The Old Lady and Misunderstandings

[Kingdom Name: Unknown]

[Kingdom Level: 1]

[Population: 32]

…..

[Population: 31]

One man and one system stood on an island outside a brick built wall with an iron gate. Sprays of spring flowers decorated patches either side of the gate and as hanging baskets as well. There was a sign beside the gate;

"Primrose Cottages, retirement village."

"Oh hello," a wobbly voice called out from the other side of the gate. A short elderly woman with a face like an apple that had been left in the fridge way too long, smiled warmly at them. Her back was slightly bent and her daisy patterned pink dress had been paired with a green cardigan. "Are you an entertainer? We've been waiting ages!"

Russell glanced at the seagull standing beside him, before spinning upon his heel to walk away.

"Your Majesty!" Hissed the seagull beneath its breath. Well, whistled. The old lady rubbed at her ear then pulled out a small box from her pocket, the wire extending from which led to her ear. She fiddled with it for a moment.

The man pouted. He really didn't want to have to do this.

According to the System, the retirement village was a little out of era for the Kingdom, especially considering that they were fresh out of the gates in the creation of it. It muttered something about an out of code algorithm. To Russell, it sounded like there was a loophole in the Creation Program that had been exploited by a jokester. Regardless, to get back on track, they needed to fix this. The only way to do that was to earn points.

To earn points, Russell's only choice was to 'offer aid to villagers' aka the elderly residents of the retirement village. Seemed like another exploitable loophole to him, taking advantage of what was effectively an error in the first place.

He knew all this was broken. God should have just left it up to Evolution and not bothered with the Programs, Systems and hosts. Earth turned out okay, hadn't it? Bad decision on His part.

The Highest Being in the order of the Universe sneezed.

"Oh, are you an entertainer?" The old lady said once more, no recognition of their faces within her blue eyes.

"Yes…?" Russell replied.

"That's good. It's been really boring this past week!" The old lady smiled, then waved at him to enter. "Come on in! Everyone will be so pleased to see you!" She wandered away humming happily and did not look back once.

The seagull noticed that there was an intercom doorbell on a post at the gate and flew over to it to press the button with its beak. There was a buzzing sound, followed by crackling and in amongst the latter was a; "Yes, who is it?"

The seagull landed by the post and cleared its throat. "Please open the gates and make welcome His Majesty, the King!" It said in a pompous tone. Russell glanced at the intercom. Didn't you usually need to hold down the button as you speak?

Regardless, the other end heard the System loud and clear. "So you are the Elvis Impersonator I booked. You're late, you were scheduled for yesterday afternoon!"

"Er..Huh? Huh!" The seagull had apparently lost the ability to speak.

"Oh, nice impression!" The person on the other end indeed sounded impressed. Russell couldn't help but cover his mouth, chuckles threatening to spill from his lips. "I'll buzz you in. Just a moment!"

The intercom made anothing buzzing sound and the gates swung open before them. The seagull's wings lowered to the ground as did its neck, it looked a bit depressed. Russell took pity on it.

"Come on, we can go in now," he called out to the bird. "Let's go earn some points, hmm?"

"But Your Majesty," The seagull muttered weakly, following after him as he passed through the gate. "How can I let you do something as crude as impersonating this… Elvis fellow? Think about your reputation!"

Russell didn't think he had a reputation to begin with. He checked the smartwatch (which had been adjusted weight wise as a bribe to get him here). Uh, turns out he did indeed have a reputation.

[King's Reputation; 0]

Translation; no one knows who the hell you are.

Putting reputation aside, Russell also had no intention of impersonating Elvis. For one thing, he would do it badly. Fish had more musical talent than him. He also wasn't sure he recalled any of the lyrics of Elvis' iconic songs from beginning to end. Probably could cover the chorus'...

He shook his head. "Don't worry," he reassured the seagull, before adding; "besides, what could be more entertaining than watching a seagull perform Elvis? Much more amazing than watching me."

"Wha…?"

"Don't worry, you'll do fine. 'I'm countin' on you!'"

The seagull wanted to cry; "Don't be cruel! I beg of you!"