29. Family

When I was a kid, I was big into mythology. The tales of Gods and Goddesses, heroes and villains, love and hope. There's a certain tragedy to every story. I mean, the guy gets the girl and then she dies and he loses her again for looking back when taking her out of the underworld. The prophecy is fulfilled but you killed your dad. You cheat death and you're punished by the Gods. You push that boulder again and again, up that stupid hill only to see it roll down again. It makes you think, how stupid it all is. To argue, to fight, to try to escape the inescapable.. But maybe that's what makes us human.

-Emily Moore

"I have a deadline now?" Emily asked over the phone as Noah let out a sound of agreement.

"Yeah. Harper doesn't know if he should save that spot for you anymore. Maybe by the end of the week?" The sister sighed heavily and she paced back and forth.

"I'll try." Pulling the phone away from her ear, she hung up and tossed her phone onto the bed.

.

"Noah gave me a deadline by the end of the week," Emily informed tentatively as they entered the elevator. Mark paused.

"Are you going?"

"It's something we should talk about for real now. I don't want to move without you," she answered honestly, taking a gentle hold of his fingers. They got on the elevator and she jabbed the button for the ground floor. "But I'm not sure. I don't want to leave Seattle and my friends."

"I think you should." He was adamant. "I can find work anywhere and you're a great person. They'll love you." She looked away, tracing patterns in the floor with her shoe.

"I know… but Derek and Callie are here. They're your best friends and… Alex, and Meredith, and George? The others? How can I just leave them?" She frowned as he gazed at her.

"Look, I get it. They're your best friends but you can always talk to them. You aren't seriously considering not going because of your friends?" he asked, incredulous. "This is Mass Gen we're talking about," he told her softly and she scowled as the elevator doors opened. "Do you want to go?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Then it's easy. We go," he said it simply and she felt irritated that he didn't see it how she saw it. They grabbed a pair of latex gloves each and continued onward towards the trauma room.

"It isn't that simple," she replied, keeping her voice level with effort. "There are more things to consider. We don't know for sure that this job you'll get will be as good as the one here. Besides, your family is here."

"So?" he played it off, "I can always make new friends."

"Not ones like Callie and Derek." She argued and he was about to reply when they finally reached the room. "We'll talk about this later." They met up with Derek and the brunette sent a pointed glare in Derek's direction when he heard her words. They got a brief patient history as Emily immediately went to the little girl in the room. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Ivy,"

"Okay, I'm Emily. Stick close to me, okay?" She nodded as her father began screaming for his daughter.

"He's still asleep," Derek realized as they began to restrain him.

"Mr. Soltanoff, calm down!" Emily cried out, pulling his daughter close to her. George pushed against his shoulders but the man kept struggling.

"Dad, I'm right here!" she screamed as the man struggled, swinging wildly. Mark got knocked off balance ducking and it ended up socking Callie in the nose. Making sure the girl stayed put, she crouched in front of the resident.

"Callie, Callie! I got her." Helping her friend up, she took her to a separate room nearby. "Here, take it." Offering the ice pack, she was glad when Callie responded, placing the blue, cold package on her face. Getting a piece of gauze and tape, she applied it to under her nostrils to stop the flow before preparing an anesthetic after slapping on a pair of gloves.

"How is she?" Mark asked, coming in.

"Complaining so I'm assuming she's fine," Emily snorted as Mark took the needle from her. "I can do it myself. I know how to set a broken nose." Her words were clipped. It was clear their spat before wasn't forgotten.

"I can't believe this is happening,"

"It wasn't a great nose anyway." Mark said in some weird act of comfort.

"It was a nice nose!" Callie took off the ice pack, tears making her eyes red as her breath hitched. Mark took off the gauze and used a tool to lift her nostril and inserted the needle into the nose.

"Little pinch."

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"It was a gorgeous nose and it will be again in two weeks," Emily informed, letting the woman squeeze the life out of her hand.

"Really?"

