Chapter 6 People think I'm ugly

Now, lately this month, Shania didn't always hang with friends. In the middle of the month, she hung by herself. She went to class. Got mostly A's.

She was going to disappoint those teachers that thought of her as a pushover.

She had a bright and optimistic personality, so many people were drawn to her in school.

Nick stared at her one day. Shania thought he saw what her father had always seen - thin, ugly looking teen.

But Nick saw something else.

He said she was cute. He said he liked her eyes.

"A person can be very good looking and still feel ugly. Or a person can be less-attractive and think he or she is the best looking person around. It's all about attitude,"he had said, as if reading her thoughts.

But to Shania, no matter how pretty or handsome you're, you'll always come across others who are better looking.

It made her write about a girl who says she's scared people will always think she's ugly. But she's talking about herself. She's scared people will always think she's ugly.

A person like her would never be good enough; no matter how hard she tried.

****

Shania walked into the class standing tall.

Despite the bickering, she would still give off an elegant vibe.

"Jane, did you reserve a seat for me?"

"Yes I did."

Crinkles formed at the ridge of her nose.

"Whose bag is it?"

Mary walked in with a half smile on her face.

"The bag is mine."

Shania clenched her fists.

She took a deep breath through her nose and let it out in a shaky exhale.

"Please take it away. I need to sit."

Mary lifted her chin. She got up close to Shania's face and sneered. She prowled away.

Shania huffed at Mary but she didn't budge.

The entire class roared. They wanted them exchanging fistful blows.

Mr Jack walked in. His manly voice rose hysterically as he tried to calm the entire class.

"Aren't you supposed to be studying?"

They didn't answer.

Shania remained motionless.

He slammed his fist on the table.

"Head prefect!"

Nick swallowed a lump in his throat as he stood up.

"What is happening?Why is a teacher absent in this class?"

He closed his mouth tightly.

"Shania Jimmy, state Newton's first law of motion."

She stared.

She rubbed the scruff of her neck.

She detested this topic in physics.

It was her worst.

She would rather answer questions on projectiles than this.

Mary giggled at her inability to answer the question.

Mr Jack had run out of patience already.

"Speak, will you?"

Shania wiped the sweat on her forehead.

Mr Jack noticed Nick raise his hand.

"No Nick, let her answer the question. It's a simple one."

She stuttered; her hands limped beside her body.

"Newton's first law of motion states that a body remains at rest or in motion with a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external force."

The entire class roared.

Mr Jack extolled her in enthusiasm.

"What were you scared of? You had the answer all this while.

****

The clock stroke 12:00pm.

The boys in class trooped to the basketball court.

The girls would head to the court as well to cheer them.

"James,"Nick called.

"Please, tell coach Jack that I'll be late for the basketball practice. I've an important meeting with principal Peters,"he divulged.

He bumped into Shania.

She spoke first.

"Hi, Nick."

"Hi, Shania."

She bumbled.

"Thank you for the other day.... for standing up for me in front of Mary."

A heart warming smile spread across his face.

"You're most welcome."

"There will a basketball audition after the practice at the stadium. Will you come?"

The thin line of Shania's brow arched as she flinched.

"I know you're not a sports fan."

"Why don't you give it a try? It's not a bad idea,"he suggested.

Silence lingered for a while. She swallowed constantly.

"I'm not sure I'll come because I have so much work to do."

Mary walked in. She shoved Shania who shrieked in pain.

"Hey Nick."

"Shania, can I have a word with you?"

Shania held her breath unconsciously.

Mary pulled her to a corner.

She snickered and gave a malicious laugh while patting Shania's back sympathetically.

"You must be happy, I guess."

Shania rolled her eyes.

A smirk appeared on Jane's face.

"I'll say you were lucky in class. Mr Jack saved you earlier. Do not get the wrong idea."

"Nick's only being nice and warm."

"If you'll listen to me, do not take his attitude to heart. It won't be long before the murk clears from his eyes."

"I'll always be one step ahead."

Mary stood chuckling as Shania stomped out in fury.

Nick glared.

"Mary, what do you want now?"

She jeered.

"What now? Are you angry because I interrupted the beautiful conversation you were having with her?"

His mouth thinned with displeasure.

"Mary, you should stop this."

"I know you can be a jerk sometimes but this is beneath you."

Mary's icy stare bored into him.

"Watch out Nick. Do not start what you can't finish."

He trudged towards the field.

***

Nick and Shania walked through the neighborhood. The glint of light on the broken glass seemed visible.

They attended the audition together.... holding hands, laughing and finishing each other's sentences.

Shania's nose burned in the frigid air.

She huddled under the covers of Nick's embrace and held her breath as the breeze brushed past her pink gown.

"You've a good sense of humor,"she extolled.

"I'm surprised."

Nick blushed.

"Surprised?At what?"

