Imagine

You truly discover the real you when you have kids. They reflect your values and who you really are most of the time.

We wanted three kids, boys and a girl if possible. This was the plan 3 years in our relationship. We had to get a bigger house, change cars, get married. Although, there was a little problem. These were my plans. I wanted the perfect family with someone who loved me.

He did not want kids, at least not with me.

He definitely did not love me.

I did not love me. At least not enough to see through the falsehood.

I'm not getting any younger and the universe makes sur to remind me. Be it through my mother, the more frequent doctors appointments or the way looks I got on the streets evolved. Believe it or not, it feeds my ego to know people admire me on the streets. My ego hasn't been fed for a while now.

Weeks after, I tried to put myself out there, my last few friends insisted I did. Keyword: tried. I did it again some months after — after much needed self care/love — and it was a bit more successful. Why? you ask. I didn't settle.