15. No One's Loved Me Like That

"Moore." The voice made her glance up, spotting Mark standing there. Groaning, she turned around. "Hey, wait!"

"Mark, I really don't want to see you right now," she mumbled blindly, shaking off the hand that tried to grab her shoulder.

"Moore, wait, hey, look at me." He stopped before her, hands out to the side. Still, her hazel gaze directed to the floor. "Did I do something wrong?"

"It wasn't you. It was Denny," she said as she finally looked up at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed and glazed with tears. He furrowed his brow at her expression but opened his arms.

"I'm not good with words so I'll just hold you," he said into her hairline when she wrapped her arms around his waist. Letting out a weak laugh, she nodded.

"I should go home," she said after a moment, pulling away. "It was nice, tonight." He drew back, surprised before starting to walk her to the car he had driven to the prom. "What happened? Did Derek see you?"

"No." He smiled. "You liked it tonight?"

"Yeah. It was… good."

"Are you sure you should be alone tonight?" The fresh air bit his face as he opened the door for her. Nodding her thanks, she buckled in her seat belt as he walked around the car and settled into the driver's seat. She was silent for a few moments, switching from glancing at him to her hands. "I could keep you company."

"Nothing funny," she said quietly. I just don't want to be alone is what he heard.

"Nothing funny," he promised. He remembered those words he had said once, to Addison a year ago, and looked what happened. Emily's brown hair flashed red and her eyes shined blue for a split second as he recalled the memory. Shaking his head minutely, the surgeon promised to himself that he would uphold this one. It just felt right and she didn't deserve what destruction he would bring into her life.

.

"Do you, uh wanna sleep on the couch? Or…" She trailed off, clearly exhausted as she threw off his jacket that he had wrapped around her shoulders on the walk up. "I could call a cab, whatever. You don't have to stay," the brunette muttered, having second thoughts. His heart twinged at her expression but he was able to smile. Gathering his mistreated jacket in his arms, he hung it on a chair.

"No," he said firmly. Sitting on the couch, he turned to her. Resting his arm along the back of the frame, he gazed at her. "Go change, shower. I'm going to change, okay?" He gestured to the small bag that held a simple t-shirt and sleeping pants he had hastily packed when they had stopped at the Archfield.

"Okay." She nodded sullenly, disappearing into a room. As the sound of a shower started, he let his head fall back and his eyes close. What the hell am I doing here? Normally he was the one bringing girls back to his place not the other way around. Looking around, he noted the small TV that was obviously unused and a few knick knacks she had lying on shelves. A picture of her and Noah, another one with her and Theresa and lastly a one with Noah's oldest son. A picture of her family was on the very end and he smiled at her bright grin.

The table in front of him was full of science magazines, some full of wrinkled pages. Her laptop was half-opened on top of the stacks, a forgotten cup of tea resting near the edge. Remembering his original purpose, he gathered his clean clothes in his arm but contemplated his next actions.

"Hey." He turned around to see Emily, her hair clumped and wet. She was dressed in loose pants, the tassels tied into a drooping bow. Her shirt was too big for her, he nearly smiled at how it set low on her, reaching her thighs and baring her shoulders.

"You can use the shower, if you want. There's nothing for guys but—" The brunette shrugged in an attempt at humor— "I can get you some towels."

"That'd be nice," he accepted quietly, not liking how solemn she was. The life seemed drained out of her as she led him to the small bathroom. She disappeared for a moment before returning with a towel folded in her arms.

"Here, and uh… " Piling the freshly dried fabric in his arms, she opened a few drawers before finding an unopened package. Ripping it, she placed the toothbrush on top of the towel. "Yeah, so, here. I'll just go…" Leaving, she just got out of sight when he called after her.

"Moore, wait." She appeared in the doorframe once more and he sighed at how small and wretched she looked. Setting down his towel and toothbrush, he walked over and hugged her tightly. "You talk to me as soon as you're ready, okay?" When she didn't answer, he pulled back his head. "Promise me."

Hazel met a cold blue and she nodded. "Promise."

.