"Three weeks, four tops," Mark said with a smile.

"I hate you."

"You love me. Oh, come on. That didn't hurt." He took out the needle and placed it on the tray as Emily looked at the break.

"Shove off, Mark. I can do it."

"Yeah, well maybe if I was having a good year it would feel like just a little pinch. But it hurts a lot, Mark. It hurts a lot. Ow."

"Maybe we should use conscious sedation instead of local. It'll be a whole new day when you wake up and your nose will be fixed," Emily suggested, tucking a stray hair behind the Latina's ear.

"Well, at least I have the both of you. You'll still be my friends and get insanely drunk with me whenever I want?"

"Of course." Emily promised.

"Anytime. You know, once your face heals."

"I love you, I hate you. Get out." Scoffing, Callie placed the ice pack back on her nose and Mark left.

"You got the break?"

"Yes." Emily stared at him and he kissed her forehead, leaving. "Stupid idiot. I don't know why I love him," she muttered as the anesthetic did its work. "Okay, Callie. I'm going to set your nose. It's gonna hurt even with the numbing agent." She placed her fingertips against the woman's nose tentatively. She winced but didn't say anything, "Three, two, one!" She gently pushed the bone back into place, readjusting it a few times and ignoring Callie's flinches before pulling back.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah, it's straight." Putting a patch to make sure it would stay still, she added extra gauze and tape. She tore off her gloves. "I'm gonna take you to the clinic. Make sure you sleep a lot. Get some good drugs." Helping her friend off the table, she patted her shoulder. "Come on. Let's go."

.

"Ivy, are you alright?"

"Yeah."

"Have you been sleeping?"

"You aren't the first doctor to ask me that," the girl said quietly as they wheeled her father back in.

"Can I sit with you then?" she offered and Ivy nodded. Settling on the bed next to her, she dug her palms into her knees. The doctors began requesting to do and E.E.G. as Mark asked how often her father sleepwalked. He insisted he took his meds, that he just forgot tonight as she got off the bed.

"No, you didn't. You took them while I was brushing my teeth like you always do and then you put me to bed like you always do, and then you woke up screaming like you always do."

"Ivy…"

"I try to stay awake at night because usually I can talk you back to bed." The exhaustion leaked into her voice and Emily felt a pang of sympathy for her. She began crying as her father rubbed her shoulder. "But tonight, I must have fallen asleep."

"Honey, why didn't you tell me?"

"You said these dreams were caused by stress, and I'm your stress." The heartbreak in her words made Emily's heart desire to reach out towards the little girl. Her eyes softened and she bit her lip, wanting to wrap her in a hug.

"Sweetheart-"

"You take such good care of me during the day." Her voice shook, punctuated by shakes of her shoulder and sniffles. "I thought the least I could do was take care of you at night." Mark leaned down, eyes kind.

"But we're saying the nightmares were caused by the epilepsy, not the stress. And if the test confirms the epilepsy, you understand what that would mean?"

"This wasn't my fault?"

"That it wasn't your fault." Mark affirmed. Ivy began sobbing, pressing her face into her father's hand as he confirmed they could get the E.E.G. Nodding, Emily stood with a promise to come back. Her hand rested for a moment on the girl's shoulder before leaving after Mark.

.

"Hey, they take your dad up to surgery already?" Emily asked, returning to the room of Mr. Soltanoff. His daughter started at her voice before nodding. "Do you want to wait in the sitting area? I'll come with you." The tiny brunette hopped off the bed, turning off the TV and following the surgeon to the sitting area.

"Can I have a coffee?" The question was hesitant and Emily frowned.

"You're only thirteen,"

"I like the taste." She suspected there was more to that but stood and grabbed the smallest cup and filled it with coffee. She didn't know how she liked it but added sugar and cream just in case before returning to her.

