The Dreamer

"Mr. Chanyapol, you said that you've been experiencing nightmares?"

"Khrap"

"resulting of lack of sleep and lack of focus in school. Right?"

"Khrap"

"May I ask when did it started and how many times do you experience this… what you call as 'nightmares'?"

"It started about 5 months ago. As far as I remember , it was November 2, 2005. To be honest it was my first horrifying experience. After that day , my dreams were intermittent but each as if connected.

It was involved with different creatures that I can't explain , places that I never seen before and most of it has an evolvement of blood. As if it was war."

"Can you specifically describe this dream?"

"Well, I wrote it down in a journal but I left it at home. Most of them are clear to me but Ican't describe by words."

"does it mean that , this journal of yours are full of drawings?"

"Khrap!"

"Ok , for now let's try to observe if you'll have another dream regarding this then tomorrow , if you are free please show that journal of yours."

"Khrap! Thank you Khrap!"

As soon as Ipan left the room, his brother stood up from his seat. He was waiting outside for his younger brother.

"so how was it?" He holds Ipan's hand, worried. "I was having depression that's it." Ipan said as he secretly crossed his finger. Ipan smiled at his brother as if it was just a minor illness.

"Let's grab a food before we go home." His brother insisted.

His brother is the only one he have. Their parents already divorced and both have a family on their own.

Abandoned, his brother swore that he will never left his younger brother alone and that he will continually support him what ever circumstances it is.

After they grabbed food, they went straight ahead to their house. "Papa! Unlce Ipan!" Two children greeted them as both of them entered their house.

"Good to see you Uncle Ipan!" "Uncle! Uncle! Come play with us !" as they leap and beg to their Uncle.

"leave him alone , Uncle is tired. Why don't you ask papa? Don't you guys love me anyore?" His brother said. The children frown at their father.

"Oh! What's with that face?" Ipan's brother was surprised at their gesture to him.

Ipan saw that the children were sulking and that his brother was feeling a bit envious.

"Sorry guys , Uncle can't play with you for now … maybe next time?!"

"promise?" the children reached out their pinky to their uncle. "promise!" Ipan lowered himself then he he reached his pinky with his nieces.

On the other hand, their papa is sulking , acting as if he was really really hurt. "Look at your papa, he's going to cry." Ipan winked at the children as his brother acting weak. "meh~ papa is good." The older one said.

"papa said that tall people are brave, I want to be tall too so I can be brave." The young one said. Ipan's brother stopped from sulking.

"Well then, I'm a tall guy and I EEAAATTT CHILDREN RRRAAAAAAWWWWRRRR." The children ran away from their father and went inside.

Scream of children echoes around the corner of their house. "Papa is going to eat us!" "quick hide!"

Not long , a woman came out from the house. "Hi Hon, Hi Nong!" His brother kissed her on the lips.

"Hi P'Ren" Ipan greeted as he bowed to her. "come now, let's prepare the foods." They entered the house with big bags full of foods and drinks.

After they fixed the table for dinner , Ren called her children. "DEIDEI! ILO! DINNER'S READY!" fast and heavy stomps.

Children giggles and tapping wall noises as if there's a stampede. "I'm first!" "no! I'm first!"

The children were racing to the dinner table. "Careful now kids" Ipan's brother said. "now wash your hand then sit with us."

"yes, mom"

Ipan was quietly eating as he smiled remembering the past. "what are you smiling at?"his brother teased him. "I just remembered the time when we were kids." He said.

"how was the visit?" Ren asked her husband as she holds his hand on the dinner table. "well Ipan said that he was having depression." Ipan looked at his brother in an innocent face.

"I suspect Uncle was being bullied!" the older one said. "Ilo eat your vegetables." Ren said. "whoever bullied Uncle , I'm gonna punch him! Pew! Pew! Ya! RRRRRAAAAAA!!!" Deidei thinks that he was some sort of super hero.

"What did I say about , when adults are talking?" Ren looked at her children dissatisfied. "that we should not listen." Both of them said.

Ren saw her husband eating while in deep thoughts. Worried to her husband and her brother-in-law …"why don't you sleep here for today?"

The two children looked at their Uncle with big teary eyes. "na! na! na!" they said. "yeah , why don't you stay with us for today?" his brother willing to spent more time with his younger brother.

Ipan looked at them pressured to decide, he sighed deeply and calmed himself down.

"Maybe next time, the Psychologists said that I should spend time alone for recollection purposes." He smiled awkwardly while hiding his finger crossed.

After having a dinner, Ipan spent a little bit more time with his nieces then went to his condo alone.

