Chapter 84 - Live With It

5:08 AM.

Six minutes. Just six minutes had passed since the moment he first spotted Morte to when the red player exploded in shards under his spear. Drifter stared at the flickering polygons until they vanished. Then he put his spear on his back. And sighed.

So that was it. He had done it. And there wasn't even a notification, not a single message acknowledging he had just killed another player. Another human. As if Morte was less than a mob to the Cardinal System. Drifter looked up, and his cursor was still green. It felt wrong.

He heard the soft footsteps of Akari behind him. The guild leader of Fuumaningum walked out from behind the tree she was hiding, and he looked at her. Her face was still concealed by the mask, but he could see the swirling emotions and conflicting thoughts in her eyes. Drifter could understand that. They had both come here with the determination to kill Morte, but it didn't feel real until he actually did it. Now he could feel the weight. The burden.

It was lighter than he expected.

"Hm... We should go back."

That was the first thing Akari said. Drifter nodded, and turned around. Silently, they started running back to the city. To the people they wouldn't tell what had transpired tonight.

The silence was painful. For both of them, but for different reasons. Akari, for all she had scolded him earlier, was the first to break it.

"You did it. How are you feeling?"

Drifter slowed down, mulling over the question. What a stupid one it was. But, what else was she supposed to ask? He chuckled quietly, but there was no mirth in his laughter.

"Truly?"

"Yes."

"Hah... Not much at all. I'm disgusted with Morte. And it feels like I should be disgusted with myself. But I'm not. I think... I had already resolved myself to do it. All that was left was to go through with the act."

Akari said nothing. She knew it wasn't that simple - one look at the spearman's face told her that. But rather than feel like Drifter was trying to make light of Morte's death, she felt that he simply didn't know how to put his feelings into words.

"If anything... I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Yes. Of how easy it was."

And that was the truth, wasn't it? Killing Morte had been exceedingly easy. At the time, Drifter had been worried Morte's weakness was a trick, but after the red player died, it became clear that Morte was simply weak. He must have been at least 10 levels lower than Drifter. A consequence of spending all his time thinking of ways to kill other players.

But just because it was easy, it didn't mean Drifter enjoyed it. No, he hated having to kill Morte with all his being. He would have nightmares today - if he could even sleep - and for the rest of his life. But when he weighed Morte's life and the death of his morality against the lives of countless SAO players, and, more importantly, of his family... Drifter had made the right decision. That, he would never doubt, nor regret.

5:37 AM.

Akari and Drifter didn't exchange another word during their journey back. It was only after they reached the safe zone and crossed the city gates that they stopped and looked at each other again. He hesitated for a moment. Should he say something? Honestly, he didn't feel like it. But being on good terms with Akari would be beneficial to Reaver's Requiem.

[ Player Akari has sent you a friend request. Accept? ]

Akari broke the impasse by sending a friend request herself. Drifter raised an eyebrow - that was very not in character for the edgy role-player - but was too tired to question it.

"If you ever find yourself in need of our shadows' services again, brave warrior, please contact me."

The spearman snorted and nodded, accepting the friend request. The ninja gave him one last long look.

"For what it is worth, Drifter, I believe you did the right thing."

He stared at the retreating player. He could barely see her now, she was almost mending with the alley shadows. Drifter turned around.

"Bye, Akari."

"Fare thee well, spearman Drifter."

-----------------------

1st General Military Hospital, Tokyo.

A tired nurse yawned and looked at the clock on the wall. His shift was almost over.

Suddenly, a loud beeping noise startled him awake. Jumping up, he looked at the computer, saw where the alarm was coming from, and rushed towards the room. The doctor on-call was already on her way.

By the time they got to the room, it was already too late. Not like they could do anything even if they arrived there on time. The doctor sighed heavily and pulled off the NerveGear from the deceased patient's head. Another one to the growing list of SAO's victims.

------------------------

Town of Beginnings, Monument of Life. February 14th, 2023.

"Shit. Fuck."

Standing in front of the black stone stele, Argo cursed loudly. Two nearby players, who were also searching the Monument of Life for a name, gave her a sympathetic gaze. They thought she had just found out that a friend of hers was dead.

Turning around, Argo left the monument running. She went straight to the main plaza of the Town of Beginnings, where the teleporter was located, right beneath the obelisk.

It was crowded. At least several thousand players were gathered there, watching the ongoing boss raid. It had become a sort of tradition, and smart players took advantage of it to set stalls and sell their unwanted items. By now, the whole thing looked more like an open fair.

"Hey!"

"Watch it!"

Argo made her way through the crows by elbowing people out of the way and snarling at anyone who complained. That got them to back off. She soon reached the front of the line for the teleporter, all the while watching the raid-party's progress on her HUD with the corner of her eyes.

When the [ Congratulations ] message appeared on the live stream, Argo started tapping her foot impatiently. Her gaze was focused on a certain spearman twirling his spear before storing it away. Drifter was shaking hands with Klein and Orlando, and patting Agil on the back. He even went up to Shivata to congratulate the DKB vice-leader on getting the last attack bonus. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary with him.

But Argo knew better. He might be acting normal now, but four days ago, the morning after they met Morte in the wilderness, she had seen the haunted look on his face. At that time, she had just attributed it to a long night awake - gods knew she had trouble falling asleep.

But Argo had gone to the Monument of Life today with a seedling of doubt in her heart, which was by now fully grown. The suspicion had been born of many little things she had discovered during the last few days. The way Drifter avoided everyone's eyes. How he either kept silent or changed the subject whenever someone brought up Morte. The leader of Fuumaningum saying she shouldn't worry about the red player's whereabouts. The report from an orange player she found who said they hadn't seen Morte in the fallen elf base for days.

