink anyone under the table, girl, but you're gonna kill your liver by the time you turn 25. Just like your Gramps." My grandpa chuckles, bumping his shoulder into mine and making me giggle. "Lucky for me, I got a gram's taste of alcohol- only when you party, and then you party hard." I joke, making my gramps laugh and my grandma giggle. "Oh yeah, me and your grams used to throw the best parties. We invented fridays." Gramps says, my grandma giggling even more as she starts packing his lunch. "Course, that was when we were young and dumb. We had to settle down once your mother came along." My grandma sighs, a reminiscent look in her eyes as she smiles. "Judas, doll. Can you tell me how Xavier and the others are doing?" My Gramps asks, catching me off guard- I thought we already steered the subject away from him? Judas hums, looking up at the ceiling while chewing her bite, putting her hand to her chin.

"Fine, last I heard. They're all getting ready for their prom." Judas says and I perk up, looking up at her. "Prom? Prom is coming soon?" I ask, a little excited- I always loved the idea of prom. "It's this week, actually." Judas says and I hum softly, looking down at my plate. "Wah, time flies by so fast…" I mumble, my grandma coming to sit by Judas and perching her chin on her hands. "What's Prom?" Kozu asks, making my gram smile as she turns to him. "Prom is an American school event, kind of like your sports festivals but… It's a common thing for American high schoolers, it's a dance party with semi-formal black tie or informal suits for boys, and dresses for girls." My grandma explains, though Arthur kicks back lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "It's an excuse for a bunch of horny high school teenagers to get dressed up real nice, go to a party that their parents won't tell them no to because it's hosted by their schools; if they're lucky, their date will let them take them home and lose their virginities. They choose the prettiest girl and give her a shitty tiara and crown her the prom queen cause she spent the most on a dress… it's a run down ball, really." Arthur mumbles, fiddling with his fork and humming.

"Oh come on, it can be more than that. It's not as formal as a ball, it's actually quite informal. It's like… a ball party for teens to hang out with their friends and enjoy themselves. I think it'd be fun to attend, especially since they don't have them in Japan. You know, the dress shopping and girl stuff, it's an American thing." I say, a faint smile on my face as I imagine all the fun it would be. "Maybe if you ask Xavier to take you, he would be your date?" My grandma chimes and I hum, placing my fork against my bottom lip. "You think so? I want to go to prom, but… I don't even know if he's going or if he has a date." I mumble, beginning to fuss around with my food as Kuroo bumps me lightly. "Who's Xavier?" He asks and I feel my cheeks burning as I look away. "He's an old friend." I admit, though Judas grins and leans forward on her elbows. "That she used to have a big crush on, that is." Judas says and I shush her, my grandma giggling as she grins widely. "I swear, you were always making doe eyes at that boy, always inviting him over and following him like a little baby duckling." My grandma chimes and I facepalm, slowly dragging my hand down my face as I feel like it caught on fire.

"And that cute nickname he has for her." Judas chimes, both of them looking at each other and making a sweet face. "Ma belle poussière d'étoile." They coo to each other, both of them giggling like school girls as I feel like my whole face caught on fire. "Come on guys, it's been years- and it's just a nickname. Besides, we all know he only calls me that because of gramps." I say, my grandpa chuckling as he takes a sip of his coffee. "I showed him a nebula; he thought it beautiful and it reminded him of you. Seeing as he calls you 'My beautiful stardust', he's really calling you a nebula. I didn't tell him to call you that either, he decided that all on his own." Gramps says and I slowly shake my head, feeling everyone looking at me. "He's working at that library you two used to hang out at, I'm sure you can catch him there." My grandma chimes and I perk up, sitting up straight. "I might go check it out." I say, getting back to eating my breakfast- it wouldn't hurt to look at the books they had available, especially since I was supposed to be resting and relaxing. There was nothing like curling up with a good book and listening to music- maybe I could even get in some cuddle time with the boys? That'd be nice.

