Exchange rates and Cabbages

There was polite applause over 'Elvis' the seagull and 'ventriloquist' Russell's 'act'.

The System, who lacked a sense of timing and could only rely on the Omni-net's grand database for jokes, many of which were older than their audience, was relatively pleased with its performance. Russell didn't feel like enlightening it as he heard a few comments following the final few claps.

"Wasn't as good as the talking dog act on B.G.T," one elderly 'whispered' to the woman sitting next to her, who nodded sagely.

"Hmm, I saw his lips move several times," she said in reply.

Russell's lips moved this time, curling downward. How did his lips move? You mean those times he had to say 'Who's there?' Which sadly was way more than once.

As the elderly filtered away, abandoning Russell and the seagull on the lawn where they had 'performed', the watch gave a happy chime.

[Village Task - Entertain the Crowd, completed]

[Please return to Task Giver for Rewards]

"I'll be back in a bit," Russell told the gull and headed to the larger property.

This place looked as if it had been standing longer than the small cottages. It was probably a large home originally sitting alone in its grounds. However, now it had been converted into a communal hall and offices for the most part. There were also comfortable rooms for 'club activities', a break room for staff and a hairdressers.

The middle-aged woman, who was the manager of the place, had her office on the second floor. This is where Russell headed.

He knocked politely on the door. She looked up from the laptop on the desk.

"Oh, you're done already?" She asked, but didn't give him a chance to continue. "I wrote you out a cheque as requested. I was surprised… I mean, who uses a cheque book now aday's? Saying that, some of the old dears do still prefer using cash over bank cards."

Russell picked up the cheque and put it into his pocket. The System had told him that money would be converted into points. The figure on the cheque wasn't a great deal, just 80 bucks, but who knew that the exchange rate from pounds to points was 1:1?! Didn't that mean he spent forty quid on a sandwich on the first day?! His heart finally felt some of the pain the seagull had been experiencing these past few days.

He coughed, remembering his true mission in the village. "It's a nice place you've built here."

"Thanks," the woman smiled. "Well, that's really down to the company. We do have a good reputation and we've many people hoping to move here. That said, it's not as easy keeping staff. One of the gardening assistants handed in his notice a few weeks ago and we've not yet replaced him. I've had the Head Gardener, Harry, on my back for the past few days… that and the maintenance team complaining that they are short. I keep telling them, there's no money in the budget for extra staff!"

"What about getting volunteers?" He asked, nudging the conversation aptly. The seagull would be proud.

"Being run by a private company," the woman replied, as she tapped away at the keyboard, "there's not really the call for volunteers. The most we can hope for is bringing in students for work experience, but that's only a couple of times a year and we're seldom picked." She shook her head and her focus began to return to her job. "Anyway, thank you for your time today."

"That's alright," he sighed, feeling like he'd lost an opportunity, not sure how to get it back. (This author feels the same ( T_T))

"If you leave your business card, we'll be sure to call you if we need your services again," she added before dismissing him out of her office. She didn't look to see if he left anything. He didn't.

Leaving the building, head downcast, he dragged himself back to where he'd left the System. The seagull was not alone.

"It's all in the timing, listen; 'A man walks into a bar...… ow!'"

"I see… just one question. Did the man have a sight impediment?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well he walked into a bar. That's not really the sort of thing one can miss seeing ordinarily."

"...."

The person the seagull was attempting to establish logic into jokes with was a little old man, who was so wrinkled that should he lay in a field of cabbages, he might be harvested along with them. His brows would have been mistaken for two furry caterpillars eating the leaves. He leaned partially on a walking stick, while contently discussing jokes with the gull, not bothered about the fact that it was a bird he was speaking too.

"Oh, Your Majesty!" The seagull called out, cheerfully, noticing Russell's return.

The old man looked over him with a beady eye, before his caterpillars settled back down on his face. "You got him to call you that?" He questioned Russell bluntly.

Russell shook his head. "Nope. Can't get him to stop."

"Heh."

"So what's the next task, your Majesty?" The seagull asked enthusiastically.

Russell had the face to look a bit sheepish. "Didn't manage to get one."

"What will we do?" The seagull sounded worried.

"Tasks?" The old man questioned. Unpurplused that an 'outsider' heard their discussion, the seagull turned to him and explained;

"We need to complete many tasks in this village," The seagull told him, honestly, "to fix things and recommence his Majesty's glorious ascension!"

The old man's furry brows rose up above where his hairline probably began in his youth. "Sounds like one of those stories old Dennis makes up on game night. Never understood that 'Dungeons and Dragons' stuff." He shrugged. "Well, if you want something to do, there's a few things need doing at my place. The maintenance team keep delaying 'em as non-urgent, apparently they are short on staff."

Russell and the seagull glanced at each other before agreeing and followed the man slowly back to his cottage.