Death

Like every Monday, the school was bustling with activity. It almost seemed as if everyone had gradually forgotten what had happened here exactly a year ago.

I bit my lower lip hard as I saw the students outside the entrance, casually walking across the floor where Joy's body had been lying.

The sympathy cards, teddy bears and candles had been cleared away just three weeks after her death. They also quickly emptied her locker and rented it out to others.

It was almost as if they had all already forgotten what had happened here.

They probably all wanted to forget it quickly, too.

I shook my head slightly disdainfully.

Today would be a cruel day.

But that was clear to me from the start.

...

When I got to the classroom, I sat in the last row, as I always do.

My gaze slid to the empty seat next to me. My heart immediately contracted painfully.

There she sat with me. Exactly one year ago.

The tears wanted to fight up again, but I stifled them as the teacher entered the room to start the lesson.

Then I scraped up all my courage and raised my hand in determination.

"Yes, Christina? Do you have a question?" Our class teacher asked me interestedly.

All eyes were suddenly on me.

I swallowed hard before I spoke:

"Could we maybe have a minute's silence today? For Joy?" I asked, fighting back the tears and trembling lower lip again.

"Of course." The teacher said pityingly.

But for better or for worse he was the only one:

"Look at the hypocrite. Apparently she was good friends with Joy, but she didn't realize how shitty she really felt the whole time." I heard a girl from the penultimate row whisper to her seat neighbor.

I clenched my hands under the table, my fingernails digging painfully into the palms of my hands.

That was the only way I endured the rest of the double lesson. The pain kind of distracted me from those idiot classmates.

Gradually I couldn't stand them anymore. Not without Joy.

Since Joy's death, almost no one has wanted anything to do with me.

But I didn't care. I didn't want anything to do with those assholes anyway.

...

During the break, as always, I sat alone in my seat and scrolled around on my phone's social media while biting into my sandwich.

"Hey, Chris." I heard a familiar, husky voice say.

I turned hastily in the direction from which I heard that beautiful voice.

"D-david?!" I asked, blushing.

Was that really real just now?

Can someone pinch me?

David rarely spoke. It almost bordered on an honor when he spoke to someone of his own accord.

"That was really cool of you just now... so... with the minute's silence for Joy. She was really a nice girl." He said, surprising me, smiling warmly.

"Yes... she was." I said quietly.

Nevertheless, my cheeks somehow turned quite red. David was just so great. He was so damn handsome too.

"Don't let the others talk you into anything. You were a good friend to her. You two always hung on to each other and laughed a lot. I think she was very grateful to you for that."

"Thank you … really." I managed to choke out hoarsely.

Please don't be so nice to me. It's only going to make things worse, I thought bitterly. I bit my lower lip for a moment.

It wasn't fair anymore.

Why did David only have to be into guys?

It was really grueling.

When I found out back then, a little world collapsed for me.

Because I really loved him very much.

I still do.

And Joy had also helped me and supported me. Although she had much worse problems herself.

Maybe I should just throw myself off the school roof too.

* * *

Except for the wonderful conversation with David, nothing really happened at school.

As always, I was ignored by most of my classmates while ignoring them as well.

As always, group work was the worst and of course our sports teacher had to send us through athletics hell again.

When school finally ended after a long, gruesome day, I headed towards the cemetery.

I wanted to visit Joy.

I bought a bouquet of white chrysanthemums from the neighboring florist to put on Joy's grave.

"Hey, tell me... are you here alone?" the florist asked me, slightly concerned, as she tied the chrysanthemums into a pretty bouquet.

"Yes." I replied curtly.

"But take care of yourself. There's been a lot of robberies at the cemetery here lately." The florist warned me as she handed me the bouquet.

"Do not worry. My mom didn't put me in a self-defense class for nothing." I said, smiling mildly as I took the flowers and put the money on the counter.

"Good. But really take care of yourself."

"Yes, thank you for the warning."

The seller was really nice. It was nice of her to warn me.

However, I wasn't too worried. After all, nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

Lost in thought, I strolled along the main path of the large cemetery.

It took me half an eternity to finally get to Joy's grave.

Her tombstone was gray and drab.

The inscription read only 'A Loving Daughter and Friend'.

As if her parents had chosen the first gravestone with the first inscription that came along.

But I could probably be glad that it wasn't just a simple wooden cross.

I took a deep breath as I stood in front of her grave.

I clutched the bouquet in my right hand in desperation. I tried in vain to hold back my tears.

"Joy...I'm...I'm sorry I was such a miserable friend to you. I'm really sorry. I wish... I wish I could talk to you again. At least one more time. To really apologize to you." I just managed to mouth while tears were streaming down my cheeks.

Then I knelt down next to her grave to put the bouquet in front of her gravestone.

Before I could get up, however, I suddenly felt a hard, dull thump on the back of my head.

It hurt like hell.

I felt myself gradually losing my balance and also my consciousness.

Just what had happened?

"Come on. See if she has any money with her." I heard a harsh voice behind me say.

It sounded far away though. Kind of muted. As if there was a wall between us.

I could still feel hands feeling me frantically before my eyesight went completely black.

"Shit, why is she bleeding so much?!"

Was the last thing I heard.