Tired and feeling a bit stressed, he took a shower then brushed his teeth. He went to his bed and sat down. He opened the small cabinet that stood beside the bed and pulled out a small notebook.

He placed it on the top of the desk beside his lamp then he took a soporific drug.

He snug himself in as he slowly felt drowsy. His eyes were heavy and his heart begins to slowdown. His breathing was slow.

Ipan woke up the next day. He was feeling comfortable knowing that nothing happened. He took a bathe and fixed his materials, preparing to go to school.

As he was about to get on a tuktuk, a young man ,wearing the same uniform as his , wrap his arm on Ipan's shoulder. "Hey! Bud! Let's go together!"

Ipan looked at him , "oh! Miko it's just you. Let's go" they both ride the tuktuk going to their school.

"ah! I remembered that Ms. Vanethitit had an assignment , did you made yours?" Getting sweaty as the hot breeze in the middle of traffic, Miko asked Ipan.

"yeah~" Ipan showed him as bunch of papers piled in a folder. "Ohoi~ still updated even though you're gone for a bout a week." Ipan smiled at him uncomfortably.

As soon as they arrived in the school, some of the students looking at them , whispering. "Just don't mind them Ipan." Miko grabbed his shoulder then walked proudly as if nothing happened.

Walking in a hall full of eyes and ears, a group of soccer team who were sweating passed them by. "Ohoi~ isn't this the weird duo?"

"two princesses"

"one snow white and the other Tut!" one of them looked at Miko and Ipan in a disgusting way.

"AY!.." Miko was about to punch the other guy but Ipan stopped him. "Calm down , it's not worth it.

Let's just go." Ipan said in a low tone while avoiding eye contact with the other people. He dragged Miko away from everyone else. "I'm sorry that you were involved in this kind of mess."

Ipan feeling embarrassed in front of his friend. "No' it's ok. We're friends remember? But those bullies?!" Miko was boiling , thinking of those soccer team.

Not long, they noticed the time. Immediately the both of them separated. Miko went to engineering department while Ipan went to his architectural department. They only meet during the same period of the same professors.

Ipan entered the room , he saw eyes looking at him in hunger. He quietly looked for his seat while his head down. When the professor arrived , he immediately saw Ipan.

"oh! Ipan! Welcome back, I'm glad you are here." The professor greeted him warmly as a response , he smiled and bowed to his professor.

Despite of the professor's greeting, he still heard some whispers behind his back. "isn't that guy from the video?" "I guess he has no shame after all."

Hearing those things, he endured the knives on his back from puncturing him. He focused his eyes and ears to the lesson as he took down notes.

The whole day, he kept quiet and took down notes while acing the some quizzes and pop tests.

Some finds him disgusting , some empathizes him but most of them are jealous of his works and achievements in school.

Despite the event happened before his leave.

School day ends and Miko can't be with Ipan going home because he was having an errand.

Being an understanding friend, Ipan went home by himself. He ate his dinner on the way home and also did his assignments during his free time.

When going back to sleep, Ipan noticed that his journal was missing , thinking that he misplaced it.

He looked for his journal underneath the bed, inside the cabinet and even other places of his room.

Getting frustrated, he took a piece of paper and a pen then laced it beside his bed.

He took his pills again laid comfortably, he closed his eyes and waited for the drug to kick in. a few minutes passed by , he felt a bit uneasy.

He opened his eyes and saw the clock, "oh!? It's 12:15 pm , 15 minutes already passed but still not working?"

He tried to sleep again but another 15 minutes have passed but he still could not sleep. Getting stressed, he took another pill and ate a cookie hoping that he might fell asleep. By the time of 2 am he went to slumber.

Suddenly he woke up and he felt the warm feeling and saw a bright room. He looked at the clock and he saw that he was a few minutes a head of his usual alarm. He did not bother to sleep again instead he stood up and prepared for his class.

During the class where Miko and Ipan were room mates, Miko noticed that Ipan looked a bit pale and his eyes were a bit swollen. "someone didn't get enough sleep." He teases as they write the professor's lesson.

Ipan who wasn't on the mood, he nodded at Miko.

He thought that Ipan was feeling tired and restless due to projects and reporting occurring those times.

After their class, they went home together.

While walking , Miko saw that Ipan was being unusual. He was walking slow, sipping at his cup slow and spacing out. He could not take it anymore , he blocked Ipan "What's the problem?"

Ipan didn't saw or heard anyone , he just avoided something that blocking him.

Miko noticed it so he slapped Ipan at the back. Ipan felt the pain and looked immediately to Miko. "WHAT THE HECK?"

