Doomed

"Sometimes what you're looking for comes when your not looking at all."

- Anonymous

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Gauhar's POV

I felt a sinking in the pit of my stomach as I faced the door that held my doom. I hoped the ground would open up and swallow me, so that I didn't have to face the confrontation that awaited me.

But if the floor did swallow me I'd only end up on the floor below. Which sucked, but then reality was never fun, was it?

I dreaded having to talk to father. I wondered if it was advisable to hide my face with a mask so that father didn't notice the slowly growing swelling on my cheek. But then, I was sure that would make him even more suspicious, why did father have to be so perceptive?

Dang it.

It was not that I was afraid he would give me a dressing down worse than the one my mother gave me. I was a weathered warrior, I knew nothing could phase me now.

Mother made sure of that.

I was afraid to see disappointment and hurt on his face for the actions committed by me. My heart had faced many blows, but I was sure that the sadness in his onyx eyes would definitely break me apart. That is why I sincerely hoped that the concealer had done its job. If not then Daniya was going to regret ever forcing me to buy it.

If that incompetent concealer failed to hide my mistakes form the one person in my life I looked up to, then it was time to file a lawsuit against cosmetic companies for lying to everyone.

I leaned against the door and closed my eyes. Not wishing to see the images that my mind had begun to conjure but I didn't have the power to stop myself from thinking it. I hated when these unbidden images swarmed my mind…. I always wished I could erase the unpleasant parts of my life.

But everything couldn't be that easy, could it?

I took in a deep breath, as my fingers curled into fists. My anger always got the better of me, no matter how hard I tried to seal it in the darkest parts of my mind. Its scorching heat always melted all my defenses. The bruises on my knuckles from nearly killing a man was proof of how inept I was at controlling myself.

I hated felling helpless, and anger always made me feel that way.

I felt my ears perk up as I heard two voices coming out of the study, pulling me out of my short trip to sorrowland. I furrowed my brows as I tried to understand the words spoken on the other side of the door. I could decipher a pair of voices arguing. One was definitely my father, the other one was also oddly familiar.

The voices seemed to keep getting louder.

Not that I was complaining , I was happy I no longer had to stick my ear to the door to hear the sounds. But the words spoken shocked me, I covered my mouth to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape my mouth.

What was going on?

"You had only one job, and that was to make sure that they didn't complain. And Alyaan, you weren't even able to do that properly!" fathers voice travelled up to me, I could sense the anger vibrating in his voice.

"It wasn't my fault! I tried my best, I always do. Why don't you believe me? Brother have you lost all trust in me?" I heard uncles distressed voice travel up to me.

"Don't you start talking about trust Alyaan, you know I trust you more than anyone else. But you were supposed to make sure they were satisfied with our products. And now they are demanding a refund, how are we supposed to cope with the loss?" father sighed, the worry in his voice sliced through me.

I longed to help him, but I didn't know how…I never knew how.

And I freaking hated it.

"And you don't think that I did my best to make sure that they were satisfied brother? Don't you think I gave my freaking all to this deal?" uncle questioned in a voice that sounded incredibly pained.

"What I don't understand is that just a week ago, they were fine with our exports. It's beyond my comprehension what happened that made them get so angry that they are not only demanding a refund, but are also threatening to sue us."

I sucked in a sharp breath as the words registered in my mind. The company was in a crisis and father never let us even get a whiff of it. He was handling it all on his own. I hated not knowing about it, and I hated it even more that there was nothing that I could do make things better.

I knew I couldn't stay useless, knowing that my father was in distress. I had to help him somehow, though right now I didn't know how. I was sure I'd be able to devise a way to get it done.

"You don't trust me do you brother? You never thought of me as one of you, you never considered that the company was as much mine as it is yours. I was never worthy of it..." my eyes widened as I felt uncle's voice crack at the end.

Was he crying?

"Alyaan Wha-?" I heard father begin. But in my eagerness to listen onto the conversation, I didn't realise that I had been putting a lot more weight on the door than was safely advisable for eavesdropping. Overlooking this very small, yet essential detail led me to my discovery.