"Want me to drop you off then? It's Monday, I've got a late start." My grandma says and I offer her a smile, nodding my head. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like that. I want to go as soon as possible." I chime, though Kozu suddenly clears his throat. "The vlog…" Kozu mumbles and I blink- the vlog? "What about it?" I ask, Kozu dropping his gaze and itching the back of his neck. "We're supposed to do a vlog, remember? You'd give us a tour of your hometown." Kozu says sheepishly and I purse my lips, itching the back of my neck as I hum. "Technically I didn't agree to that, plus, I'm not really sure if that's a good idea… at least not right now. It's early, can it wait a bit? If you want, Arthur can take you but… I want to go to the library." I say, Kozu humming and dropping his gaze, seeming a bit dejected. "Don't mind it, Kozume-San. It's only the second day, a Monday. There will be plenty of time for that." My grandma says, patting Kozu's shoulder lightly as he slowly nods. "If I'm going to drop you off, I might as well do it now. I may have a late start, but I do still have work." My grandma says and I nod, taking one last bite of my breakfast before I hop out of my chair, both of us heading to the door as I put my mask on.

The boys- and Judas- are left in silence, not knowing what to say or what to do with the girl gone. Well, the boys were probably going to the gym after breakfast, but they didn't know what to do after that. They wanted to follow Kimiko to see the extent of her relationship with this 'Xavier' guy and if he was competition. "She left her inhaler, didn't she?" Eiji mumbles softly, noting that the girl left with nothing but the clothes on her back. "I'll take it to her in a bit." Arthur says, taking a bite out of his breakfast as Eiji hums. "I gotta head to the cem to get her bike, someone forgot last night- I can take these three with me." Judas says, Arthur reaching in his pocket and tossing something to the girl- a burner phone. "I got it for Kiki considering she's out and about without a phone, but seeing as you never have one in the first place… I'll call you if we meet up. My number is saved there." Arthur says, Judas humming and taking the phone, shoving it in her back pocket. "Try not to break it." Arthur snorts, Judas raising an eyebrow at him. "No promises. I'm gonna go take a shower, you guys do whatever you need or want to do and tell me when you're ready." Judas says, parting off to Kimiko's room, leaving them in silence again.

"You know the way home. If you need a ride, use this bus pass; oh, and here's my library card." Grams says, pulling two cards out of her wallet and giving it to me. "Thank you, gram. I love you." I say, stepping out of the car and stuffing the cards into my pocket before I walk in the library. I don't go to the checkout area right away- I first head over to the teen book area, beginning to browse through. I came here for books in the first place, not to bug Xavier and get him in trouble when he should be working. We could make light while I was checking out, if he was even working today. "If you're looking for a fantastic book, I'd recommend this one. I've read it myself, it'd be a good read for you." A familiar voice says as they reach over my head, grabbing a book from a higher shelf and pulling it down. I glance back, recognizing his scruffy black hair and emerald eyes as they immediately flash me a charming smile. "It's a personal favorite of mine, if I do say so myself." Xavier says, making me smile as he offers me the book he brought down. "Now, tell me, why would I enjoy this book?" I giggle, looking over the description as he gives me a brief rundown, also pointing out a few other books.

"Ma belle poussière d'étoile, it's a great pleasure to see you. I was about to take my break, could I take you out for coffee?" Xavier says, flashing me his charming smile as he begins scanning my books. "I'd hate to take up your break time. I was actually going to ask if you perhaps had time to talk later today?" I ask though he waves his hand as I tuck my grandma's library card in my back pocket. "Nonsense, a coffee break with you is the best break. There's a new cafe just down the street, I was looking to try it out; I insist, my treat." Xavier says as he finishes scanning my books, putting them in a bag. "Oh, well… if you insist." I say as I brush a strand of hair behind my ear, my cheeks burning. "Your books will be due by the end of the week, let me go grab my things and I'll meet you outside." He says and I nod, taking the bag that he offers before I head outside. I slide the bag over my shoulder, adjusting the strap and looking up at the sky. It really was a beautiful day today, the bright blue sky with a few white fluffy clouds. The sun was shining, a light cooling wind brushing a gentle air over your skin. I wonder if Judas was sunbathing? This was perfect sunbathing weather.

