Amitabha. Mad Monk.1/2

+1 charges.

I exploded during cultivation.

+1 charges.

again.

I didn't realize it was this hard.

+1 charges.

Every time I try to get to peak Xiantian in Ki I always get to a point where my body can't handle the pressure.

+1 charges.

And then I explode like some balloon filled with dinomite and flesh, blowing up the inn in the process.

+1 charges.

That's right, A Xiantian Apprentice level cultivator has enough Ki when self-detonating's to blow up an entire city modern city block.

+1 charges.

Or a very large fancy inn.

I sigh, and give up on Ki cultivation for the night. I look at the moon outside and realize it's about 2 AM, I Then notice i'm still not tired at all.

I start doing body cultivation, and then Immediately realize what I've been doing wrong.

I'm supposed to strengthen the body FIRST. What kind of moron am I?

I move the save point forward, afraid that I'd forget that I need to cultivate my body if i didn't.

I then realize that's stupid after I do so. My consciousness survives long enough to see the inn explode and doesn't forget anything at all.

I sigh, and then get to flexing my muscles in odd ways while chanting things that would make people look at me like i'm 100% insane.

"Open the gate of death 6 times, pass through samsara 81 times, and cut down the palace. Reforge the guard, and become the emperor 95 times In 95 ways."

Mutter beneath my breath this stupid chant and then move to the next line.

"Open the gate to the first heaven, and the palace guard welcomes the first brick."

I use a chopping motion while flexing all my muscles at once.

"to break." with my other hand I make a hammering motion.

"Re-forge the body In the image of death." I flex all my muscles in a weird pattern and then do an Armstrong from full metal alchemist pose. I wish I got to see the rest of that manga, japan went nuts when Kyushu sunk and the manga industry just straight up died.

My mind wanders to modern amenities that I miss, like television then, and I shake it off.

I make it to the Xiantian Peak with my body constitution. I could probably Take on Lung at this point.

I grin happily and look down at my excessively sculpted form. I look like a boss. I step forward to go to the bath, and am immediately on the other side of the room.

I frown. Looks like I'm going to have to get used to being velocity-lite with a massive brute-rating. Luckily I didn't break anything.

---

After a long night of me just cultivating, and dying 6 times due to being a cultivation moron, I go downstairs and see Rem and Ram waiting for me, along with Puck and Emelia just sitting on a couch twiddling with a- Is that a Rubik's Cube?!

I feign nonchalance and go over to Emelia and say, "What's that?"

She smiles up at me with that fake smile again. and says "It's a new mind puzzle from Kararagi."

I look at her fake smile and am immediately depressed. "You don't have to fake being happy with me, Emelia, I'm with you even if you're sad."

Her smile drops, a tear falls from her eye, and then she says, "Thanks, Subaru, But I think I'll keep the smile until I can actually be happy without faking it." She stands up and walks out.

fucking smooth, I sarcastically think. damn. fuck. I made her even more sad.

Rem and Ram come up behind me and both start patting me on the shoulder.

"There, there, not everyone can be a magical Casanova, getting in all the panties." Rem nods seriously.

I frown, "It's not like that, I was trying to cheer her up."

"There, There, Not everyone can talk to a woman without making them cry like an insensitive moron." Ram says condescendingly, trying not to laugh.

I frown again, "Shouldn't we go after her?"

They both nod, stop patting my back and start walking forward.

I follow them to the adventurers guild.

---

"I told you, If you kill these adventurers by accident, I'm revoking sending a request to the main branch to have your adamantine license revoked. We need a different person who can actually hole back! Why did you even take this job!?" The very contrite looking receptionist says to a tall rough looking guy about twice my age He's about 6"1 and seems to be built like a brick shit house he no hair on his head, and a glint in his eye. he has gauntlets with spikes for knuckles strapped on his sides. He looks like he's wearing monks robes.

"Because I heard this one is strong and fights with his fists. He killed the Bowel hunter without even letting her regenerate! I have to see his potential in person!" He says, Grinning happily. I look at him, and frown.

I notice his power is that of a 8th level Wanxian Adept, the level above Zifu disciple.

He looks at me, and grins, "Amitabha, I see you are also a practitioner of the way, but a different one from ours." His grin widens, he then continues. "You aren't from around here are you?"

I stiffly salute him and start acting like a cultivator from a crappy novel. "thank you Elder, It is good to see someone who knows the way all the way out here, let us not talk about this in front of mortals, however."

He nods. "Very sensible. let us go downstairs so I can show you some pointers."

Rem and ram look at me strangely and I shake my head and while the mans head is turned, I spin my finger round my ear and cross my eyes, then put my thumb across my throat.

Luckily the symbols for unstable nut job who might kill us is not very hard to convey. Rems hands tighten on her extendible flail, and she looks nervous. Ram just narrows her eyes, and Emelia seems confused.

Hopefully we don't piss this cultivator off.