Chapter 3
Hello, darkness my old friend.
I've come to talk to you again.
Huh?
Oh, shit you're here!
Ignore that last bit.
That was...nothing. Yeah, nothing.
Anyway.
How are you?
I'm good.
I'm just.
*Sigh*
So good.
Yeah.
...
I hate this second life already.
~~~
When I said I was this planet.
I was not kidding.
I am not some entity possessing this planet, nor am I some god watching over this planet.
My consciousness has fused with the atoms that make up this planet's entire structure.
Meaning each atom is its own mini-me with all my senses.
Do you even know how many fucking atoms are on this planet?
Because I do.
I counted them so I could ignore what was going on down there.
It was octillions on the long scale.
If you don't know what that means then here.
That's 48 zeroes.
16 stacks of 3s.
999,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
And each one is its own mini-me.
AND I HAVE TO SEE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!
I CAN'T EVEN TURN THEM OFF!
It doesn't even hurt my brain.
But just.
No one will fucking do nothing.
There's always something happening.
Maybe a child is getting sold.
Maybe a monster is ripping apart newbie adventures limb by limb.
Or some fat noble is preying on little elf kids.
He's dead now.
It's always some fucking conflict going on and it never stops.
Because I have to see all that shit, hear all that shit, Feel all that shit, smell all that shit.
I literally have to smell millions of pounds of shit.
*Sigh*
Great.
And now these Meatbags think their goddess is angry with them.
I'm a dude and I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.
And it only gets worse as with any standard fantasy world, with monsters and dungeons comes adventurers.
And with any arrogant, overconfident, and naive kids comes a constant influx of negative emotion when faced with the unexpected.
Yeah for some reason I can feel that too.
Anywho these adventures have their own system based on contribution and stats.
Same with the monsters as well.
Goes from F to SSS or something like that.
It's all super convenient for them, but I really just don't care.
And.
I don't know why but lots of 15-year-olds.
That's the legal age here.
Always want to go into dungeons.
Just get killed for it.
Great.
Here comes one now.
It's three of them.
One with a sword, one with a bow, and one carrying some luggage.
I smell betrayal.
The three are walking through a dimly lit narrow hallway with one exit.
They met some goblins.
The guy with the sword killed them easily.
Girl with the bow got a double kill.
Nice.
Guy with the bag? Cowering in the back.
Typical.
The guy with the sword is making fun of the baggage carrier for being so weak and such a pussy while the girl just glares at the baggage guy.
*Sigh*
I think we all know how this ends.
...
I was right
The baggage guy got stabbed in the back.
The girl turned out to be Baggage guys girlfriend...Well, former now.
Guy with the sword cucked him.
Because of course, that happened.
Bleeding out, surrounded by man-eating monsters, with his best friend's sword in his gut and his former girlfriend laughing at him for being so weak.
What a fucking cliche.
If he survives this then hell just swear revenge and ruin both of their lives, that or get a harem and rise through the adventure ranks and make them jealous while running their lives.
Either way, if he survives they are screwed.
Let's check his status just because.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Name: Arian
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Race: Human [Locked]
Lv: 9
HP: 114
MP: 0
STR: 11
DEF: 8
SPD: 11
M. DMG: 0
P. DMG: 10
-Affinities-
[None]
-Skills-
[Side slash] [Taunt] [Stab]
-Titles-
[Weak] [Worthless] [Weakest Adventuer] [Baggage carrier] [Coward]
-----------------------------------------------------------
Weak.
I mean if this was his status on earth he could outmatch the strongest man blindfolded with both hands behind his back.
Here though it's trash.
But of course, he has a Desu Ex Machina.
Because they always do.
Fate is a real bitch, isn't she.
The guy is one of them, shonen protagonist.
See that locked section?
Yeah, the dude literally has a fire dragon locked in his soul.
I can't even call him a naruto rip-off because these days everyone has some super powerful ancient entity trapped in their body.
Motherfuckers are just handing out inner demons like it's Halloween candy.
I get that writing is a difficult process but this trope is seriously played out.
It's boring.
Well, at least he isn't some hero.
The humans are too lazy to cultivate their own so they just ignore the laws of space and time to summon heroes with high potential from other galaxies and planets.
Idiots are just asking for black holes to eat them up.
Can I survive one? If and when they fuck up and create a black hole I wonder If I could just become it like I did the moonset.
Yeah. Parasitic Planet Expansion, or P.PE for short, now has 3 moons under control.
Soon enough I'm going to move on to the big ball of molten magma that is my neighboring planet.
I think that will be a fun vacation spot for my employees.
...When I get some.
...Hopefully.
Oh wait.
The kid is saying something.
Praying to god eh?
Heads up he's a total ass.
I kinda want to know what his last thoughts would be.
Arian: "P-please I don't want to die"
Well yeah, no one really does.
Arian: "I-I-I-I"
Cmon, you can do it.
Arian: "ILL **** HIS MOTHER!!!"
...
...
...
Shit.