Chapter 31 : Bitter Break

by

     I stood against the hood of the car and watched as Sam and Dean talked with the mechanic. It was a lost cause. I knew that. I could tell by how they spoke in hushed tones that it was pointless. The only thing it was good for now was a couple bucks at the junkyard and a few beers to drown the last few days away.

     I cringed as I caught Dean's pitiful glance. He had made it a point not to look at me since last night, but I knew he couldn't help it. Neither of us could. It would have been different if Cassie had been the first one he ran to when he came back last night, but it wasn't. It was me. He managed to rid the world of Cyrus Dorian, and instead of running to her to make sure she was okay, he had wrapped his arms tightly around me.

    He didn't say anything. Neither did I. I wasn't even sure I could have even if I had tried. I had made myself a promise after the boys had taken off that no matter what, I wouldn't go down that road. We were better off bickering and tiptoeing around the tension between us because at least he would be safe.

    A heavy sigh escaped my lips, and I rolled my eyes at the boys. They honestly did not know how to whisper, and I was sick of being treated like a time bomb. It wasn't like I would go on a murder spree because my bike had bit the dust.

      "Can you two just let it go?" I snapped, more harshly than I had intended.

    It pulled them out of their conversation, and for a moment, I couldn't read the expression on Dean's face. He was stuck somewhere between sympathetic and aggravated, but I couldn't tell what side he favored or why. When his eyes gaze fell to his breath, it gave me a chance to take a deep breath. Something happened last night, and it had been eating at me ever since, clouding my mind at times even more than the scrap pile of metal sitting behind them.

    I hadn't expected to see it just lying on the ground. It melded with the other crushed parts scattered around in small piles, but it caught my eye the moment Dean pulled in. It may have been just another mangled meld of metal, but it still shined so much more vibrantly in the rusted sea it sat in. 

      "Dean!" I grumbled, hoping he would find the hint in my tone. "Let it go."

      He stepped away from his brother, nodding at them to continue the conversation, and turned on the heel of his leather boots toward me. His steps were small but quick nonetheless. It was as if he had been trying to delay the conversation I had in store for him, but in the short distance between us, he had come up with nothing to say.

       "Can we just find a bar, please?"

       His brow raised before his head, but when his eyes met mine, I shrunk. He seemed more torn up about the ordeal than I did. "He said -"

      I shook my head. "I don't care what he said, Dean." My tongue twisted on his name, and I sighed, trying to hide the discomfort I felt between us. "I just want a drink."

     He dropped his head again and mustered a slight chuckle. "You and me both."

      "Then why are we wasting time here?"

      "I figured you would want your things from it. He said your bag is in his office, and some of the parts might still be -"

      "Dean." His lips pursed as he slowly looked up at me. "I said don't care. Okay?"

      "I thought it was your father's, though. You don't want anything from it?"

      My head dropped to my hands as I squeezed the small key in my hand. The small red rabbit's foot it had been attached to had been lost on impact, leaving me with nothing more than a shard of metal that meant nothing without something to use it with.

      Dean stared at my hand as I held the key up between us. "I don't need a pile of scrap to remind me that my life sucks."

      I debated on tossing it into one of the hundreds of piles around me, but something in me hesitated. I knew there was no point in keeping it without an ignition for it to start, so I held onto it a little longer. I wasn't sure what it was that kept them warm metal between my hands, but the moment I pulled back to toss it, Dean reached up and gripped my wrist tightly.

     "What are you doing?"

      I tried to pull away from him, but his grip didn't ease. "Dean."

     "Wait here."

     "What?"

     "Just wait here a minute." He hesitated a moment before letting me go, and I couldn't help but wish he wouldn't. It was only a brief thought, but it was quickly replaced with the twisting in my gut telling me to stay away.

     "I just want to go, Dean."

     "And we will," he said as he walked towards the back of the Impala. He popped the trunk and rummaged around as he stared up at the circling hawks in the cloudless sky. I cringed. There were probably more than just dead rodents laying around these parts.

     "Dean?"

     "One sec. I just gotta find - there it is." The trunk slammed shut, and he made his way back over to me with his hand closed tightly around something. "Let me have it."

     "What?" I asked him, staring down at his calloused hand. I didn't know what he meant at first, but his hazel gaze fell the key between my fingers, but instead of handing it over, I clenched my fingers tightly around it. "No."

      "So, you won't give it to me, but you'll throw it away?" His brow raised at me in confusion.

      I thought his words over for a moment. I didn't want him to be right, but I had a feeling he was. So, in an attempt to rid myself of everything, I handed it over, hoping he would do me the honor of ridding me of it.

     "Just give it to the guy, and let's go."

      I turned on my heel to head back to the car, but out of the corner of my eye, I watched as a tarnished chain fell from his closed fist.

      "What are you doing?"

      His lips curled up into a satisfied smile, and he peeked up at me under his long lashes as he jimmied with the hook. I couldn't help but stare as he concentrated on trying to get it to close. His brows furrowed. His jaw tensed. The curve in his lips fell to a straight line, and I almost told him he was quite possibly the worst goldsmith I had ever seen, but then his eyes lit up once again, and he smiled.