Faker, Truck and God walked into the office...

(Shirou's pov)

Before we went with ROB I noticed that Truck-chan didn't say a single word since she saw him. She also paled a little. She probably knew that his presence meant that I knew about her 'little' lie.

Our roles are reversed at the moment. She is scared of what's coming next while I am grinning like a madman.

We walked to teacher's office and surprisingly there wasn't anyone there. While at the moment the number of teachers in this room shouldn't be high it was never zero.

The one who broke the silent witch continued from the start of our walk to the end of it was surprisingly ROB.

ROB: "So, do you know why I called both of you here."

Truck-chan: "To spoil my fun?

Shirou: "To save me from her?

We said at the same time. ROB hearing our answers shook his head.

ROB: "While you aren't wrong, you aren't right either."

He turned his head towards Truck-chan.

ROB: "As I explained this to Shirou I was afraid that you would something stupid."

Then his attention shifted to me.

ROB: "And I was starting to worry about your mental health. These past few days you made great progress in your recovery but the moment Truck-chan arrived you started having thoughts about massacring the whole class if not the whole school."

Shirou: "Can you blame me?"

He looked at me as if I was stupid.

ROB: "Yes, did you forget what kind of skill you have?"

Shirou: "Which one. I have many sets of skill some consider to be... unnatural."

ROB: "Stop quoting Star Wars, and you know which one I'm talking about. You have only one ability that can set you in that situation."

Shirou: "I know that harem protagonist can my life harder but you and Truck-chan are above such abilities so I don't see wbere are you going with that."

ROB: "Becuse your skill is now upgraded you'll find yourself more often in similar situations from now on and today was just test trial so if you are gonna have similar thoughts everytime something like that happen I'm afraid you're going to snap."

Shirou: "Your worries are unnecessary as it only happens near Truck-chan."

He raised his eyebrow.

ROB: "Are you sure?"

Shirou: "Why bother to ask me. You can read minds so just do it."

ROB: "It's true that I have that ability but I can't read your intentions or at least not here."

Shirou: "Meaning?"

ROB: "Most of my powers are sealed in this world."

Shirou: "Why?"

ROB: "To remind myself of my origins."

Shirou: "..."

ROB: "..."

Shirou: "Aren't you going to tell me your backstory?"

ROB: "No, why would I?"

Shirou: "Fair enough. Let's change the question then."

I turned towards Truck-chan.

Shirou: "Why are you antagonizing me?"

Truck-chan: "Oh, so now you remember me. Why don't you ask your saviour over there, hmpf."

She turned her head away from me. Does she try to act like tsundere?

Shirou: "Don't try your act Truck-chan. The pinnacle of tsundere is walking in this school so you didn't have a chance from the beginning. Besides you don't even have her thighs quality. Just answer my question."

Truck-chan: "No."

Shirou: "Answer."

She turned her head once again but in the other direction.

Truck-chan: "Never."

Vein popped out on my forehead showing how annoyed I feel at the moment.

Shirou: "Truck-chan I swear to ROB that if you don't explain yourself I'll take to a mechanic to take you apart."

She hugged herself with mild blush on her face.

Truck-chan: "I never knew you were into that kind of stuff... but if you really want it..."

I'm nearing my limit. i turned to ROB in hoping for some help. He sighed but in the end obligated.

ROB: "Truck-chan."

Truck-chan: "B-but."

ROB: "Truck-chan."

Truck-chan: "F-fine."

Unwillingly Truck-chan started explaining her reasoning but the longer I was listening to her the more I wanted to smack her.

Truck-chan: "To be honest it was idea of my mum. I seeked her advice in relationships since she is happily married with ROB and two kids."

Shirou: "Wait, stop!!! Did you say that ROB is married to Truck-san? I thought that they broke up even before that."

ROB: "I never said that."

Shirou: "Yes you did. You said that she was your ex."

ROB: "No, I said that I dated Truck-chan's mother. What I didn't say is that later on we married."

I looked at the trailer with disbelief. I thought that he was my only ally but it looks like he is also on Truck's side.

ROB: "I'm not a traitor and I'm not on anyone's side. I just don't want to something 'bad' to happen."

Truck-chan: "Hey, hey, heeeeey!!!"

Truck-chan waved her hands to catch our attention.

Truck-chan: "You can talk about it later. Now it's my turn to talk."

She cleared her throat by fake coughing.

Truck-chan: "So as I was saying I asked mum about how I can start relationship with Shirou. The only advise I got from her was that I should develop in him fetish that only I could satisfy. So I tried to do just that. I thought that by making my presence known and making it bigger with time Shirou wouldn't be able to live without me or if I wasn't nearby he would thought that something is missing but in that process our role were reserved and know I can't live without him."

...I don't even know where to begin. I would even ask why she wants to have relationship with me but it probably has something to do with my past life and I decided to let it go already... at least almost.

Shirou: "Truck-chan, I'm gonna be honest. Your thought process is fundamentally flawed. You are trying to somehow use Stockholm syndrome in your favour without kidnapping which is morally wrong."

Truck-chan: "Mum said that as long as both sides are happy at the end it doesn't matter how you got there."

Shirou: "I'm starting to see where the core of the problem lies.

Truck-chan: "Right, big brother really should get some kind of break. He overworked himself constantly and we are starting to worry about him."

Calm down, achieve nirvana. Thus truck before me can't make me lose more mind than she already had.

While I was nearing achieving nirvana Truck-chan closed up to me to see if I'm alright since I closed my eyes and stopped talking.

Truck-chan: "ROB, did I finally broke him?"

ROB: "Don't worry, he just achieved inner peace. Good for him."

Truck-chan: "But not for me."

She slapped me hard enough to not only wake me up but for me to fly away from the place I stood.

When I woke up I looked at the reason of my swollen cheek while said reason started breathing heavily thinking about what kind of revenge I'm gonna bring upon her... but just ignored her making her strangely happy. It seems that she is too far gone.

While the both of us had our exchange ROB interrupt us.

ROB: "If you want to continue your flirting, do it later on. We are in school and this place is created for people to learn. Don't let doujins fool you."

And just like that we split up... or I would say that but Truck-chan goes to the same class as I.

(A/N We are done with school 'arc'. The next chapter is Rin focused chapter.)