REMEMBERENCE 6

But life is not what we always decide. I heard his voice again in my ears.

Yes, my Xian ge called me again. with so much pain in his voice.

"What? Why?? My Xian ge is in pain...but why?? Why my Xian ge is in pain. I can't let him be in pain...No I need to help my Xian ge. I need to get up right now. I need to get up."

That time all I think and did was what my heart asked me to do. I tried hard to open my eyes and I saw him again.

Sitting near me, my head in his lap, calling me...Almost shouting at me or for me. His one hand under my neck and one hand constantly tapping my left cheek. His broken pearls wet my face and shirt. I tried to call him from his stupor but it got difficult to speak but still, I called him in my horse voice and he came out of his daze.

"Xian ge.........."

"Judi... Judi ar...are you...are...are you okay?? Judi you...you...why...You... almost...you..killed me...Ju di... Judi...You..."

He tried hard to speak something meaningful but every try made him even more confused and sad that nothing made sense. Other than one thing that he loved me so much. For his constant babbling. He kept on doing it for a long time till my mother didn't shake him by her hands and said the angry words to be heard by both.

"Xian Xian...Shut up...He has come back now...He is back with us Xian...Xian Xian stop it Xian Xian...XIAN XIAN..."

She almost shouted her heart out in front of him to call him back between us and when he woke up the first thing he did was to hug me tightly as he will never let me go again. For a long time, I enjoyed being in his tight embrace. I looked around in the room still in his embrace and then realised slowly that I wasn't in my bedroom but a hospital room and the things came out one by one in my mind about what must have happened.

That night Xian ge reluctantly left me to go home to get fresh, and then mama told me what happened in the last four days. Yes, I was out for the last four days continuously. Didn't have any consciousness for four days in a row.

She told me that, that day when I came back from school I got a high fever. The doctor came home and gave me the medicines but nothing worked on me even after a whole day. They took me to hospital and I almost ended up sleeping for four days in line without any consciousness in between. Doctors were shocked that nothing worked on me.

My fever didn't come down at all in those four days. Doctors feared that the fever must have reached inside my head and that's why nothing was working on me. Then in the morning, they told us that now they can't do anything and then it was Xian ge who called me back just like any other time.

And I came back to him just like any other time. My Xian ge called me and how can I just ignore him. Not in million years. I came back to him again. When he came back again just like before I made him sleep next to me in that small bed of the hospital. Just like before I arrested him in the cage of my octopus grip.

I sniffed his neck as usual and kissed his cheeks with a lot of warmth which I had for him. His cheeks and neck, warm and soft at the same time as always but something was more added to them this time. The salted taste of his checks made me realised the love he had for me. I used to love that. I used to give him kisses on his forehead, cheeks and neck at that time but it was just pure love at that time.

That night also was the same for me but things somehow changed for my Xian ge or maybe everything was changed since the day we slept together camping only. The next few days went in taking care of me but then soon he told me that they are going to go away to their ancestral home for someday and something again broke inside me.

"Xian ge just now you started to speak with me normally and you are again leaving me for days to live without you. No, Xian ge I don't want to live without you. I can't live without you."

That day I made it hard for him to go with his family. I fought with him without any reason and told him to go away from me forever. Yes, I was really cruel to him but I just didn't know what was happening to me. He never left me alone before that as this and I thought maybe if I will show the tantrums he will stop for me. That didn't happen, he left me alone and went to his ancestral home. Those days I spent without him was still making me feel worse and I just fought with him...

I lived four days without him and it almost made me difficult to behave properly. It was like a curse for me which God gave me for fighting with my gege. I missed school, I skipped lunches, I left my homework, I roamed around the whole day where we used to go often. I did everything that we used to do when we were together.

And then that day came when my Xian ge came back.

When they came back at night they stayed for dinner and I got gala time with him but I was reluctant to let him go away from me so I took him in my room to show him my new lego set and deliberately sleep in his lap who was sitting on the bed.

I heard my mama called him to go home but when she saw me sleeping in his lap asked him to stay back and sleep with me. He also agreed like always. We slept together on the same bed because of my constant plastering...It never changed and then like always I kissed him good night.

"Xian ge good night..."

"Judi you were pretending to be sleep right??"

"Yes, I was not sleeping but I didn't do it because I was being mischievous. I did it because I wanted you to be with me. Xian ge since we came back from that camp you are changed Xian ge. You don't feel like my Xian ge anymore. You don't like to spend your time with me and you try to ignore me all the time, so I needed to lie with you tonight. You are keeping a distance from me and I don't like it at all. Xian ge, can you please tell me what is the problem so that I can help you. Xian ge have I done anything wrong? Am I that bad Xian ge?"

I asked him with the utmost feelings I had for him and moisture in his eyes told me to answer.

Words were not needed. Really I wasn't expecting any words from him!

Nor the excuses. Really I wasn't expecting any excuses either from him!

The only feeling that was melting us together was conveying through the eyes of each other's heart at that time.

Soon I found myself in my Xian ge's embrace. The force was crushing my bones but the warmness was making us melt into each other's hug. Soon I drifted again in the world of dreams in his embrace, where my Xian ge was standing with open arms for me but before that, I felt something soft brush on my lips lightly enough to make me aware of its presence.

My Xian ge was trying hard to be with me all the time at home but he was still avoiding me in school. Which I still didn't know why?

I tried hard to know the reason but he always made me shut up by his time which he was giving me at home but soon the day came which I still hate the most...My birthday...

To this day I hate my birthday so much...My birthday was the worse day of my life! That was the day when I got the worse birthday gift of my life and since that day I celebrated my birthday mourning for the death of our beautiful relationship of love, care and affection.

Because that day I saw my Xian ge got kissed by a girl who was his senior. In that old storeroom, I saw her kissing my Xian ge shamelessly and my Xian ge was getting kissed by that famous slut of our school. He was only 16 years old at that time and that girl was more than 18 who almost failed twice in the same class.

AUTHOR'S THOUGHTS:

hey dear readers, What Song Jun saw was heartbreaking enough for him. How a ten year old kid was supposed to react to the things which are happening in front of him? The most important person of his life who used to share everything with him was now kissing a girl who was cheap and bad in the eyes of younger's mind.

Not knowing about any physical relationship other than kissing on cheeks and forehead that to only one person who was near and dear to him, what will churn in the innocent mind? How he can take the smutty thing happening in front of his eyes that too with his own Xian ge? isn't it torture to the innocent mind?

What will happen next? How Song Jun is going to react to what is happening in front of his eyes? Please stay tuned to the book. Please do comment.