"Come, let's go." Xavier says as he exits the sliding door, offering me his hand and giving me a charming smile. I lay my hand in his, letting him guide me down the stairs and into the sidewalk. "Would you like me to carry your bag?" He asks though I shake my head, looking ahead. "No, I'm fine. Thank you, though." I say and he nods, also looking ahead. "So, you're in America again? It's been a really long time. I didn't get word that you were back." Xavier says and I giggle softly, shrugging my shoulders. "Alexis sent a chat yesterday I do believe, that's around the time that I was able to actually move around. I caught a nasty cold, I'm in for a week. We're going to be taking back the old dumps while I'm around; I heard that Prom is just around the corner?" I ask and Xavier nods, pulling me into a small, quaint little cafe. "It's in three days, actually. Why, would you like to be my date?" Xavier jokes lightly as we walk up to the counter, though I feel my cheeks burning. "Actually, I would like to go to prom… Gram suggested I ask you." I say, casting an anxious glance up at him- he grins, lifting my hand to his lips. "I'd gladly take you." He chuckles, making me smile widely.

"Urgh, what does she even see in him? Look at him, he's so… puny." Kuroo grumbles, idly sitting in the back of the Mustang. He was pouting, glaring daggers at the raven haired male- he wasn't jealous. Totally, not at all. Kimiko and Xavier were sitting on a patio, chatting idly and sipping their cups of coffee. The two were laughing, making wild gestures and enjoying each other's company. "Weren't we supposed to go get the bike from the cem? Not play stalker?" Judas mumbles, Suna stuffing his hands in his pockets as he stares at the two. "Kuroo wouldn't shut up. He just needs to see Arthur get here and he'll shut up." Kozu mumbles, staring down at his Switch- every other second he would send an anxious glance up to the two, feeling pretty fidgety himself. "Right… and he totally isn't a jealous stalker." Judas snorts, Kuroo huffing softly and dropping his gaze. "Not jealous… just…" He mumbles, slowly lifting his gaze back up to the two- his heart gave a sharp pang and he swallowed thickly. "Just don't want him to try anything? You want to be there instead? Pretty sure you're jealous, Kuroo." Judas says, though she wasn't really in the position to judge- she was watching, too.

"You only say that cause you feel that way." Kuroo says, catching Judas off guard- he totally called her out. Xavier checked his phone, saying something before the two stand up. "I think they're leaving." Suna says, Kozu immediately whipping his head to watch, not even bothering to hide it. The two share a tight hug and big smiles, though a familiar car passes by- it was the Fusion. Kimiko waves at Xavier and he turns, waving back and starting to walk away. They all breathe a sigh of relief as Xavier starts walking along the sidewalk in their direction. "Oop, shit-" Judas hisses, quickly pulling down her sun visor and pretending to fiddle with her hair, though she was hiding. Kuroo watches Kimiko as she turns to the Fusion that stopped in front of her, peeking inside. She says something to Arthur before she climbs in, driving off with him. A knock sounds on the driver side window and Judas lets out a long stream of curses, all of them caught off guard. Judas let's out a low groan, reluctantly rolling down her window and putting on a fake smile. "Oh my gosh, Xavier, long time no see! What a coincidence seeing you here!" Judas chimes, making the raven haired boy snort as he leans on the car door.

"Coincidence, right." Xavier mumbles, Judas clicking her tongue and turning away as Xavier leans down, dragging his eyes over the trio and assessing them. "They're new." Xavier comments, dropping his gaze to Judas as she presses her lips together, looking back up at him. "They're competition." Judas says firmly, Xavier humming as he taps the door. "I'll be the judge of that, after all… I have the advantage." Xavier says, grinning as he gently pats the windowsill. "There's more back in Japan, but these three are the serious ones; it's mutual. Arthur's words, not mine. I've even acknowledged them." Judas says, Xavier's smile falling as his eyes dart down to Judas and then the other three. "No matter… we both know why she'll choose me in the end." Xavier chimes, Judas's lips pulling into a grimace as her head and gaze drop. "I've got to get back to work, but… I'm sure I'll be seeing you around." Xavier chuckles, offering Judas a charming smile before standing back up and strolling away without another word. "What does he mean by that?" Suna asks, furrowing his eyebrows and unable to hide his confusion. "Let's go get the bike." Judas mumbles, turning the car back on and driving away.

