DIANDRA COMPLICATED THINGS

Waking up Diandra open her eyes being in his arms. Her back was touching his chest and his right arm was across her body.

She was hugging his left arm, realizing he was completely undressed she release his left arm. 'Where are my clothes?

Trying to think about what has happened, did he break his promise? How could I be so stupid to trust anything he had said.'

Moving his right hand wanting to get away from him. But then what had transpired during the night flashes back only to realize it wasn't his fault.

'He was asleep and I had awakened him, urging him to fulfill my needs. He was afraid but I encourage him.'

Wiping her tears knowing this wasn't his fault. I am the one to blame, every day I spend in this house, I keep complicating things more and more. What will happen now?'

Being angry with herself, shifting aside when he spoke. "Please honey don't go," pulling her into his arms as he kisses the nape of her neck.

Diandra hear him whispering his love over and over. "Honey, today is Saturday and I am off, now settle down."

Gently stroking her body hoping she will respond and what had transpired during the night, will repeat itself, but instead she held his hand to stop, "What is wrong honey?"

"I need to use the washroom," feeling her body was on fire with his touch. 'I have to get away now before things worsen and I will not be able to control the hunger and desire.

Then things will become more complicated, and I won't be strong enough when it's time for me to leave.' "Please pass me my robe?"

Seeing him stretch his right hand picking up a robe, "Alex this is yours."

"Don't worry go ahead and use it."

Confused and frustrated Diandra walks slowly to the washroom as the tears flow, "Oh God, he is not the one to blame, this one is on me.

I have to think fast everything has changed now. The way I had hated him I never thought we will come together, I came to help out to repay Christina for her favor.

I thought the hate between us will keep us apart, but the more I tried to pull away it's like a force bonding us together.

What am I really going to do Lord? You are not hearing my prayer and I am getting in deeper, way over my head than I had anticipated, I need Your help.

Please Lord, first it was my foot because of my foolishness, then the plank almost drop on me and now this. I have to get away as soon as possible.'

Feeling the sweat running down her forehead , wiping it with a piece of tissue paper. "What should I do, I don't want to hurt him, I don't even know if I have the strength to leave him and this house anymore.

Hearing the voice in her head saying, "Diandra, have you listen to yourself lately, so if you stay here what will become of Champ?

You have to think about him first, then consider what Sam and Maria did for you how can you be ungrateful?"

"I know you don't have to remind me."

"Diandra, when he rapes you the first time Champ came on the scene and what you did last night what do you think will happen now?"

"I am not getting where you are going with this conversation but , I know it was my fault what happened last night."

Hearing the laughing in her head, "You are such a fool just suppose you get pregnant again how will you answer to Sam?

You know he needs you and his eyes are like a hawk, so tell me how long will you hide it and shield Alex, now everything you have been concealing will be out in the open."

Feeling like her head will explode taking both hands and hitting her head. "Just shut up, I need time to think so please leave my head and don't confuse me more than I am already?"

Diandra, drop the robe and went to the bathroom opening the water allowing the cold water to soak her head as she stood under it just so it will cool her brains.

Crying as she prays, "Lord Jesus, please help me, I don't have any idea how to get out of this mess I have gotten into.

Lord, I am so scared of the many secrets I have shelved, and if they are revealed then Alex will come to know about Champ.

Then the next thing I know, he will want custody or he will think that I was unfaithful. Lord, Alex and I are now getting along, and I don't want to go hurting so many people, they will all be so disappointed in me."

Feeling this heaviness overshadowing me, like if all hell have broken loose, "Ken has this notion that Sam and Maria have adopted Champ just as they have adopted us.

He also accepts the fact that Champ calls me mummy, because I take care of him. With Champ carrying Mellford and I Preston, he never suspected anything.

Sam and Maria never revealed my secret, and there is also the work in the radio station the both of us does, which I have to take into consideration.

Please help me to simplify this situation, seeing now after so many years, Alex has accepted my illiteracy."

While drying herself then change, trying to come up with a plan but nothing comes to mind. Passing by the bed seeing his body exposed.

Reaching out her hand and pull the covers over him, 'His body is sturdy not an ounce of extra fat and he has matured a lot from then to now.

I know that I have gotten attached to him,' Looking at him sleep, "I will miss you so much."

Walking slowly out of the room, the foot isn't paining so much and the swelling has almost gone.' Viewing each room, Diandra was pleased with their work, 'They have done an excellent job, she was glad to be a part of the designing.'