Chapter 1

This is my second time attempting to writing something and hopefully you guys injoy it!

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You know, life hasn't always been shit for me. I had a good first ten years of it. Playing around with the neighborhood kids and running around outside till it felt like my heart would burst and I would pass out. Sometimes I came real close to the latter but would always have a smile on my face whenever I ended up on the ground, unable to move from exhaustion.

But you know how the saying goes, everything has to come to an end eventually. Especially the good times, and it all happened because I just didn't pay attention to my surroundings.

It happened on my tenth birthday. It began like any other kid's birthday party. Got some presents, invited a bunch of friends over, and the cake! Can't forget about the cake. I mean, what else do you do with kids that are hyped to the sun and back on extremely sugary dessert?

You send them outside to run it off which is exactly what my parents and the others did with their kids. After opening up presents and seeing all the toys, baseballs, basketballs, and frisbees. All activities my mom and dad were getting me into to run off all that energy.

So, me and my friends took a few out front to play with but not after getting an ear full of warnings about staying out of the street.

Tossing balls back and forth and throwing the frisbee. Running after them like the happy go lucky kids we were till one of them threw the frisbee a little to hard and it banked left into the direction of the road.

Now here's where I messed up. I was have so much fun that I didn't even think about nor remembered the warning my parents gave me and I booked it after that damn toy without a care in the world. Running from grass to asfalt, I reached for the frisbee, and just as my fingers graze the edge of it I finally register the car horn and the screeching of tires on pavement.

Too little, too late.

The impact was so sudden that I didn't even feel it. I hit the bumper, going over it into the windshield, then over the roof of the car till I smack down onto the road. Hard. I just laid there not truly understanding what happened to me, a loud ringing in my ears and numbness all over. Then I heard the banshee like scream coming from my mother who happened to come outside at that specific moment. Then everything went dark.

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The next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital, mom holding my hand asleep in a chair next to my bed, while dad was talking to to the doctors outside. From what I could hear through the door and see through the window, it wasn't good.

But I guess I already figured that out myself when I tried to move. I didn't quite panic immediately. It was strange. Looking at my mom's hand, trying to squeeze it to wake her up and just, nothing. No pressure, no twitch, not even that pens and needles feeling from my arm when I slept on it wrong. Just, nothing. I can still move my head so that's good I suppose.

Looking down at my feet, I try moving them even when I know it will be the same result. Nothing. That's when I start breathing heavy, cold sweat forming on my face, and the panic starts setting in. I kept trying to move my legs, the agonizing thoughts of no longer being able to run again, feeling the wind on my face, and the heart pounding exhilaration I came to love, killed me.

That's when I felt it. Someone grabbing my right hand. I. Felt it. I squeezed their hand back and finally looked over to seeing my dad trying to calm me down along with the voice of my mom who woke up from the commotion.

After awhile, I did calm down enough for the doctor to inform my mom about what he told my dad in the hallway. The way the car hit me was the worst way for it to happen. Resulting in complete paralysis from the neck down aside from my right arm.

Mom bursted into tears while dad held strong, although from the look in his eyes he already cried out in the hall. The doctor told them how lucky I am to still be alive from that kind of impact.

Yeah.

Lucky.

They continue to talk for a bit and the doctor finally left. Dad went to go get some food for us while I just stared off into nothing. The realization of never walking again hitting me hard. Never playing outside. Never, running. I think that's what truly hurt the most. Not the fact that I was hit by a car. The fact that I just won't be able to run ever again.

That's when the dark thoughts started appearing in my mind. Why did it have to to be me? Why didn't it happen to one of the other kids? Would of been better for me if it did. Why did I survive? Why, why, why!?

As all these thoughts flashed in my mind, my mother got up to go to the restroom, saying she'll only be gone a second. I'm glad she left when she did because the words that left my mouth unintentionally would have probably killed her.

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"I wish I had just died when I hit the ground."