Little things. But they added up. Argo would never have suspected Drifter if not for one thing. Two days ago, while she was telling the Reavers about where she thought Morte might be, Drifter had been the only one not to show surprise when she mentioned the fallen elf camp where criminals went to hide. The lack of that emotion was what tipped her off, and made her connect the dots of his erratic behavior lately.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon..."

The hour that took for the Assault Team to unlock the 9th floor teleporter felt like one year to Argo. No sooner than the portal lit up, she was already stepping through.

"Teleport: Allenz!"

The info-broker burst out of the teleporter on the quaint little village running. Her head swiveled left and right, and she spotted the Reavers to the side, talking to a few other players.

"Congrats, Kii-bou, Aa-chan. Ya too, Klein-nii. Dri-bou, I need to talk to ya."

Immediately marching over, Argo plastered a fake smile onto her face and grabbed Drifter's wrist. She didn't see the consternation in Reavers' expressions as she dragged him away. She also didn't answer the spearman's questions, and he eventually gave up and allowed her to pull him along.

They didn't go far. The info-broker entered the first inn she saw, threw some cor to the innkeeper, and rented a room. It was the nearest place where she could interrogate Drifter without any prying ears nearby.

Argo pushed Drifter onto the bed, then dragged a chair over and sat down in front of him. Ever since seeing Argo's completely serious expression, so out of the norm for her, and seeing how far she was going to make sure they weren't overheard, the spearman seemed to have discovered something. He didn't ask her what this was about again. She looked at him, and he stared back.

He knew exactly what she thought she knew, Argo realized. But he was waiting for her to ask.

"I went to the Monument of Life today."

That was all Argo said, and she saw a brief flash of panic cross Drifter's eyes. The spearman looked down to his lap and sighed. Then his head rose back up.

"I killed Morte."

Argo was already certain of that, but she still shivered when Drifter admitted it so readily. The spearman kept his voice carefully emotionless as he spoke.

"I never intended to lie, Argo. Hide it for as long as I could, yes. But not lie. Although you found out a lot faster than I expected."

Hearing his calm tone, Argo clenched her fists. She knew him too well to believe he was actually that cold.

"W-Why..?"

Drifter frowned.

"Why? Morte was a monster, Argo. He had to be..."

"Not that! Not even why you hid it. But why... Why did you go alone? Why didn't you tell Yuna or Nautilus or Kirito? Why didn't you tell... Me?"

That was what hurt her so unbearably so. Drifter had gone after Morte alone. He had taken up that burden without even considering how she and everyone else would feel when they found out. Or maybe he considered too much. Worse of all, Drifter had gone after Morte... And he hadn't trusted Argo enough to tell her.

"If I told you, little rat, would you have let me go alone?"

"Of course not! But ya didn't need to go alone from the start! Morte was after all of us! We could - no, we should have helped!"

The info-broker raised her voice, and Drifter flinched.

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you or the others, little rat. Because you would have helped. Helped me to kill a person."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Drifter! Morte was a threat to all of us, to all of SAO! So why..."

"Because you are just a kid, Argo! You are fourteen, for fuck sake!"

Drifter snapped, and immediately felt bad, because Argo visibly recoiled from his outburst. He wasn't doing a very good job of pitting his words into action. He sat back down on the bed, feeling the weight of his words.

"I know... Argo, I know SAO changed everyone. You, Yuna, Nautilus, Kirito... Everyone. After everything that happened, it would be unfair to treat any of you like kids. And I don't. You know that. The only one I still treat like a child is Silica. And that is because I'm stubborn. She is ready for the Assault Team, be it in skill or mentality. She is twelve, Argo. But she is ready. And I damn Kayaba to the deepest pits of hell, because we need her."

Drifter leaned his body forward, and grabbed one of Argo's hands with his. She was shaking.

"I've stopped treating any of you like kids after the first week. You, little rat, I always treated like an equal, from the moment we met. I'm not trying to push any of you away. I'm not trying to take on more because I'm older. But I want to protect you. Protect my family. And that includes protecting you from yourselves."

The info-broker finally looked up from her lap and locked gazes with him. She wasn't crying. She wasn't angry. She just looked... Defeated. Drifter soldiered on.

"I'm being selfish. But I'm allowed to. You are my little sister, remember?"

Argo looked at him. And sniffled.

"Yeah."

"So shut up and trust your big brother."

Drifter smiled fondly, and put his hand on Argo's head. He ruffled her hair, and she sniffed louder.

"Jackass. That's so cringe."

He laughed.

...

"Oh? You are finally back! What was so urgent you had to steal Drifter from us, Argo?"

It was twenty minutes later that Drifter and Argo left the room and walked downstairs to find the Reavers waiting for them.

A lot more had been said between the two during that time. Mainly Argo cursing the hell out of him for being an idiot, a stupid wannabe hero, a selfish prick, and many other unflattering denominations. But her fake accent was back, so Drifter felt lighter.

"That's a secret between Dri-bou and me, Liz-chan. Don't go pryin' now, or I'm gonna raise my prices, got it? Especially ya, Yu-chan. We all know that this guy over there can't say no to ya, so don't turn your puppy eyes to him. He might faint."

He guessed he deserved that. Nevertheless, Drifter tried to grab the cheeky info-broker in a head-lock, but she slipped under his arms and hid behind Yuuki, who was only too happy to be used as a battle puppet by Argo.

"Hass... What am I gonna do with you?"

"Suffer us! Ya are stuck with us forever, Dri-bou. Tough it out."

Argo winked, and Drifter supposed he also deserved that one. She had agreed to keep his solo crusade against Morte - and the result, especially - a secret until he was ready to tell his guild. Which, if Drifter could have it his way, would be never, although she didn't know that. Let Morte fade into obscurity. That was for the better.

"Right! Let's get to work! What's on the list, guild leader?"