"Here." Frowning, she tucked a strand of hair behind Ivy's ear. "You could have a nap. Your dad won't be out for another maybe one and a half hour." Emily laid a tentative arm around her shoulders and let the girl lean into her. Ivy rubbed at her eyes, sipping the coffee occasionally as they continued on in silence for another thirty minutes.

"Your dad won't be out for another hour," Mark reported as he sat on the table across from them. "Thirteen and already hitting the hard stuff?" At her silence, he glanced at Emily, "You know, when I was little, my parents weren't very interested in having kids of their own. They had friends, they had lives. They weren't around very much at night." Emily's interest piqued. Mark didn't talk about his parents often. She didn't want to push him but that didn't stop her from being curious. "And before I went to bed, I'd turn on all the TV's… every light in the house, even the closets. Still couldn't sleep. It's hard to sleep when you don't feel safe in your own house, isn't it?" Emily's head cocked and her other arm gently guided Ivy's head to her. She nodded, whispering a 'yeah,' and handing the cup of coffee to Mark.

"You can sleep now, Ivy."

"No."

"We don't take no for an answer," Emily said quietly, looking at Mark. "We won't leave, you're safe with us. We'll be here. Come on, close your eyes." Her other hand stroked her hair, down her cheek before letting it fall into her own lap as Mark stared at her. "Go throw the coffee away, I'll stay here with her."

He did so, standing up and taking the coffee and throwing it away in the garbage can a few metres away. Her head turned to the girl sleeping against her shoulder and her heavy breathing, signalling she was asleep. A warm feeling spread across her chest as she stroked the girl's hair absently, stilling when she shifted. Her ribs were pressed against the wooden armrests which dug into her side uncomfortably causing the thirteen year old to squirm in her sleep. Uncertain, Emily looked at Mark who was sitting in front of them again. He took her immediately into his arms and transferred her into Emily's lap. Ivy's head rested against her collarbone as she burrowed into her neck. It was fast and smooth as Mark's hand was placed on Ivy's shoulder.

"She's sleeping now." Her voice was barely a whisper as she gazed at the sleeping child in her lap.

"That's good." Mark's voice was equally soft. "You'd be a good mom, really."

"You'd be a fantastic father," she told him and his blue eyes widened. "I'm not lying." He knew she wasn't. "We…" She paused. "We'd have beautiful children." This time, he knew his jaw must've detached from his face and she flushed, looking away. For some reason, his chest felt considerably light and the thought didn't scare him. In fact, the thought of children made his heart pound against his ribcage in what could've been fear and what could've been hope. "I'm sorry about your parents." He sighed.

"So am I." They shared a secret look and they lapsed into a silence again. After twenty minutes had passed, Emily felt her bladder becoming full and shifted uncomfortably. Ivy stirred, yawning but not particularly startled on where she was. She looked up at Emily, rubbing at her eyes. "I can take her," Nodding, she nudged the girl gently.

"Ivy, Dr. Sloan's going to sit with you while you sleep. I'm going to go to the bathroom then I'll be right back." Ivy nodded and Mark picked her up again, allowing Emily to stand and walked to the bathroom but not before glancing over her shoulder. Mark was now in her chair, Ivy seated in his lap and curled up as she tried to fall back asleep. The image melted her heart and stayed in her mind as she went to the bathroom. Once she was done rinsing her hands, she felt her pager vibrate and took it out. Nothing important that she couldn't have her interns do. Stopping by a nurse's station, she asked the nurse to pager her interns before heading back to Mark.

"Sh…" He pressed his index finger to his lips and she smiled fondly, sitting down beside him and kissing his cheek. "I just got her to sleep again." Nodding, she crossed a leg over her other and leaned on him.

"Kids, huh?" she asked quietly, not looking up at him. "You want them?"

"Yeah. It'd be nice," he sighed and a small smile appeared on both of their faces as her pager began buzzing consistently.

"What the-" she muttered under her breath, checking the message. Her eyes widened and she stood. "I've got to go. Something happened." Mark nodded, standing up with Ivy in his arms.

