Perfect Diary

"Dear Diary October 31,2017

Today, I was awarded by my teacher. She said that I did excellent. My classmates cheered me, so I smiled back at them and thanked them.

I was flustered 5555. Everyone was warm and the atmosphere was lively, except for that guy, pertaining to her new classmate.

… He seems to be mischievous. Maybe he was anxious, maybe he's shy. He was pale , gloomy eyes and quite good looking…"

"Sofia~" Her mother shouted.

"I'll finish my diary later" Sofia whispered as she closed her notebook and sealed with a DIY lock. Then she dashed down from her room to the dinner table.

"I called you many times already! What are you doing?" her mother said annoyingly while stirring the pot of broth soup.

Sofia bowed her head slightly down, clenching her fist behind. "I'm just writing an essay .Kha " She said

"Go fix the table" her mother commanded her. She quickly took the plates and utensil from the cabinet. Then one by one , she placed it on the table with caution.

In just a few minutes , there's a squeaky door noise heard. Then followed by a foot step. "Good evening papa, Kha" Sofia greeted with enthusiasm.

Her father waved his hand at Sofia as he took off his shoes.

Sofia thought that her father was exhausted because of his facial reaction and his gaiting. The family sat down for dinner with a dead air.

A short after , they were eating while Sofia was feeling anxious. "I heard from one of my staff that your grades already been released." Shocked, she paused and could not move a nerve while her father was waiting for her response.

Hesitant at first, she toughen up "Y..yes…Yes father, I was… I am the top of my class Kha" She avoided her father's sight. The mother raised her one eyebrow as she cut the meat on her plate. She smiled with sinister aura.

Her father paused from eating and gazed at her daughter with displease "let me see your report card" She hasted to her room and took some papers. She looked at it, reviewing everything that was in it. Her hands were shaking and her heart beats fast.

She took a deep breathe and slowly went down stairs where her parents were waiting. Nervously , she handed her report card and went back to her chair. She slowly sat down without taking off her eyes on the papers.

Chaotic mind, palpating nerves and sweating profusely, she ate her food as she hears her heart beat beating fast. lub dub , lub dub , lub dub.

Her father sighed after seeing her report card. Her mother shook her head in dissatisfied way. Then she heard a loud pitchy sound that she can't describe as her sight were blurring.

"This is it?" her father asked. She was surprised by her father's reaction. "what's wrong? Kha" she asked politely and confused. "you said that you can improve these scores of yours but I'm so disappointed on you. You just maintained your grades! There is no improvement at all!" pissed he said to her daughter.

"BUT I ACED EVERYTHING!" Sofia shouted, bursting her feelings. Her mother stood up and forcibly slammed the table "HOW DARE YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO YOUR FATHER!"

She looked at her mother, clenching her fist and willing to fight back but "Sorry ma , sorry pa Kha" she said. She gazed away from her parents and trying to calm herself down.

"Tsk, WHY AM I GIVEN AN UNCOMPETETIVE CHILD LIKE YOU? WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE GINA? SHE IS NOW IN THE US" her father said as he compares his daughter to their neighbor's.

Hatred, she stood up and went upstairs. Her parents were displeased by her action but they didn't bother to compromise with her. Instead , they took out a red wine and intoxicated themselves.

Sofia angrily shut her door and locked it up. She lean on her door as tear drops fall on her shirt. She slowly raised her head and she saw her diary notebook. She quickly took her pen and scribble her previous diary.

"Dear Diary October 31,2017

My parents got angry at me because of their expectation. I aced every subjects of mine and yet they were not satisfied. They even compared me from my best friend Gina but what they don't know was that Gina was already dead because of depression…

Tear drops falling on her notebook making the paper to be saggy.

…why are they so obsessed with school marks? Why do they always angry at me? Is my best was not enough? Am I that difficult to understand? Why do they always complain about me?

Did I complain about them? Papa , came home last week reeking of alcohol. Mama hiding her drugs on her purse but did I complain?..."

Her pen gets heavier and heavier as she write. Suddenly a scratch form hole on her paper appear. She went back to her own conscious and stopped. She looked at the scratch then she grin.

She wiped her tears and unclogged her nose with a tissue paper. She went to her bathroom and washed her face. Reddened eyes and nose , she managed to calm her self. She looked at her reflection and took a deep breathe.

She went back to her room and sat on her study table. She begun to read her book and study.

On the next day in her class, the mocked quiz result was given by the teacher. Teacher announcing the top 5 students starting from the bottom. Most of the students passed but what makes it intense was the top result.

"top 2 of the class is Sofia Ayutthaya." teacher handed her paper while everyone was murmuring. Sofia was displeased by the result but she still smiled, showing a positive energy to her class.

She sat down on her chair thinking that it could be a mistake. She carefully read her paper and looking thoroughly. "Our Top 1 would be Miko Anchali.."