"Wait, what?" I ask, slowly blinking as I ponder if my ears stopped working properly. "I like Kuroo." Arthur says and I blink again, not knowing what to say as Arthur exhales. "I like him a lot, so… it hurts when I see you two together. I get jealous and I glare at you because it hurts seeing you two together when it feels like I can't be like that with him. It's seeing you two so close together specifically that gets me all worked up, so much that I can't help myself." Arthur says, dropping his gaze and swallowing thickly. "And I feel like shit because you're a great friend, you've always been there for me… I know if I asked you to give up on him you would, but it doesn't feel right asking that, knowing that… well…" Arthur mumbles, running a hand through his hair and sighing. "But… you have a boyfriend now… it's just… it's all so… I didn't know if it was alright, especially since you seem as close as ever. I didn't know if it was alright to pursue him, I didn't know if it was okay for me to ask that of you… I just… I haven't known what to do. But he's just so great, he's so kind and just… I want a chance with him, you know? But not if it hurts you." Arthur says and I slowly look ahead, not knowing what to say.

If I told Arthur that I wasn't really dating Toru, he'd feel bad for telling me all this when I still love Kuroo full heartedly. If I told him that I told Kuroo I would hypothetically say yes to marrying him, would he be even more hurt? If I told him I wasn't okay with it, then he'd be hurt and he'd probably be upset with me, maybe even call me selfish? If I told him I was okay with it, that meant having to let go of Kuroo and possibly watching him get with my best friend. Kuroo had kissed Arthur- he didn't seem repulsed by it, was he attracted to Arthur as well? Could they be a great couple? I wanted them both to be happy, but… what could I even say? Letting go would hurt, it'd hurt a whole lot, especially since I let Kuroo in close to my heart, he was a big support for me. I really didn't know what to say or do- was I being selfish for wanting to tell him to fuck off, for wanting to be possessive? This had been bothering Arthur a lot, enough that he had cried vehemently, he felt terrible for it- was I being a bad friend for wanting to deny him his opportunity at happiness when he had helped me so many times? What kind of friend would I be? But… letting go of Kuroo, letting go of a piece of my heart and soul-

"Kimiko?" Arthur whispers, drawing me from my thoughts as I just stare ahead, feeling like I was suffocating. "Look, I know… I know it's selfish… I just want a chance. Just one chance…" Arthur says and I slowly nod, staring blankly at the dashboard. He just wanted an opportunity to be happy- I knew what it was like to want to be happy. How could I deny him that? Was I not being fair? "Just… don't make him uncomfortable and take care of him, okay… I… I'll…" I whisper, feeling numb as the words slip from me- I felt like I was falling apart, my heart crumbling in my chest. "I… I'll just… I don't know. Go for it… I… I need to walk. Fresh air. Gather everyone and meet at the dumps in 30, I'll be there." I mumble, opening the car door and stepping out. "Kimiko-" Arthur says though I just pause, not even looking back. "Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. Take yours; please, I just… do it, okay. I'll be fine… I'll be fine." I mumble as I shut the door, walking onto the sidewalk as I keep my gaze down. For the first time in my life, I lied to Arthur. Because I knew- I knew I wasn't going to be fine. I was falling apart, knowing that I might have to give Kuroo up, that I might lose a part of my heart and soul.

Arthur drives away and I slowly walk along the sidewalk, feeling completely numb- I left my books in the car, so I didn't have them weighing me down. I slowly look up at the beautiful sky- boy, it was such a beautiful day to just fall apart, isn't it? I swear, the punches just always came when I least expect them in the most painful ways. I can't help but laugh a broken, ironic laugh- come on, let's be realistic, it was never meant to be. I was never meant to be happy, I mean, when was I ever, genuinely, irrevocably happy? My mind flashes to the trio, the times we all laughed and enjoyed together, the times we loved together- I knew when I was happy. I knew where my life came from, I knew when I felt most complete, I know why I hurt so much right now. I had to make a choice- I had to make a choice to let go of my happiness for the sake of my best friend- I had to make a choice between my powerful love for Arthur and my passionate love for Kuroo- I was battling. I was battling hard in my heart, in my mind- I was fighting my morals and my stubbornness. I was hurting, I was aching, I was weak- everything just felt so numb, my mind running a hundred miles a minute, yet blank at the same time.

