Chapter 2 The Jimmy Family

The Jimmy family had long been known as a prestigious, refined family of Lawyers.

This was their identity, the legacy that every member of this family was expected to carry on.

From the onset, they were known for being victorious in every case they took upon themselves.

Shania's birth into this family wasn't celebrated with happiness.

"What child is it?"her father asked the doctor, grinning uncontrollably. He brimmed with anticipation.

Doctor Louis looked at him with a tender expression. Her smile was so huge that it deepened her wrinkles.

"Congratulations, it's a girl child!"

The hint of excitement on Mr Jack Jimmy's face faded. A deep frown etched on his young face.

"Just another girl?"he muttered under his breath.

This was somehow unfair - the fact that this child was a girl; and not a boy as expected.

This child was a disappointment for being a girl; another girl after two girl children that had been lost during birth.

Doctor Louis ignored his contemptuous glare.

She gave off a modest and elegant vibe.

"Mr Jimmy, you can go to see your wife and child now."

His pupils shook violently for a moment when he saw his wife and child before it returned to the previous tranquility.

This tiny child seemed innocent but it was already too late to fix anything.

Bitterness came from the edge of his throat and hatred from the depth of his heart as he stared with an inexplicable expression.

****

As if that wasn't enough, another girl child was born a year after.

But this time, his expression towards Cecil's birth was different. He stared at this healthier child with a fresh feeling; he swore he'd treasure her forever as he smiled meaningfully.

****

Shania and Cecil grew up together with so much love for each other.

Cecil still respected her sister despite looking older and stronger.

Shania couldn't help but feel the difference in treatment and affection given to both of them; especially by their father.

In her entire life, she has never become anyone's first priority; not in the heart of her family.

From the onset, their father made it clear that she was unwanted.

She felt her own existence was denied.

Her life had always revolved around her sister's, making her question herself.

Who was she? Does she even exist?

They didn't even know her!

They didn't know the things she liked; they always bought things for her based on her sister's preferences.

They would force her to take strawberry flavored ice cream because it was her sister's favorite; she liked butterscotch flavor.

Even when clothes were to be purchased, they would ask Cecil first!

Everything was Cecil's choice.

She was suffering from an identity crisis.

Her heart would always beat loudly in her ribs whenever her father snapped at her or slammed the table impatiently or even whipped her for little mistakes.

"You should be like your sister; without a flaw," he would say.

She would stay there crying; clinging to her father's sleeve, begging for affection that she wasn't sure would become hers.

And her mother would do nothing. She won't dissuade him.

The only thing she could do was to repeat the same apology many times; over time, the value of that apology decreased and it turned into a habit instead.

She felt strange at her obsessed admiration for her father despite the fact that he rejected her.

If being top of the class was the problem her father had with her, then he was wrong.

She was brilliant too, like her younger sister.

Her grades were remarkable and incredible; just like her sister's.

Just where did everything go wrong?

Or wasn't her sister yet another girl like her?

If Shania had forgotten her place too soon, no one knew.

After they clocked 15 and 14 respectively, their father began to drum it into their ears how important it was to continue the family's legacy.

"I want you girls to become supreme Court judges like your father. It has always been this way in the family, starting from your great grandfather."

Shania always looked on with an indefinable expression. She felt trapped in this mess.

"Especially you, my dear Cecil. You'll be great like your father," he'd say energetically.

Cecil always nodded obediently.

Their mother would reprimand him with no anger in her tone; mostly for Shania's sake.

"Don't you think they should be left to choose their careers? It's not a good idea forcing law down their throats."

"I'm only trying to direct them to a noble career path. I won't have my daughters, especially Cecil study anything other than law,"he always replied hoarsely.

Their mother would remain quiet after looking into Shania's eyes; those eyes were like the endless night that hid a lot of mysteries.

It was no fun watching her daughter slowly sink into despair and her husband cared less.

The idea of Shania being abandoned almost suffocated her to death.

***

On this fateful day, Shania woke up at the sound of birds chirping.

She twirled in front of the mirror wearing her school uniform; a brown short skirt and a green stripped shirt.

She tucked her hair behind her ears while putting on her best smile.

She would never give the world a chance to see her tears again.

"Sister, come down stairs for breakfast,"Cecil howled with glee from the sitting room.

Her mom gave her a double thumbs up for addressing her elder sister respectfully.

She had warned Cecil not to disrespect her sister because of her frail body.

"You should always show her some respect,"she had said, raising her thick eyebrows.

****

Shania smeared her bread with peanut butter and chewed on.