A boy passed through Sofia and caught her attention. She looked at him , she felt a heavy burden fell on her. "Congrats Mr. Anchali , quite competitive I see" Miko smiled at his teacher as he receive his paper.

" Thank you , Khrap" he went back to his corner seat as Sofia's eyes followed him. Students whispering to one another.

"He's kind a cute, don't you think?"

"Wow! he's smart!"

"I'll date him if I were you"

"Smart and handsome, he might dethrone Sofia"

"Look at Sofia being 2nd . What do you think she felt being a bottom by someone superior than her for the 1st time!"

Hearing such criticism, Sofia crumpled her paper secretly. Feeling annoyed , she waited for teacher to finish the papers and as soon as teacher left, she stood up.

Walking straight to Miko with dignified posture and firm walks, she was determine to set boundaries with the transferee. As soon as Sofia reached his seat, she tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

"Hi , Congrats Kha! I hope we can share study lesson together Kha" Sarcastically, She smiled at him , giving off a positive vibe. Miko didn't smiled back. He raised his eyebrow and with a cold response he said "thank you Khrap" she felt as if she was being mocked.

"Do you have a problem with me Kha?" she asked bothered by his response. "No Khrap" Miko smiled at him in a warm way. She was confused by different response ."But earlier you responded in a cold way" feeling weird and yet boldly asked.

"huh? But I didn't do anything." Miko said innocently. Sofia left Miko feeling confused and weird at the same time.

At her home, she was writing on her diary. "… I'm pretty sure that he responded to me coldly but he seems to be nice. I'm so confused. He was gloomy but he seems to be approachable. This transferee person is really confusingly wierd…"

Suddenly her mother broke in with crumpled piece of paper on her hand. "What is this? Why is it on the trash bin?" annoyedly showing it to her daughter.

Shocked, Sofia couldn't talk about it. Her mother got pissed so she grasp Sofia's arm tightly and slapped her on the face. She was so scared that she was trembling.

"Cause…uhm..I was placed … 2nd in our mock quiz." She truthfully said. "See! This is the result of your sluggish and selfish act. You rebel on us and now look at this. Your father will not be happy about this." Her mother saw a notebook lying on her bed. It looks a bit fancy among her book so her attention was caught up.

She pushed away her daughter and took the notebook. Sofia saw it so she quickly stood up and tried to steal her notebook back but her mother resists. "you got busy with this huh!" Her mother said annoyingly.

She open the notebook then she read it out loud. "MAMA! NO!" She tried to tackle her mother but she was slapped that she lose her balance.

Her mother read a few phrases in front of her. Devastated, she cried and could no longer bring herself up.

As soon as her mother was finished. She threaten her and left her room and the notebook. Her mother was furious because of what she read. She opens up a few bottle of red wine and drank.

Sofia lost her senses. She was sitting on the corner of her room gazing. Her eyes were like a pool of void, dry lips and toned facial bones. Sofia didn't attend the class for 3 consecutive days.

Worried teacher, she asked Miko to look after Sofia. But he was displeased by this. " Why me? Khrap" wondering for techer's respond. "Your class officers are so busy for our upcoming events and as the top of our class, you are obligatorily to look after your classmates." teacher explained.

After the class , Miko went to the address that teacher gave him. He saw a large house and a garden. Sofia was looking at the window without Miko noticing. He rang the bell and called out Sofia but no one responded. He was about to leave when a red car stopped by.

A woman came out of the car. She was wearing a white coat and a sunglasses. "what do you want?" the woman asked out of curiosity. Miko bowed to respect the woman. In Miko's eyes , she was rich and a powerful woman. "I'm just looking for my classmate. Khrap" he said.

The woman looked at him from head to foot. "he is wearing the same school uniform. He looks smart and a bit of pale." The woman thought.

She took off her glasses and asked "are you one of the top in class?" Miko thought that the woman doesn't like punks based on appearance. "Yes Khrap. I am the top of the class Khrap." He said. The woman opened the gate of their house. "Come in" she said as she smiled at him.

Inside the house , there were no maids nor servants despite of the big house. There were friendly dogs running around the house. "Sofia! Your classmate is here!" The woman shouted.

Going down stairs was a girl in pajamas with frizzy hair, pale and darken under eyes. "Yeah , I know she's a mess but please take care of my daughter. I'll change for a moment ok? Oh! And by the way, do you have anything in mind? I'll cook." The woman said while smiling at Miko warmly. "nothing khrap" he said.

The woman left them alone. Sofia looked at Miko with nothing-ness in her eyes. "I know why you are here. Come." She said coldy. They head up stairs to Sofia's room.

Miko saw different scribbled art pasted on the back of her door. On her desk full of memo pads, printed papers and pens that are scattered. Her bed was also a mess.