I mentally slapped myself, my woeful ninja abilities would have surely made all the ninjas cringe in disgust. Maybe they'd even want to behead me for getting caught out…who knew. And I was glad we couldn't find out either. I was in no hurry to find out the consequences inept ninjas had to face.

Though right now, the looks on the faces of my father and uncle didn't look very promising either. I wished that I could shrink myself enough to hide under the carpet. I hoped they didn't suspect me of listening in on their conversation. (though that was exactly what I was doing.)

I forced the most innocent smile I could muster on my face and beamed at them. Hoping beyond hope that my cuteness would successfully make them forget the fact that I was doing something wrong.

Oh how I wish I was a child once again. It was unfair that you had to stop looking cute once you grew up.

Apparently I was doing a decent job of acting innocent, because uncle's face had split into a big smile. But I also knew that I had not done a good enough job, because father's face showed no expression at all.

Which was the scariest expression on his face.

That is why it scared me more than anything.

I took in a deep breath, and braced myself. I knew I could do this, I had faced much worse…it was going to be alright.

Though I knew that thinking these things was futile, they still made me feel a little more confident. It was amazing how we could convince ourselves of things that were untrue, if we wanted to believe in them badly enough.

The atmosphere in the room was so thick, that I was barely able to breathe. But uncle's smile was so radiant, it made me wonder how he could be oblivious to it. What surprised me even more was the fact that not too long ago, he was arguing with father. Perhaps father was thinking the same thing, because I could see the surprise in his dark eyes as uncle pulled me into a hug.

"How is my little spitfire doing? Upto anything interesting lately?" he asked, pulling me away and placing both his hands on my shoulders. His eyes so much like father's were shining at me with warmth.

As soon as he asked that, my hand instinctively went to the cheek that was hiding the proof of my 'interesting' encounter today. I smiled uneasily at him "Um, no uncle. Nothing interesting happening in my life lately, all I have been capable of doing is go to college and coming back home with assignments that ensure another sleepless night."

It wasn't a complete lie….I had just hidden the truth, so I had nothing to feel guilty about. Right?

"Ah, college days. How great would it be to be young once again." He sighed, his eyes glazing over in reminiscence of some age-old memory of his youth.

"Trust me uncle, it's not as fun as it sounds. Taking history of English law was the worst decision of my life."

"Aww, you're just being pessimistic now little spitfire." He ruffled the hair that I had worked so hard on untangling.

There goes all my hard work.

"I'll help you out with that history assignment. I was the best in my class at history, don't you fret yourself little one." His words made me nearly jump in happiness. God had sent him as a gift to reduce my worries.

Maybe this day wasn't as bad as I thought it was after all.

"Thank you uncle, you're the best!" I hugged him again nearly squeezing the life out of him, but he didn't seem to mind as he chuckled indulgently.

I felt him jump suddenly, as his phone started ringing. He pulled away from the hug, his eyebrows furrowing as he answered the call.

"What's it Chester?" he demanded, his voice losing all the warmth that it had held a few moments ago. Whatever that other person was saying, uncle did not like it. His black eyes were cold, and his lips were set into a thin line.

"Yeah I'll get it done, and you better remember to complete your work as well. I don't tolerate tardiness." I could say that father was as lost as I was, when I noticed the puzzled expression on his face.

"Hmm…kay. I'm on my way to Birmingham--- yeah I'll get it done." My eyes widened at the mention of Birmingham.

"You are going to Birmingham?" I asked him. He nodded silently as he fished out a set of papers from his coat pocket.

"For how long?" I enquired.

"I don't quite know for how long, but I'll have to get going right now so that I reach there on time." He passed the papers in front of father, motioning towards him to sign them.

Father raised an eyebrow at him in question, perhaps asking what the papers were about.

"It's just regular procedure brother, nothing much. Please sign them quickly because I have to leave." He said glancing at his wristwatch.

I pursed my lips in disapproval as I saw father sign those papers without thoroughly going through them. However, he seemed unphased by it, as if it were normal for him to do so.

I felt cold dread settle in my heart as I my eyes followed uncle's departing figure. I wasn't ready for this, but I knew that it was inevitable. I stared expectantly at fathers back, hoping that he didn't turn around so that I didn't have to see his disappointed expression.

"So Gauhar" he began, causing me to close my eyes in fear.