Levaa
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
The MC Honey Badger Form (female version). [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
▪︎Translation Quality........☆☆☆☆○ ▪︎Story Development........☆☆○○○ - this is for the readers (well because this is translated). why 2 ☆?. because the original author forgot to develop his other characters. the only one getting stronger is the mc. the crew are nothing but background ornaments. the mc just keep ordering them to hide while he fights. he doesn't even train. he get boosted whenever he absorbs a DF and for some reason he learns haki by absorbing the DF. ▪︎Character Design...........☆☆☆○○ - the physical design is a bit good. abilities is OK for me. magically learning haki is a no to me -☆, he took koby as a student just to take advantage of him -☆. ▪︎Updating Stability..........☆☆☆☆☆ ▪︎World Background.........☆☆☆☆☆
M this is my review after reading for a while now, your story has a great start. With smooth grammar with few little mistakes when using proper words, all is good until you dicided to go with the common trope, 8 of 10 one piece fan fics out there go with having some of luffys crew into theirs. Turning this great fic into that of a meh, or barely good enaugh. If you want to have something that is popular, atleast go with something original. One piece world's is big and diverse. That's all.
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