When Mark exited the bathroom, he looked around. To his right was Moore's bedroom where she was most likely, to his left was the sitting room where he promised to stay. Nothing funny, he chastised himself mentally. A quiet sigh to his left piqued his interest and he walked cautiously to the living area, seeing her hair spill over the side of the couch. "Moore." He let his presence be known before walking around the couch and sitting beside her. He was mindful to not let their skin brush as she acknowledged him with a glance.

"Hey." She sniffed, brushing stray tears away. Mark sorely did not want to see it. Unfortunately, he did and his heartstrings twinged.

"Denny's dead." Confused, he let her continue, resting his elbows on his knees. "He's dead and Izzie…" The tears did not give way to a cry as she straightened up, her face clear. "What if she just lost the love of her life?" she asked quietly. Putting one and one together, he tried to think of something right to say.

"No one gets just one," he returned, voice just as hushed. His thoughts flickered back to Addison before he squashed them stubbornly. Addison had no room in his head when his singular goal right now was to make Emily feel better. "The best of us get so many more and experience so many different types of love."

"I think the worst of us find it so unexpectedly that they don't see it," Emily murmured, leaning back and pulling her knees to her chest. Glancing back, he rested his back against the cushions as well. "Sloan… Mark," she corrected, smiling a bit. "Do you think Addison is your one?" The pleasant warmth that spread down to his toes at her calling him by his name receded by the question that followed.

"I don't know," he admitted truthfully as they fell into another lapse of silence. The time slowly ticked by as they thought about today's events. I danced with her and we joked and I held her in my arms. When was the last time Addison and I did something like this? Have we ever done this? he mused bitterly until wet hair started dampening his shirt. Tucking in his chin, he saw Emily resting her head on his chest. "I don't know if I've ever found the one." Raising an arm, he tucked her into his side easily, letting her hands play with the fraying edges of his pajamas. Her feet snuck under his lap in an attempt to warm them up as her breath ghosted against his collarbone.

"You must love her enough to sleep with her when she's married to Derek," she pointed out bluntly and he winced. "Sorry." Heaving a sigh, she snuggled closer. "Tell me about it. Why did you cheat?"

"It's not something you'd want to hear."

"But I want to know what it's like to love someone enough to destroy other people's lives." Her eyes met his and he frowned, eyebrows knitting together. "No one's loved me like that yet."

"Then everyone's blind," he whispered, using his other other hand not on her shoulder to gently guide her head back to his chest. He turned, pressing his nose into her hair. The smell of something floral filled his senses and he untangled the unruly mess slowly with his hand that had rested on her shoulder. "Whoever finds you and manages to snag your heart, I hope they're worthy because you're that kind of person. You need to find someone who's worthy of your love."

"What if I've missed them already?" she asked, fingers still.

"You're one of the good ones. You don't get just one," he reassured steadily, believing every single word. Her chest rose and fell for a few beats before she replied.

"You're one of the good ones too." Mark didn't believe her but chose to stay silent.

.

The following morning after, Emily woke with more energy than last night. She washed her face and brushed her teeth efficiently, changing into a pair of jeans and a cashmere sweater. Opening her door, she remembered the events of last night. Denny's dead… and Izzie. How is she? She checked her phone for any texts or phone calls as she entered the living area that connected to the kitchen.

"Hey." Startled, she nearly dropped her phone as she raised her head to see Mark. "Hope you slept well," he added awkwardly.

"Yeah, I slept alright. And you?" He pressed the button of the coffee machine before smirking.

"Slept pretty good once a maiden brought me pillows in my dreams." Flushing slightly, she huffed.

"I didn't want your poor neck to get sore."

"And I thank you, jailbait." He gave a small, comical bow causing her to smile. Last night was good, she thought dazedly as he poured a cup of coffee for himself. A small ball of warmth grew in her chest. He looked so domestic drinking from a reindeer cup. It was adorable. "You still there?"

Snapping out of her daze, she looked at him distractedly. "What?"

"I said, before all the dying, how was yesterday?" He asked the question softly as if scared it would send her scurrying back to the safety of her bed. When she didn't answer, he settled the cup on the counter and walked around to her. "Hey, you okay?" She bit her lip when she recalled the heartbroken expression that glowed in Izzie's eyes and how her sobs had wracked the very core of her being.

"Oh." She swallowed, wringing her hands. "Yeah. It was fun," she said sincerely, "and Sloan? What are you going to do today?"

