Chapter Thirty
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"You'll visit right?" Grandfather asked adding to the conversation for the first time. "Richard!" Grandmother Helen said in shock. "We cannot raise his child for him," she continued.
"I am not asking you to mother I merely want her to stay with for a while so that I can sort my thoughts out so that I can breathe, I will visit every holiday and she'll move in with me again just not now," Father said he sounded desperate. Desperate to get rid of me.
"and what if I do not want to leave," I said softly "What if I want to stay with you, and not be thrown away," I said softer than I had expected, but all three hear what I said. Father looked at me conflicted and I saw in the corner of my eyes that grandmother clasped her hand over her mouth and shuffled towards her husband.
"Pansy, I am not throwing you away. I am working on becoming a better father but for that to happen I need to be alone. I will visit you every vacation," Father said softly. I looked back down breaking contact, I felt my eyes sting and my throat was dry and all I wanted to do was cry. I held it in to ask one more question.
"When?" I asked. Father stroked my hair and whispered into my ear. "Tonight," He said, his voice low and gruff. I flinched at his words. Flinched at the fact that I could be alone on my birthday.
"But it is my birthday," I yammered sadly. Father looked conflicted at the cuffs of his shirt. "I need you to be a strong young lady, okay," He sighed. "I will come any time I can to meet you talk to you, I promise to send letters but please till then behave and be a proper lady," He continued.
"Did I do something wrong father, did I not do well enough in my lessons," I ranted. I did not want to leave and not with strangers. Even if we were family they had not bothered to show up when mother was buried, and I was in the arms of Tribble while father cried, softy. They had not been there when I celebrated my first birthday, now my second, third or fourth.
"You did nothing wrong sweetheart it is just hard for me these last few months and I decided that it will be best for your future if you went with grandmother and grandfather for a while," He said. I knew I could not stay not when Father could not bear to look at me.
"Be a good girl okay," He said patting my head as I cried for the first time in a long while. He carried me to my room with my grandparents behind. I merely clutched on to father as Tribble was preparing my clothes, books, and other necessities I would need. Tutor Lina gave my homework and her lesson program for my lesson to my grandparents who would be continuing my education as she resigned from her post.
It had been apart of the agreement with father that I missed when I ran away. Once my grandparents showed up she could retire from her position as my tutor and they would take over.
Tutor Lina tried to talk to me, to say goodbye but I ignored her. This was the only time I could father in a long time, to cry in his arms without embarrassment. I could cry as much as I want. I reckoned that people at the party would be flabbergasted to see me crying in my father's arms.
Somehow, however, I think they all knew. I think they all knew that I was to leave. Father must have informed Lucius who informed Narcissa who informed her close circle of friends. Maybe that was why Daphne had asked if I was okay.