"I called you few times already and you are just spacing out! What's wrong? Is it the people around you? Tell me so I can teach them a lesson."

Miko confronted him. Ipan sighed deeply and open up.

"No, I don't really care about them but… last night my medicine didn't work. I could not sleep properly anyway, I'll just buy another one . the one that actually works." Miko wasn't convinced but Ipan on the other hand was genuinely asking himself all day long of why does his pills didn't work.

Miko and Ipan separate ways after reaching the corner of the street. Ipan did what he usually does before sleep but this time he took 3 pills.

He closed his eyes but the time he woke up it was an hour before his usual alarm.

This happened for a week till he ended up could not sleep at all. He stopped his pills and bought a different brand hoping that it will helped him but it did not. At first he thought that he was having a drug resistance but he already used different brands of soporific pills. None of those made him sleep.

This continued for 2 weeks straight, he slept only for an hour at day time and sometimes unconsciously during class hours.

When his session with the Psychologist arrived, he noticed that Ipan got slim and pale, his eyes were reddish and can tell that he wasn't having enough sleep.

The psychologist already knew what was going on, he jumped already to inquire of his situation.

"did you have another episode?" He asked. Observing how Ipan would react.

"No but I some how could not sleep." Ipan said worriedly. "did you bring your journal with you?" he asked. Ipan waved his head disagreeing , he took some pieces of paper from his bag and gave it to him.

"I lost my journal but I happened to redraw them when I was alone at my room." Architecture he is and an intelligent student, the Psychologist was surprised how detailed and how good his drawings were.

"Can you describe this picture to me?" He showed one of the drawing that Ipan made. "that was my first dream." It was depicting a young man falling to a deep and dark place.

"Well, in that dream , I kept on climbing big , small objects such as door, boxes, chair etc. then at the edge of those objects I jumped to it then fall. I keep on falling and falling , got nowhere to go but fall. It was dark and heart dropping."

"well it seems like it wasn't you , who were falling. Based on what you drew , it is clear to me that it wasn't you but someone else. Am I right?"

"Khrap"

"What about this one?" he showed another drawing depicting a bridge with the heads of a dragon placed on the side of the bridge. There a man shadow figure standing from far away distance.

"that one was a bit scary. As if it was an after war. As you have noticed that the water is red. In my dreams I happened to explore that beach side. I saw floating organs and other body part of human flesh as if there's something lurking on the water that kills people.

The sand remains pure but the sky looks like it was about to rain heavy. I heard a loud roar from the ocean then echoes to the sky. I certainly don't know what it was but it was scary."

"Interesting… then what about this market train place? The train station and the market place looks similar separately but this collaboration looks so fascinating."

"ah~ Khrap, that was the time I was chased by a creature that I can't understand."

"Do you have a drawing of these creatures that you saw?"

"No, because I can only picture out the place rather than the creatures."

"oh ok but can you tell me what happened?"

"That time I went down from the train then I saw from a far a dog like figure creature. Everyone was running a way except a guy who sits inside the train. The train went away with that guys but the creature saw me…"

"Does this creature you were saying is somehow the creature from the bridge that you draw?"

"No, it is somehow connected but not the same creature."

"ok proceed please"

"the creature saw me and it looked at me, out of fear I ran as fast as I could but vendors , stacks and other objects blocked my way. I managed to passed it through but the creature seems to follow me in a bout 5 meter distance. I tried to trip it but that thing could run on the wall or ceiling."

"What do you felt after that dream?"

"I woke up feeling exhausted"

The session went by talking about Ipan previous dreams. His psychologist noticed that in every drawing that he saw, there was a young man in a distance. He did not mention anything about the reoccurrence of this man from Ipan's dream because he wanted to observe him more.

He gave him a prescribed medicines. He also advised Ipan to not stressed himself out.

The next day , it was sport fest on their school but Ipan did not enter any clubs or sports so there were no reason for him to stay there but Miko insisted him to cheer.

"Good luck on your marathon ok?"

"thanks"

"the marathon is about to start , I'll go and buy food from few stands here." Miko started to do some exercises to war himself while Ipan was looking for a good stall to buy foods.

He was standing on a food stand when a group of boys stood behind him. "buy me that Tut" a guy said while pointing to one of the meals on a menu. Ipan looked behind him and saw the soccer team who bullied them.

Ipan tried to avoid them but they got pissed so they dragged him to a secluded area in school premises. "Hey Tut!" a guy pushed Ipan to a wall , cornering him. Ipan was vulnerable being grouped by bullies. Ipan was avoiding eye contact and could not do anything.