Was I selfish for wanting to tell Arthur no, knowing that this probably meant the world to him? Was I being selfish for wanted to hold Kuroo and tell the world to fuck off, to not come between us? Yes. Yes I was- I was very selfish, and I was being a horrible friend for even considering denying Arthur; I knew what he was going through, I knew him my entire life- he was my brother, my best friend, cut from the same cloth. Saying yes hurt me, saying no hurt him- but was it fair to either of us? Brushing it off wasn't an option, it only meant more hurt. This wasn't going to be easy, this was going to fucking hurt, it was going to hurt a whole fucking lot- I wasn't sure if I would ever be the same. No, I wasn't going to be okay, I wasn't going to be the same; Kuroo… Kuroo was a part of my life. Letting him go… it wasn't a matter of will. It was a matter of pain and suffering on a level that I never experienced before. Wow, the world always found new ways to hurt you, didn't it? It always brought you up just to send you crashing back down. I felt like I was suffocating- oh, I was hyperventilating. The corners of my visions were black- how long had I been having a panic attack? Or was it an anxiety attack? Both?

I grab my inhaler, giving it a shake and taking a puff of the refreshment. Arthur had brought it for me since I left it behind- he was such a great friend, I mean, really. He was a great friend- I don't know what I would do without him. Seeing him hurt… knowing he was upset with me… I couldn't deal with that. No matter what, Arthur would always come first… right? I collapse onto a bench, staring at the inhaler in my hands as I take shallow breaths. Arthur always put me first, in fact… even when he was hurting, suffering from his feelings… he put me first. He was a great friend- really, the best I could ever ask for. He was always there for me when I needed him, saving my ass and always a call away, even if it meant he got hurt- he risked his life for me, almost died for me. He deserved to be happy… even if it meant I hurt. Right? My vision blurs, my chest feeling tight as I sob. I could live through this, right? I mean, let's face it; I didn't deserve to be selfish. How could I be selfish when he literally almost died for me? But… Kuroo was a piece of my heart and soul, a fragment of my life, a shard of my happiness. How could I just simply let him go? I wail, falling into a sobbing mess.

I trudge into the dump area, my head hanging and my legs feeling like they were held back by ball chains. My arms hung loosely by my side, my body feeling like a sad sack of sludge. It had been thirty minutes- I promised I would be here; even if I was having a mental breakdown, I needed to be there. "Demon Girl?" A familiar voice says, my bat rolling into view as I slowly blink at it- I reach down, wrapping my numb fingers around the bat. "Hey, your attention should be on me, not her." Someone says and I slowly drag my eyes up- oh, I see. They were fighting- there were more people than yesterday. I slowly dragged my eyes over the crowd- the Hellraisers were panting and taking on as many people as they could, even the trio was in on it. I noticed Kozu was also fighting- who knew he could fight? I'm glad he could defend himself, considering everyone was busy fighting. I look over to where my bat came from, seeing Arthur looked pretty roughed up- you know what, I really wasn't in the fucking mood for this right now. Like, I really fucking wasn't up for it; I let the dark take over and it comes in a second, my body already numb- though this was icky and dark, seeping out of me.