Sofia cleaned her study table and sat there. "come sit here." Sofia said. Pointing the bed side near her desk. "so… what was the past lessons" Sofia asked. "here" Miko gave his notes with a worried look. Miko attempted to ask about Sofia's well being. But before he could do so Sofia already respond "I know I look pathetic right now.

Funny huh" she giggled while tears falling down on her desk. Miko hold her hand warmly, Sofia looked at him with a smiling face yet with pain. "let's talk about you first before we begin" he said.

They spent the day talking about what happened. Sofia even showed her bruises that are hiding from her pajamas. For that moment she felt the comfort that she needs. She felt warm , satisfaction and as if someone finally understood her.

Night has fall, Miko was about to leave. Sofia's mother invited him to dinnerIn dinner, there was an empty chair and Miko noticed it but he did not tend to ask. Driven by curiosity, Miko asked instead "Where does the father work ? khrap"

Sofia looks at the door as if she was waiting for someone. "Her father was working in marketing." Confused by what Sofia's mother said. Miko was thinking what could be the reason why the mother said "was"

"he probably had a lot of paper works to do" Sofia said. Miko went home after dinner as he was being ushered by Sofia's mother in a car. She was worried about Miko going home at night.

Sofia was left alone. She heard the door as if someone was coming in. She took a peek and saw her father. He was reeking of alcohol with a kiss mark on his neck. She greeted her father but he was too drunk that she complained about Sofia being the 2nd placer in class. she tried to assist her father but he got pissed.

He punched her daughter in the face that she got bruised and cried. She left her father drunk and went upstairs. Out in pain, she wrote on her diary about what happened.

"… My father was so angry at me that he punched me. He has a kiss mark and yet I didn't dare to ask. I love my parents and I wished that they don't argue to each other. I also that everything went back to normal, when they care about me and we were happy. When I don't need to worry about this crap…

Heavy breathing and difficult to move, tears falling down and a runny nose. Sofia still writing on her notebook.

"…My mom will be angry at me again but I have a feeling that today will be different. I will call Miko to seek an advice. To be honest I'm tired of this. I already endured 3 years. And now that I am graduating in high school I just wished that they change."

Midnight comes that she called Miko. Everyone was asleep already. She talked to Miko and asked for advice.

"To be honest there are few option that I can give.."

"What are those, exactly?"

"First , leave but of course it doesn't solve your problems at all…

Sofia thought for a second. She thinks that Miko was right that her problem will still exist.

… The second is kill yourself but you will never enjoy the life that you may experience. Third, kill them to end the problem. Lastly, endure it till you graduated. Either way it's your choice, I'll sleep now. Bye"

Miko ended their conversation. Sofia thought thoroughly , thinking that she doesn't want to endure anymore.

Sofia smiled and thought that he truly gave her the answer. Miko on the other hand, was annoyed for calling him late at night. She just have to choose. That night , Sofia went to her parent's bedroom. Her parents squinting their eyes as their doors opened. "What do you want sweety?" her mother asked.

Suddenly a loud woman voice was heard in the neighborhood. Gina was worried so she called the police and went to her bestfriend's house. Sofia went outside covered in blood.. Gina dropped her phone out of shock while Sofia was just smiling at her.

The next day , Gina went to the hospital to talk to Sofia's Psychologist. Gina wants to know what happened to Sofia. Out of empathy , Sofia is now an orphan.

The doctor gave her 3 things that was retrieved from Sofia. A diary notebook, A plastic phone and a bloody cutter. After receiving those things, she went to Sofia's house.

Gina went to Sofia's house. Everything was a mess and Sofia's parent's room was sealed. Gina went to Sofia's room. She saw her desk and her bed. She saw the scribbled art at the back of her door. It was inked in black with many cannot be described images.

Gina's heart fell and shattered to pieces. She open Sofia's diary and read it all. While words cipher on her head , eyes were watery and she was feeling constricted in her chest."If only I have the courage, if only I listened to you, if only I became a better best friend to you Sofia. You will never experience this" Gina said while crying over her lost Friendship.

Apparently, Sofia was diagnosed of Schizophrenia. The Doctor said , it was all on her head. Her father died 3 years ago and her father's dying wish was for her to excel in school. She took it as if it was an obligation Out of pressure and stress to achieve her father's dying wish, Sofia went overboard that she developed a mental disorder.

Miko never exist instead it was the Doctor who visited them. Miko has never texted Sofia because she was using a fake phone all along.

She also imagined her mother having an inter action to his dead father. Gina never die nor did she went abroad but she just left Sofia out of her parent's command.

Sofia hurt herself whenever she felt pressure and her mother was there to stop her.

But in the end she was alone and that she killed her mother , the only one that took care of her.

~ END of chapter