"I'm surprised that you engage in extracurricular activities like sports,"she blurted out.

He gushed.

"Why are you surprised?"

Shania chortled.

"You're the head perfect. You're smart too. So much is expected from whom so much is given. You look too serious.That's the reason I said I was surprised."

They both exploded in a giddy laugh.

It came unexpected.

She couldn't remember the last time she laughed wholeheartedly.

And for a moment, everything seemed perfect for her.

"So, what are your hobbies?"Nick asked.

"Oh. Hobbies? Everyone has a hobby. I'm not sure I'm ready to share it. It seems personal,"she cracked up, feeling disoriented.

"Why?Is it so bad?"

"I can't say."

"Jane told me you write. It's a good idea,"he stated.

Shania showed a faint smile.

"Are you upset?"he teased her.

She shook her head.

He took a deep breath and let it out.

"I know what's on your mind. You think the things you write isn't good enough. I've read your articles and I'll say it's fantastic."

"Haha.. you're saying this because you don't want me to feel bad,"she crowed.

"Maybe that's the reason but it's the truth.... have you found out about your temperament?"

"Uhh..no,"she said.

"Meet counselor Lydia... talk to her about it... I'm sure she'll have something for you."

"Is it so important?"

"Don't be ignorant. Temperaments play a great role in our career choices,"he stated.

"Uhh... now you sound like her."

He stared in bewilderment.

"Who? Counselor Lydia?"

"Yes. I'm sure she rubbed off her charisma on you."

He laughed.

"Counselor Lydia has the most beautiful heart."

"I'll tell you a little secret... I'm in love with her,"Shania announced without an ounce of shame.

An awkward silence lingered.

She closed her eyes; numerous thoughts bouncing in her mind.

Nick's voice jolted her back to reality.

"Your mom must be grateful."

"Grateful for what?"Shania asked, bemused.

"She must be grateful to have a perfect daughter like you."

"I'll walk you to the bus station."

He took her hand in his and pulled her along.

She stiffened and slowly shifted her gaze far away.

Everyone expected so much from her - to be the perfect daughter.

She could be anything, but not perfect. Perfection seemed far away from her.

******

"Why are you coming home by this time?"

"Mom, you're still awake?"she stuttered.

Mrs Jimmy's voice rose hysterically.

"That's not the answer to my question."

Shania clenched her fists.

Her nails dug into her palm.

"Mom, I attended an audition and.."

"Please aunt, pardon her. I'm sure she was up to some good,"someone said from behind, cutting Shania shut.

Shania turned swiftly to meet twenty seven year old Samantha, popularly called Sam, her favorite cousin.

Sam, her mother's niece, was the only soul asides James that reached out to her every time she was down.

Sam was her entire world.

She slammed her eyes shut.

She giggled uncontrollably as she ran in for their usual hug that carried on far too long as they gushed about their lives with smiles lighting their faces.

"I've missed you Sam,"her words becoming breathy from laughter.

Sam gave a deep sigh of contentment.

"I've missed you too, lollipop."

"When did you come back from London?Why didn't you tell me you were going to return today?Why didn't mom tell me as well?Why did you have to hide it from me?"she questioned and jutted her chin.

Sam's voice possessed a sing-song quality.

"Too many questions, lollipop. Which one should I answer first?"

"Look at you."

She turned Shania around.

"You look different from the photos."

She pulled her cheeks affectionately.

"Pretty. You've put on weight... it's good."

Mrs Jimmy felt her heart flutter.

Seeing these two warmed her heart.

Shania's phone rang.

"Sam, I'll be back. I need to take this call."

****

Sam barged into Shania's room.

Her voice jolted Shania back to reality.

"Who was that on the phone?"

"It's Jane. My classmate."

Sam rubbed her temple.

"Aw... I forgot to ask... how are you coping with the new school?"

"I'm doing fine at least."

"And your grades?"

"It's fine too."

Sam chuckled.

"Well, lollipop, guess what?"

Shania grinned.

She gaped in wonder as she leaned on.

"Well, Sam, I'm not so good at guessing and you know it. Tell me, will you?"

Satisfaction welled up in Sam's chest.

She smiled broadly.

"I'm not supposed to let it slip easily. You're supposed to guess."

Silence lingered. Shania's eyes darted around for answers.

"Your favorite cousin will get married in one month."

She spun and high five her cousin.

"I'm so happy for you,"she cheered.

A pained whimper escaped her lips.

"The SSCE exams will also come up in one month too. How will I attend your wedding?"

Sam pouted. She crossed her arms and sighed audibly.

"If you can't attend my wedding because of the exams, it's fine."

She smiled.

"Make the best grades and I'll prepare for you to come over to London."

Shania gurgled.

She kissed Sam's forehead.

"Thanks so much Sam. I couldn't have wished for more."