Pimble wimble
After parting ways with the animated crew hiccup began discussing his new found friendship with Jon. Anna and Meredith blanched when they heard who hiccup spoke with. Meredith had tried to establish herself as the leader of the girls dorms, that did not go to plan.
You see she tried to tell Mordred what to do, Mordred used her to clean the windows by levitating her body against them and rubbing her against them. After that Mordred established the pecking order, the seniors teased Mordred when she went on a tyrannical rant that the top of the totem pole was Jon because he could wrap her around his finger.
This amazed the two girls, he could tame someone so domineering!! Hearing hiccup speak about someone they assumed to be worse than Mordred be a nice guy was baffling. Mordred sneezed walking out of the changing rooms from herbology "huh? Someone's talking about me!" And then growled before disappearing to hunt her annoyance.
Jon walked towards the Gryffindor table to get some grub before Lockeharts class, what he was greeted with was second years dressed in guile suits. He raised an eyebrow and asked one of the boys "Dean? Why do you look like that?"
The boy scowled and bit into his food angrily so Seamus answered him. "That bastard poltergeist Peeves!!!! He raided sprouts stuff and got a bucket of aloe Vera. When we walked out of class we all got slimes then bathed in the mandrake leaves!!!" The boy snarled causing some off the leaves to drip off him.
Jon broke out laughing and sat down "here I was thinking about making mandrake tea, though seeing the leaves attached to you guys makes me feel like I'll catch a disease if I try~".
The boys glared and conveyed "fuck you Jon!" Without saying it, the professors where in the room after all. While eating the golden trio arrived to eat just in time for the owl mail.
One particularly clumsy owl chose to kamikaze into Alicia Spinnet's soup soaking her. The owl called earil then hopped out and fluttered over to Ron and then took off like its ass was on fire. Alicia glared at Ron for his owls transgression cashing him to mimic a turtle and tuck his head in.
Seamus lost his anger over the peeves prank once he saw what Ron was gifted. "Look everyone! Weaselys got a howler!" Oh shit Jon thought before rushing to transfigure some ear plugs before the letter was opened by an ignorant Ron.
"RONALD WEASELY! /):£);" was all Jon made out before the screaming was masked by the ear buds. He sighed in relief whilst the others held their ears. Based on the way Ron paled it looked like he was in deep shit. Jon looked at the howler and watched it shapeshift again and changed into a more mas half shaped mouth, Arthur Weasley began ranting about how his car was "ruined!"
The modifications that Jon had made were not appreciated, Arthur wanted to blend in with common muggles but Jons choice of ride was anything but common. So now Ron is getting the roasting of his life.
When the palate turned to Ginny Jon knew he was safe, everyone else now had tinnitus. Jon tapped Dean "I'll see you in class" was all he said only for his reply to be "What?"
The DADA classroom has changed much from last year. The smell of garlic has disappeared and now the room is littered with pictures of Lockeheart. The man himself is hiding in his office waiting to make his dramatic entrance! How did Jon know? It's cause lockeheart keeps peeking from the door to see who has entered.
Jon rolled his eyes before sliding over to make room for Mordred who just entered. Jon eyes her and then smiled "dodged peeves did you?" He jokingly asked only to be met with a scoff.
"Of course I did, my instincts could spot a prank from a mile away!" She said proudly before puffing her budding chest.
Jon just chuckled and made small talk with her before the rest of the class arrived. After all the students were seated the professors doors opened and Lockeheart strolled down like a peacock listing his accolades and titles.
"The fuck is a dark force?" Asked Mordred into Jon's ear. "Probably some fruity little club" Jon replied to which Mordred nodded.
"He uses more beauty products than most of the maidens in Camelot. Clearly compensating for a lack of something."
"Skill? Talents? Assets? Status?" Jon rattled off things that their professor may have indeed lacked. Gilderoy felt insulted mid way through his speech but chose to maintain his award winning smile and bask in the swooning of the girls. Underage girls but still girls in his opinion.
As the charade continued Jon looked up at the dragon skeleton hanging above his head. Pathetic he thought as he compared it to the ones in the basement of kings landing. However it was theorised in a few fan theories that the dragon skeleton was the source of the DADA teachers curse as it had been there since Tom Riddle had attended hogwarts in the 1940's.
After killing the baseilisk he'll try and pour some off its venom on the skeleton and see what happens. If it can kill a horcrux it can probably break the jinx. Jon was snapped from his thoughts as he heard "Cornish Pixies?!?"
"Very hungry Cornish pixies, quite the little devils they are, let's see what you make of them!" Announced Lockeheart before releasing the blue monsters that began to wreak havoc. Mordred grinned and embraced the chaos, she rushed towards the other end of the classroom and pulled out a bottle from her small bag.
Giving the bottle a shake she then tossed it at Lockeheart followed by a spell " Viscosi Pollen!" The charm that Mordred cast was a skin stick charm, the thing she tossed was a girls fake tan that she began applying since the start of the year. Mordred and Jon could smell the foul oil off it.
Lockeheart squealed as his complexion was ruined, he looked like he'd just spent six years in South Africa. Jon however was getting irritated with the man, he was funny in the movies but in real life he's just pathetic and aggravating with his behaviour.
Jon noticed out of the corner of his eye he spotted Draco Malfoy squealing and attempting to run like a ferret that had its tail stepped on. He recalled a charm that Draco bragged about the other day at the start of term that was supposedly "incredibly difficult to master".
The spell was mimblewimble or in English the tongue tying curse. The spell causes the organ to stretch and twist into multiple shapes preventing speech, it can be used to stop an enemies incantations or it can be used to better pleasure a lover with the right casting of it.
Following that train of thought Jon adopted a savage smirk as he drew his wand and aimed at the professor. "Pimblewimble" muttered Jon causing a small purple beam to fly at Lockehearts crotch. The man himself was almost at the door of his office as he ran from the pixies.
The monsters avoided Jon and Mordred due to sensing danger from them. The jinx that Jon just used was a modified version of the tongue tying curse. Instead this one ties and stretches someone's lower appendage with the infected person feeling everything that happens.
When the beam made contact he heard a small crunch followed by the pain of someone attempting to crush his nuts. His junk was spun into a spiral well beyond what it should before being stretched and tied into an overhand knot.
Gilderoys mouth hung open and he released a high pitched howl resembling a soprano in a church hym. Hermione at that moment snapped from having her hair pulled and used "Immobulis!" Freezing all the pixies, Mordred followed with "Protero!" Which was the banishing charm. All the pixies were fired at Lockeheart who was standing motionless in the door way of his office trying to process his trauma.
Jon finished the job with "Colloportus!" Which slammed the office door shut and locked it. Lockehearts screams where heard from inside as the pixies turned their full attention towards him.
The quietness was deafening in the classroom, Neville wasn't actually hung on the chandelier this time. The golden trio and our main characters heard a rope snap so they looked up and saw the dragon skeleton plummet to the ground.
"Maybe it isn't the source of the curse" muttered Jon as he saw the bone mess before him. He shrugged before grabbing his stuff and leaving to do his homework.