I drag my bat along the ground as I walk towards the fight- I see many people pause, turn to me and shiver, though my gaze is on the ground. I move to stand in the middle of the chaos, slowly rolling my head up and glazing my eyes over the enemies. There were a lot, but I was batty so they were no match- I also took notes of all my allies; the black, the trio, Judas, Arthur and Xavier. Okay… I turn my blank gaze to the trembling guy before me. "Well, what are you waiting for, hit me why don't ya? Or are you afraid of a little girl?" I say numbly, tilting my head as I just stare at him- he swallowed thickly, lifting his arm up. "You better make it count, you've got one chance to knock me in one go." I say simply and he trembles even more, putting his weight into it as he punches me in my stomach. I don't even flinch, but the black takes over my vision as I move my arm and hear a loud, sickening crack. My body feels light and numb in an all too familiar way as I jump and dash around, lifting and swinging my bat, hearing loud cracks and thuds with every hit I make. I don't even break a sweat, I don't even flinch or get hit, easily dodging and counterattack anyone who dares to raise a hand against me-

I tear through the enemies like nothing, knocking them out with one hit and not even touching my allies. "Retreat!" Someone screeches and I pick up a rock, tossing it high in the air- I swing my bat forward, a sharp crack sounding followed by a loud thunk. I dash forward, stepping on a small pile of bodies and jumping into the air and lifting my bat- a pair of arms wrap around my torso, pulling me into their embrace. "Hey, breath." They whisper and I suck in a sharp breath, the dark disappearing in a second as my vision suddenly clears. "They're retreating, it's done." Xavier says, holding me into his chest as I fall limp in his arms. The dark icky feeling left and I'm left with the same numb feeling as before, my mind racing but completely blank as I stare blankly at the ground. "Bad day, huh, Ma belle poussière d'étoile?" Xavier says and I don't respond as he sets me on my feet. "Hmm… come on then, let's go detox." He says, taking the bat from my fingers and tossing it to the ground. He takes my hand, beginning to guide me away- I just stumble after him, still dazed out. "Hey- wait!" A voice calls, though Xavier starts running- Xavier was familiar; I ran with him, managing to keep up.

"Kuroo, stop." Arthur says, Kuroo stopping in his tracks as he turns to look back at Arthur. "Xavier… he will help her." Arthur mumbles, picking up batty- it was stained in blood. "She's… hurting, right now." Arthur says, slowly looking around at the carnage around them- a bunch of knocked out people with dark welts beginning to show. "Then we should be there for her!" Kuroo protests, Arthur pressing his lips together as he looks up at Kuroo. "I don't think you understand. She's hurting a lot right now, Xavier will help." Arthur says, Kuroo falling silent as he stares at Arthur. "You told her then?" Kuroo asks and Arthur nods, dropping his gaze. "What the fuck was that?" Kozu croaks, not even knowing what to say- he had been forced to fight too, but Kimiko… "That's the queen of darkness alright! She hasn't lost it one bit! Jeez, I wonder what's got her so worked up though? I mean, to go beast mode right off the bat? I haven't seen her do that since… well, her dad." Jake says, though Sasha sets a hand on his shoulder. "Let's leave it to the knight to bring her around; he'll work his magic and she'll come back as the teeth, not the beast." Sasha says, patting Jake's shoulder lightly.

"Olly!" Xavier calls and I hear something jingle, loud steps sounding as I slowly blink. I'm tackled to the ground and assaulted by an onslaught of wet tongue kisses, pulling me out of my slump. "Hey, Olly. Good to see you, too; have you been a good boy?" I croak, petting the enthusiastic austrian shepherd as he pants happily. "Calm down, boy." Xavier chuckles, gently pulling Olly back by his collar as I slide up, patting myself off. "I'm surprised he's still kicking, goodness knows he's gotta be like, 10 now?" I laugh softly, Xavier grinning as he starts walking, Olly and I following him. "He's still running like you wouldn't believe, you'd think he's an overgrown puppy." Xavier says, making me crack a faint smile as we head towards his vast backyard. "She's… still here?" I ask softly, Xavier nodding as he picks up a stick, tossing it out. Olly dashes ahead, fetching the stick and bringing it back. "Well, she's yours. I'm just taking care of her for you; it's not my place to get rid of her." Xavier says as we head towards the stalls, hearing whinnying coming from inside. "Thank you." I whisper, glad for the distraction- "It's no problem, Ma belle poussière d'étoile." Xavier says as we get close to the stalls.