"I don't know. Maybe book a flight back to NY to just tie up some loose ends."

"Alright. Yeah, that sounds good." Wringing out her hands, she glanced at the door. "Well, I've got to go." She grabbed her jacket off the hanger as he furrowed his brow.

"You gotta boyfriend to run to?" he asked jokingly as she grabbed her coat off the hanger. Shaking her head, she chuckled.

"Yeah. I mean-" She facepalmed, "No. I don't have a boyfriend. I'm just going to go check on Izzie." Can my face get any redder? She thought crossly as he grabbed her arms and turned her around. "Not everything's about romance,"

"Says you," He retorted, returning back to his cup of coffee. Laughing, she nodded. "You'll find Prince Charming eventually," The surgeon added, raising the cup to his lips.

"And you might've found your princess, already," She teased back, stepping out of her apartment to leave the man to his thoughts.

.

"Hey, Izzie." The blonde was silent, staring distantly at the tiles behind her. Emily situated herself on her back, staring up at the ceiling. "So, I don't really know what to say. I don't think comfort is going to help. So, I'll just talk to you about whatever you want. What do you wanna know?"

"Tell me-" Her voice was cracking from lack of water- "about Noah, leaving."

"That won't help, Iz," Emily protested gently but the look in her friend's eyes persuaded her. "Okay." Sighing, she looked at the ceiling again. "The first one was the hardest. He was gone for a year and I swear… it was the hardest year of my life. I had no one to talk to and when something happened, the only person I did want to tell was my brother. But there he was, halfway across the world and when he returned, God, I felt like I hated him so much. Because he was gone and there was no one left for me. My mom was gone and so was my dad. It was like limbo; sleep, eat, study, repeat. And then he went again, and again, and over time, I just stopped feeling it because I couldn't go through that pain every time and I felt so tired, trying to keep in touch with him."

"I feel so tired. Like I'm not Izzie and I just slipped into another person's skin. Denny is dead and Burke got shot. How did we end up here?" The blonde asked quietly. Grasping the woman's hand, she held on with all her might.

"We never know where we might end up, Iz."

.

As they filed into the patient's room, Emily felt a hand squeeze her arm. Looking up briefly, she sent a smile at Derek before standing next to Cristina and Meredith, the head of neuro whispering something to the blonde. "Well good morning. Benjamin, Ruth."

"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd," The woman, Ruth responded as the man on the bed rose a cynical eyebrow.

"Good morning. It doesn't feel like a very good morning to me. I have to have brain surgery today. Pretty scary. Plus, my sister's nervous. When she gets nervous, she sweats, and the windows in here don't open so it's pretty rank." The woman glanced down at her hands letting out a warning. "Was I rude, Ruthie?"

"Let's let the doctors talk." She switched the subject with a glance at them as George passed the chart to Derek. Cristina presented, easily getting on the case as she explained the tumor pressing on his frontal temporal lobe.

"It makes me say everything I think, which apparently is annoying. This doctor looks annoyed, anyway," he said with a nod to Cristina. Emily's phone buzzed against her thigh and she sneaked a small glance, only glimpsing the name. Mark, again, she groused to herself. Probably sent me a pic of some breakfast because rich-surgeon him. "Although it's hard to tell 'cause she always has kind of a pinched, uptight look on her face." George snickered quietly. "Am I annoying you?"

"It's fine," Cristina assured.

"You can't say it's fine. He doesn't perceive sarcasm or irony." The man turned to watch Meredith and Derek interact as Ruth continued, "If he's annoying you, you have to tell him."

"Maybe I'm not annoying her, Ruthie." Cristina quickly assured him that he was before Bailey gave a low warning.

"He asked," she talked back as Derek assigned Cristina the case and instructed her to prep him for surgery, finishing with a standard question:

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Is that blonde your girlfriend?" Benjamin asked, looking at Meredith. Glancing at each other, they let him continue, "'Cause the way you keep looking at her, you might as well just mount her right here and now," Coughing loudly, Emily ducked her head, hand curled into a fist in front of her mouth to hide the beginnings of a smile. "I'm sorry, was that rude?"

"Benjamin," Ruth repeated again. He scanned their faces as she glanced down at her phone again. Taking it out quickly, she read the whole message.

