Chapter 8 I Didn't Know Mom Had A Secret

I was lying on my bed recalling the events that led to Cass' accident. I don't say it to anyone but I feel guilty that Cass got into an accident while I was with her. Maybe if I didn't ask her to go to the festival with me I could have prevented that.

I was staring into the ceiling lost in that thought when mom entered my room. I didn't hear her footsteps.

"Cassie, feel like going to the mall tomorrow?" Mom asked as she looked at me lying on my bed.

"You're early mom," I said surprised by her early arrival. "I didn't hear you coming."

She briefly scrutinized me and clapped her hands.

"I don't have work tomorrow. So, feel like going out for a change? We can eat out and hang out tomorrow."

I just looked at mom. She has an excited voice while talking but she has been busy for the past few weeks.

"Won't you need rest more than us going out tomorrow, mom?" I asked her back, concern in my voice.

"Shh...sweetheart. It's not only me who has been busy these past few weeks," she said back to me, dismissing the question. "I don't mind going out on a weekend with you, Cassie. Let's bring Paul if you like."

I immediately frowned at the thought. I'd been with Paul for over a week. He is a fastidious manager. He always reminded me what I have to eat. It's like being a caged animal for a show which I actually am but I wouldn't mind spending time with just mom over the weekends.

"Just the two of us, mom," I immediately said. "I'm always around Paul. He wouldn't mind it."

"If you like," she agreed then asked me, "So, where do you like us to go tomorrow, Cassie? Any particular thing you wanna do?"

I thought for a second. What must Cass and Mom love to do during the weekend?

"What do you and Cass usually do during the weekend, mom?" I asked her curious.

"We go to a pedi and a spa to relax and just have fun."

I immediately frowned again at her statement. I've been dolled for the past few weeks I think I've lived enough and there are those activities too lined up on my daily Cass schedule which a pedi and a spa were included.

"Let's go watch a movie, mom."

I then said looking at her.

"Sure, Cassie."

"Let's go to the zoo."

Mom frowned at me.

"Aren't you a little too old for that?"

"But I miss Piggy and Babe," I said to her feeling misty all of a sudden at the thoughts of my favorite pigs in Ditchling.

"Who are they?" Mom asked me wondering at my statement.

"They're pigs," I told her. "They're my pets in our house in Ditchling, mom."

"Your dad still keeps the old farmhouse in Ditchling, huh?" asked mom mildly surprised. "I thought your dad already sold it."

"Yeah, we go there every school break. Dad wouldn't sell it. He said it's his happy place in the world."

"Isn't that your happy place in the world?" Mom asked me with a scowl on her face. "Your dad told me he was planning on selling it."

I immediately raised my body to a sitting position on the bed to look at mom.

"He never said that," I said shocked by the information.

"Well, he told me about it three years ago when he came here to pick Cass."

I relaxed at her statement. Phew! That was three years ago. Why did I never know that?

"Well, I'm glad dad didn't sell it. I love the farmhouse, mom," I told her softly. "It's the place where you, dad, Cass, and I used to live in harmony then. I wouldn't trade it with any other houses in the world."

"Except your house in Brighton?" Mom asked with a smile on her lips.

"Not even that," I said shaking my head. "Dad's successful with his firm in Brighton so we live there. But we need a getaway and Hopperhill will always be home, mom."

"Maybe I should go with you on Christmas to England," said mom suggesting her idea for the holiday break.

My eyes brightened and widened in excitement.

"You will?" I asked her excited.

She nodded.

"I'm considering the idea," she said thoughtfully. She put her hands on her waist.

"You're going to join me for the holiday break?" I asked her persistently delighted by the news. "Dad would be pleased. He would be chuffed to see you."

I took my phone from the side table and was planning to call dad right away.

She raised her arms and made an X gesture.

"Don't call him."

"Why?" I asked scowling

"He's going to be overexcited if he knew I will be coming over for the holidays. You know your dad can be over-the-top."

I put my phone down beside me.

"But, of course, mom," I whinnied at her. "He loves you dearly. He loves you still."

I looked at her with romantic eyes.

Mom's face turned passive at hearing me saying dad still loves her.

"He still does, doesn't he?" She mildly asked.

"Maybe you can get back together," I said hopefully. Suddenly the thought of them coming back together put a wide smile on my face.

Mom frowned seeing my face.

"Cassidy, it isn't that easy," she said with a serious tone shaking her head.

"But at least you're going to see him," I said brightly, "after ten years, mom."

I said not wanting to sound accusatory.

"You could have visited us in those years."

She just looked at me, her face expressionless.

"I see your dad when he came to pick Cass in those days, Cassie. That was enough for me to see him."

She crossed her arms.

"I didn't go to England because I didn't want to see your dad, Cass," she said. "The divorce took a toll on us and after the experience, I never wanted to see your dad again."

"Why did you and Dad divorce, mom?" I asked. I wanna know the truth. All these years that we've been apart, mom never explained the reason why she and dad separated. And every time I visited her and Cass, we never really talked about it so I just left it as though I've always wanted to know what caused mom and dad to divorce.

"Was there a third party involved?" I queried mom.

Mom looked at me with a sad expression on her face before speaking.