"You can go to the pasture, I'll let her out." Xavier says and I nod, heading to the fence as Xavier heads into the stalls. I hop the fence, watching my footing as I walk on the green grass. I hear a loud whinny, looking to the barn as I see one of the doors open up- immediately a big, beautiful true black friesian mare bolts out, dashing through the field of grass. I watch in astonishment, an easy smile spreading over my face as I see the familiar gallop of True Beauty. She was like thunder, trembling the ground around her as she pounded across the vast green field. I put my fingers to my lips, whistling loudly as the horse looks over at me- she charges right for me, dashing at top speed towards me. "Woah girl! Easy, easy!" I say as she skids to a stop, blowing as she settles into a standing position. "Well, hello to you too, True Beauty." I say, holding up my palm as she juts her snout into it. "I'm afraid I haven't brought you a treat this time, don't hate me." I say though she nickers as I gently stroke her snout. "Well, I'm glad you're just fine with me." I laugh softly as I start patting her neck and stroking her back. She gladly accepts the attention, butting her head into my chest and making me giggle.

"Oh, Nen? He's back home, I've told him all about you. He wants to meet you someday, maybe I can bring him if I come back sometime." I say, stroking her jaw as she huffs, bouncing her head lightly against me. "What is it, girl?" I ask, tilting my head as she pulls her head away, nickering back at the stalls. "What? You got a friend?" I ask, walking over to the stalls as she trots beside me. I see Xavier by a stall next to the open one, a subtle grin on his face. "I figure she'd bring you to meet her boyfriend." He chuckles, jutting his thumb back as True Beauty peeks her head into the stall. "Boyfriend?" I ask as I peek in the stall, seeing a huge dark brown friesian horse within. "Yupp, meet Dark Chocolate, True Beauty's boyfriend. Not that they've been intimate, I've been waiting for you to show so you can give him your stamp of approval." Xavier chuckles as the dark brown horse whinnies, coming over and sniffing True Beauty. "Oh my… you know why I don't want that, Xavier." I say, stroking true beauty as she blows and sniffs Dark Chocolate back. "Yeah, I know. These two have really bonded though, I mean… bonded." Xavier says, True Beauty turning to me and butting her head into my chest.

"Eh?" I say, Dark Chocolate turning to me and sniffing me inquisitively. I hold my palm out, waiting for him to stop sniffing before I gently stroke his snout. "Yeah, it's not like I want to tie her up or anything. I just want to let them be free together, let nature take its course you know? Let her have her own pack, her own family. Dark Chocolate's a rescue, too." Xavier says, gently stroking Dark Chocolate's mane as he nickered softly. "Oh… I see. But True Beauty was… I don't want to put her through that again, you know that they used her just for breeding since she was capable. That's what I rescued her from." I say, though Xavier takes my hand and gently squeezes it. "Against her will, taking her babies and doing god knows what with them… I know why you're hesitating, but this is an opportunity for her to heal, for her to have a child, a family of her own will with a stud she's bonded with. Bringing a new friesian into the world isn't a bad thing either, you know I'll take good care of her. Besides, if she doesn't want it, then why would she bring you here? She's been fussing with me forever about it." He says and I slowly look at the two horses, both of them nuzzling and grooming each other.

"As I said, it's not like I'm going to tie her up and force her into it; I'm just going to let nature take its course. If she wants it, she'll let him mount- if not, she's free to fight it. It's also an opportunity for her to experience the joy of raising her foal into adulthood, something she hasn't experienced. Of course, I'll do whatever you want." Xavier says and True Beauty looks over at me, butting her head into me- I kind of related to her in a sense. We were both raped and impregnated against our will, forced into situations that were difficult to deal with- I couldn't imagine someone taking Nen away from me without knowing why. I knew for a fact that while I had been scared for so long to try again, to be intimate… I met the right person and they made it absolutely wonderful. The thought of Kuroo made my chest ache, remembering how tender and sweet he had been with me- and how I may never experience it again. "Okay." I croak softly, Xavier pulling his hand away before opening the stall doors. True Beauty dashes off with Dark Chocolate on her tail, trembling the ground like powerful thunder and lightning; it was beautiful as they danced the pasture, so alive, so in love… while I was so heartbroken.