"I'll take her to her room. I'll see you at home and then we'll talk about Mass Gen," he reminded before heading off to Mr. Soltanoff's room. Emily nodded, walking to the grand staircase.

"What the hell happened?"

"Our interns performed a surgery is what happened," George said dully and she felt her mouth drop open.

"What?"

That's what Cristina meant yesterday. Why Charlotte's arms were in pain. Why they were AWOL. They were practicing on themselves.

Her interns were so dead.

.

"Dr. Grey, present." Cristina's voice was cold and sharp. Many interns visibly swallowed nervously as Lexie began.

"Sadie Harris, thirty, three hours status post-appendectomy complicated by severe hemorrhaging."

"Death, what is this?" Meredith ignored the woman on the bed, turning to gaze at a tall, black intern.

"Dr. Spalding."

"Vitals stable, triple antibiotic coverage. She should fully recover within two weeks."

"And?"

"And… We, your surgeons-" Lexie stepped forward with a sigh. Her face was full of shame as she said what they had instructed them all to memorize- "made mistakes that compromised your care. Mistakes that reflect poorly on this hospital and that won't happen again."

"Every intern here is on probation. None of you will see the inside of an O.R. until further notice," Emily informed icily. "You complain, you don't do a chart, you be so much as a second late for rounds, you are done." Her gaze drifted to her interns and they looked away. Narrowing her eyes, she said no more. She had her own choice words for them.

"You've lost the Chief's respect, which, believe me, is not an easy thing to get back."

"And speaking for myself, you've lost my respect, and you probably won't ever get that back." Alex's gaze hardened when an intern turned to his friend to say something. "What did you say?"

"You seem to still respect Izzie Stevens and she killed a patient." In an instant the man was pushed against the wall as Alex spat words in his face. The interns gasped as the intern's face became wrought with arrogance.

"She was trying to save a man's life and you almost killed a friend for fun. It's different."

"You may leave." The interns filed out of the room, past Izzie who stood stock-still in shock. Shaking her head, she snapped her fingers. Charlotte, Ethan, Michael, and Liam all froze and she gestured sharply to go down the hall with her. Opening an exam room, she walked behind a table and had them stand in a line before her.

"I want to understand," she began quietly. "I want to understand what could have prompted you to perform an appendectomy by yourselves in outpatient surgery." Charlotte looked like she was about to burst into tears and Emily raised a finger. "No. You do not get to cry. You do not get to show regret or guilt because you willingly put a fellow intern in danger today. And that's on me. It reflects poorly on me. And do you know what would have happened if she died? That would've been on me too. Because I failed to supervise you even when I thought I didn't. I failed to teach you when I thought I was a good teacher."

"Dr. Moore-" Liam tried to start but she cut him off.

"Shut up. None of you get to talk to me like I am more than your boss. You decided to cut those ties when you decided to do something so stupid, so thoughtless, because you wanted to do a fancy surgery." Pinning each of them with a glare, she couldn't bear to feel anything but the raw fire of rage. "Why? Did I not teach you enough? Was I neglectful?"

They were quiet and she barked out, "You can talk now."

"We just wanted to do a solo surgery. We just wanted… to do a surgery." Ethan bowed his head and she scowled.

"I am your resident and we are fighting tooth-and-nail to get our own solo surgery. What makes you think any of you are qualified? And to do it in the middle of the night? What would've happened had she died? If you couldn't have found help? How would you hid the fact that you killed an intern?

"Not only would you all lose your licenses, I could've lost my license."

"Dr. Moore, we're sorry-"

"No speaking." She clenched her jaw, turning away and pacing. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she growled, "I can't even look at any of you. From now on, you follow every single order. You know what I want before I even say it. You don't brown-nose, you don't try to be friendly. I am your teacher only. Dismissed."

They glanced at each other before filing out. Leaning against the table, she gave herself five seconds of silence before she began to walk to the resident's lounge, a jerking movement to her actions as she tossed her bag out of her cubby and sat down, burying her face in her hands.

