Chapter 3
A - worst fear?
M - Andrew, it's three in the morning…
A -wow srry didn't mean to interrupt ur beauty sleep, princess
M - No, it's fine on my end, but won't your 'Daniel' get mad?
A - psh what's Daniel gonna do? spank me?
A - he knows I'd be into it
M - Andrew…
A - srry sometimes I forget ur not supposed to say some things
A - not before the first date at least
A - buy me coffee, Matthew?
M - You're asking me to buy you coffee when I can't even afford rent? If I wasn't an assassin who threatened the landlord, I'd be living on the streets, Andrew
A - geez fine guess I'll pay
A - how am I ever supposed to get a sugar daddy if I'm richer than everyone I know
A - #bougieproblems
M - Three am you is so frightening…
M - I don't understand what # is in this context? Tic tac toe?
A - three am me is LIVING
A - tic tac toe… I can't with u omg
A - answer the question
M - The worst fear one?
M - Death, I suppose. Yours?
A - losing the ones I care about :(
M - Hm. Favorite food?
A - I'm getting whiplash
A - I get all deep and ur gonna be all basic? ok
A - uhh spaghetti?
M - Spaghetti…
A - oi what's wrong with spaghetti?
M - Nothing, but having it as your favorite food is a bit…
M - Mine is dark chocolate. It was the first sweet I was able to have as an orphan child. I still remember the bittersweet taste coating my lips…
A - man choco doesn't count as a favorite food, it's candy
M - Excuse me? I share my tragic backstory and you're going to play semantics with me?
A - teehee srry
A - hm…
A - have u always been an assassin? I know u said u killed someone as a kid so
M - No, I only started professionally around seven years ago. My first kill was… spur of the moment
M - I was feeling a bit adventurous that night
A - that's what people say when they decide to get drunk off vodka, not when they decide to kill someone, Matthew
M - Funny of you to assume I wasn't also drunk off vodka that night
M - In any case, before I started my current occupation, I dabbled in the various odd jobs, whatever would pay the bills. Bartending, acquiring and selling illicit goods…
A - stripping?
M - Occasionally
A - seriously?!
A - wow…
M - Are you imagining it?
A - maybe a little bit…
M - I was quite good at it too. After I left, I had regulars begging me to come back
M - So I stabbed them
A - hot
M - Even the stabbing part?
A - especially the stabbing part
M - You know, I changed my mind. I quite like three am Andrew
M - I suppose it's my turn now. Do you work? Or are you perhaps still in school?
A - neither
A - I was homeschooled but it was never that enforced. my godfather kinda spoiled me
A - he wants me to take over his family business but idk, I don't rlly want to
M - Oh? What's the family business?
A - secret lol
M - I won't kill you, you know. I quite like you
A - that's what all the assassin boys say
A - mm yknow speaking of boys
A - I was gonna ask. ur gay?
A - since u get all thirsty for cumberbatch
M - Very.
M - Back in the orphanage, I used to have a crush on this kid named Billy. I killed his rabbit to try and impress him, but he just started bullying me. They called me a devil's child. Like, excuse me? Child? If anything, I *am* the devil. I'm that cool
M - Homophobia is so tough…
A - there's so many things wrong with what u just said I'm not even gonna try
M - Well, what about you? Any preferences?
A - bi. found out during my scene kid phase when I was 13 and this skater boy seduced me
A - he didn't even need to kill any rabbits to do it
A - he just did a flip and winked and I was like 'woah'
A - ah, my youth…
M - God, I hated the scene kids. Kept throwing eggs at me
A - lmaoo why were kids throwing eggs at u?? u probably deserved it smh
A - anyways I was a cool one. had neon blue hair
M - I think they didn't like me because I was poor and gay
A - well, if it makes you feel better, the gay scene kids wouldn't throw eggs at you
A - I'm jk they totally would lol
A - btw what are u gonna do since u didn't get paid for ur last job? do u have another murder planned
M - No, my last job was actually supposed to cover me for the next couple of months. I don't know what to do now. Starve, maybe? Well, I'll figure something out
M - I swear, if Sirius Black ever shows his face around me again….
.
A - srry what?
M - I'll stab him? I thought it was pretty implied
A - nonono I meant uh
A - sirius black?
M - Yes, he's the mob boss that organized the hit. Perhaps you've heard of him?
A - hahaha
A - haha
A - wow
A - brb
M - Andrew?
M - Andrew? Are you still there?
M - I don't know what brb mean
M - Hold on I found a YouTube video explaining it
M - That's what lol means? I thought it was a person with their hands up. Because they're excited
M - What an informative video """lol"""
M - Are you back yet?
M - I guess you've fallen asleep. Sweet dreams, Andrew