"you are the guy that suspended my brother right?" Ipan didn't say a word. One of them showed him a scandal video. "you are the guy right? You and my brother were doing this right?" he shoved the phone to Ipan's face.

He cried while being shoved by a phone as he resist the force from being strangled on his collar. "enough!, enough! What do you want from me?" he kept on shouting.

"my brother wasn't going to be suspended! My father will not be disappointed at him. He wasn't supposed to be depressed but because of you a TUT! Who exposed my brother!"

"HE DESREVED IT! AFTER USING ME , BLOCKMAILING ME SO THAT HE COULD HAVE HIGH GRADES, THAT HE COULD HAVE A GOOD LIFE?! WHAT WAS IT FOR ME? MAKING ME FALL , PLAYING MY FEELINGS, MAKING ME A TOY SO HE CAN ACHIEVED THINGS?"

A guy pushed him against the wall out of anger. The other member were stand by , watching the show. "HE DID IT FOR DAD! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"THAT'S HIS PROBLEM NOT MINE!" Ipan shouted. The guy could not contain himself so he punched Ipan on the face then back off. "let's see if you still have the guts to talk boldly." He raised his eye brow to one of his men.

The two of them pinned down Ipan and stripped him naked as for the other guy , he was filming. Ipan struggles but could not resist from the other men's hand. He shouted for help but no one came, his throat was getting exhausted to the point that his voice slowly became husky.

When they were satisfied, they left Ipan alone naked. His hair was a mess, his body full of bruises and his eyes were swollen. He was just laying there , tired. His eyes were wide open spacing out.

Miko arrived and saw a foot, laying behind . He saw Ipan, he tried to help Ipan but Ipan is too exhausted to talk. He stood up while Miko helped him to dressed up.

"who did this to you?" worried but Miko did not heard any answer. Miko assisted Ipan to his place. He did not bother about his marathon but worried sick of his friend's situation.

When Ipan finally back to his consciousness he asked Miko to leave him alone for a moment. Miko left Ipan to his place.

On his room, Ipan could not do anything but space out. Traumatized by what they did to him, he was sexually harassed twice by the siblings in their school.

Suddenly his phone notified him a text message. He looked at his phone, still traumatized he saw a video and a message from the bullies. He was being blackmail again.

Out of stress, he threw his phone in aggression. He went to his bathroom then washed himself thrice in violent way. There were new bruises added on his body. After bathing, he took his pills and took as many as he can grab.

Eventually he passed out. His door was knocked down by his brother. He looked for Ipan but could not see him on his room. When he looked at the bathroom , he saw Ipan laying down the floor with pills all over the place.

He tried to call him out but Ipan wasn't responding. He rushed on the hospital nearby with Miko inside the car. "WHAT HAPPENED?" as Miko saw Ipan unconscious "I don't know!" his brother responded as teary eyes were about to pour.

When they arrived at the hospital, Ipan's life could not be saved. He died from too much sleeping pills. Saddened from the lost of his younger brother, he thanked Miko for calling him out then he immediately reported it to his family.

Ipan's brother stayed at the hospital to prepare his burial, Miko went home afterwards. The news immediately spread that the school itself also mourn for the lost of their students. Most of them felt guilty about him.

Ipan's body turned cold, eyes shut and no more heart beats. Lungs stopped from expanding and the last air already been released out from him.

Then after that His eyes opened, he looked at his surroundings and examined himself. Ipan suddenly rose from his bed. "I'm alive?" confused.

Ipan woke up then he looked at the time. It was 6:15 am. He looked at his phone and saw the date. It was the day after the visit to his Psychologist. He immediately called his brother.

"P' did I ate there last night?" His brother responded "uh" knowing that his brother was just woke up from the bed. He then ended up the call. He looked at his surroundings and he saw his journal beside his bed.

He wrote his dream about his death. Then he went to school, no one gives a care about him or his past. All they know was that the guy who got suspended was a jerk that he deserved it. Ipan on the other hand, did not get any trouble or even bullies.

When his session with the psychologist arrived, He then showed his journal and told him about his death dream. He even told about the existence of Miko, his friend.

In his dream , he was diagnosed as Insomnia but in reality he was diagnosed as having Dream Disorder, wherein his dreams were all nightmares.

It was lead by his parent's divorced 3 years ago, he was depressed and had anxiety attack. Ipan was emotionally attached to his mother but when she gave up on him , she vanished from Ipan's eyes.

5 months ago, Ipan was sexually harassed from one of the seniors in the school after his coming out. He was black mailed traumatized by it that even in his dreams it appears to be dark and scary creatures.

~ END of chapter