One last kiss

Al had been back almost a week and things had finally gotten back to normal with me and Sunny.

Sat at the breakfast table, Layla nursed her coffee as she looked through the morning mail. To my surprise she held out in front of me an envelope with my name on it. I took the letter tentatively, looking at it I could tell right away where it was from. I took a really deep breath, placing my tensed fingers at the edge, ready to open it.

The room went silent all realising what the letter was. I tore open the letter slowly, sliding the paper from within its envelope. I unfolded the letter and began to read, I could feel the tension in the air as everyone held their breath. I finished reading the page twice and let my hand holding onto the paper fall into my lap. A look of confusion sunken into my face.

"So… what does it say?", Layla said delicately expecting the worst. I mouthed words but nothing came out. I tried again this time only a whisper escaped I summoned my strength and tried to speak again.

"I got in!", I mumbled, my eyes now welling up as everyone cheered almost instantly. Everyone rushed over to me hugging me tightly. I couldn't speak I just kept rereading the letter over and over, thinking I must have read it wrong. Al was jumping up and down in excitement until Layla scolded him for it. Oscar, Owen and Oliver all tried to grab the letter from me to read it themselves. Eventually Layla calmed everyone down as we resumed breakfast.

"Congratulations son", Layla beamed from across the table. "You have wanted this for so long and it's finally happening". I nodded shallowly, not completely excited by the news. She could tell i was conflicted about the news. "What's wrong, why aren't you pleased, I've never known you to want anything as much as to go to École Lenôtre. Have you changed your mind?", she asked with a look of concern.

"No I do want to go, but at the same time I don't want to leave everything here", my head was started to feel too full of options. I had to think this through.

"You don't want to leave Daisy, but you don't want to miss going to Paris either?", Layla was right I expected this decision would have been made for me when my rejection letter came. Now I had to choose and I just couldn't. Al was looking at me with a worried expression that never usually came out.

"My boy I wish I could tell you what to do right now, but this is a decision only you can make", he pinched his lips in and nodded thoughtfully. "Whatever you choose to do though we will always be proud of the man you have become", he said as he patted my back walking out of the room. I think the idea of me leaving was difficult for Al to deal with. After all he raised me as his own son and I don't think he wanted me to leave.

After breakfast I sat in my room staring at the letter. I was giving myself a headache thinking about it, but I couldn't see Sunny until I decided how to tell her about this. I held up my phone beside the letter, the pictures of us together on our first date displayed on the screen. My eyes shifted quickly between the two, my head thumping harder as I looked. I didn't have work today so I planned to go pick Sunny up in about an hour, but now I felt the impending pressure of the letter weighing over my head.

I sighed to myself, defeated, I knew this conversation with Sunny would be hard. Putting the letter into my pocket, I set off to her house, the questions of what to do swirling around my head. Do I go to Paris? Should I stay here? Could I ask her to come with me? Would she even want to? Would I end up resenting her if I stayed? Would she resent me for leaving? The unanswered questions began to pile up more and more until I felt miserable.

Reaching her house I tried to clear my mind before knocking on the door. I steeled my nerves and tapped on the door lightly. The door creaked open slowly, as I saw Sunny stood in the doorway smiling softly at me. Her smile melted away in a moment when she saw the frown that had taken over my lips.

"Hey, what's wrong why do you look so sad?", she asked looking worried. I attempted a smile but not much of one came.

"I need to tell you something", I reached out my hand for her to take and she took it without hesitation. I walked with her to the lake in silence, her worried look deepening. We sat on the edge of the dock, I felt sick at what I was about to tell her.

"Do you remember the first time we came here?", I asked her, not yet ready to talk about the letter.

"Of course I do", she rested her head against my arm. "You brought me here on our first date".

"When you kissed me in the boat, I couldn't believe how you pounced on me, you had seemed so shy before", I smiled to myself, remembering how passionately she has kissed me.

"You were being such a flirt what else could I do?", she giggled her sparkling green eyes shining up at me, my heart sinking at the thought of what I had to say.

"I was flirting so much because I just couldn't help myself, you sparked something in me even I didn't know was there", I brought her hand up to my lip and kissed it gently, keeping it held to my lips for as long as I could.

"Sweet are you okay? You seem different today", she leaned closer to me taking my cheek in her hand. I placed mine over hers and felt my words choke in my throat.

"Sunny, it came", those were all the words I could muster. Her emerald eyes now looking concerned.

"What came?", she looked at me puzzled and in that moment I wanted to just throw the letter in the lake.

"My letter from Paris…", I sighed a mix of emotions permeated through me. "I got in", I said as quickly as I could. If I didn't rush them out I didn't know if I could get them out at all.

"Oh", was all she said as a look of sadness flushed over her face. She pushed the feeling away and forced a smile through her obvious pain.

"I know it's..", I started to say before she interrupted me her smile growing even wider but her eyes still looked sad.

"It's great, I'm so happy for you, I knew you could do it", she said sweetly stroking my cheek with her thumb. She was trying her best to hide her pain from me but her eyes never lied.

"I don't have to go", I whispered kissing the inside of her hand. Her eyes started to well, she swollowed them down to not shake her smile.

"Yes you do", she frowned her eyes ready to unleash tears at any moment. "I know you want this, you're so talented and I won't let you stay", I few tears broke through and ran down her cheeks, her voice quivering.

"I can't, I can't leave you, would you come with me?", my eyes welled at the sight of her teary face.

"I want to, so much I want to but, I can't leave my mom I'm all she has in this world", tears began to fall freely now. We both knew what this would mean.

"It's five years, how can I cope without my sunshine?", my eyes now poured, I wrapped my arms around her holding her tightly against my body.

"I'll be right here when you get back", she smiled as she cried endlessly. She wiped my tears away with her hand but they continued to run down my face.

"We can make this work, I won't let you go even if I'm a million miles away", my words made her expression warm and press into me deeply.

"Promise me you won't stay", she sniffled, stifling her crying. This promise felt like a stabbing in my heart.

"I promise", those words felt like acid on my tongue, making that promise just made me cry harder.

"Now we should celebrate because this is good news", she kissed my cheek which was drenched in tears. I nodded somberley, wiping her cheeks that were bright red by this point.

I squeezed her tightly and took her head in my hand. I kissed her with every bit of feeling in me, it felt bittersweet almost like it was the last time I would be able to give her, one more true kiss.