"You were supposed to have a brother, Cassie," she said with a forlorn voice.

I stared at her face, extremely surprised by the news.

"Really?" I asked my voice slightly higher than usual. This is the first I've heard of that. I never knew mom had a secret.

"If that was so, what happened, mom?"

She closed her hands together and looked at them.

"We lost him before the first month. I felt so guilty about losing the baby. Your dad was ecstatic to have another child. He was hoping it would be a son. But, I slipped one time while working in the farmhouse and bled. So, I lost the child, Cassie."

I stared at mom speechless for the next few minutes. I never knew that. I've always wondered why mom and dad divorced. We have always lived happily then. The house was always full of laughter and happy memories. Now, hearing this information coming out of mom's mouth, I was struck with surprise and sadness. I never knew that mom was expecting during that time.

She had a mild accident back then at the farmhouse. She slipped on the mud while feeding cows. Mom had a habit then to feed the cows every morning. It was her daily routine. But one morning as she was getting more hays to feed the cows, she walked on a slippery side of the farm where there was marsh and slipped on it. Dad said it wasn't a bad fall.

I couldn't believe that accident made me lose a baby brother.

I suddenly felt tears welling in my eyes

"Why didn't you say it then, mom?"

"I was overcome with grief and guilt, Cassie. I couldn't handle it well. Then, your dad was seeing Melissa again."

I was dumbstruck at the mention of another woman.

"Who is Melissa?"

"Your dad's first girlfriend. She saw him many times while I was going through the grief of the baby we lost. We quarreled and a major fight broke out between us. You were never aware then because you were only six, you and Cass. But, over time resentment built around me and I just couldn't keep on living with your dad anymore so we decided to divorce."

I knelt on the bed and walked towards her.

"Oh, mom," I said stretching my arms and hugging her when I reached her standing at the edge of my bed.

"It's okay, Cassidy. It was long ago, anyway. Time heals wound, sweetheart," said mom hiding the sadness in her voice. Then, she smiled at me. "So, we head for the beach first in the morning?"

She asked brightly.

"Ugh," I complained again. I forgot that we live in Malibu where the beaches are famous. "I'd rather sleep throughout the morning."

I said looking at mom. I'm not really an early morning person. And the best I can wake up is before 9 am. But, mom, she's an early bird.

"Rise early tomorrow, Cassie," she said while still hugging me. "Let's enjoy a morning dip before we go out and have fun."

"Yeah, I will."

I said, disgruntled.

We were by the beach applying sunscreen lotion on our arms and legs when two men came to us. The older man had a belly stomach while the younger one had a wonderful physique. It was well-toned and he sported six-pack abs.

"Hello there, Liz and Cass. Warm sunny Saturday we have here," greeted the old man removing the shades on his face sliding them on his head. He removed the hat he was wearing and fanned it on himself. He was wearing a bright and colorful Hawaiian top, a pair of beach shorts, and leather slippers.

"Hello, Mr. Jones," said mom warmly to them while she was rubbing her arms. "Hello, Stephen."

The younger man just nodded to her.

He was close to mom's age with maize gold waves and a sharp angular face. He was bareback only wearing sky blue shorts. I looked at his feet and he was barefoot. In every sense of the word, Stephen was hot.

Stephen and Mr. Jones live from across our street. The beach we visited was just a ten-minute walk from our house.

While I looked at our two neighbors and mom casually conversing with them, I couldn't hide my fear that maybe Stephen must be single and he must be interested in mom. I could stare at his abs. I looked at Mom feeling the chagrin but she was oblivious to me. She was all smiles as she talked to them.

What if he becomes mom's future husband? I thought anxiously. The thought hit me like lightning.

"It's been a while since we saw you two here, Liz," said Mr. Jones looking at us, then the sea. "Haven't seen you around for a while."

"We've been busy these past few weeks. We only got time today to enjoy the sun," said mom conversationally. "Have a seat with us."

She said gesturing the two to sit with us. I looked at our square cloth where we were lying.

I have to do something, I thought alarmed.

"Mom, don't you think that this cloth only has a room for us?" I asked her mildly. "Our picnic basket and our towels can only occupy the space as much."

I told her. To emphasize my point, I stretched my leg to further show her that we no longer have any more room for two more people.

Stephen seeing my reaction spoke.

"That's okay, Liz," he said in his Australian accent. "We're just roaming around, dad and I here. We have our spot over there."

He said pointing to us a blanket laden on the ground where a woman with a beach hat wearing a bathing suit over a transparent white shirt was sitting.

"Mom's over there enjoying the sun while Dad said he will walk for a while to enjoy it."

"Yeah, well, sorry about that Mr. Jones and Stephen," said Mom with an apologetic smile.

"No big deal, Liz, we'll just see you around."

Stephen said looking at mom then at me.

"Let's get going then, Stephen," said Mr. Jones, smiling at us. "Drop by sometime in the house, Liz when you've got time."

"Yeah, I will, Mr. Jones."

With that, the two men left.

I continued applying lotion on my arms and legs when mom spoke again.

"What was that Cassidy?" she asked looking at me with her x-ray vision.

"Nothing," I said and smiled back at her.

I rose from the blanket and casually said, "Let's go swim in the sea, mom."