Her

The darkness was so thick that I could barely see, and the cold air was like a frigid breeze from an arctic circle. Just as the thought crossed my mind that I had died, I heard a gentle woman's voice ringing in my ear.

"Whenever you see the moonlight, always remember me."

Remember who? I'm unable to remember the details of my past. Because they had removed so many of my memories during my conversion, I felt like I was in a fog.

The conversion preserved some memories, but it was unclear if it would preserve all of them.

Who uttered this word? Is it someone I used to be familiar with? Or is it hers? Onigashi, who stabbed me with her katana yesterday? My mind whirled in a tornado of thoughts as I relentlessly mulled over recent events.

It was so unfortunate when Onigashi took the lives of my friends, Luke and Clarissa, on our last mission. Yet, I hope they can provide my friends with new bodies and frames.

I yearned to uncover Onigashi's secrets and learn more about her. I wanted to confirm if she was someone I knew, not with the intention of seeking vengeance for my friend's death.

***

My body felt rigid, as if invisible hands had tightly gripped me, making me immobile. I tried to wake myself up, but my eyelids felt glued shut, and my body felt heavy, like an enormous boulder weighing on my chest.

The sound of my name echoed through the air, its repetition creating a haunting presence.

"Tsuyuki… Tsuyuki…"

My eyelids felt leaden and impossible to open when I tried. Yet the sound of their voices keeps reverberating in the air.

"Tsuyuki… Tsuyuki…"

I could feel the heat rising as I heard the echoes in my ears. Regrettably, my mouth and eyes remained sealed shut, preventing me from speaking.

"Tsuyuki!"

As the sound of the voice grew louder, my eyes lightened, and I grabbed the chance to open it up.

I slowly opened my eyes to the sterile hospital environment, feeling the pinch of the infusion tube in my left hand and the hum of the heart rate monitor on my right side. I had to wait for my vision to adjust before I could make out the details of my surroundings.

Two people were sitting beside the left-side mattress, the creak of the chairs accompanying their conversation. When I peered closely, I recognized Vanessa and Vladimir, my operators, who were always providing me with objectives for each mission I had taken part in.

On the verge of tears, Vanessa squeezed my left hand and gave me a thankful smile.

"Tsuyukkin! I'm glad you're alive!"

Vladimir spoke to me with a warm smile and a subtle appreciation.

"It's a miracle that you survived her stabbing, despite the odds that you should be dead."

With a faint nod in my head, I then stutteringly replied.

"Y-yeah… I… never die… right?"

Tears of gratitude glimmered in Vanessa's eyes as she begged while keeping my hand.

"For the love of God, don't even think about fighting her if you meet her again, okay?"

"It perturbed us about your condition after the stab. Luckily, the goddess of miracles gave you an infinite life for a second chance. In fact, you've often neglected safety on every mission for five years."

It frustrated me to hear Vladimir provide me with the same advice as my commander, exacerbating the situation. And then I queried again.

"What happened to Luke and Clarissa? Can they reincarnate with new bodies and frames?"

Tension gripped the room as Vanessa and Vladimir exchanged nervous glances, their dread palpable as they avoided addressing my inquiry. Vanessa's gaze darted across to the other side as her response tumbled from her lips.

"I don't know how to say this, Yukkin."

Vladimir then explained with a hint of sadness in his tone.

"Onigashi's Katana shattered their virus filter and the consciousness system. The immense scorching virus cells she carried caused immediate and severe damage to their bodies."

Did you know that Authonoids named the virus filter in their throat the 'tree of life'? For the same reason that trees absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, they convert the Scorching Virus infection into their source of energy. However, the Onigashi virus proved to be too strong for their filter, posing a threat to their internal cells."

Vladimir's detailed explanation of Luke's and Clarissa's deaths left me speechless. I heard Vanessa's voice soothingly explaining as she cradled my arm in a cushioning grip.

"I'm sorry to say this, Yukkin. Luke and Clarissa have passed away. This prevents them from reincarnating with new bodies or frames."

Grief consumed me as a heavy silence enveloped the room following the revelation of my friends' deaths. I hung my head in despair as I lamented with guilt, devouring my sanity with each sentence.

"Oh… I'm really sorry about that. I'm such a terrible leader."

But Vladimir suddenly comforted me, patting and stroking my left arm.

"It's alright. We have returned their bodies to their families, preparing them for burial in their family cemeteries."

I gazed at the ceiling, my heart heavy with sorrow, contemplating my life choices for a fleeting moment.

"It's both relieving and sad simultaneously. I have accomplished the mission, but at what cost? I know that three of us always experienced a near-death experience."

"Usually, they could still fix us like a brick toy. But this one is different. What kind of power does Onigashi have?"

"Nevermind what I've said earlier. It is such a shame that Luke and Clarissa have been my good friends since my 5 years' service as Minerva's Authonoid. Despite the fact that I suffered the loss of another one two years ago, I still cherish these friendships."

"Elliott... Minami..."

"That makes me feel guilty as a team leader. Because every time I lead a team, my team ends up dying in front of me. Although, I bear the pressure of the bloodshed instead of them."

"Fate is always playing its card. And henceforth, I prefer doing everything on my own to prevent the same tragedy from happening in front of my eyes again."

"Not out of selfishness, but to prevent the recurrence of such tragedies and protect those under my leadership."

Vanessa's gentle embrace around my left arm and her sorrowful smile provided me with a fleeting sense of comfort as she softly explained.

"I know what you've been thinking, Yukkin. The point is, don't overburden yourself, and always take a break whenever you're exhausted."

Vladimir put his arm around me and offered words of solace.

"Being an Authonoid has consequences. And it's natural for you to face death, whether you're ready or not."

"I know the deaths of your comrades made you feel guilty. You fear punishment for your poor leadership, correct? There's no need to worry about it. Commander Katoki has granted you permission to rest in this hospital. And when you've recovered, you can continue your duty."

Vanessa's fingers lightly grazed my cheek as she persuaded me.

"You're not fully recovered yet. Wait for the doctor's confirmation that you've recovered."

All I could manage was nodding.

Vladimir then got up from the chair, the chair creaking with effort, and left the hospital room.

"Have a good rest, Tsuyuki."

Vanessa, with a smile on her face, followed Vladimir out of the hospital room.

"See you for another day, Yukkin. And get well soon."

As the silence settled, I embraced the temporary respite of darkness once more, closing my eyes in anticipation of a better tomorrow.

I was hoping for a better day tomorrow. Or could it possibly be even worse than I'd expected?