.

"I'm not saying I don't want to go to Mass Gen. I'm just... I'm saying that I love it here, in this residency. I love the people and my teachers and where we are right now." Emily told him, throwing her dirty clothes into a bag. Her damp hair was wrapped up in a towel as she tied her robe around her waist. Going over to one of the cabinets, she took out a clean set of pajamas as Mark left the bathroom as well. "Mark, it's been a bad day. Can we just… not talk about it?"

"No, we can't because you have a deadline." He put on a pair of boxers before untying the towel from around his waist and drying his hair and chest. "You'll love it there. You'll see Noah more often. Shriner's already offered me a job at their hospital. Emily, this could really boost your career."

"But it'll hinder yours," she protested, untying her robe and putting on a loose t-shirt, "Shriner's has got nothing on Seattle Grace and you're getting a demotion going there."

"I'd spend less time at work and more time at home then."

"Mark, you'll hate me if we go there. You'd be unhappy and I can't do that to you. I know you."

"And I know you too. You won't go because of some stupid reason that your friends are here. It's pathetic!" he yelled and she stared at him, frozen. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice against her. A spark crackled between them and the words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"Like you haven't done that?" she snapped coldly. The air froze and their gazes turned icy with frost. Emily laughed softly and bitterly, unbelieving that they've gone to this point. "You sold your practice for Derek. You came here, to a second-rate job for your best friend." She put on her underwear and hung the robe on the bathroom door before unravelling the towel from her hair. "So you're saying that's any different?" Putting on pants quickly, she watched as Mark's eyes pinned her down.

"It is! I've known him for most of my life. You've known them for, what, two years?" She faltered, at a loss of words at his harsh tone "It is different." His voice shook her and she flinched. Shaking her head, she pulled back the comforter to prepare for a night's rest that was unlikely to happen. It seemed they had come to a pause, a cease fire when her phone began to ring. It was Noah. "Tell him you're going." She picked it up and declined the call. "Why aren't you boosting your career?" It was a soft question, genuinely asked and she looked away.

"My interns cut open their friend today. I can barely supervise them so what makes you think I can go to a top-five hospital and survive? Mark, I won't make it."

"Is that what you think or what you know?" She didn't answer him. Instead, she tossed her phone back on the nightstand and sat on the bed. "Em…"

"There are expectations for me out there." The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees, the couple seeming to have passed their argument. "Noah Moore's sister. He's one of the greatest surgeons out there. Here, it isn't that bad but in Boston, I'm just compared to the best peds surgeon in a long time. He was invited to the Harper Avery's five times. He won twice in a row which is unheard of. Then they're gonna see me and think I'm a failure."

"You are anything but a failure," he immediately said, coming around to sit beside her. She glanced up warily. "Tell me what I can do to help you. I love you, y'know?" He hugged her tightly and her fingers dug into his back as she returned the embrace.

"I need you. All I need is you to have my back," she whispered hoarsely and he nodded, pressing a kiss behind her ear.

"Okay," was his only response. They stayed like that for a long time, both unsure. This wasn't what either of them had planned and Emily knew it. Every plan she had made was ripped apart as Mark pulled away. The cold air immediately registered in her mind and she looked up at him as he stood, taking her phone. "Go sleep. I'll pack everything for you." The tone of finality gave her no room to argue as she shimmied back under the covers. He pulled them to her chest and kissed her one last time. Both their eyes were glossy and full of uncertainty. Mark didn't want this. She knew she sure as hell didn't want to go to Boston without him. But it was the best way without hurting them both in the future.

The future. It was so uncertain. At one point, she thought she could see herself with a family; with children that bore Mark's eyes and her hair. Now, all she could see was nothing. As he left the bedroom, she felt the world tilt. Nothing felt right, everything was different and she had the sense that this was not how it was supposed to go.

A/N: Edited - October 7, 2018

Next: Arrival in Boston, Taylor Jacks, and Harper Avery.