The entire place was silent. The only noise that could be heard was the clinking sound of spoons on plates.

Their father came down stairs to eat at the dining table.

"Good morning, father,"Shania greeted.

"Good morning, dad,"Cecil piped in.

His gaze softened.

"Beautiful morning, Cecil. How was your night?"

Shania kept her gaze downwards. She was crushed by her rejection.

Cecil laughed with glee.

"It was splendid. How did you like the coffee I made for you last night?"

Their father hummed delightfully.

"It was perfect for the chilly night."

Shania was drowned in her thoughts that she didn't notice their father ask a question for the first time.

"So, how do you like the career I chose for you?"he repeated himself.

Shania's breath hitched; she was speechless with countless thoughts bouncing in her mind.

Cecil nodded approvingly with a satisfied expression.

"I knew you'd like it,"he said to Cecil.

"What about you, Shania?"he asked.

She coughed to regain composure.

A sense of apprehension grew inside her.

What was she even going to say - that she didn't like it; she had other plans?

That alone meant she had a death wish and was asking for a severe beating before she'd leave for school.

"I'm talking to you young lady."

He stared as if awaiting an explanation.

Shania choked on her breath.

"Well, father, what I'd like to say is that I have other plans."

His icy stare bored into her.

Crunching hit Shania's ears, crashing through the incessant thudding in her heart.

Sweat broke out on her forehead.

'This was her only chance to tell her father,' she thought, blinking back the fear that had become visible in her eyes.

"Father, I don't want to become a Lawyer. I want to study science."

Her father's gaze deepened.

Her provocation made his ears burn.

Her hands limped beside her body.

"And I want to learn more about..."

She hadn't finished then...

Thud!!

Her father landed her a deft slap on her right cheek that sent her scrunching on the floor.

Her cheek blazed. It was scalding hot; the very opposite of the coldness she felt in her heart.

She grimaced in pain as tears flowed in torrents.

"Is this rebellion? You want to do science and disgrace the family that has been known as one of Lawyers. You bad egg!"he yelled, clenching his fist.

Shania's face turned pale; she shrieked in pain.

"There's nothing praiseworthy in you and that's the reason I'll never see you in a different light."

Shania shuddered. Those words hit her hard.

Her father's words were like a hundred knives stabbing her.

Her mother stared wide-eyed.

They were family, biologically speaking; but sometimes it didn't feel like that.

What kind of a father would hit his daughter because she said she had other interests?

Now she knew better; he'd always despised her.

"Look at what you gave birth to. She challenged my ability to choose a career for my daughters. What a disappointment! A failure!"he yelled at their mother.

"She now has the nerve to disobey in my house. I'll clip those wings she thinks she has grown!"

"I'll instill that fear in you, useless child!"

Their mother just stared.

Oh, now Shania was her own daughter; because she decided to speak up for herself!

She didn't have the willpower to defend her. It was an understandable reaction.

Or was it fear?

She had turned to become afraid of their father as well.

Cecil couldn't tell if she felt relieved or disappointed.

For her, breakfast had been ruined.

In the literal sense, Shania's eyelids were heavy, and she couldn't tell which was up and down; left or right.

Maybe it was the truth; the truth always hurt the most; she wasn't worthy of support and consolation.

She'd always been the different one in her noble family - she'd always been the disappointment.

She stood up and trudged to the door.

What was she even thinking when she said that - her father would calmly ask her why she didn't want to become a lawyer?

That wouldn't happen even in her dreams.

***

Cecil prepared a few sentences to convince her; but it seemed that was unnecessary.

"I'm sorry, sister. It was my fault that dad hit you so hard. If I hadn't agreed to his decision earlier then you could have been happy."

Shania remained silent. Her mind drifted off.

She had plenty questions to ask her sister.

Why was their father being partial in the affection given to both of them?

Why does he love her sister more?

But most of all, why'd he compare her to Cecil?

This was what hurt her most.

Each of them was unique; she needed him to understand that.

Her interests were different; he was supposed to understand that too.

Cecil kept pleading; sobbing uncontrollably.

Shania gave a soft laughter as her sister pouted.

She embraced Cecil tightly.

No matter what happens, it'd never be Cecil's fault.

Cecil was her sister and no matter the kind of monster her father's words turned her into,

she'd always love Cecil more than she loved herself.

She was just one sad girl in a dark part of the world; trying to find her way again.

That was what her family consisted of; the self-absorbed and manipulative father, the most thoughtful yet afraid mother, the most protective and perfect younger sister and herself; the disappointment.