Chapter-1

*If I could slam his head into my locker, what sound would it make?

Obviously a THUD but his head seems...strong so it would make a nice thud* I think to myself. These intrusive thoughts are getting disturbing day by day.

"So are you in or out? Julia?"

"Oh um....come again?" I say startled at his voice.

"The party at my place? My parents are out for the weekend so I want you to come and maybe you could get your hot friend if you want" He smirks as he finishes that sentence.

"No Jason" I say in a sarcastic tone, god these jocks are annoying. I have only been invited to parties just cause I'm friends with Emma.

Emma is "that girl" and everyone wants to befriend her but she has a particular taste to hang out with a depressed boring high-school teen.

Yep that's me and even I was annoyed when she wanted to hang out with me but it wasn't that bad even though I always wondered why me?

I slammed my locker, unfortunately not on his head and walked past him. Next is Economics and I have this class together with Emma so I decided to tell her what just happened not to forget the fact that she is my only friend.

"Don't take it too personally, you know they don't actually mean it"

"Oh really Emma, you think so?"

"Yeah I mean-"

"Shhh! The class is about to start"

"Geez you are the one who wanted my opinion"

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I was really close from sleeping in between the class again when my phone buzzed.

Yes I was surprised because I don't usually get any messages other than Emma and probably my Mom. I took a peek at my phone and to my surprise it was a text from an old friend from middle school.

"Who's that?" Emma whispers

"I...um...it's-" The bell rings and I sigh

"So....?" Her eyes look curious

"It's an old friend from middle school"

"What does she want, I'm assuming it's a she" She gives me that look cause she knows that I'm bad at befriending guys.

"Yeah um it's an invitation, a reunion?" I look puzzled and so does she.

"Give me that. Huh it is an invitation to a reunion. Cool"

I snatch my phone from her. Gosh she is tall.

"You should go. I think it would be good for you"

"You think?"

"Yeah it's being held this weekend, I mean you're definitely not going to Jason's party and instead of spending this weekend all alone you should meet up with some of your old friends."

I mean she isn't totally wrong about this. I do need to go out more often other than school.

Plus it would be nice to catch up with them. I guess the reason I don't want to go is that 'he' might be there.

I'd hate to relive that feeling.

After reading the text again and again I finally replied to her saying that I would come.

She replied with an exited emoji and later a thumbs up emoji.

It was awkward. I can't believe I'm awkward and boring even in texts so I just turned off my phone and continued thinking about him.

He refers to Austin. My crush. I mean it was pretty clear that we both liked each other but he was just....a lot that I needed for my first relationship. He definitely wanted to be in a mature relationship, probably that involved sex.

I still remember that day where he almost kissed me. There were other students around but were too busy preparing for the school festival. We were in an empty classroom looking for equipment, at least I was when I felt him very close to me. I got literal goose bumps and tried to get away from him.

*What are you doing? You guys are finally alone! Do something!!* I taught to myself.

I made a nervous laugh sound and tried to say something, something that could loose the tension in this room.

Before I knew it he was getting close, real close. As I was walking backwards my back felt the wall. I knew I was stuck.

He started touching me, my breast to be exact and slowly moving down and as he leans closer I-I felt scared, I don't know what's happening but at the same time I wanted him to touch me more and kiss me passionately like in the movies.

Just then two boys entered the classroom and saw us. They stopped him and I realized that I had my scared look still on, Austin stopped and looked at them and I took this chance to get out of there. I ran to the restroom and saw my reflection. I was out of breath, my face was red.

I was blushing!

I taught it would be awkward between us and tried to avoid him. As soon as I left the restroom he grabbed my hand and said, "what's wrong? We were suppose to get those supplies remember?"

I literally jumped at his presence. He acted like nothing just happened. My face was filled with confusion as he drags me back to the room but this time he actually helps me gather those supplies.

We never spoke about this again. His smile and his act as if what just happened never happened. They were definitely a red flag but I never wanted him more.