:is addison at work today? I want to talk: Frowning, she was about to respond when the man piped up.

"You look annoyed. But you're pretty too so it makes you look kinda hot. Did your boyfriend have to put your date back again? Like a rain check or something?" Slowly looking up, she saw their eyes on her. Derek and Meredith both tilted their heads and Cristina had a knowing look in her eyes.

"No. It's nothing." Ignoring Bailey's death glare they began saying their farewells to the patient and his sister. Derek excused himself to go see to another patient. The interns and their residents piled out after him, turning around to Bailey as soon as they exited. She had her eyebrows raised in a unbelievable manner.

"I'm proud of you all," she began sardonically, "you make me proud. You reflect on me well. Grey, if you think you can keep your clothes on long enough to follow up the labs, I'd appreciate it. Karev, cover the pit." The black woman informed them all that Addison was 'out sick' as she restated her instructions. Trailing off, she cocked her head and stared hard at something behind them. "You can tell me whose damn panties are on the bulletin board." Her volume rose as they whipped around.

"Are those yours?" Cristina whispered and Emily's eyebrows felt like they reached her hairline.

"You slept with Derek?" She asked quietly as whistles rose. The men erupted into laughter as Bailey stalked up to the black garment.

"This is a hospital, people. Serious work happens here. We save lives here. Something funny?" she questioned, displeased. "Whose are these?" Other staff started laughing as they tried to continue with their work. Spotting Callie, the ortho resident she frequently worked with when on ortho, she shared a glance. Alex nudged George in an almost friendly gesture as he tried to stifle his laughs. "Yeah, I know it's one of mine. It's always one of mine. Always,"

At that moment, Emily had never felt so small as she just backed away with a placating gesture. "Not me."

"Says the person who took McSteamy to the prom," Cristina hissed quietly. Meredith glanced at her, shocked as George and Alex looked just as surprised.

"So tell me, which one of you left your damn drawers on my surgical floor?" As the lie was about to leave Emily's mouth, Callie stepped up.

"Oh, no. Did I leave my underwear lying around again?" She asked with a small chuckle, "I am so sorry, Bailey, it's, uh, it's my bad." Bailey turned around to them with a disbelieving expression before storming away. Walking after her, Meredith poked her on the arm.

"You took McSteamy to the prom?" she asked as George tapped her on the shoulder.

"You and McSteamy? Since when?"

"I didn't 'take' him anywhere. It's nothing, I swear," the brunette insisted with an embarrassed smile. "We're just friends."

"You're so blushing. Did you do the nasty-nasty?" Cristina goaded with a smirk.

"No, I swear. Cross my heart or whatever,"

"Probably didn't. She's so uptight for someone who got laid," Alex said with a cocky glint in his eyes. "Unless he didn't do a good job," With her notepad in hand, she whacked him hard on the arm.

"Alex!"

.

"Ugly," someone commented over her shoulder, making Emily start. Whipping around, she was faced with blue eyes and a cocky smile. "Large second-degree burns on the chest and right arm."

"You haven't seen worse?" she quipped, a smile already beginning to make its way onto her face. She clicked her pen, closing the binder and setting it aside. "What are you doing here?"

"Seeing you, seeing how you work," he said, leaning against the counter. "Is it dangerous to be here? Since both of them are here today," the man added in a low whisper.

"Probably. But Addison's out sick today," she replied, poking his chest with the pen. He chuckled before dropping the smile. "Everyone hates being a second choice and no likes being left behind," she finally said, noting his expression.

"Especially when it comes to love," he added wryly. Taking his hand in hers, she began doodling absently with the blue ink. Drawing a swirl, she listened to him. "I don't know what to do, but my shrink said I have to fight, so here I am." Pausing for a split second, she continued, dotting its curve before adding another curly line. "I'm staying in Seattle."

"To fight," the brunette mumbled distractedly as he moved his hand. An uncomfortable feeling curled up in her gut but chose to ignore it. "Hey!"

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, surrendering his hand to her. As she connected lines, it was silent."I don't know why I'm here. You should be working."

"That's okay." She offered a smile. "I don't mind that you're here." Despite his doubts, her dimpled smile made the hope in his chest swell.

A/N: Edited - September 2, 2018